It wasn't his hair, skin, his eyes or muscles even tho the muscles were great and all. Knowing he could manhandle her and throw her around in bed in good way.

It was his smile. That adorable, goofy smile that she loved to look at.

She was always looking.

Even now, when sleep wanted to overcome her. Sated and peaceful, she kept her eyes on him, though she knew what he would do. He always kissed her in that moment, while his hands loosened their grip on her hips. He always stayed inside her, letting her play with his hair. He always sighed when their bodies parted. He always lay next to her and pulled her in.

He always stayed silent. He always looked at the ceiling, his expression inscrutable.

Guilt, she supposed, greedily enjoying the rapid pulse of his heart against her cheek. There was always the fear that this would be the last time, so she spent the quiet moments memorizing the feel of his arm around her, or the way his chest rose and fell with each breath.

The silence stretched on and she felt the familiar ache start in her chest. Soon. Too damned soon he would be leaving. Whether on his own accord of because of a phone call, he would leave. Usually it was the phone call.

That phone call from home, signaled by the chorus of Make You Feel My Love when he forgot to silence the ringer.

She hated that song.

But she held onto the moments as they dwindled down. She listened to his heart rate slow down, watched his eyes close and wondered if he cared that their time together was almost over. She listened to his deep sigh, closed her eyes when he squeezed her.

No, she thought, swallowing the lump in her throat. His lips brushed her forehead and she pressed her lips together. She wouldn't cry.

Her eyes burned as soon as he moved away. The ache in her chest grew to a sharp pain and she had to turn her back to him. His phone came to life, drowning out her muffled sob.

She refused to look at him while he spoke to her. But she couldn't drown out his voice. She couldn't not hear the deep rumble that was comforting and reassuring. Her heart clenched and she hated herself for falling in love with him.

He stopped speaking. Her tears accompanied the rustling of his clothes. The mattress dipped and she felt the heat of his hand before it cupped her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." His lips rested against her cheek.

"Does she know?" Even though she knew it would draw out her torment she turned to look at him.

"You know she doesn't." His fingers brushed away her tears. "Please don't cry, baby girl."

"Why?" she whispered. "Why do you always go back to her?"

"It's only for a little while. You gonna be okay?"

No, she wasn't going to be okay. Not until the torture was over. But she nodded, sliding out of bed to pull on her robe. Then she was in his arms, forced to endure the anguish of another kiss. It was supposed to be a promise. A reminder that he always sought her out again.

"I gotta go," he murmured. "I l-"

"Don't," she whispered, clutching the front of his shirt. "Don't say it."

"But I do."

He caressed her cheek. He gave her one more tender kiss.

He left.

And she was alone to count the minutes until he could see her again.

She watched him out the corner of her eye. She couldn't look at him full-on. Not when his arm was around her. Not when he was laughing and joking and looking as though he were the best fiancé in the world.

Meanwhile his fiance was on her phone not really playing attention to anyone or anything else and that was strange. But whatever it wasn't her problem and didn't even give it a second thought.

He was acting like the best fiancé in the world. She wondered how it would go over since that was his gimmick. Loyal and faithful.

Ya right she scoffed rolling her eyes.

She maintained a calm exterior not looking his way, chatting with coworkers and texting her best friend/ sister Sierra who was in NXT as she picked at her food.

Everyone loved her there. She had work there just over a year as a hair dresser/ make up artist. Although in that moment she felt eyes on her she didn't even bother to look.

She was so used to pretending that everything was fine that when she looked up to walk out of the room she smiled at them but it hurt.

Roman saw it but seemed to ignore it and looked away.

His cousins saw it and gave her a sad look and smile. They were the only ones along with Sierra
Seth and Becky who knew about them. .

All but Sierra knew the real reason why he was with his fiancé still. He really did love her but wasn't in love with his fiancé anymore he had fell in love with another. They wanted Roman to tell her the truth They didn't like his fiancé they all thought she was a gold digger bitch and she thought the world owed her something well owed her everything, a real bitch. Roman saw it but ignored it.

The perfect couple. The rising star and the woman that he loved. The woman that stayed by his side. The woman that carried his diamond ring on her finger. The woman that was carrying his child.

The woman she admired, hated, and was jealous of every day.

The woman that he gave pep talks too when she was feeling down. The woman that had no idea.

His girl was still on her phone smiling not paying attention so she kept watching him, searching for the tiniest sign. For all intents and purposes he ignored her or so she thought. But he knew she was there and then finally they locked sad eyes both caught looking at each and it hurt Roman to see the pain and hurt knowing he caused it and wanted to hold her.

But his arm was still around her and Melissa could still remember its weight. Its warmth. The security it offered.

Stomach churning, she left. Unable to bear the sight of him looking so happy but he watched her leave, she roamed the venue. Her body hurt. Her heart ached. So she went and found the uppermost seat and, in the shadows, allowed herself to cry. She almost threw up from crying pain was to much. Her phone rang. It was her best friend her sister Sierra. She was down training at NXT. Melissa and Sierra knew each other since grade school and when she was 13 her parents were killed in a car accident. Sierra's family took her in so they considered each other sisters and were as close even at times closer then sisters. Sierra knew how Melissa felt about Roman. She wanted to kick his ass. She hated to do it but she pushed ignore she didn't wanna talk to anyone right. Sierra would forgive her when she called back later.

She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand the heartache. The elation when he was with her no longer carried over to ease the pain when he was gone.

A tissue was pressed into her palm and she used it to mop up her tears. The man sitting next to her didn't say anything. He merely looked out at the arena, seemingly interested only in the setting up of the ring.

He knew. He'd figured it out on his own, damn the man. He'd questioned. He'd argued. But he'd kept quiet, offering support in his own little way.

Gave her tissues when she was crying. A companion, a friend when everyone else was out and she opted to stay in. An open ear. A nonjudgmental person she could pour her heart out to if she wanted to. Even the man's girlfriend was there for her at times when she needed a women to vent to also when her sister was busy and they both didn't mind. They never judged her.

But She never went to them, but she knew the option was there.

His arm slung across her shoulders as her tears slowed. It wasn't large or heavy enough. It wasn't him.

"You're better than this."

"Right."

The tissue was a crumpled mess but she used it anyway.

"It's not my place, but...."

"Dont please I know." It came out as a croak. Her heart twisted in her chest until she was sure it would detach.

"I'm sorry."

The kiss to the top of her head wasn't his. But it would do.

Days. Weeks. Months. She didn't measure the time but it seemed to stretch into years.

If He called. She'd told herself she would say no, but a few moments later she opened the door to let him in.

He smelled of coconut and tasted of chocolate and mint. Apologies were given between kisses. His large hands roamed over her body, removing her clothes, and she was powerless.

There was finality to it all. It didn't strike her until those silent moments afterward. He'd taken a little extra time kissing her. Spent a little longer making sure she was ready for him. Had stared at her sadly when their bodies joined. Or maybe she'd imagined it. Maybe she'd wanted him to do all those things. Maybe she'd wanted to think he knew it was over, too.

But was it?

She moved first. She refused to let herself get comfortable in his arms. She reminded herself as she dressed that she could do this. She was strong.

Even though she felt so weak.

The phone didn't ring. He must have silenced it.

"Don't," she said when he stepped up behind her.

She could sense his hands just above her shoulders.

He sighed.

"Babe-"

"Don't," she repeated, voice stronger this time.

"I know what you're going to say." She drew in a deep breath and turned to face him.

"I can't, Roman. I can't do this anymore."

He stared at her, brow furrowed. One of the hands that hadn't touched her reached up to push his hair back.

"What?"

"I need more. I need... I need better."

"Better than us?"

"There isn't an us. There never was."

Did she imagine the pain in his eyes? The surprise?

She shook her head before he could speak again. "Go. Go back to her."

"I want-"

"I want to be happy. I want to stop hiding in shadows and pretending. I deserve someone who can keep his promises." Surprisingly, there were no tears. That encouraged her. "I deserve better.."

"She-" he tried to say, she wouldn't let him.

"Loves you. I do, too, but it's not enough for you. You never loved me. If it was so, you'd have left her."

A sudden realization made her eyes widen.

"Even if you had... I don't know that I would have wanted you."

"Can I just-"

"I wouldn't have. Why would I want someone who can't be truthful? Someone who can't be happy with what he has? I was so stupid to fall in love with you."

God, she'd been so stupid. Angry with herself, she opened the door. Not just a crack so he could slip through, but all the way.

She didn't give a damn who saw him leave her room.

"You don't mean this." He gently cupped her cheek.

"I'll call-"

"I won't answer," she insisted.

"Get out."

"You'll change your mind."

"No," she said, standing in the doorway once he'd stepped into the hall.

"I don't think I will."

He walked away. She held her breath, watching, waiting for him to look back at her.

And he did like always he looked back upset but he tried to hide it. He saw the pain again in her eyes too. He turned bowed his head walked down the hall and as
she kept watching long after he'd turned the corner, and long after she'd heard the elevator she turned and
a tissue was pressed into her palm. Looking down at it, she realized she didn't miss the tears. Her gaze followed the offering hand up to an understanding face. And she smiled.

"Just in case," he said softly.

He closed her hand over the tissue.

She didn't need it.

She was done crying. Even tho they missed each other and it was hurting them both she didn't answer when He tried to call her and didn't answer when he came to her hotel room.

She was surprised he even asked Becky how she was.

Time pasted...
Alot happened but they still saw each other and it hurt.

But what happened to them next would bring them back together and change both their lifes forever.