Hurt builds up over time.

I've learned that now.

More and more

Day by day...

Until all I feel...

Is pain.

---

(( January 5th 9:00 AM))

My five brothers had slept in again.

I however, never had such luxuries the night prior. My cheek ached. Of course, no one had asked where the new edition to my bruises came from. They never do.

After all, Totty joining go club is much more interesting is it not? Hell, anything must be more interesting then my pity story...

I got up to look for pain meds. While digging through the medicine cabinet, I didn't have time to notice someone watching.

I closed the mirrored door of the cabinet only to see Osomatsu casually leaning against the wood framing of the bathroom door.

"Sup shittymatsu?" He snickered rubbing beneath his nose as always with that carefree attitude of his.

I looked away. I had thought everyone was asleep. Though I didn't want to stay for more teasing he was my big brother...I love all my brothers. Despite my fears, I sighed and obediently listened to Osomatsu picking me apart.

We stayed there for about ten minutes. During this time, he managed to tell me how he was
Going to steal my wallet, how I was acting overdramatic and 'emo' and how ugly my bruise looked.

Each word sticking to me as I nodded slowly. "Are you finished?" I asked slipping on my shades. My mask of a smile barely hanging. "I need to catch some Karamatsu Girls~" I snapped my fingers wanting an excuse to get away.

Osomatsu rolled his eyes. "Whatever shittymatsu. Ne, watch the others kay? I'm gonna go drink..." he slurred with a dismissive wave.

Me?

Watch them?!

"H-Hang on, Osomatsu Nii-San!" I cried out grabbing into his wrist.

He turned back. "Huh? What the hell is wrong with you today?" He asked narrowing his eyes into slits.

I found myself trembling. "H-Heh, I'm sure they'd rather Choromatsu!" I added trying to find a way out of it.

Why was I so scared?

Last time, I had been so eager to watch them. After all, I wanted to prove that I could be a good big brother too. However, I know my place now...

Osomatsu rolled his eyes roughly ruffling my hair. "Well, whatever, have a good day I guess." He said walking off without another word.

I sighed slumping against the bathroom counter.

I was trapped.
-

( January 5th 10:30 AM)

Despite my begging, I was still stuck with house duty.

The others were all awake now. Most went off to do their regular morning routine. However, since Jyushimatsu opted to stay home with me Ichimatsu did as well.

He claimed to be waiting for some cat but we both knew it was because he didn't trust me alone with the fifth brother.

Jyushimatsu, whom had been reading a baseball magazine, turned to me. "Karamatsu Nii-San?" He asked waddling over. He sat next to me causing Ichimatsu's cat ears to perk up.

I nodded slowly having still not been accustomed to my actual name being said. "Ah, yes my little Jyushimatsu?" I asked with a painful snap causing him to giggle.

My chest felt lighter now...Perhaps I was happy to make him laugh?

"Can we play a game??" He asked using his large yellow sleeves to latch onto my arm. The eagerness in his voice making it near impossible to say no.

"S-" I was about to agree when I was cut off.

"I'll play too..." Ichimatsu grumbled shooting me a warning glare.

I gulped.

I knew his intentions...

-

After a little while of thinking, Jyushimatsu decided on hide and go seek.

Even though it was childish both Ichimatsu and I complied.

First up to count was none other then the game master himself Jyushimatsu.

He ran to the couch eagerly jumping on to cover his eyes with a pillow. "Ok I'll give you a minute to hide!" He exclaimed to us.

I couldn't help but chuckle, it was always a good day when I got to feel like a real brother...

Ichimatsu began to walk off when he waved me over, beckoning me towards the closet.

Reluctantly, I complied. After all, it wasn't my place to say no. I knew that...

I gave Jyushimatsu one last final glance to see wether or not he was ok.

He was still counting along without a care in the world. With a sigh of relief, I cautiously entered the small space. To my shock, Ichimatsu immediately pinned me against the hard wall of the closet. "D-Do you need something my little bruzza?~" I asked trying to sound confident despite my obvious quivering.

"Shut up shittymatsu..." Ichimatsu growled in a low defensive tone. I knew what this was about. "What the fuck do you want with Jyushimatsu?" He asked in a husky whisper.

I found myself beginning to sweat. Was it really so bad to want to spend time with my little brother? "Want? N-Nothing! I just didn't want my little bruzza to feel lonely~" I cooed with a snap.

Jyushimatsu was almost done counting now...

Ichimatsu made a small 'tch' like noise. He was clearly pissed. "Shut the hell up, we all know he isn't the pathetic lonely one." He scoffed glaring daggers my way causing a pathetic gulp from me, "Stay the fuck away from him." Is all he said before pulling away. He then, pushed me out of the closet.

I didn't blame him for not trusting me...After all, I'm the one who let it happen. I'm the one who let Jyushimatsu hurt...

Snapping me out of my daze was none other than the fifth of my brother's peeking down at me. He eagerly knelt next to me. "You can't win hide and go seek by napping on the ground Nii-San!" He said with a giggle.

I looked away. I knew Ichimatsu was watching. With this in mind, I got up and walked towards the bedroom.

Jyushimatsu followed close behind. Though his smile remained I could tell he was upset that I was ignoring him. "Nii-San did you hear me?" He tried again to no avail. He opened his mouth to say more when Ichimatsu grabbed his shoulder.

"Shittymatsu Nii-San doesn't want to play with you." Ichimatsu stated.

'Stop.'
I froze in place.

"In fact, he told me he thinks you're annoying."

'That's not true...'

"He hates you Jyushimatsu." He concluded.

'Don't believe him...!'

Jyushimatsu looked absolutely heartbroken as he let go of my sleeves. His smile quivered indicating it was struggling to remain. Tears filled his wide eyes.

I wanted to help him...

However, I knew I wasn't allowed near him.

"H-" the boy paused shrivelling up. "H-He hates me...?" He asked with a weak pathetic giggle.

Ichimatsu picked up his little brother gently patting his back. "It's ok, we'll go play somewhere else ok...?" He asked in a soothing tone I had almost never heard from him. However, I knew it was staged as Ichimatsu was giving me a devious smirk.

He had won.

Jyushimatsu nodded slowly, his shoulders shaking as he desperately clung onto Ichimatsu whom began to lead the second youngest away.

I couldn't help but extend my hand. Though my voice felt frail and weak I had to let him know it wasn't true. "J-Jyu-" Ichimatsu immediately shut me down by slamming the door behind them.

I was alone...

Curling up, I erupted into sobs. Jyushimatsu had always been my one light, the one brother who was there to make me smile.

Now, all I had left was myself...

Who could possibly live a full life knowing they were stuck with someone as painful as me?

Wallowing in self pity, I sobbed loudly into my hands. I was absolutely pathetic. "B- *Hic* Bruzza...! I'm sorry...!" I cried.

However, I knew they would never be heard...

Leaving me to myself...

And my ever growing pain.

( A/N)

Ahhh I had to add in a little something to lead up to the twist I'm making.

And before you ask, no the twist has nothing to do with the song. However, I thought it'd be best to have a reason for Ichimatsu to be so protective of the pure little Jyushimatsu.

It's a good reason if you ask me.

Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this book so far! As for my hiatus, I think it was just because I'm not used to this writing style. However, I'll try to update much more frequently now!

I've really been loving your kind comments so thank you all very much!

~ Admin