⏱️ A Few Minutes Later...

°Deanne's POV°
9:55 A.M.

I'm almost hyperventilating at the thought of seeing Chance walking the streets of the community again.

I don't know why, but the mere thought of him and I sharing the same space, after all these months have passed, sends my heart fluttering in my chest.

Aye, yuh know say mi ago find a church go tho.

Or a sea fi go chuck off inna, cuz mi must need a wash-off.

No, man!

One gyal can salt so?

This a sign to pussyclaat.

Mi affi go ask Mommy which part she did plant mi navel string, because...

Noth'n cyaaa go so.

Then again...yuh know say...I'm partly responsible when mi really check the stock. A me wrong fi tek up wah mi couldn't manage.

Man mi did waa. Man mi get.

My mind drifts to the last interaction I had with Miss Peaches' son, and I frown at the memory.

Maybe if I continue to avoid him, he will get the drift and avoid me too.

Right?

Mi highly doubt that, but mek we see...

Chance has always been the pushy kind. The jealous kind too.

So, I know it will be a challenge keeping him away for long. Matter-of-fact, the only reason I'd managed to do it for so long was because he'd been otherwise minded.

Fucking Trudy from down the lane.

But, based on how Shavar spoke, it seems he's back with a vengeance; his eyes set on me. He's gonna want answers. Since I'd just cut him off like that, without telling him why.

I make a face.

"Yuh alright, lady?" Ali's voice startles me, making me jump. "How yuh look wild so? Like yuh just see day ghost."

Jesus, gyal yuh frighten mi eno!

My eyes settle on her, as she puts the phone on her lap and pulls her right foot onto the other, using the nail clip to cut her toenail before looking back at me.

A muffled voice coming through the speakers brings my attention to the phone, noticing that she's on a video call with Shane.

"Not you, beau," Ali tells him.

His red face pops up on the screen, momentarily, before he's out of the camera's view again.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I force a small chuckle, pushing my body off of the door and walking further into the living room. "A mussi you a the day ghost weh mi see."

She laughs at my teasing tone, making me laugh as well.

When she sobers up, her eyes narrow at me as I sit beside her, on the sofa's armrest, reaching across to pop off a handful of the grapes on the bundle next to her. "Yuh sure yuh good?"

"Yeah," I lie through my teeth, popping the small, juicy fruit into my opened mouth. "Mi alright."

She mimics my action, biting the grape directly from the bunch, spitting the spine into the bowl.

"A weh yuh buy them yah?" I ask, desperate to change the subject. "Them sweet bad." And fat too.

"Pricesmart."

I quirk a brow. "Yuh have Pricesmart membership now?" Waa, mi cousin a gwaan wid herself, man.

"No. A mi coworker did a go and mi go wid her."

"Which one? Sherice or Manda?"

She's always talking about those two, so I registered the names.

Ali smiles. "What a way yuh know the people dem name, miss! But, yea...Manda."

Good gyal, Manda, rayyyy. My smile spreads at the mention of her name. Although I have never seen her in person, I've seen her on pics, and heard so much about her, so it feels like I know her. She's so pretty. And she's kind to my cousin, so I like her.

"Oh." I pop another grape into my mouth, wiping the juice from my lips.

Alicia hums, picking up the phone from her lap as Shane's face pops up on the screen again.

"Babes, mi hood a hurt mi yuh fuck, like mi out fi catch blue balls,"  he tells my cousin, out-of-the-blues, making her sit up quickly, her eyes going wide as she tries to mute the call, as if caught off guard.

I almost laugh at her dear-in-the-headlights expression.

"Ew! Ali, yuh figot say mi deh yasso?" I shriek, nonetheless, my cheeks heating up. Hear the people dem a defile mi virgin ears!

Alicia blushes, tilting the phone towards me. "Babe, mi cousin deh beside mi eno!"

"Fuck, sorry!" I hear Shane say, adjusting his phone's camera, as well.

A wah dem two ya did in yah a talk 'bout mek Shane out fi have blue balls?

Yuh see the fucka face...

"A who that, the forbidden fruit?" he adds, when he sees me, making reference to the fact that my nickname is 'Apple'. Corny like.

"A who that Shane-O?" I answer, my smile teasing. "How yuh corny so, redface bwoy! Yuh nuh see say yuh need likkle sun?"

"Mi need more than sun, but yuh cousin nawh gimme none."

"Jesus, Shane!" Ali and I say, simultaneously.

This only serves to make Shane laugh. Yuh see this likkle redface bwoy! Him nuh know him limited eno!

"Stay deh think Apple a baby," he says through a smirk. "She soon bring in man pon you and Ms Cynthia. Stay deh. Right, bad charge?"

Ali's eyes snap to me and I blush. My mine drifts to a certain someone and my heart skips a beat.

"Mi?" I point a finger at my chest. "No sah. Mi 'fraid a dah sum'n deh weh name man!"

"Right!" Ali backs me up. Then frowns at her boyfriend. "So, stop try bruk out the lady and move."

Shane scoffs. "So she say now, thru a bare woman face she a look up inna a day time. Wait 'til she start work and man start whisper lyrics inna her ears. We ago see who 'fraid a man."

Hear the mon!

Wah yuh know 'bout me, Oshane!?

Gripping the phone and tilting it more to face me, I frown. "Shane, today a Sunday eno. Yuh n'ave nuh likkle bed fi spread? Nuh likkle suit fi press? Weh yuh nuh gweh?"

His laugh is raucous, making me laugh along with him. Mi not even a laugh!

A smirk then quirks the corners of his pink lips. "Tell yuh cousin fi come press dem fimmi."

Ali hisses her teeth. "Don't mix mi."

And I laugh. "Yuh hear the lady?"

"Talk she a talk man. Mi soon wul her."

Watchya. Yuh know wah...I spring to my feet. "Aye, dem argument ya bigger than mi. Mi gone!"

"No, come back nuh, Apple! Stop listen to big face Shane, yawh!"

"Always listen to mi yawh, bad charge," he counters. "But stay fi real, mi ago bill."

So yuh say now.

Shaking my head, I tsk. "No thanks. Mi have homework fi go do. Fi uno bread butter pon the two sides eno."

Moving over to the entertainment stand, I unplug my phone from the charger before walking towards the stairs; Ali's eyes following me.

"If yuh need mi, mi upstairs," I tell her, taking the stairs two at a time. Look how mi siddung inna the damp shirt til it all dry back pon mi to rahtid.

As I reach the top of the stairs, Ali laughs, telling me Shane must've said something lewd. Him mouth slack yussi.

Mi cyaaa bother wid that redskin bwoy.

Entering my room, I walk straight to my dresser, pulling out a clean blouse.

Pulling the white tee over my head, I replace it with the pink spaghetti strapped blouse I just took out.

My nipples are hard, pressing against the thin fabric.

As I run my palms over them, my mind goes back to yesterday. Wonder wah such man did a think when him see them?

The thought summons a fluttery feeling between my legs. Jesus, gyal, stop.

Sighing, I move to the bed, sitting on the edge as I pull my laptop and text books from my JanSport.

Yuh know say mi nuh have no vibes fi do tha assignment ya though!

I look at the Geography textbook beside me and sigh again.

"Mi just hope dem handicap deh do fi them part eno. Else dem ago hear mi mouth," I mumble, powering up the computer.

Worse Miss Wilson nuh ramp 'bout her assignments.

Miss Wilson is my Geography teacher. Has been since fourth form. And when I tell you she doesn't play, I mean she doesn't play.

Ah boi.

As if Geo nuh hard as is, dem get one of the strictest teachers to teach it. Sigh.

I love the subject eno, don't get me wrong, but I just can't be bothered sometimes. Especially right now  when I'd rather be curled up in bed, watching a movie or sum'n.

Mi cyaa wait fi summer. Mi tired a school!

God!

Mi wouldn't mind dem five months ya run off as mi quint.

But knowing January, that naggo happen. January come like the whole year inna one month to baxide.

Pushing the thought aside, I get settled, bringing up a blank Word document. Might as well mi just do it if mi a do it and done.

After about ten minutes, I ease up, looking at the drawing on the graph paper before me. Ketch neat Population Pyramid! Yes, Artistic Dee.

I laugh. Yawh drama eno gyal.

It's true though. I went ham on this display. Not even the pyramid dem dung a Egypt nuh set good so!

Edna Manley need fi sponsor mi. Nah lie.

Angle! Triangle!

Purrrrr.

Laughing harder, I roll over, picking up the pen that rests on my notebook.

Aye, mi cyaa manage miself eno. Any man weh get mi cyaa ever have a dull day.

Mi just hope them have a sense of humour. Because...it naggo work.

Soon, I find myself thinking about Driva...nibbling on the cap of the papermate that's in my hand.

His eyes, his strong arms and broad chest. His lips that looked so pink, plump and soft.

His rock-hard abs. Wonder wah else pon him rock hard.

My face heats up.

Stop, stop, stop!

We're not going there with you right now, miss.

Grinning now, I try to push the image to the back of my mind, but everytime I try, it keeps popping back into my head.

Fi smaddy weh swear say them 'fraid a hood, yuh love think 'bout hood eno, lady!

What can I say? I live in a land of hood and water.

I splutter a cough at the thought. Think a did wood and water.

Trying to ignore the pulse between my legs, I reach for my water bottle and take a sip.

Ago play some music yawh...

Help distract mi mind.

Because...

Reaching for my phone, I click on YouTube, finding the song I'm looking for.

As the sound of Masicka's Love Story fills the room, I relax.

I love this song.

A few minutes pass, before I manage to get myself back in order——mostly because I was busy vibing to the song——settling with typing out my analysis.

'Cause mi nuh know weh horniness ago.

My mind drifts to the last time I had this overwhelming 'horny' feeling and what happened. I sigh.

Mi not even waa think 'bout that right now.

I swear.

Pushing the memory away, I continue doing my assignment.

.           .            .

"Relax."

"No, Chance, it hot..."

"Because yawh tense up yuhself, B!"

"No, stop. Mi waa go home..."

"Stop act like idiot, Apple!" he commands, the smell of Magnum on his breath, pungent.

"Mi waa go home!" My heart is drumming wildly in my chest.

Regret settles inside my chest like a heavy weight.

"And leff mi brick up so?" He hisses his teeth.

"Relax yuhself mek mi push it in!"

"No! Please stop!"

"A thru a your first time mek it hot. It soon cool off, babes."

That's all he's been saying for the past five minutes. And I'm yet to be convinced. Especially since he hasn't managed to get more than the tip inside.

He moves his hips once more and I feel as a tearing pain shots through me. Inhaling a sharp breath, I try wiggling under him.

Please stop.

Feeling beyong uncomfortable, I just want to go home and pretend this never happened.

Chance moves again, leaning down to kiss on my neck.

"No. Stop. Stop nuh. Just stop."

Despite my insisent pleas, Chance doesn't stop. He instead, positions his penis between my legs, once more——at the center of my opening——hoists his hips and pushes it in hard; sinking the entirety of his length into me.

I feel the very moment when something pops.

Then, a gut-wrenching scream leaves my lips, almost shattering my eardrums. But the sound is soon muffled by Chances' large, calloused palm over my opened mouth, forcing my lips together.

"Hey, shut up yuh bloodclaat mouth no gyal, and mind yuh mek mi mother hear we! Yawh act like yawh fool..."

Taken aback by his harsh words and the coldness in his voice, I look away. My eyes focus, unblinking, on the floral curtains as they sway from side to side each time the fan's breeze hits them.

Each time they move apart, I catch a glimpse of the night sky, through the glass of the closed window. Starless and dark; the light from the moon barely illuminating the stillness of the night.

The fact that my mother doesn't know where I am, since I waited for her to fall asleep before sneaking out, earlier, makes an unsettled feeling wash over me.

A so people first time feel?

Before I can register the thought properly, a strong hand cups my chin, twisting my face to meet its owner's.

"Mi love yuh, babes," he professes, his voice coarse, pulling his lower lip between his teeth then releasing it as he continues to move in and out of me. "Yuh pussy feel good yuh fuck!"

He sinks his dick deeper, making a circular motion with his hips. "A the best birthday present this nuh gyal ever gimme. A swear!" He moans.

Usually, hearing him praising me for any little thing would send me into a blushing frenzy. But not tonight.

I feel disgusted.

Icky.

The first stream of tears leave my eyes as I stare at the face of the man who's above me.

This isn't the chance I know. Sweet, caring Chance. Chance who got me comfortable enough to be in this position in the first place. The man who I could hardly wait to turn eighteen for, so I could give him a precious gift for his birthday: my virginity.

Chance who made me feel special; because, as a twenty-five-year-old, good looking man, who could get any woman he wanted, he chose me.

That's the Chance I knew.

"Yawh feel it, B?"

I nod.

"So how yuh nuh sound like yawh enjoy it?"

Maybe...because I'm not?

I look at him through blurred eyes.

No. I don't know who this man is.

He isn't my Chance. Dark, lidded eyes, an ugly scowl twisting his lips, grunting like a pig on top of me.

A man who doesn't understand that 'no' means 'NO'.

A sunken feeling overtakes me, making my already weak limbs weaker.

'You would enjoy it,' he'd told me, months ago. Enjoy mi rass!

This feels like a man a push up a iron pole inna mi, repeatly.

Stretching me wide open.

Despite my obvious discomfort.

This...this nuh feel good a baxide. This feels like...rape.

Prompted by that thought, I try fighting back, shifting my head suddenly and biting down on the side of his hand that's over my mouth.

BIG mistake.

He springs back, looking at the small dent and imprinted teeth marks in his golden-brown, blemishless skin; with narrowed eyes.

"A wah yuh just do, Apple? Bite mi?" he hisses, his eyes still focused on his hand.

Glad that he's distracted, I place my palms against his lower abdomen and push, with all my might.

Mi just want get a chance fi run...

I try scooting further up, moving backwards on the bed, a trail of blood lining the pale blue sheets.

But my efforts are halted by a hard slap against my cheek.

"Oi! Bomboclaat, Chance!" My mouth falls agape, my heart sinking with it.

"Yuh think mi fraid fi fuck yuh up, likkle pickney? See how man a tek time wid yuh and yuh come put yuh mouth pon mi? Look how mi ago kill yuh wid hot fuck now! Fucking bright!"

Goosebumps clothe my skin, and my eyes widen as he moves forward.

Jesus, Mommy, no!

Before I can react, he grips my hips and pulls my frail body to the edge of the bed. I want to cry out, but I'm frozen with fear. My eyes are blurry with tears and my skin burns; from his assault on my cheek and between my legs.

"Chance, nuh do this, please?" I beg.

My voice is hoarse from all the crying I've been doing, and sounds like a hurt kitten's.

Who mi a talk to?

"Shut up yuh fucking mouth and nuh say noth'n to mi, yute!" he sneers, positioning his bulkier frame between my legs once more. His eyes are cold, and his face painted with a sinister expression as he stares at me.

"The faster yuh easy yuhself, the quicker it done. Just know say yaggo bruise up, tomorrow."

The mere fact that he seems to be enjoying this, me struggling against him, makes my stomach wrench.

A rape this eno...

Yuh know that tho?

"Chance, mi will do anything. Just let mi go...please."

He hums. "'Memba a you gimme the pussy, so don't blame mi."

He's right. This is all my fault.

His grip on my hips tighten, pulling me closer, my legs draped over his arms, dangling in the air.

"Relax."

Is the last thing he says to me, before he slams into me...hard!

Inhaling a sharp breath, I bolt to a sitting position.

My eyes snap open and I frantically wipe the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hands. Coldsweat washes me, despite the fan that's on me, and my palms are clammy as I run them down the exposed skin of my thighs.

The sound of my heartbeat is almost deafening.

It was just a dream?

My heart skips a beat as realization sets in. I don't even know at what point I'd even fallen asleep.

It was just a dream. Thank God!

Sighing, I run my tongue over my parched lips, wetting them with saliva, while I wait for my pulse to steady.

The sound of the pressure cooker whistling, downstairs, echoes in my ears, complementing the smell of peas.

Ali mussi a cook.

I feel like I'm starving. Like I haven't eaten in days.

Reaching for my phone, I look at the time. It's 4 o'clock.

Mi sleep out all of the day.

I sigh, still feeling jittery.

The reason for that sitting at the forefront of my mind.

It has started again.

The dreams.

The anxiety.

It's as if the mention of Chance's name and the promise that 'He'll know wah fi do wid yuh' has triggered a core memory.

And now the feeling of trauma I've tried so hard to bury over these past couple months has resurfaced.

I sigh again, pushing the books and laptop, that are sprawled all over the bed, to the side and scooting to the edge.

My feet dangle above the floor before pressing against the cold, porcelain tiles.

Mi waa peepee.

Feeling drained, I stand, fixing the hem of my blouse which had rolled halfway up my belly, exposing the smooth melanated skin.

Running my hand over my face, I stifle a yawn before walking to the bathroom and closing the door behind me.

As I pee, my mind goes back to the dream and my frown deepens.

Mi know it ago weird seeing Chance around again.

Especially after what went down.

I sigh, anticipating the impending awkwardness. Just when I thought I'd caught a break.

Ah boi.

Mi just hope him see mi and nuh see mi eno.

'Though I doubt that will ever happen.

Because, when it rains...it fucking pours.

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