[OP: "Love Save the Empty" -- Erin McCarley]

Second Day continued...

"So Jinu," Wally said, when they sat in a different study. "I'll level with you, I am not good at this. But Shine gave me a list of things to ask you if I got stuck, so we'll just go off of that."

"I see... so you don't this then?" Jinu said.  

"Yes, she's the one who's good at this part. I mean analyzing, it, I like talking to people, but, I'm terrible at reading deeper into their issues. I more like to cheer them up... So, she wrote to start by asking you about how it's been turning human again... I mean...It must be nice not be controlled by Gwi-ma."

"Well, I don't always feel that nice about it," Jinu wouldn't have said this to anyone else. But he was supposed to be honest with him.

"Oh that's too bad, but not unusual," Wally made a note of it. "Wow, I feel professional about this, is this what doctors feel like? Anyway go on."

"I guess....I just don't think  we fit into the world that much," Jinu said, "They've accepted us, mostly, though I think Mira doesn't trust me still... and the others like laughing at me, not knowing how to be normal, but that's just it: I wonder if I ever can be normal again. I wasn't expecting to come back to life and deal with any of this."

"But I'm sure you're not sorry you're alive." 

"No, I glad I'm alive... I mean, I like Rumi, she's... amazing," Jinu said quickly. "And the others are okay...but, I just...I wonder if I'm useful anymore, you know? I was useless in my own time, and it's been 4 centuries and I have no idea how to do anything. I'm dead weight."

"Okay," Wally also made a note of that. "That sounds pretty normal to me, for a guy out of time. I've met a few of those. So...what about facing Gwi-ma, can you tell me about him? Does he still talk to you?"

"I haven't heard his voice since I got free, not like that, anyway. I've heard him speak to other people, but not to me in my head... Why, can he still do that?"

"Maybe but we're waiting to talk about that till later," Wally said. "And speaking to someone is not the same as controlling them, just so you know."

"It feels the same..." Jinu shuddered.

"No, it's different 'cause you can fight back, unlike when he could just call your body and soul back to him at any time. Okay...well, what have they taught you on, and just be as detailed as possible so we see if there's anything we need to go over again."

Jinu went over what he could recall to Wally.

And he had retained a lot of information, he might be the smartest out of the guys, and he had the advantage of not having memory suppression stopping him from recalling a lot of conversations.

Wally seemed pleased with his answers.

"So... do I pass?" Jinu asked finally.

"This isn't a test, dude. Just trying to see where you guys need more information... I'm impressed though, man, you sound like you know a lot about this already. Was some of this what you already knew, though?"

"A lot of it was inference just from being in Gwi-ma's realm myself and seeing how it works," Jinu said. "But it's not knowledge I'm proud of having."

"It's an interesting situation to be in," Wally said. "Since most people can't go there and come back... but it's more like limbo right? Not like death?"

"That's what we think."

"So you have insider information, that's kinda useful. I bet that's helped the girls a little bit," Wally mused. 

"Only a little and I think they still could have been fine without it," Jinu was negative about himself.

"So you push aside your own contributions like that?" Wally said. "I think I see why you feel useless."

Pause.

"I...just think the reason I know this stuff isn't something to be proud of," Jinu said.

"Well...maybe not." Wally shrugged. "But, hey buddy, I gotta tell you, everyone makes mistakes...every single one of us. I think it's amazing to come back from your situation. God is crazy like that, he uses the deepest darkness to bring about changes. So, I think you should be glad in a way...it... sucked, but, you have a gift now, you can help people with what you know. Like, you're other friends, didn't they only try because you had already done it?"

"Well yeah," Jinu said. But... what about everyone else I led to getting killed."

"Not all on your own, though, right?"

"No, but still..."

"And didn't that lead to... or 40,000 people not dying?"

"That was more Rumi than me."

"And who saved her? And helped with those guys, so that's 4 people..so if you count that, you saved 40,004 people, sort of. That's more than you got killed."

"It...well...yes..." Jinu hesitated. "But...still..."

"Still what?"

Pause.

"I spent 400 years not doing anything that was good." Jinu sighed. "Do you just forget something like that?"

"No, that's a long time," Wally shrugged. "I can't say what I'd do if I were you, since I'm not even 40, forget 400, but, I think I'd try to see the positive side of it if I could.  Maybe you had to wait 400 years to be the person to bring Gwi-ma down with Huntrix. I mean he kept you alive all that time, you had your tiger and bird friends to keep you human... To me, that's the grace of God, in a strange way... even if you didn't see that way."

Jinu was silent.

It was a strange way to look at it.

"Morah and Raven said they thought Rumi was a miracle," he said. "Because, being what she is, she was able to turn things around, and give us hope, and, I see what they mean, but she never meant to be evil anyway."

"I don't know, is that really different from you," Wally said, honestly. "Aren't you just what she should have been in she had 400 years instead of 20 to sit with her shame? You can't have been like that at first. Look... bro, comparing yourself to people is a neverending game, because everyone is so different. You have your story, that's all you get."

"Between being a monster and being a man again," Jinu said. "And... I would like to help people."

"Then what are you worried about? The point is to keep moving forward, not to never screw up, since no has pulled that off anyway. You fel pretty far, but if you could leave it at all you weren't really in hell. So cheer up a little." Wally chuckled. "Sorry, was that a little too flippant, huh? I try to look at the bright side, but... uh, yeah I guess it's rough."

"I... well I guess it's nice to hear that," Jinu said. "I'm... I wasn't sure what you would think of us. I know you want to help us, but the way they talked, you both sounded so... righteous. I thought you'd be horrified by our actions."

"I've tried not to be judgy about people," Wally looked up. "I mean, I guess we all can be but, I try to think how I would feel, what would I have done if I were them? Maybe they were trying their best and they just fell short. I've messed up a lot of times too... but you know, I still try. I can't just give up. There's a world out there needs saving, you don't just give up on the world like that."

"I think sometimes one person is more inspiring than the world," Jinu said.

"No, I agree there," Wally said. "Especially since I'm a parent now. I'd used to feel alone, though I had friends, but Shine changed things for me. Even if I started to give up on helping people who aren't  the most grateful always for it, I would never leave her in the lurch like that. So if when I need to get myself in gear, I think of that. and now, I have Grace also. But you need both, you know? A higher purpose and a family you can be yourself with. You have to have a cause to focus on so you don't fight with each other instead. Shine and I almost never fight, takes too much energy to keep the world from going to pot."

He chuckled at that last part.

But Jinu thought he might be more serious than he was kidding. And it made sense... protecting that would help you remember what was really important.

It gave him a lot to think about.

***

"So the honmoon isn't working for you right now, the way it should," Shine was saying, as Rumi described all the events of the past month for her. "Though you repaired the connection with Mira, at least partially...and Zoey doesn't seem to have a problem with it."

"Yes, that's why I'm wondering, is it me?" Rumi said.

"Yes," Shine said without even looking up.

Rumi's stomach got a sick feelige in it.

Shine then looked up and smiled at her. "Don't worry, I don't think that you're doing something wrong."

"Oh...uh then, what is it?" Rumi said.

"I think that's something we should tackle as a group," Shine said. "But, I'll give you a preview. You're looking at it wrong."

"I am?" Rumi said, "but... how..."

"For you, this honmoon is a means to an end. But is that it really? It's just the outward sign of the strength of people's souls? If they are happy or not? It's not your tool, it's your metric. Your reflection of the truth in your world. So, if it's not working for you, reasonably, we can assume that it's because you're not reflecting the truth of yourselves as much as you were before."

"Uh...okay, but what does that mean? We're no longer hiding our flaws."

"Yeah, that's good, but it's not all there is to it," Shine clicked her pen. "I think you didn't fully understand what happened when you sang 'What it Sounds Like'. But it was your first time... For you specifically, I think you need to consider what you've learned lately and ask yourself, does it change how you view the world and your fans?"

"I... it does a little. I mean.. we shouldn't teach people to try to suppress their shame, since it doesn't work. But...how do we help it? I thought it was by being honest, and by being merciful to each other...but is there more to it than that?"

"Always," Shine said. "There are many aspects of it that even I can't possibly understand, but I know some that you're missing. And there are a few obvious problems with your approach. You treat it like something you have to fix...that is not how it works."

"But that's our mantra."

"The Hunter's mantra, yes. And it's good for what it is... but it's not the end all of this matter. Raven and Morph have shown you there is more to this kind of power than just what you do."

"Yes... that...is that... important? I mean... is there power supposed to be tied to what we do? But we've never heard of it before."

"It appears to have been forgotten in your world," Shine mused. "I think they told me that they asked you where the Hunters even come from, and you didn't have an answer. But that it might be a Divine gift. Which is the most reasonable conclusion to draw, really. Don't you think there might be a bit more to it than just the idea of not having shame and not having flaws? No one doesn't have those, but we love them and care for them anyway. We know they get scared, they make wrong choices...yet, there's something so... precious in a human soul, that we will protect it anyway."

Rumi liked that...and it made her thoughtful. "So we're missing that?"

"I think you know it deep down," Shine said. "Based on talking to you and what I know of you...but what I think you have not done is put that into your work openly.  I think 'What it Sounds like was a step closer to it. We'll talk about it when I get you all together. But that's about it for now."

It had been at least half an hour by now.

"Okay," Rumi needed to process this anyway, though she was a bit surprised Shien didn't want to ask her any more. "Well, thank you...and that wasn't at all what I thought it would be."

"I don't know why you thought it would be so bad, did they tell you we were scary or something?"

"Yes...They said you are expert at reading people and knowing how to take them down from that."

"No wonder Mira was scared."

Rumi noted that Shine had known Mira was really scared although Mira had denied it and said Baby was lying.

"So...you weren't fooled by her."

"I'm not stupid," shiena said. "Her stoicness wouldn't really fool anyone who knew people at all. I think she is nervous about this because she thinks we are getting into personal things and that also, we're always talked up to be more scary than we are."

She had it about right.

"You are... good at this." Rumi admitted. "Maybe they were right to say what they did."

"I've barely started  Rumi, so this does not bode well," with a wry tone. "Send Zoey in, thoh will you? I need to drink more tea after that conversation." She pulled out a thermos.

Rumi left and told the other two it had been fine.

"It wasn't scary," she said. "Although... it's weird when she just...seems to know stuff that you thought but never said to anyone, but it wasn't really that unsettling to me. And she just asked me what I thought, so it was fine."

"That doesn't sound better than before," Mira said.

"Oh, I can't wait to try it," Zoey said. "What if she reads my mind too?"

"I don't think it's mind reading Zoey...she drew conclusions with things I never even thought of," Rumi said. "And some interesting stuff about the honmoon..."

She walked to their room.

"The honmoon huh?" Mira muttered.

***

"So Zoey, I understand you got a head injury?" Shine asked her, once they sat down

"Oh yeah, but it's much better now," Zoey said, waving dismissively.

"I heard you still can't focus on any song writing," Shine was not deterred.

"Oh...uh well...yeah," Zoey deflated.

"Not a good sign," Shine mused. "This injury was intentional on the demon's part. They wanted to ruin your ability to create. At least for while... I guess the studio wasn't enough."

"Uh, demons aren't that smart," Zoey said. "Besides, how could they know it would happen twice?"

She winced as her head kind of throbbed.

"Would you say that your inability to contribute has stressed you out?" Shine didn't answer her question. "Made you feel less like part of things?"

"What? That's really personal," Zoey said. "I mean, who are you, Dr. Han?"

Shine gave her a long look.

"I... uh well, maybe it has," Zoey folded under very little pressure. "I mean...just...you know it's rough to not be able to do what I do... and I feel like they're counting on me to make those new songs, and... we have a lot riding on this..."

Unsurprisingly, Zoey was crying before 10 minutes had passed.

Shine had a box of tissues ready and was very nice about it, she didn't push her to talk more until she'd calmed down and gave her a glass of water also and a cool washcloth since crying made Zoey's head hurt   more.

"Let's not push this for now," Shine said, then. "Nothing else can be done till you're in balance again. But you should know, your sense of worth isn't dependent on being able to do things for people. Worth is a gift. We value people because we want to, that's all."

"Oh... uh... sure," Zoey said.

"Hm, well I can't make this more personal without sounding pretentious," Shine said. "We could talk about your family situation if we were closer, but, I won't overstep my bounds."

"Uh... my family?" Zoey aid.

"If you would like to talk to me about it later, you're welcome to," Shine got up. "But you should rest for now, that must have been difficult to talk about at all, and I think I have enough to know what to work on."

"But uh...I didn't really tell you..." Zoey was confused. "I just cried...and talked about my feelings."

"Why did you think I was asking about?" Shine smiled. "If we want to make the honmoon thing work, you all have to work, right? But we are not machines, there is no way to fix them by just pressing a button. I wanted to know what was bothering you but I can't flip a switch in your brain and make it better, all I can do is offer suggestions...those better for once we're done talking to all of you, don't you think?"

"I... don't know," Zoey was still confused. "Am I broken?"

"All of us are Zoey," quietly. "All of us need help. And no one can always be the one trying to lift everyone else up without getting help ourselves. Now I think you were planning to try to help me figure this out right?"

Zoey's mouth dropped open.

"But we are helping you," Shine went on. "So don't worry about it. You can send Mira in whenever she's ready."

Zoey was still dazed but she left after that.

"How was it?" Mira was waiting outside on the stairs.

"I... it was different than I thought, Zoey answered. "And all I did was cry about stuff."

"She made you cry?" Mira was mad already.

"No, I just started up without planning to," Zoey said. "And she said we'd talk about it later because I needed to rest."

She swallowed. "I talked about my head...it's weird... She kinda threw me a little, she said all this stuff about worth and not needing to try to help her because they were helping us...I'm not sure why it meant."

"That's weird," Mira asid.

"She said to send you in if you were ready, I think I need to lie down for a while," Zoey headed away.

Mira swallowed slowly.

***

While Zoey's thing had been going on, Wally was talking to Romance.

"Congrats on finally getting free by the way," he said, at first. "Must have been a good feeling."

"To be honest, there's still so many questions we have," Romance said. "Why did it take me so long? What's with the attacks? Gwi-ma is using more human slaves... and if that wasn't enough to worry about, they seem to be better at using his tricks than the other ones."

"All true, but we're talking about that as a group," Wally said. "Let's talk about you, buddy. How are you dealing with this whole thing?"

It never took much to get Romance to talk about his feelings.

"I still feel lost," he said. "Or memories have not fully returned even now, which is confusing... Morph thinks our brains were damaged by the demon realm somehow, but...then who are we? And will we ever go back to normal? And are we still weak to Gwi-ma? We seem to be...  I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like we lost ourselves when we made the deal, or before it, and now we have not found ourselves again."

"If it helps at all, I think that's normal," Wally said, thoughtfully. "I've known a lot of people who've gone through that over the years, even my Superman friend had an alien force take over his mind so that it made him a tool, and it took a long time for him to heal, but, he took it one person at a time. He was never quite the same after that, but I think I made him a little humbler, also, maybe. I've been mind controlled too, used for evil... I shook it off because I didn't feel like it was me doing it, but, I know...for other people, it felt like it was them. Depends on the kinda mind control really. So, you might feel bad, but, you are not alone, trust me. In the long run, you might be grateful that you got to see it that close up, it gives you an edge.

"Does't feel like an edge. I hate all this, the demon fighting stuff... it's too...insane, really."

"I think no one would blame you if you want to move on," Wally said. "But... there is a chance they need your help, you know. All of you are in this together... At least for now...just think bout it, okay...well can you tell me what you think of Morph and Raven?"

"Oh sure... they've helped us a lot," Romance was more willing to praise them than the others might have been. "And they have been kind to us, in their own way. Morph had tried to encourage me a lot since I was depressed about not getting free... Raven, at least, never made me feel like I was a monster."

"I'm glad, that's what our goal should be. I knew they would be good at this, if they just tried it."

"Yeah, they're not as bad as you might think. I know how they talk about themselves, but, no one one else cared the slightest bit about what we were doing. They never gave up trying to help us and they kept saying that we could and would be free, even though they were affected by Gwi-ma themselves and nearly succumbed. I find that very admirable. And, they showed us compassion where the Hunters would have just killed us."

"So you don't care that they aren't the perfect mentors?"

"I have no idea  what the perfect mentor would look like--Though they think you two are the perfect mentors."

"We're not perfect anyways," Wally said. "I've blown it many times with students... had to apologize and try to start over. I think they think you guys blame them for it more than you really do. But you seem like a mature, understanding kind of guy."

"I'm not that mature. But I have no right to judge anyone else for having doubts and fears... I have so many...I'm the weakest of the Saja boys really, but, they chose to sick by me and that's how I got free. I wish I was more useful to them, really."

"Strength takes different forms, man," Wally said, more gently. "It takes strength to admit your flaws too, and to keep trying even when odds are against you. Don't cut yourself down too much. At least you got this far.  A lot of people never face their demons, they just give into them."

Romance hoped he was right.

* * *

"Mira." Shine waved as she walked in.

Mira looked like a thunder cloud already, and she sat down stiffly.

Shine just looked at her for a solid 10 seconds without speaking.

"What?" Mira said. "Aren't you gonna start asking me things?"

"I think I might learn more from just letting you talk than from asking," Shine replied easily.

"I don't know what you want to hear." Mira was still on edge.

Shine folded her hands, laying the notebook aside.

"You're afraid of me," she stated, not meanly, but in a very soft tone, like she was talking to a child.

Mira still flinched. "No."

Pause.

"You can be honest," Shine then said. "Though I wouldn't blame you if you were not. I would never admit to it if I were you. People scare me too, sometimes."

"You?" Mira scoffed a little, though not really meanly. "Not what I've heard... Aren't you supposed to be this fearless, wise, clever person?"

"This is what they told you, huh?" Shine leaned on her hands. "No wonder... And this isn't helping, is it? Acting all important... This is the fastest way I could do this, Mira, that's all. I didn't mean to make it a big deal..."

"Look, whatever. I agreed to this, so let's just get it over with."

"I will learn nothing from you if you take that attitude about it."

"Oh, so there's a problem with my attitude?" Mira was mad. "Am I being too difficult for you?"

"Not at all." Shine got up and walked around the room a little, fingering some of the books on the tables. "I find you quite easy to understand. You're like a wild horse."

"Huh?"

"Skittish," Shine explained. "Easily startled and ready to either charge in or leave the scene, depending on what suits you at the moment. You fight to the death for whoever earns your love and trust, like a war horse, but you avoid anything else that might be dangerous, like a colt. Perhaps that animal fits you more than a polar bear, though I like the one also."

"See? How are you doing that? You shouldn't know that kind of stuff...like that plushie you sent." Mira finally asked her about this.

"I wondered when you would bring that up. Did you like the note?" Shine turned to look at her appraisingly.

"It was...weird, the way you knew our favorite animals...the way you talk like you know us...but you never met us. The way that you're reading people all the time. And you're just messing with me right now."

Then she realized how rude what she'd just said was and bit her lip.

"So that's what you really think?" Quietly.

"I...it... Well, can you blame me?" Mira didn't have the nerve to eat her words.

"No." Shine shrugged. "I've heard the same thing many times from my own students. My...uh, grand-god students aren't going to be any different, I suppose. I am weird, I know that. But you might forgive me a little bit for it if you remember that I've been to at least 8 different realities, and my mind is divided between them all, in some ways, though I'm grounded here. Do you think I'd act like anyone else?"

She wasn't mad?

Mira had thought that would put her over the edge finally.

"Uh...maybe," she said, uncertainly.

"Most people start to like me after a while." Shine then moved to lean on the back of her chair. "I often get accused of being a spy or a freak on the first day in any world... To be honest, Mira, I had a feeling you would be a bit wary of me and Wally at first. And that's why when I sent the plushie, I said what I said in the note...but I didn't want you to feel like I was leaving you out if I didn't send it. I know Rumi and Zoey would be more okay with it, but would you have wanted to be excluded?"

"I... But how would you know me that well?" Mira was confused. "Just through the letters?"

"No...I feel as if I know you better than them because I think we are very alike in many ways." Simply. 

"I...don't see it." Mira didn't think she was like her. She was...too...something. A lot more easy to talk with for her friends, it seemed like. And way too sure of herself even in a situation like this.

Nothing like Mira.

"No, you wouldn't." Shine wasn't surprised. "I've come farther perhaps, but, at bottom, I'm still a lot like this. I know how I feel inside. I know you don't trust people so easily, right? I'm like that also."

"No, you trust Raven," Mira said. "And I didn't... I still...well, I still have problems with her.  You've heard about it, right?"

"I know you did, but do you think she's a bad teacher?" Shine inquired.

Since the question was not about Mira, she answered honestly.

"I think she's doing her best," she said flatly. "I think she doesn't always know what we need or want to hear."

Shine was silent for a moment. Then she said, "You know, out of those of you I've asked so far, you just gave me by far the best answer."

"I...did?" Mira blinked at her.

"You acknowledged that she's trying, but that she's not always aware of what you need or want," Shine said. "A simple, direct, and fair answer. Not overly encouraging to her, but not overly harsh either. And I won't be repeating it to her. I just wanted to know. I expected you to be the most perceptive out of the eight of you. You're good at reading people, right?"

"I think you knew I said that." Mira narrowed her eyes. "Did you spy on us?"

"Not on purpose. I can't lie to you, and I don't lie anyway...but I won't tell you the full answer. Not because I don't trust you, but because I think it might be too much right now. That's reason enough without adding more to it. I assure you, the means I have are legit and ethical, but that is all I can tell you. I knew you wanted to ask me about this though, and I was worried it might be a deal breaker."

"A deal breaker?"

"I would like you to trust me enough to let me help," Shine said. "And I know being honest with you about that is the only shot I have at it, but I also know that honesty, if it's not complete, is not always enough to establish trust. And I see why it's too confusing for you to want to believe it. It would confuse me also, you see... I'm just used to it after all this time. As a DJ, you adapt to strange things quickly and they stop bothering you, but, people who are used to their own world only, it's...hard to think outside of it. I take you to be a very literal person, which is fine, but it can make it...hard to accept anything outside your realm of experience. Do you see my problem?"

"I...I guess." Mira saw that clearly enough. "But you think I can't help it?"

"Can't? I don't know, you probably could, but do you need to try?" Shine shrugged. "Do you have to take on every hard thing just to be sure it's not a threat?"

Silence.

"That's... I don't like that," Mira said.

"I know." Shine sat back down finally. "I'm cryptic, I know that... Some people find it charming after a while... I can't help it, sorry. Habit of the trade. I'm sure Raven and Morph are already starting to pick it up. Always happens, sooner or later."

"They can be," Mira hedged. "But nothing like you."

"They're new." Shine just laughed.

Then she leaned forward on her hands. "Don't think too hard about it. I'm no different than any of you, at heart. I just talk funny and I know weird things. That's all. Around here, that's nothing. All the telepaths are like that too. So...how can I help you?"

"I don't know. Aren't you supposed to tell me what I need to know?"

"But you already know," Shine replied. "Don't you know better than anyone else what the problems are right now in your world? Just tell me what you've noticed... Look, I will let you decide what to share and what not to. If you think it's dangerous, don't tell me. But you came here for my help, I remind you. So you need to risk telling us something. Or it was pointless."

That actually made sense.

"Fine." Mira crossed her arms. "I guess...well, the truth is, we have no idea what we're doing anymore..."

Funny, once she started, it wasn't that hard to explain it to Shine.

She thought she would question her, but Shine only listened closely and nodded and didn't question her that often.

She stopped to make notes but that was all.

And not many people listened to Mira this long without getting annoyed with her for being negative...

Mira complained about plenty of things that had happened, but Shine never stopped her from doing it.

Finally, she paused herself.

"Aren't you going to ask anything?" she said.

"Why? It sounds like you have a good grasp of it to me." Shine looked up from her notebook. "In fact, I found this to be much more helpful than Rumi was... She's too technical about it."

"I...feel like all I did was complain about how hard it was for a while." Mira realized she'd said more than she intended to.

"Yeah, I found that very helpful."

"What? Because you think I'm a problem?" Mira said.

Shine paused and glanced at her very seriously.

"Mira--" She sounded the closest she'd gotten to upset in this conversation. "--let's get one thing straight right now, and never talk about it again: I will never call anyone a problem. Nor do I look at people as problems. I find that disgusting. We have problems, but we are not problems. Now, if you must know, your having struggles with all this is very helpful for me to hear because it shows the heart of the issue much fast that just discussing problems with the Honmoon and Gwi-Ma will. I can infer how the others act based on it...but I'm not blaming any one person for anything. I'm looking at how all of you are with each other as a unit. I think you can understand that just fine... So, is that okay?"

She softened a little at the end there.

"Uh...yeah...I guess." Mira felt like she'd overreacted now.

"Good." Shine smiled.