I stayed the night. There was too much going on in my head. And I was exhausted, the kind of tired that seeped into bones and left me cold and brittle. Ready to break into tiny fragments at any given moment. I couldn't make a decision then. If I allowed myself the liberty, I probably would have packed a suitcase and booked a flight, leaving everything behind.

Keiko came to check up on me once or twice. I wanted to ask her how Ryder was doing, why he hadn't come to see me yet. Somehow, the words I needed to say remained trapped in my mouth and I asked about Milo instead.

"He's alright. We're going to let him rest up in the holding cell nearby, the one you and Ryder were in," she explained. "It sounds cruel, but he's in no shape to drive and on the other hand, I can't have him in my house like this. Not with my daughter here. Once he's a little healed up and we know he'll be fine on his own, we'll drive him home."

I understood perfectly well and nodded slowly.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Bleak. A little dead. Hopeless. Lost. "I'm doing fine," I assured.

She didn't believe me for a second and it was entirely plain on her face. Thankfully, she didn't push it. she just offered to bring me a plate of food when supper was ready and check in on me in the morning. So, I ate the soup that Ajax prepared alone in my room, on the bed. To be honest, when my arm trembled with the strain of lifting the spoon to my mouth over and over again, I was grateful to be alone. Once a fierce predator, a feared hunter. Now this.

I slept restlessly in the bed that was not my own and when I awoke, I knew it was time to go.

My legs wobbled and complained when I crossed the hall to use the washroom, sitting on the toilet was almost a relief. My arms protested when I brushed my teeth and my core swayed a little. After being propped up with bedding and blankets for months, I suppose that I should have expected this. I should have been able to look in the mirror and see what I had overcome.

Instead, I saw sunken cheeks. Hair that frizzed. Eyes that were tired. Skin hung off my bones with no muscle to support it. I had been a powerhouse. I could have stood in front of a mirror for hours and admired the hard lines of my muscles, the curve of strength when I flexed. When I used to look in the mirror, I saw hours of hard work in the gym, a relentless diet that I seldom strayed from. And purpose.

Now, I was this.

My legs couldn't hold me up for long so I was forced to take my thoughts elsewhere, mostly on just staying upright and moving.

The duffle bag that had been used to move my belongings out of the assisted living community was in the corner of the room I was occupying. Judging by the hand painted lamps and the art on the wall, they wouldn't miss it much. If they could afford to have originals in the guest bedrooms, I knew they could replace the bag. I had to take a couple breaks while packing my simple belongings, but I managed to get most things wrapped up quickly.

"Ajax!" I shouted while leaning against the door frame. He had carted me around for months already, what was one more trip down the stairs. "Ajax!"

But the person who appeared at the top of the steps did not have auburn hair or cunning eyes paired with that knowing arrogant smile. When the warmth that I expected didn't sweep into my system, I doubted my eyes. I couldn't be Ryder if it didn't feel like him. Then I remembered that the mate bond was gone.

"Ajax and Keiko are driving Milo home. They wanted to make sure he got home safe," Ryder said gently. He met my eyes for a brief second then glanced away. "Is there anything I can help with?"

"I want to leave," I stated. "I already packed my bag. I just don't have a car here and I don't even know if I'm capable of driving if I don't trust myself to make it down one flight of stairs."

"Right, yeah, okay," he rambled. There was a pinch of awkwardness as he slipped past me to grab my bag. It was an odd feeling. I didn't know this man. I knew the one who pulled my hair when I asked, who rode mountain bikes and made terrible jokes and ate fabulous food. I didn't know this hair that was a little too wild, the irises not glowing like I thought they should.

"How are you?" I asked when his back was turned to me.

His shoulders jerked together with tension, but he grabbed the duffle bag and hoisted it over his shoulder. When he turned back to me, there was a smile on his face, plastic. "Fine. You're free now. You aren't suffering from wolf drain or whatever that was and you aren't mated to the thing you hate anymore. We are free to go our separate ways and life goes on."

"Ryder—"

"You don't have to make me feel better, George. Sorry, Georgia. This is just how things go sometimes." He strode towards me and extended his arms towards me, moving almost aggressively.

Indeed, this is just how things go for a man who felt like the world had turned its back on him already. His parents were dead. He didn't have a pack and would never have one again. So of course, his mate would also be taken away from him as well.

And I would be going home to an empty house. I would wake up alone, with no one to smile at me, to smooth my hair back from my face. Which made sense. The girl who lost her parents, who was estranged from her own brother, who couldn't carry out a simple task of murder, should wake alone as well. It was the balance of the universe.

I had gotten used to having him around though. I had gotten used to hunting for ways to make him smile, to trying out strange food on the off chance that I might be able to introduce him to something.

"So, the mate bond is completely gone for you?" I wondered when he scooped me up into his arms. There was no magic left, no zing that warmed my soul. But it still felt nice. Safe.

"Yup, nothing left." His voice was robotic.

"Do I look different to you?"

He shifted me as we descended the stairs. "I never noticed that your hair was frizzy."

"I never saw this scar," I murmured, reaching up and tracing the pink line with the tip of my finger.

"Right," he grunted.

"It's not bad," I added quickly. "It's not like you're not handsome to me anymore. It's just different. More real, I guess."

I was plunked in the car. Our hands met briefly when we both reached for the seat belt.

"Sorry." He jerked back as if I had shocked him. "I've just gotten so used to..."

"It's alright. We've had sex. I think it's alright if we hold hands by accident." Right now, I really wanted to hold his hand. I wanted him to give it a little squeeze when he sensed me panicking. Or maybe he could just wrap me in a hug and I could breathe in the smell of his detergent.

But his face flamed red and he drew away so he could sit on the driver's side.

There were leaves on the trees. They were turning orange now. I had been out of myself so long. A spring hunting, a summer falling in love, and now a fall to break apart in. my neck couldn't support my head so I let it fall against the window.

The sobs started slow. A single tear slipping without my permission. Then another. And another. I held my breath through the first few quakes. Then, it got stronger and I let a few loose by accident.

"Georgia?"

The sound of my name on his lips was a knife. My feeble hands were clasped together and pulled over my heart, as if they would protect me from the agony. As if it could turn time back. As if I could see my parents again. As if I could have spoken at their funeral. As if I could have stopped Milo from being hurt, stopped myself from taking the medication. Maybe if I gave Claudette more time. Maybe if I had convinced Ryder not to go to Valemount.

The car stopped moving, pulled over on the gravel. My sobs got louder. The shaking intensified.

"Oh Georgia, come here." The click of a seatbelt being undone. The warmth of arms pulling me against a chest. I crumpled into him.

"My parents are dead," I choked out. "My parents are dead and I couldn't even speak at their funeral. And my brother was there. My fucking brother showed up as if he had a right to be there and I couldn't say anything! I couldn't say anything when you dumped me at Milo's, couldn't say anything when Keiko took me from the home. And it's the fall now. It's fucking autumn. I lost all this time. I lost so many people. And now I'm losing you too."

Fingers tangled in my hair, pressing my cheek to his shoulder. "Georgia, come on now. Being together wasn't good for you. Look at how it ended. We're lucky that the medication didn't kill you. Now, you get to move back to your house, you can have whatever job you want, date whoever you want. This whole werewolf thing can be behind you. You never have to think about us again."

He was trying to be comforting, I knew that, but it tore me in half. "How can I stop?" I cried. "I know this isn't what either of us wanted, but you've been a part of my life for months now. I loved going out to little local restaurants with you. I loved playing video games with you even though you always lost. I loved waking up to your snores and being frozen because you stole the blanket."

"Hey now, you're the one who snores and steals the blankets," he teased.

"Ryder, I love you," I confessed. "I think I loved you before I even thought I could."

"The mate bond—"

"It's gone and there's nothing we can do about it. But it doesn't change how I feel. Maybe we wouldn't have gotten together if there was no bond. Maybe we would have killed each other on sight. But that's not what happened. And even without the mate bond, when I look at you now, I see the guy who wanted to teach me how to mountain bike and cuddled kittens."

Ryder eased back. My gut clenched at the action, even more so when I saw the frown on his face. I had just dumped my feelings into his lap. I had told him I loved him and he was frowning. His thumbs sweeping tears of my cheeks gave me a little hope.

"Look at what happened. You couldn't move, Georgia. You couldn't fucking move. you couldn't talk. You couldn't feed yourself. I can't do that to you again. I can't even think of waking up to you like that again, it makes me feel sick."

"The medication worked."

"It almost killed me! when the bond came out of you, I thought I was going to die. My heart...my chest...I can't even explain it. And what was worse was knowing that you were going through the same thing and there was nothing I can do to stop it."

"The bond is gone," I stated. "We won't have to experience anything like that again. If I get wolf drain again, Claudette will give me her medication. That's it."

"Georgia, you know I can't ask you to do that for me."

"I'm telling you that I want to," I pressed. "But I also understand if, well, my past is too much. I know that it's been a hard reality for you to come to terms with." Now, it was hard for me to come to terms with as well.

Ryder paused then. Grey eyes flickered over my face, taking in the determined set of my gaze and mouth. I couldn't change what had happened, but no matter what occurred after this, at least I could know that I had tried.

"I'm scared, George," Ryder admitted in a whisper. "Seeing you like that, it broke me. And when the mate bond was pulled out, it was awful. I'm terrified that normal attraction and human love won't be enough."

"It is enough," I vowed. "And right now, it's all I have."

~~~Question of the Day~~~

If you were a dog, what breed would you be?

I think I would be a pitbull, short and stubby and a lil mean looking, but pretty nice when treated well!