Ryder was kind enough to untie me at some point. I fell in and out of sleep often. I didn't discriminate between spots. I snored while leaning against a wall or dreamed on top of the bed. Exhaustion was a beast that didn't always care about comfort and I was grateful for that while it lasted. But sleeping could only pass the time for so long. Eventually, I felt too rested to ignore my reality much longer. I was sitting with my back to the wall – my usual spot for the time being as Ryder refused to give up his claim on the bed – and fiddling with a now empty paper cup, glaring at the man who hadn't seemed to move since we got here.

"Are you just going to stare at me until Hades gets here or what?" Ryder confronted.

"I mean, all either of us can really do here is drink water and sleep," I shot back, throwing my damp paper cup at him.

He didn't even blink as it bounced off his knee. It was interesting how I could recall him constantly needing to move before, but now, here, it looked like just existing took effort. It caused something sour to boil within me.

"I can't believe you're the same person from the coffee shop," I hissed through clenched teeth. It was a lie. All of it was a fucking lie. And I had fallen for it, blinded by my need to be wanted. Like I was some god damn damsel.

"Right, you're a dream too," Ryder grumbled.

"You don't even like kittens, for fuck's sake!"

"I'm a werewolf, Georgia! Why would I need a pet when I'm pretty much an oversized dog half the time?"

Christ, it was a blow. I hadn't thought about it, not really. I knew that we were fighting for opposite sides. I knew that the only reason I wasn't dead was because some ancient deity had declared that we were bonded somehow. But I hadn't really thought of him as anything other than a man. Now, I considered what he would look like with the same midnight colour of his hair as a fur coating his whole body and a snout instead of a mouth. I didn't know if it was something gruesome that made my stomach churn or if it was downright comical at this point.

So, I burst out laughing. It was madness, all of it. I was trapped in a cell with a man I now hated, but days ago, he had been my solace. I was a werewolf hunter and had been on the verge of falling in love with the very animal I was supposed to slaughter. And now, given the chance to kill him, I couldn't force myself to raise a blade, to even grab a knife. Hell, I could pretty much picture him as a massive black wolf chasing a little orange kitten.

"What's so funny?" Ryder demanded.

I didn't even care that he must have thought I was losing it. "Just all of this. It's such a god damn mess. If sixteen-year-old me could see me now, she would probably just lay down and die."

"Not exactly the life plan you had for yourself?" he taunted.

"My life back then was very different from what it is now," I confessed, losing a pinch of the hysteria. But it was only replaced by blotches of sadness.

"I can understand that. I never thought I would be here."

"Like trapped in a room with a werewolf hunter or...?"

"I guess that too," he mumbled. "But more than that. I had a normal job before this. You know, one where I wasn't running around cleaning up messes that you and your group left. Back then, I wasn't trying to look widows in the eye when they sobbed or trying to explain to little kids why their mom wasn't coming home."

I let the jab slide, because he was offering something more useful than insults and barbs. He was offering a distraction. And maybe a part of me, a small part, found it comforting to hear his voice, no matter what he was or the topic he was explaining. "What did you used to do?"

"I just got signed on with the bike company Ravine. It felt like my dream job. I got to be in nature on a bike all the time and I got to use my design engineering education. I traveled a lot, which is a little unusual for us, but it was amazing. I was barely three months in when it happened, when my family was killed."'

"I don't think I really had a clue with what I was going to do," I admitted. "Like, I knew what was expected of me. both of my parents were pretty successful. I was considering doing dermatology like my mom. Or maybe following my dad. College was just kind of an expectation in my family, but I don't really think I had a clue of what I was getting myself into. All of the things that I thought mattered back then now seems really insignificant."

"Like what?"

I snorted. "Everything. All those classes that didn't tell me how to place my parents in a home. Those friends that I thought were going to be beside me forever gave up on me as soon as things got hard. It felt like I just had to cancel twice for them to decide I wasn't worth a phone call. I sold the car that I worked so hard to get, taking my dad's Subaru instead."

There was a weight silence and I started to realize what I had said and to who.

"Your parents are still alive, then?"

For once, it wasn't a snide question or a thorny response. His voice sounded closer to what I knew from before. There was a pinch of softness to it.

"It depends on what you consider 'alive'," I reasoned. Though I tried to stop it, the vile things I kept hidden -- even from myself-- came out immediately after. "Sometimes I think that if they were family pets, we would have put them out of their misery by now, you know? I think of what my mom would say if she could see herself, really see what she had become. I think she would want to be taken out of the world peacefully. My dad too, always so sharp and so smart. Now he gets wheeled in front of a television where his day is spent in front of infomercials. I think that they would both feel like a burden and they clearly aren't enjoying their lives. Somedays, I'm not sure they even know they are alive."

"And werewolves did that? You're sure of it?"

"To my parents and countless other people."

Nothing was said for a while after that. Ryder gave up on his seated position and opted for lying down on the bed. I thought he would try and coax himself into sleep, but every time I walked by him, his eyes were open, burning into the ceiling. I just kept my mouth shut and refilled my water cup a little too often. The movement kept me away from my thoughts.

Now that Ryder was no longer offering himself up as a distraction, my mind was racing. This was how I was going to spend my last hours on earth. And this was who I was going to spend them with.

All I could think about was the things I hadn't done, the words I hadn't said. how many trips had I bailed on because something else seemed important, or just because I was tired? How different would my life had been if I made this choice instead of that one? Was anyone going to even notice if I was gone?

Those few days ago – which seemed like forever now – I thought Ryder would be the one to panic over unopened text messages.

But now, the kind nurses would continue to take care of my parents, my brother would probably be thankful I had given up on him, and life would go on. For everyone expect me and Ryder.

The heavy lock slid. I was on the feet just as Ryder was sitting up. The door swung open and there was Keiko with a tray balanced on one hand.

"I brought spaghetti," she announced awkwardly. I knew how she felt. All of the social norms now felt so wrong here. With nowhere else to put her offerings, she set them on the bed beside Ryder.

"Any news?" he asked.

"Hades is on his way," she replied. "Just please don't kill each other with the forks before he gets here, okay?"

Neither of us said anything to that and the queen left that cell as soon as she could.

I could tell her short sentence was weighing heavily on Ryder. He picked at his food. I devoured mine, wishing that this would not be my last meal. I thought of the fine pastries in Paris, the seafood in Spain. But all I really wanted was the meat sauce on plain noodles that my dad always made too much of. Soon, none of it would matter. I would be left to the mercy of Hades.

But suddenly, all I could focus on was the warmth pooling in my belly. 

~~~Distraction Section~~~

Dearest friends, I am sorry for the late update. I went camping for the long weekend and it was fab for the most part. However, one night at 2 am I ended up calling the RCMP for a domestic dispute happening in the campsite next to us. It was really eye-opening to hear and see a couple fight like that, especially in front of their children. Every time I think of those kids crying because of their parents' screaming about STIs and cheating and drug use, my heart breaks. I am not a relationship therapist or expert, but if you are in an abusive or toxic relationship, please get out or seek help or do whatever is reasonable to make yourself and your family safe. We are all deserving of a healthy, happy relationship filled with love and to love ourselves as well.