Chapter 58: Swamp Rumble part 1

Scene showed Everglades city once more, Seth sent Dario there once more to hunt as a start after the New Years celebrations.

He was accompanied by one his girlfriends Peekon, simply because it's where she came from and would be a great asset to scout out trophies in the swamps.

We see the duo as they were having a little coffee and donut break as they were nearby a golf course area.

Dario: Here ya go Peeky, do hope you enjoy.

Peekon: Thanks Dary.

She took her donut and began slowly eating it.

Peekon: These are delicious, you know we should try and make some at home with the others.

Dario: Y'know that actually may not be a bad idea if you ask me. Donuts can be a treat if done correctly.

Peekon: Mhm, they're sweet...Imagine if you were one. *teased*

Dario: Oh you wanna play that game, eh Mrs Bacon~? You know bacon glazed donuts exist.

Peekon: *surprised* Eh? That's absolutely disgusting, imagine mixing sweet, salty and smoky all together.

???: Absolutely not! That has got to be one of the most GOATED donut flavors of all time.

They turned around to see where the voice came from and they saw none other than...

Donald Trump.

Dario: Oh god no...

Peekon: Um who's this?

Trump: What do you mean you don't know who I am? I am Donald Trump, former and soon to be again president of the US, I'm the greatest man to be alive. And here you are saying that you don't recognize the most iconic US president of all time.

Peekon felt uncomfortable and looked away.

Dario: Don't take it hard Mr Trump, she's not much into politics.

Trump: Whatever, back to discussion. Bacon glazed donuts are good for health, the grease is healthy for your blood, that's what my personal nutritionist said.

Dario: Well I like coffee flavoured nut donuts.

Trump: Ew, what are you vegan?

Dario: I'm a hunter, do I really look like I'm vegan?

Trump: You're a hunter? Pft, ha! Got a liscence kid?

Dario showed his liscence to Trump who examined it, Peekon then whispered to the hunter.

Peekon: Why are we standing with this guy? Let's just go and hunt the trophies.

Dario: We could but I wanna stay a bit and watch this guy clown himself as always.

Trump: So...Mr Vasilov-

Dario: Just call me Dario.

Trump: Whatever, your name sounds Russian.

Dario: Dude, I'm not even Russian. I was born here.

Trump: Yeah yeah yeah, since you're born here do you know the American national anthem? If so sing it.

The Americo-Macedonian raised a brow in confusion, Peekon looked dumbfounded.

Peekon: Really? I've known him since childhood to confirm he's American. You know what, former president or not, you're a huge sack of piss. Go back from whatever human thing you were doing, you're wasting our time as it is.

Trump: I will not listen to a peon who-

He was cut off by Dario who put a hand on his chest and started singing the anthem.

Dario: O say can you see by the dawn's early light.
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming .Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight. O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air. Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave. O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Peekon was astonished, Trump clapped as he was impressed.

Trump: Not bad, ok you're American. Welcome to the land of the great patriots and-

He was cut off by a scream from the golf course.

Trump: Goddamit why does everyone interrupt me when I'm talking?!

They turned to see at the golf course there was a white alligator with blue eyes as it emerged from one of the ponds as it yawned.

Trump: A white alligator? Those are rare here in America.

Dario: He's right, it must be a trophy. That description means it's Long Fang, the albino.

Peekon: But what would a trophy do in a human populated area?

Dario: I don't know but let's-

Trump: Step aside losers, watch Donald Rizz Trump tame this wild animal and make it my pet!

He walked to the golf course without any fear.

Dario: Donald, don't'! You'll lose a hand.

Trump: I won't! Even animals need to know to bow when they see greatness aka me.

Peekon: *annoyed* Man I'm sick of this guy.

Dario ushered for her to follow him as they now joined Trump who was on his own little quest to tame the alligator.

Trump: Hey gator, I'm gonna touch you and you're going to let me. Am I understood?

The alligator named Long Fang hissed at Trump. The latter slowly reached his hand towards the reptile only for it to snap its jaws almost catching the hand but Trump pulled away.

Trump: Woah, easy there now partner.

Peekon: Trump, don't you see he's trying to kill you?

Trump: Fake news bitch, he was trying to maybe lick my hand.

Long Fang: You make me sick you lard ass.

Trump: Woah it can talk?!

The alligator then turned around and rushed out of the golf course as fast as he can and entered into a nearby marsh area.

Trump: That animal can talk! We need to get the FBI to investigate this-

Dario: No need for that Trump, because me and Peekon here are specialized in hunting trophies.

Trump: Is that what you call animals that can talk? Trophies?

Peekon: It's not that they can talk, they can also turn into humans.

Trump: WTF?! Are there aliens here in Florida? I mean to be fair Florida is fucked up as it is recently, but still.

Dario: Trump, we're in 2040. Animals have evolved and they developed similar characteristics as humans.

Trump: Is that so hunter? Well let's do a little challenge. You and me go on hunt these trophies you speak of.

Dario: Is that a challenge? Let's make it a bet.

Trump: Alright, if you win I'll swallow my pride and admit you're the better man and give you a million dollars.

Peekon: And if he loses?

Trump: Then he must swear to never hunt again, quit the job and you'll be my new assistant.

Dario: WTF?! That's too big of an ask!

Peekon: Agreed.

Trump: It's either that or your chickens.

He then began mimicking a chicken to taunt them.

Dario got annoyed and just tripped Trump who fell on his ass.

Trump: Ow! You little-

Dario: Challenge accepted, get yourself a rifle and let's do it.

Trump: Alright bitch, you're on!

He then got up and left them alone.

Peekon: Are you sure it's a good idea to accept this.

Dario: I'm gonna have so much fun humiliating this fat cheeto.

The scene changed to the trio as they were now in the Everglades national park where they were having a little stand off.

Trump: Alright as we agreed on earlier, you win and you get a million dollars-

Dario: Make it two million.

Trump: No way Jose you-

Dario: In addition to you, if I lose I'll be your butler.

Trump: Ha! Deal! Get ready to scrape my shoes when you lose bitch! So how many we hunting?

Dario: First to reach 3 trophies wins.

Trump: You're on!

Dario: May the best man win?

They shook hands and pulled away before they went their seperate sides, Peekon followed Dario.

Peekon: I still think this is a bad idea.

Dario: Will you relax, Peekon. That guy is only good at golf and nothing else, I don't see him do anything against these wild ass animals around him. Plus I have you for tracking, in short you're my lucky charm. *wink*

Peekon: *mild blush* Oh you adorable dork!

She kissed his cheek to which the hunter nuzzled her face with his lips.

Unbeknownst to them, they were watched.

Then a figure came out.

???: PEEKON! It's been a while cousin!

They turned around to see a fair skinned man, brown hair, brown eyes and wore blue farmer suspenders that were dirty on the bottom half with swamp water.

Peekon was surprised.

Peekon: Grudo! So nice to see you again!

Dario: He called you cousin?

Peekon: Oh! Dario, this is my cousin and fellow elk Grudo. Grudo meet my human boyfriend, Dario.

Grudo chuckled and extended his hand.

Grudo: I didn't knew my peeky had a thing or two for a human, nonetheless glad to have ya in the family Dario.

The hunter smiled and shook his hand.

Grudo then noticed the rifle on Dario's back and he backed away.

Grudo: Hang on you're with a hunter?!

Peekon: Yeah but he's a nice one, if he was bad I wouldn't be here with you guys and you'd get a bullet, meaning the conversation would never had happen.

Dario: I can ensure you Grudo that since you are related to my gf here, you won't be killed.

Grudo: Golly gee, thanks a lot man.

He then changed into his actual form of being a brown and white colored elk with huge antlers.

Grudo: Cause the human form sucks and I have to be on it 24/7 to wear off hunters.

Peekon: Grudo do you know any other trophies like Long Fang around?

Grudo: Oh yeah I do know more besides him. There's Staffy, Bonehead and Stappy.

Peekon: Speaking of Staffy, how is she?

Grudo: Oh yeah...

Dario: Am I missing something?

Peekon: He is dating a coyote girl named Staffy, we've been friends since childhood with her.

Dario: Oh, and how is it with her?

Grudo embarrassingly chuckled and looked away.

Grudo: Well...we kinda broke up.

Peekon was surprised.

Peekon: Why and how?

Grudo: I wasn't intense that much and I preferred bayou country music than rock.

Dario: Damn...that sucks man...

The scene changed to Trump as he was on his own, traversing in the swamps themselves.

He then saw a yellow and brown colored water buffalo eating some swamp moss.

Trump: Ha! Jackpot, now to bag this trophy and-

The Buffalo turned around.

Bonehead: Who yo calling trophy brotha? The name's Bonehead and don't ya forget it.

Trump: L + ratio + nerd. Who in the right mind would name their kid after an insult.

Bonehead: Ayo? You dare insult my momma for giving me the name I have?! Imma teach you a lesson you won't forget fatman!

The buffalo then stood on its two feet and turned into his human form. He was now a dark skinned man with various tattoos on his face and muscular arms, he had short black hair and wore yellowish and green clothing. He cracked his knuckles.

Trump: *gulped* You don't scare me jackass.

Bonehead: Oh yeah? Why's that?

Trump: Cause one, I'm the greatest man to walk the face of this planet, and two I got this rifle aiming at your dumb numbskull.

He aimed his rifle at Bonehead only for the buffalo to grab the weapon and aimed it upwards.

The shot was heard.

Dario: Seems like Trump got the first kill, which reminds me. I gotta go!

He then ran passed Grudo and Peekon.

Peekon: Hey wait up!

Trump was then crawling on the ground only for Bonehead to pull him by the legs.

Bonehead: Where do you think you're going, orange boy? I thought you said you were the greatest man to walk the face of Earth?

Trump: Let me go or so god I'll turn you into a burger.

Bonehead: Ya. Not happening.

He then swung the former president around before tossing him up in the air before falling down somewhere. The buffalo trophy smirked before running to the direction he threw Trump.

Trump was lying on the swamp water as he slowly got up, but then he heard Bonehead's voice.

Bonehead: Let's play hide n seek, fatso. You hide and I seek hahaha.

Trump: Big mistake pal! I'm a master at this game!

Dario was now traversing through the swamp with Peekon and Grudo following him.

Grudo: Where ya goin' partner? That's where Long Fang lives! He could kill you-

Then they hear punk rock music play nearby.

Peekon: That has got to be Staffy.

Dario: You mean the ex of-

???: Grudo?

They then turned around to see where the voice came from...

To be continued.....

OK guys this was chapter 58.

Peace out!

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