A/N: I’m thinking of changing the HMD cover again. What colors do you think I should use? Any ideas on what the cover should look like (boys, something abstract, something else)? Also, thank you to seawaneka, KMyung, Hazel_Tree, purple_taco and bcav1211 for thinking up questions and challenges!

*****

Nathaniel’s POV

“My next question…” Hunter was looking me straight in the eyes. “Why did you break up with Irene?”

“Because… Because one day we’ll move again, and she’s a nice girl, and I didn’t want to hurt her so it was best to end it before we got too serious,” I told him the same excuse I’d given her. It was partly true. ‘But also, I might be starting to develop feelings for you’ – that I would not say out loud. I didn’t even want to think about it. What would my parents say if they knew? Mom would probably have a nervous breakdown. I might follow. I would probably go out of my mind too; I would feel guilty for that happening to her.

“Aha,” he muttered, but he did not look convinced. Did he know what I’d just been thinking about? Could he suspect?

I moved away from his desk and leaned on the table with Raph’s aquarium on to put some distance between us. To be on the safe side, I crossed my arms in front of my chest, placing my hands below my armpits; I didn’t want him to see them shake.

“Were you ever in a gang?” I shot out do distract him – and myself – from the other reason I had for breaking it off with Irene.

“Yes,” he replied calmly and his unperturbed face didn’t change when I gaped at him wide-eyed. I opened my mouth, but he hushed me. “We are taking turns, remember?” He made a brief pause then asked: “Do I frighten you more now?”

“No,” I uttered quietly a minute or so later. Even if he had been in a gang, he was still the same Hunter; just the knowledge of that didn’t change anything. Maybe if he replied with yes to my other questions…

“Have you ever done anything naughty? Vegas excluded,” he added and I lowered. I hoped he didn’t ask any more questions about that place or what happened to us there.

“Not really.” I shifted my weight to my other leg. “But you already knew that.”

“I guessed as much,” he replied, nodding. “Then again you live with Vallery so…” He trailed off.

“Have you ever stolen anything?”

Please say no!

“Several times.”

I shook my head. Once again, he completely lacked remorse. What kind of life had he led before not to care about this? It wasn’t only illegal; it was immoral. I wanted to ask him if he ever regretted that, but I was running out of questions; I only had half of my limit left.

He was chewing his lip now. Not biting it while smirking sexily like he would do when he teased me; chewing. I wondered if he didn’t know what to ask next because he didn’t care or whether – like me – he was counting how many inquiries he had left and was choosing which were more important so he could save the rest for another time.

Was there ever going to be another time like this?

“What do you want to do with your life?” He finally spoke and I did something like a shrug, but with lifting only one of my shoulders.

“Mom wants me to be a doctor and dad…”

Hunter sighed and got up. He walked towards me until we were one step apart. I leaned further back, but there was only so far that I could move.

“I said you,” he emphasized the last word. “What do you want to do with your life?”

“I want to write,” I replied as if it was the most obvious thing. I had, after all, told him that before. Or had he forgotten already?

“I know that, but that’s about your career,” he pointed out. “What about the rest of your life? The other aspects?”

“I don’t know, Hunter; what do you want to do with your life?” I retorted. “Do you have any sort of a plan or anything?”

Did that count as one question or two?

Were we even counting anymore?

“Don’t have a clue,” he admitted. “But I know what I don’t want to do so at least I have some idea.”

“And what don’t you want to do, Hunter?”

He didn’t object against the question, he didn’t hush me to say it was his turn. Obviously, we were done counting. The game was over and now we were just chatting. Perhaps that was not the most appropriate verb to describe our conversation with. ‘Chatting’ sounded too casual, too carefree; we were talking on serious topics and even though Hunter seemed calm, I was starting to get defensive.

I didn’t want him to ask such private things because once he did, I would have to think about them; even if I don’t reply, I would think about them.

It wasn’t that I had no clue what I wanted; it was just that my personal desires were at conflict with people’s expectations of me. Maybe not Vallery’s expectations… Well, definitely not Vallery’s, but everyone else’s. Mom wanted something else for me, dad wanted something else from me, Great Aunt Sarah too, and all of our relatives. Why were they all so fixed upon me?

Was it somehow my fault?

Because I constantly tried to please them?

Or because I had always been the good boy?

In that sense, Vallery had much more freedom than me. She didn’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations simply because no one expected anything great from her. That sounded awful and I often got angry at my relations for treating her that way, but at the same time I envied her.

I envied my sister because she was free and even though at times I hated myself for my need to please everyone, I could never get over it; I could never stop caring about what others thought of me and how they saw me.

My breathing had become ragged and I realized my hands were trembling. My fisted hands were trembling.

“Go sit down; I’ll bring you some water,” Hunt muttered and left the room.

I did as I was told. I climbed into his bed, my back against the headrest and I brought my knees to my chest. I wrapped my arms around them and stared before me, not looking at anything in particular; I was thinking. My mind was focused on the same things that I wanted to avoid but due to Hunter’s game I could not seem to distract myself from them.

I should’ve known that something like this would happen, that even with a list of don’t-asks, one of us would hit a tender spot.

Hunter should’ve guessed it too. Or perhaps he had; perhaps that had been his plan all along. Not to hurt me, but to make me think about myself. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s done that. Asking me what I wanted. But what did he hope to gain by that?

What was in it for him?

The door closed lightly but I didn’t look his way, I just kept staring right ahead.

“Here.” A glass of water and the hand that held it entered my line of vision. I unwrapped my right hand from my legs and took what he had to offer, giving him a nod before I drank. I gulped it loudly, all at once, and then gave him back the glass.

“Thanks,” I murmured, still not looking at him.

I heard the tap of the glass as it met the wooden surface of a nightstand. Hunter’s index finger and thumb grasped my chin and turned my head towards him.

He didn’t speak; he just looked at me, patiently waiting for my reaction. I couldn’t tell what exactly was going on in his mind. He didn’t look angry, or annoyed, or cocky, or flirty… He didn’t betray any emotion or feeling. At least not with his face; the grip on my chin was gentle.

“Sorry, about… This.” I concluded vaguely as I didn’t know what had happened to me. I’d felt angry, but I wasn’t sure why. No, I didn’t have control over my life and yes, some choices were made for me, but it’s always been that way. So why had I reacted so strongly tonight?

Was it Hunter’s presence?

Because I didn’t want to appear weak in front of him?

Probably.

Something resembling a laugh, but far from merry, left my mouth.

Hunter Harris wanted me to think about myself and ignore what others thought of me, yet I had apparently placed him on the list with people about whose opinions I cared about. And one of the reasons was exactly because he wanted me to live my own life, free from the restraints of my family.

“Did you plan to do this?” I asked quietly. He still held my chin. I should probably back away or push his hand, but I didn’t feel like it tonight.

“To upset you? No.” He spoke just as lowly as his grey eyes bore into my brown ones. “I wanted us to get to know each other and to get you to know yourself. Or at least to admit some things to yourself.”

“And what things might that be?”

“Whatever you consciously stray your thoughts from, you’re thinking about it now.”

“And you have no idea what that might be?” I tilted my head to the side and he retracted his hand.

“I have some ideas. But I don’t think you are ready to share yet so I’ll keep them to myself for now.”

“For now?” I repeated.

“For not much longer.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. What did he mean by that? As if he’d heard my musings, he went on:

“There are some things you have to admit to yourself first and then to others. Just don’t take too long or you’ll run out of people who are willing to listen once you are ready.”

That was when it hit me: Hunter did know the other reason why I broke up with Irene. He knew that I felt something for him; he knew that even if I was confused and scared, that something was there. And he’d just told me that he’d given me time to realize that, but he wouldn’t wait forever for me to decide whether I wanted to act out on that something or keep it in the back of my mind along with my dreams of freedom and writing.

“I have to go now,” I croaked out, jumping off his bed. In my heist to get to the door, I bumped my shoulder in his and almost stepped on Raph. “It’s late and…”

“Just think about this,” his voice cut me off as I reached for the door handle. I turned sideways to look at him. “You don’t have to reply to me, but think about it for yourself. On your first day in school, you showed me courage when you stood up for Val; where is that bravery when you have to stand up for yourself?”

I walked out without a word, slamming the door behind me.

*****

A/N: Phew! The chapter’s done and on time. I was without Internet for a while so I was afraid I might not be able to post it when I promised but here it is and I really hope you enjoyed this new development in their relationship.

As always, thanks for reading and please support the chapter with a vote! I’d love to hear what you have to say about it so leave a comment, maybe?

Hunter has just told Nat that he wouldn’t wait forever and that if the boy wanted something with him, he should act upon that desire soon. Do you think that’s unfair to Nat, giving him a time limit?

Or would it be unfair to Hunter to just patiently wait for a boy who is too scared to get what he wants?

Have a great time wattpading, everyone!