Nathaniel’s POV

I could never understand what the big deal with kissing was.

I got holding hands and I got hugging; they felt nice. Being close to another human being felt nice. But kissing on the mouth had a very different connotation.

It wasn’t only with Irene; it had been the same with every girl I’d ever kissed. At first it was okay, sometimes even pleasant, but after a while it just got boring; our mouths were repeating the exact same movements, another person’s saliva was all over my mouth and I never knew what to do with my hands.

Should I put them on the girl’s waist, around her neck, what?

And what if after a few kisses, she decided she wanted more?

Kissing had never been a turn on for me. On the contrary, it made me nervous, reluctant even, and I always found myself plotting some way to get out of the situation. Actually, one of my longest relationships lasted because the girl I’d been dating had a bunch of younger siblings who always interrupted us; to her annoyance and to my relief.

So now I wasn’t thinking of a way to push Irene off because of Irene herself; it was just that she’d been in my lap, kissing me for minutes.

I pondered on telling her we had school in the morning so we should call it a night, but she was at my house and it would sound as if I was trying to kick her out; I could’ve told her that I’d gotten hungry and got myself down to the kitchen for some snacks, but once eaten, she could resume her smooch attack; I could’ve told her I had an assignment to finish due tomorrow but I’d already informed her that I’ve done all my homework…

She let out a breathy moan and I knew I had to stop her now or she would no longer be satisfied with making out.

I placed my hands on both sides of her waist and pushed her away.

“I have to use the bathroom,” I mumbled, getting off the chair and heading for said room.

So far, so good, I thought as I splashed my face with water, not bothering to dry it with a towel afterwards.

I examined my face in the mirror; what a cliché, looking at yourself in that reflective surface while contemplating on the events in your life!

True, a cliché, but I had no make sure I appeared… normal.

Teenage boys didn’t find making out with teenage girls annoying; they didn’t see it as a chore which they had to put up with once in a relationship; teenage boys disliked sentimental kisses on the forehead let’s say, but enjoyed making out; teenage boys found that a turn on.

Was I somehow too damaged to see the appeal in that?

Maybe I was asexual; it would explain why I had never gone further than kissing. It would not explain Hunter Harris though.

With a sigh, I turned around and leaned my back on the sink.

Hunter did not turn me on to the extent of making me hard but my body certainly reacted to him. Blushing, an irregular heart beat and breathing rate were the least of my problems; it was the tremors and the little jolts of electricity that were troubling me. When a person startled, it was as if something in jumped inside their chest; a similar, startling, yet not unpleasant jounce was what I’d felt at his touch last Saturday.

It had started around the middle of my chest, where the heart was, then the feeling had spread to the point where I could feel tingles at the top of the fingers of my shaking hands. It was a new sensation, one I did not know how to interpret, but I was sure it was one which I should not experience with a member of my gender. It had alarmed me to the point that I’d called my girlfriend and arranged to meet her that evening and the following evening, and the evening after that… All evenings until today, Wednesday.

It seemed as if the closer Hunter got to me, the closer I tried to get to Irene. Was I using her?

No. I liked her and I had not lied to her about that; I had not lied to myself about that.

She was safe and kind, and caring, a good person through and through; the type of person I thought that I would want by my side; the type of person who had not been to jail, who would never associate themselves with a gang and who did not scare me. She was the correct type of person for me; we had similar views and interests and people said we were a good match.

Hunter Harris was secretive, someone I could not completely comprehend and someone I would never manage to; we had nothing in common, he was a guy and most importantly, I did not trust myself around him. When he was near, my body reacted however it pleased and despite of my clear judgment; as much of a clear judgment that I could have when it came to him.

He was the reason why I would do things out of character and why my thoughts were always jumbled lately. A part of me wanted to avoid him forever because of that and another couldn’t imagine more than a few days without him. In the end, I’d told myself that if I were to get used to Hunter Harris, I would have to spend more time with him and the two parts had consented; if I were to be calm in his presence, part one would not have reasons to worry and part two would be pleased to keep his company.

But even though I had made up my mind about that, I’d been avoiding him for days. I’d never been such a coward as I was around him; yes, I was painfully conscious about my parents’ opinion of me and I always wondered what they’d think if I were to do this or that, but that was a whole other type of apprehension.

I shook my head and returned to the bedroom, remembering Irene was there only when she spoke up:

“Are you alright, Nat? You were in there for so long that I was starting to get worried.”

“Sorry about that; I’m fine,” I replied then looked at the time on my phone so as not to face her.

“You know, I still have no idea what to get you for your birthday,” she admitted out of the blue and I turned my gaze towards her.

“You don’t have to get me anything,” I protested.

“Of course I do; I’m your girlfriend.” Irene got off the chair and wrapped her arms around my neck. She gave me a peck before she went on with a smile: “We can host your party at our restaurant. I’ll tell mom to…”

“I’m not celebrating,” I cut her off and her arms fell to her sides.

“Why not?”

“You know I’m not much into parties,” I shrugged and added in my mind: besides, who am I to invite? She seemed disappointed at the news so I decided to cheer her up. “I’ll be having dinner with Val, mom and dad that night but we can go for coffee and pastries together, just the two of us.”

Her face instantly lit up and her arms were once more around my neck.

“I’d really like that,” she said, closing her eyes and lifting herself on her tiptoes, her lips coming closer to mine.

Not that again!

I almost grinned when her phone rang, the ringtone signaling it was her mother who called.

“Yes?” Irene asked into the receiver. “Already? I didn’t know it was that late… Yeah, I’ll be at the restaurant in maybe half an hour… Love you too!” She swiped the screen on her mobile, ending the call. “I have to go now, sorry,” she said, this time to me. “Time really flies when I’m with you.” Her cheeks got a reddish hue and she tightened the end of her braid.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” I offered and the two of us left my room and almost managed to get out of the house unnoticed. Almost.

“Oh, sweetie, leaving so soon?” Mom asked with a pout as Irene was donning her coat on.

“It’s a school night, Lydia,” my girlfriend commented, putting her top button in its affiliated hole.

My mom smiled at the address; she always made sure all of my girlfriends called her by her first name and she went out of her way to befriend them. She would often praise them while we were an item but if we were to split up over something the girl had done, said girl would immediately be labeled as “unreliable”, “silly”, “without a class” and someone my mother “had never really liked”. I wondered if that was what one day awaited Irene although she seemed to be mom’s favorite for me.

“Such a thoughtful girl,” my mom praised, clapping her hands. “That is why you and my Nathaniel are so good together.”

“Thank you, Lydia,” Irene replied and gave my mom a hug before walking out of the front door with me in tow.

“Well,” she began once we were alone in the yard. “See you tomorrow at school I guess.”

“Yeah, see you then.”

I leaned in to peck her on the lips; it was easier to end the kiss if I was the one who’d initiated it. Just a couple of seconds later, I straightened up and bid her goodbye, perhaps too hastily not to come out as rude. She tried to mask her sulk with a smile and waved at me. I stood in outside, watching her disappear after turning a corner.

“Do you realize you actually seem relieved to see her go?”

I didn’t need to turn around to know he had a smirk on his face. As I pondered on how to deny his accusation, he went on talking:

“And that was a lousy farewell kiss,” Hunter added and this time I turned to face him. He was standing next to the rose bushes, his hands in his pockets and his feet apart, and my assumption had been correct: the left corner of his lips was up.

“I don’t enjoy public displays of affection,” I replied, walking towards him but stopped a few feet away, out of arm’s reach.

“Maybe you just don’t have the right partner for PDA,” he put in casually.

“You mean a partner like you,” I worded what I thought was on his mind.

“Is that a proposal, Natty?”

“Of course not,” I renounced, looking at the bushes; there were no roses and the leaves which had not fallen were either brown or getting pretty close to that color.

“‘Cause I can show you a thing or two,” he kept teasing and I turned around.

“Good night, Hunter,” I uttered flatly, ending our conversation or so I thought.

“You know where to find me if you change your mind, Natty,” he shouted after me, but I still didn’t look at him.

Hunter Harris and I were never, ever, doing anything that could be even loosely summed up as PDA; not if I had a say in it. I groaned as I realized that when it came to Hunter and me, it was very likely that he would have the final word.

*****

A/N: So, any thought on the chapter?

How do YOU feel about kissing?

Do you share Nat’s opinion?

Or maybe it depends on the partner…

VOTE if you enjoyed the chapter and have a great time wattpading, everyone!

Love,

CatMint5