(Tom's POV)

Ohshitohshitohshit. The commie touched my horns. And I bit him in the neck like a bloodthirsty vampire.
"Don't forget you enjoyed every second of him petting you," Yeah, that too. My enemy was petting me. And I liked it.
"Yet you paid him back by biting him. You're not worth any affection people give."
No, I'm not
"That's right. Worries wasted on you, when they have much more important things to think about,"
They do, yet they decide that I have enough worth to think about. Their resources are wasted on someone as useless as me. They may waste their worries, but they don't worry enough to see that you are here.
"If they did, they still wouldn't do a thing. They don't care about your inane problems, they just worry so they don't have to clean your messes up," Kov chuckles.
"Oh, everything is about you, isn't it? You're so selfish. Locking yourself up, not accepting their help, and pushing them away,"
I am selfish. I'm so selfish. I cry over no sleep, which is something I can control, and they are concerned. They don't love me. They shouldn't. They shouldn't care. I should stop being such a burden.

I roll out from under the bed and look at the mirror. There, Kov is staring back at me. I sigh and look for my phone. I've added more to my list of staying-awake techniques.

3. Don't each too much.
Eating makes me drowsy. Drowsiness leads to sleep.
4. Pain.
Now this one, I haven't done yet. I'm afraid of doing it. I know if I cause too much pain to myself, I'll pass out. With just the right amount though, the adrenaline should be enough to keep me awake. It's just a theory, anyway.
5. Think about trauma.
Oh boy, this...this hurts me mentally. Obviously. I think back to the worst memories of my life. Me seeing my pineapple dad explode right in front of me from a bear with a shotgun. My stepdad abusing me in a drunken state. My bowling ball mom committing suicide by rolling off of a cliff. It's not the greatest method, but I'll do anything to prevent more killings by Kov.

"Well, I mean, sometimes it's you killing," Kov said nonchalantly.
"What...?"
"A few times when I've been 'in charge' you take partial control. Yet when you're also controlling, you help me with the victims. Helped me hide the bodies," Kov explained. "Your knowledge of human weaknesses was very helpful by the way,"

"I don't...remember?" I questioned. Now that I think of it, when I first threw up blood, I got flashes of memories from the previous night. Does that mean I actually killed them? Or was I too drunk to realize what was happening?

Kov stays silent, letting me wallow in my self guilt. I bring my knees up to my chin and hold them with my arms. Those people that died probably had families and people who cared. Then I came along and took it all away for my own pleasure.

I'm selfish. I'm terrible. I'm a monster. Hot tears start to flow out of my eye sockets, staining my clothing. I bring one of my hands up and touch a tear. Looking back at my hand, my tears are black and sticky. The strange substance still tracing from my cheek and stuck on my hand. I'm a freak. I start to sob quietly, my breathing hitching every few minutes. The sobs wracking my body. I run my hand through my hair, not feeling the horns anymore. I hold onto my legs again. I'm worthless. A waste of space.

I get up slowly, tears still dripping on my face. I don't bother wiping them off. They'll come back anyways. I walk up to my door, looking around the hallway before making my way to the kitchen. Tord's not here. Probably went to Edd's apartment. Who'd want to stay around a depressing mess like me? I reach for a knife, the sleek black handle open for the taking. I pull it out of it's holder and head to the bathroom. I click the lights on and close the door, locking it in case Tord actually does come back. Oh, who am I kidding? Why would he want to come back to me?

I slid down the door, leaning on it while examining the knife. The sharp edge gleamed under the fluorescent light, making me crave the blade dragging across me. Haha, what.
"Oh wow, you didn't strike me as the type to be a masochist, Tommy..." Kov commented with a hint of surprise. "With you as a masochist and me, a sadist, we create one whole psychopath," he said in a joking tone.
"Shut it, asshole," he giggles and stopped talking. I sigh, I'm not doing this today. I go out, not even caring anymore if Tord was there. I return the knife to it's proper place. I'm feeling slightly less depressed. At least I think I am. Maybe I'll go out today.