(Tom's POV)

I wake up, but I keep my 'eyes' shut. I can see the sun shining through my eyelids, the blotches of red and yellow spotting over my vision. Muffled voices. An accented one particularly sticking out.

"Very observant of you, Tommy."
Thanks, I know.

"Tom hasn't been sleeping?!" I hear the familiar voice of my green-hoodied best friend. A sigh slips through someone's lips.
"No, he hasn't for around...a month?" The accented voice I now recognize as Tord answers questionably. I internally groan. Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, I do not want to face Edd now that he knows.

"With a chainsaw? That's a new low, even for you."
Whatever do you mean?
"...treehugger,"
tHAT WAS ONE FUCKING TIME!
"Yes, it really was,"

I shift slightly on what I assume is a couch. Or a bed. It's cushion-y. It smells weird. Like a mix of cola and heavy makeup— wait, is this Edd and Matt's bed? When were they a thing?

I snuggle a bit into the soft mattress as I eavesdrop on the other two's conversation.
"What- why has he been doing this? Is he an insomniac or something?"
"I have no clue. He's been actively refusing sleep. It's strange considering how he used to sleep for an entire day." Tord explains with a huff. Judging by how loud their voices are, they are either a few feet away from me, or right next to me. Probably the former.

"Right you are! You're getting better at this,"
Wow, a compliment from you. I'm honored.
"You should be, these are probably the only compliments you get."
Aaand back to the depressing thoughts. Fantastic.
"You thought I was going to stay nice? How naive,"

I let out a small huff, the other two immediately pausing their conversation.
"Tom? You awake?" Edd asks, unsure. I grumble in response, my nice, peaceful time of lazing around being interrupted. I feel a cold finger poke at my cheek. I weakly swat at whoever's hand dare poke me.

A small chuckle and I crack my 'eye' open, just a bit. I see the silhouette of two horns hanging over me. Out of instinct, I slap it as hard as I can.
"Ow! Why?!" Tord exclaims. I open my 'eyes' completely.
"Oops." I respond dryly. I sit up, tilting my head around from its sore position.

A small moment of silence passes.
"So, Tom." Edd starts off. Oh boy, already know what he's going to talk about.
"What's this about you not sleeping?" He says in a fake innocent and curious voice. His eyes tell a completely different story though.

"I'm staying up late to...buy more guns?(shh...I'm slightly basing this on Tomska/DarkSquidge's YouTube vid about guns)" I ask more than answer. Edd looks angrier, but still with a smile. Tord looks at me in slight disbelief.
"It doesn't take that long to buy them, Tom." Edd says through gritted teeth, growling my name. Fuck.

"Why do you care? I'm fine," I ask, a bit peeved.
"He probably cares because it's affecting your health!" Tord exclaims.
"And since when did you care about my health?!" I growl at him in anger as I stand up.
"We all care about your fucking health! You just won't let us help!" Edd yells at me. I glare at him. My 'eyes' feel hot. I better not be crying.

"Maybe I don't want your help! I can do fine on my own!" I don't want to be a burden.
"No, you obviously can't! You had a panic attack a few hours ago, and nightmares that still...haunt you when you're awake. You need help!" My 'eyes' are burning now, but I don't feel tears on my face. I shut them in an attempt to stop the burn. Doesn't work. Fucking weak.

I open them again and my vision is tinted purple. I expected to see red.
Edd jumps back, startled. Tord looks terrified.
"What the fuck are you looking at?" I snarl at them angrily. Monster.

I storm out the apartment, not looking back. I need to cool off. Kov isn't even here anymore. I'm alone. I'm alone and I want to forget.

To the bar we go.

I keep my eyes squinted as I walk down to a bar, waiting for the lingering burning sensation to go away. I focus on my surroundings. Counting how many dead leaves are on the ground, how many dogs pass by. A trick I learned myself to calm down.

I see a small run-down bar enter my sight. A different one than before. I shrug to myself before going in. It's dark, not too many people either. Quiet as well. I seat myself at a bar stool and wait for the bartender to come. I lay my head on the bar.

"Hello, sir. Welcome to...this bar. What would you like to forget?" An apathetic female voice asks. I glance at her name tag. I can't fucking read.

"Oh, uh, can I have a bottle of Smirnoff?" I ask. She nods and walks away. A few moments later, a tall glass bottle is placed in front of me.
"Have fun," The bartender says before leaving. I don't hesitate to pop the lid off and take a large gulp. The soothing cool yet burning liquid slips down my throat, making my insides feel warm and fuzzy. Oh, how I've missed alcohol!

Gulp after gulp, borderline chugging. I almost finish the bottle in 5 minutes. The small amount of vodka left sloshes around in the bottle. I finish it off in one quick sip and slam the glass bottle onto the wood counter.
"A-another one p-please!" I stutter out. Man, my alcohol tolerance has gone down, hasn't it? The bartender lady- person- comes back with another bottle. I smile lazily and thank her with a nod.

Second bottle in, I'm about to pass out. My 'eyes' droop as I struggle to stay awake. I want one more bottle at least! But alas, my body disagrees.

Aand...off to sleep we go!~