Of course my suit was bullet proof. Cinna would never leave anything to chance, since he was still betting on me. I was laid up in yet another hospital bed when the curtain was pulled back, causing me to jump. It was Johanna.

"Well there she is. The Mockingjay." She said mockingly then sighed

"Oh, that Speech you gave. Oh, man, feel...." she made me feel her arm as she sat next to me on the bed "I still have goose bumps. She then lifted my arm and took my iv out.

"You don't mint do you? They cut off my supply of morphling. There's this head doctor that comes in and sees me everyday , trying to help me to adjust to reality. Like some guy from rabbits warren actually knows anything about my reality." She breathes in relief as the morphling starts to kick in. "At least 20 times a session he tells me that I'm totally safe. Safe from the Capitol, Safe from Snow. What about you Mockingjay, feeling totally safe?"

"Till I got shot." I replied

"Oh please. The bullet didn't even touch you. Cinna saw to that. Of course your costume would be bullet proof. So what are your injuries." She looked at my arm

"Bruised ribs, bruised lung." I answered

"I'm surprised they haven't found you a new lung. I have two, you want one of mine? I mean it's everybody's job to keep you alive." She rambled sarcastically. I pushed myself to sit up in the bed. It was a bad idea as soon as I moved because my supply of painkillers was now with Johanna.

"Is that why you hate me?"

"I don't hate you I just find you hard to swallow. That your emotions are like ever-changing weather. Pick one and be done with already, especially the romance drama. Feel free to take any of this personally."

"You should have been the Mockingjay. Nobody would tell you what to say."

"But nobody likes me." She picked up the picture of my father and looked at it "They're afraid of you."

"Maybe here, but in the Capitol you're the only thing that they're scared of" She put the picture down and picked up Peeta's medallion

"Just things my family brought." I told her as she took the pictures of my family and friends out. Putting that back she picked up Peeta's pearl

"It's from Peeta."

"Yeah." I took it off from here and stared rubbing it between my fingers.

"They messed us up pretty good didn't they?"

"Yeah they did. But believe me, now more than ever I'm not letting them walk all over me this time." I stared at her defiantly

"Again with the emotions. Pick one."

"I did. The moment you hacked the tracker out of me and i was rescued when You and the others were left behind. Defiance is my emotion. Everything else right now is background noise." she nodded pleased with my answer not that i cared right this second.

-------

My bruises were being wrapped up in bandages with a herbal paste underneath to accelerate the heeling while Haymitch talked to me about Peeta.

"We showed him the footage of your speech from 2. He had real memories of you." he informed me. They were wanting me to go in and talk with him. After seeing how he was with his father, I knew Peeta wasn't well enough yet to even face me. For everyones sakes I couldn't get hurt again. Now when i needed to help win this war.

"That still doesn't mean I'm going in there. I saw how he reacted in the end towards his own father."

"He's strapped down. He can't hurt you."

"No, This is different. Haymitch I can't. He's not ready and i'm not ready."

"It doesn't matter what you want. It's for Peeta. What is the harm in trying just once?" I sighed he was right, I went on and on about bringing the old Peeta back. How could he if I didn't do my part.

"Okay." Once I was all bandaged up. They buzzed me into Peeta's solitary room. The walls were pristine white and his bed was the only thing in the room which was smack bang in the middle. I straightened my shirt and wrapped the warm cardigan around me. I met his eyes and they followed me as I stood in front of his bed.

"I watched you die. You look terrible." he spoke they first unhopeful words to me since he was rescued.

"You've looked better." I bit my lip holing onto the bottom of the bed, being close but keeping enough distance not to set him off.

"You're not remotely nice to say that to me now." he snipped

"I was hardly the nice one, you were. I'm the one with the attitude and the issues."

"When I saw you die, I remembered something. About you. I remember the rain and you lying there helpless. I picked up up and took you to shelter. Helped you back to health then snuck you some bread for your family." I felt the hope rise with in me

"That was the first I had eaten in over a week."

"Why would I do that for you?" he questioned

"Because you were kind and generous...and you loved me " I answered with a small smile remembering, when i needed someone the most he was always there even if it was just to give a smile of reassurance.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes. That's why Snow tortured you. To hurt me." I replied

"Snow says that everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie. All I know is that would have saved myself a lot of suffering, if I had have just left you in that damn rain." I gripped the edge of the bed as I stared into his eyes.

"I know you can't stand the sight of me right now. And if those restraints weren't there I have no doubt you'd have any qualms about killing me. But I also know something else." I moved around to the side of him become either more stupid or more brave.

"Oh yeah and what's that."

"While I have been, struck, strangled and shot. You're the only thing that's kept me fighting for what needs to be done. Every day since that arrow, I've wished more that 100 times I never left you. Numerous times I've questioned why you fell in love with me and all you simply said was 'because I see something no one else does' And even though we both know we never wanted this war, it's happening. So I'll make something abundantly clear to you. You've been hijacked what you see and feel about me right now is not real. One day you will get better and I will never stop fighting for that. In sickness and in health, remember." I walked out of the room leaving him to think about that.

I left and headed for the conference room, I was meeting Coin and Plutarch to see what the next step would be in this fight, I was now determined to help win.

"I think the only thing left to say is thank you." Coin told me I shifted slightly holding my stomach.

"I need to be in the Capitol." I told her. I wasn't going to give up, not until this thing ended or it was my last breath.

"No, you have done your job. You have been very successful as the Mockingjay. You've unified the districts. And now we want you to rest. And to heal" Excuse me, rest, how could I rest when Snow was still out there, when this war hadn't even finished?

"The last the rebels saw me, I was lying on the ground."

"Lily, we won't let this moment go to waste. We'll shoot more propo's here in 13, showing that your alive." Plutarch voiced

"We tried that. It didn't work. I should be with the troops." I retorted, something had changed clearly and if I didn't completely trust her before, it was even less now. I needed to be in this fight, they practically dragged me into it and now they want me out? It doesn't work that way now for me.

" It'll be like being on the front lines." he tried to assure me.

"As far as the soldiers know, you survived a bullet to the heart. I think they'll understand why you're not with them." I went to protest but Coin cut me off before I could speak. "we'll fly you in for the surrender. We'll need you for the ceremony. You're very valuable to us." I licked my lips. I was never going to get her approval but she couldn't know what I was thinking.

"I'll do whatever you need me to do."

---------------

"In sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer. I promise to love and cherish you each day." Annie recited. Finn had finally gotten the balls to marry her and keep his promise. Even though for me it was bittersweet. It was about damn time.

"I Finnick Odair take you, Annie Cresta, as my wife from this day forth. Together or apart, we will always be united. One life, one purpose, one destiny." he vowed to her

"You may kiss the bride." He did so and I smiled a little clapping.

I watched as the bride and groom danced happily with people of both districts around them. I played with my wedding ring planted firmly on my finger.

"You saw Peeta didn't you?" Johanna rhetorically asked coming to stand beside me

"Did you tell him 'Hi' from me? We're old friends you know. We had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar with each others screams." I winced slightly but then I looked at her and then back at everyone else.

"I'm going to kill Snow." I told her casually. She might as well know, in fact she is probably the only person who won't judge. "Nothing good is safe while he's alive. And I can't make another speech about it. No more cameras, no more propos, no more Games. He needs to see my eyes when I kill him. He needs to pay the price for hurting the man I love." She began to snigger which didn't surprise me.

"Now you're talking."

"I need to find a way to the Capitol when everybody is looking the other way." I breathe telling her but not looking at her, for the moment.

"I heard the medics talking they're shipping supplies out from hanger 2 around midnight tonight. Medicine, painkillers, I was gonna go steal some from myself, but I guess I could just stay and cover for you." We looked at each other

" Anybody can kill anybody Lily. Even a president. You just have to be willing to sacrifice your self." I nodded at her.

"Go on. Don't you want Snow to see you dance?" I went to join my brothers, Katniss and Prim dancing. During the dance I held onto my brothers. I love them so much, you had no idea.