You walk into the room and see Hedgewickson, Chief of the Spherical Objects Header, whom is also your roommate for some reason. Why did you want to room with him again? oh, yeah, money. Maybe. Eh. Or lumb. Lunge. Live? What's the word? Lo... Lo...lov... Limb. Spare limbs. 

"Hello," says Hedgewickson timidly.

You seize the nearest object and throw it at him. "Don't speak to me before I've had my coffee," you yell, violently throwing the next object at him whilst he cowers from the various books, weights, and small children being thrown. He crawls beneath the sofa and you kick it a few times. Looking up, you see a plate, and- no, the plate's too valuable to be wasted on an "NFL imagines" parody.

You reach for another item- a live chainsaw, would you look at that- and start yelling at him in Spanish, which I the author obviously don't need to type out because I'm obviously great at Spanish and the fact that you would even question me hurts my feelings.

It hurts the duolingo owl even more that you haven't completed your duolingo lesson.

"You're unfit for the lemur kingdom which will soon take over" resonates around the room and you hear him start to cry from under the sofa. Good, you savagely think, I meant every word. "Kinda annoying", "inferior to cabbages" and "who dares put milk before cereal" follow. 

"Please," he sobs from beneath the sofa. "I'm trying to complete my duolingo lesson."

Silence falls like a platter of sausages.

"You haven't done your duolingo lesson yet?" You whisper.

He cries more, which you take as a no.

"But-" you glance at the sun- "it's five to midnight!"

"11:56 if you're talking digital," hedgewickson violently cries. He clambers out from under the sofa and stares at you in fear. 

You switch off the chainsaw and put it on the Violent Weapons Shelf, next to a photo of a panda and some weird lemur statue. "You know what this means, right?"

"Full lockdown," he sobs, and pulls down the emergency lever. "We might still have a chan-"

"No," you snap, cutting him off. "Complete your duolingo lesson, the solid steel bars will only give us a few minutes."

Hedgewickson pulls out his phone and desperately clicks the duolingo icon. "It's not loading," he says, tears streaming down his face.

You let out a choked sob. It's 11:58, or two minutes to midnight. He's got to do this. The app finally loads and he lets out a tiny squeal, desperately trying to click the New Lesson button.

"Quick!" You snap. He starts violently tapping in words.

"You need to calm down, you're being too loud... Translate into Spanish!"

"Uhm. You need to calm down, you're being too loud... Necesitas- WHAT'S CALM DOWN-"

"Write 'the duolingo bird is aweome' instead," you panic.

"Necesitas duolingobirdisawesome, estás- is there an accent or not-"

"I don't know, you're the one doing Spanish-"

"One's 'this' and one's 'you are', uh, I'll put the accent-"

The sun disappeared and was replaced by the moon. Silence struck. Midnight had fallen.

The duolingo owl was coming.

-----

There was an ending to this story, but I've removed it as it was too graphic and disturbing. I wrote it when I wasn't having such a good day and I'd rather it was left in the dark, like most of my drafts. I apologise if you had to read it and I hope you have a great day :)