More things to do to how your hatred for humanity... Part II!

Because yes, I hate humanity.

1. If you're having cinnamon rolls or cake with yellow icing, use melted cheese instead.

2. Ask about someone's dog's day instead of their day

3. Obsess over their dog

4. Celebrate their dog's birthday

5. Bring their dog to Disneyland

6. You know that thing where someone makes a little half-heart with their fingers and you have to make a half-heart back? Make the hearts and then trap their fingers in your hands

7. Use any compliment as a chance to boast about how awesome you are

8. Bribe people with food to say that you're awesome

9. Make dinosaur biscuits but do it without legs

10. Whenever Dolphins come up, discuss your utter hatred for them. Apparently it's a red flag but like nah

11. Give first-years the wrong directions

12. Bring up cheesecake whenever there's a lull in the conversation

13.

14. Leave empty spaces randomly

15. Break up in tears whenever your friend tries to leave them room, sob about how much you love them and will miss them and will always think of them

16. Crack your best "hi gay, I'm owen" if someone tries to come out

17. Someone say something accidentally dirty? Never let them forget it. Ever.

18. Order your peas demushed

19. When your peas arrive, mush them

20. Be irrationally terrified of stupid things

21. Point out an electric car every time you see one. Even if cars can fly by then, you've still got to point it out.

22. Prioritise cats over anything else

23. Draw cats on your exam

24. Call your friend their pet's name

25. Randomly bring up cheesecake in conversation

26. Go for your friend's cat as soon as you enter the room

27. Replace the drinking water with saltwater

28. If you're at a party with drinks, wait until you find people's cups unattended and switch them round

29. Openly talk about how you are an alpha male mega gigachad and will not be addressed as less

30. If someone suggests you find a boyfriend, angrily say "and that's EXACTLY why I didn't choose the salt option"

31. Slurp your drink

32. Use "cheese" as a verb synonym of "to talk"

33. Narrate everybody's actions as if you were the dungeon master

34. Pretend you've heard all of Taylor swift's songs and don't listen to three on repeat

35. Aggressively cross your legs

36. Advertise yourself as "just add hot water"

37. Wear Christmas hats in May

38. Make a plague doctor mask instead of studying

39. If someone can't think of a word, say "wafer thin???" but in as disturbing a voice as you can

40. Wear a reindeer-themed hat whilst you write this chapter

41. Reply "ok" to Millie and nothing. else.

42. be late for your duolingo lesson and beg for your life in spanish

43. Shitpost on Audrey's page

44. Bring up axolotls in a sentimental moment

45. Say "Level Up" in a mario-esque voice whenever your friend does something

46. Sob about how your companion smells like Darth Vader "and darth vader died and i don't want you to die because i'm too financially invested"

47. Spell "reply" like "relpy"

48. Point at your friend's trousers and mumble "zip". Watch as they panic

49. End on an unaesthetic and annoying number (sorry not sorry)

Happy Friday 13th people :) enjoy your day, please please please make sure you're taking care of yourself and see y'all soon :)