The Guide:

1. Realise that frequently searching up 'why are men so good looking' is not usually something done by heterosexual persons.

2. Accept that you are part of the rainbow.

3. Come out to two friends.

4. Become sad

5. Mope around for a bit feeling sad

6. Look at gay memes and feel better because the Internet loves and supports you

7. Repeat step six for two years

8. Come out to your family

9. Get accepted by family and be surprised

10. Wake up and remember you never came out to said family and that it was just a dream

11. Feel sad again

12. Look at more memes

The starter pack to being LGBTQ+*:

1. A tiny gay pride sticker

2. The knowledge that someone somewhere loves and supports your gender identity and who you love is to important to them

3. The ability to write 'I'm gay' on your account bio

4. A right not to be judged

5. An invisible rainbow aura surrounding you

6. A bath towel *cough Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy cough*

7. A sudden rush of feeling accepted and loved from time to time which promotes you to do things you will probably regret later, like writing this chapter

8. A bucketful of confusion

9. The gay speed (optional but fun)

10. The ability to scare straight men when they make sexual jokes (generally best when you identity as male)

The starter pack to being an ally:

1. All the flags you want

2. Support

3. Rainbow socks

What is an Ally?

An ally is someone who, despite not being part of the LGBTQ+* community still supports them.

What is gay speed?

The ability possessed by gay people to run extremely fast.

What should we do with the homophobic and transphobic people?

First, shut them in a huge closet with rainbow flags and lights. Wait six days then burn the place down.

Isn't being gay just a phase?

No. No. No. No, it's not. If you think you're gay, then you have reason to suspect that, and you're probably gay. If you think that it's just a phase, well, isn't life just a phase? You know, you're dead pretty soon.

How do I become gay?

Drink the gay water found at the top of mount gay. You just climb wearing only rainbow-adorned clothing. You cannot bring any straight people with you. When drinking, you must drink it with pride.

Why do you keep saying 'gay' instead of lgbtq+?

Well, it goes something like this:

I. Am. Lazy.

Don't be stupid. They're just confused. 

Let me introduce you to some penguins.

They're gay penguins.

They're both male and they're actually happy together.

They've adopted baby penguins.

I haven't given a name because there are too many. Too many gay penguin couples. Search it up.

Do you think those penguins are confused?

What does LGBTQ+* stand for and why is there a star?

Lesbian (girlxgirl) gay (boyxboy or same sex couple) bisexual (any gender x any two genders) transgender (someone whose sex does not match with their gender) questioning (someone wondering what their gender/sexuality is and hasn't yet managed to find something that they can identify with) + (all the other sexualities and genders). There's a star because I put a star there.

What's being closeted?

It's the act of being in a state of 'hey I think I might be lesbian/gay/transgender/bisexual etc. but haven't yet told anyone about my status.'

Being lgbtq+* was a sin a hundred years ago, why's it changed now? We were perfectly happy before and no-one was gay.

It's changed because of development. And no, you weren't perfectly happy a hundred years ago. And yes, there was gay people. There were bisexual and transgender and lesbian and questioning people too. They were just closeted because your stupid ass.

What's coming out?

Oh, it goes something like this:

'Hello close associate of mine, it turns out that it recently has come to my attention that I am not in fact heterosexual and would like to announce to you thus that I am part of the rainbow. Any questions you have you may ask. Any objections you have must be transmitted in the form of 'punching yourself in the face.' Thank you, have a lovely day.'

Will the LGBTQ+*  ever take over? There's so fucking many.

Maybe, maybe not. There's the same number as before, just more people feel more comfortable with coming out. 

Who's gaysper?

Well. Have you ever heard of Caspar the friendly ghost?

No? Yes?

Well. He was a ghost, okay? A fictional one. 

Now, there was a bit of a war between Vox and the LGBTQ+* people.

Vox was a Spanish (I think) party that posted an announcement on a social platform a few days after the elections started. It looked like this:

"Let the battle commence!"

You see the little ghost on the right hand side?

The LGBTQ+* community adopted him and named him Gaysper, after Caspar.