Ha ha, there's no Taylor Swift in this chapter. Just me, laughing at you.

*whispers* noobs.

Anyway, after all that hate that you have probably spammed onto those two sentences, here is a guide to being awesome, because, well, you might get sick of not being awesome. 

Step 1. Be like me.

Wear shorts and a hat (I mean, you're wearing other stuff too. You're not strutting around the neighbourhood with nothing on).

Whatever you do, DON'T BE CONSISTENT.

Annoy your friends by pretending to have zero knowledge of their favourite bands (who's Taylor Swith? Who's Swift? Are they the same person? What does he do for a living? Is he a chef? No? A race-car driver? A singer? And a woman? I could have sworn you said Taylor was a boy. So, what do her songs sound like? Pop? What's that? Is that like classical?)

Never answer the continuous question of 'are you dating anyone' (why date anyone when you've got yourself *sad crying*)

Always use yourself as an example.

Be as arrogant as possible. It's really fun. You can't insult anyone as well as you can yourself, and you can't boast about anyone as well as yourself. 

Annoy your friends by just being, well, you.

Study body language intensively and manipulation.

Learn sitting, standing, speaking and being as confident as possible. There's this pose, where you're sitting down on a chiar or whatever. and you've got your left leg down on the floor in a normal pose, but the other leg's at a right angle and on top of it, so your right ankle is on your left knee. You interlace your hands, lean back in your chair and put your right arm on the back of the chair, about halfway between your wrist and your elbow, with your fingers still together. Let the left arm- the one that isn't on the chair back- relax and droop, and then tilt your head back slightly and observe everyone else. It sounds complicated, but you feel confident. You can even close your eyes and talk to people like that. It's lovely.

Annoy your friends by having zero knowledge of their favourite band, and then spending a few weeks listening to all the songs and taking notes. Yes, notes. With pencil and paper. Evaluating each and every song, from the music video, to the words, to how much of a fire risk the candles are in Love Story by Taylor Swith.

Have a small nap during school break.

Whenever someone requests your advice for a drawing, start pointing out all the flaws, all the misproportion, where everything should be, how that should line up with that, using a chalk and  chalkboard to explain your points and diagrams more clearly, before looking up seven minutes later at a person who only wanted a 'well done'.

Grow pumpkins (I actually grow pumpkins) (I'm not joking)

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