An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a priest, a vicar and a rabbi walk into a bar, but unfortunately they couldn't find anywhere to sit because there was a big football match on the telly and the place was completely packed. After standing around impotently for a while the crowd started getting belligerent because they were blocking the screen and started throwing beer glasses and bottles at them. One of them hit the T.V. screen causing a shower of sparks to fly out. One of the sparks landed on the curtains and before you knew it the whole place went up in flames. The bar owner, being a very sort of sketchy fellow, had packed way more people in the room than the fire code allowed. As a result everybody got stuck in the mad stampede to get out and they all burned to a crisp and died a horrible death. A terrible, terrible tragedy.

But it was fantastic news for me because I was able to buy the lot up for dirt cheap and fulfill my lifelong dream of building a parking lot! Are you tired of looking for a place to park your automobile? Now you've got nothing to worry about because I built myself a big old 50 level monstrosity of a parking garage. We're not entirely sure it's structurally sound, but come on. Do you really want to waste an extra five minutes of your life driving around looking for parking? Not to mention we're conveniently located near such popular establishments as Big Dave's Paper Products and Ye Olde Taxes & Accounting Shoppe. We can't do anything to help you navigate the long lines to get into those places, and we also haven't reached any sort of deal with them to validate your parking, so I'm afraid you're going have to pay the big bucks to utilize my parking garage, but think of the convenience. Also I hired a bunch of gang members to paint graffiti on our walls, or as I like to think of it, hip street art. It really beautifies the neighborhood even though most of it appears to be swear words and depictions of genitalia. Also they didn't exactly limit themselves to the garage so a lot of other buildings in the neighborhood also got tagged. But on the plus side it looks like the neighborhood has a unifying decorative theme now.

So come on down and park your vehicle today! Please note we are not responsible for any damage or theft of property that may occur on our premises. Also if you see a homeless guy with a hook hand hanging around, feel free to ignore him. That's just James. He's pretty much harmless, although I wouldn't suggest making prolonged eye contact.