An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman, a priest, a vicar and a rabbi, walk into a bar, The Englishman and the priest jump over it, the vicar and rabbi both duck, the Scotsman takes the long way around, and the Irishman, being drunk, runs straight into it. 

"Bloody 'ell, he's going to spill his tea!" the Englishman screamed in terror as he watched the Irishman fall to the ground in a lifeless heap. The Scotsman ran over and tore a granola bar open with his teeth. The priest took the bar and hit the vicar over the head with it (then proceeded to get on his knees and ask the LORD for forgiveness).

The rabbi looked over at the chaos that was ensuing behind him and sighed.

"Are they always like this?" The bartender asked, handing the rabbi a wine glass filled with Jewish baby's blood.

"I wouldn't know, I just met them."

"Oy! What're ye bullocks doin to me?!" The Irishman shouted as he spat the granola bar out of his mouth and punched the Englishman in the nose.

"Bloody hell!" the Englishman shouted and proceeded to pummel the Scotsman with sharp, lady-like slaps and crumpets.

"Stupid British snack food...." The bartender muttered as he cleaned a glass