And everytime I thought I have started knowing him, I thought I was a step closer to me. But what I didn't know was, every step I took towards him brought me two steps away from him.

~via I Loved An Illusion.

N A N D I N I

Wiping the sweat beads off my forehead, I continued staring at the photgraph in front of my eyes. It must atleast date a fifteen years old, owing to its vivid colour and crumbled appearance. Half the picture was folded behind inside the frame, I could see just one half of the picture in front of my eyes.

It was of a girl, which goes without saying, of probably five to six years of age. She was so fair and beautiful, hair tied in a pony and wearing a short dress, a smile so contagious. Her eyes and lips were so familiar to me but I still couldn't recognise who it was. My heart beat faster as my mind raced at the possibilities as I turned the picture to remove it out of the frame to see the other half of the picture.

But before my eyes could be blessed by the second half of the mystery, I felt a ceasing pain on my arm and I left the frame which fell down, the glass shattering into a hundred pieces as I clutched the picture in my hand tighter, closing my eyes in fear as I was pinned to the shelf behind me.

The rise of silence in my nervous system darkened everything around me, as I breathed slowly, afraid to open my eyes and see what that hazel eyes have in story for me. Gulping my saliva slowly, I froze numb at my place biting my lower lip, my gaze to the ground. I knew I had evoked the monster and now I had no escape from his clutches.

He looked straight into my eyes, as an unknown shiver passed through me. He was fair, fairer then you see him on television and in pictures. Yet his eyes were dark, and they got even darker when they looked into mine.

"Princess," he took my name in a whisper, slow and cold as his hands pressed my arms even tighter against the wall. If eyes were daggers and looks could kill, I would have burnt under his stare, into ashes of his hatred. He hates me. Or actually, he hates everybody, he hates the entire world with no reason at all. But the irony is, he hates me just as much as I love him.

"Leave me sir!," I begged wriggling under his clutches but he remained unmoved, pressing my arms ever tighter. I would be lying if I say that he didn't scare me, being so close to him didn't scare me. He intimidated me the most. Yet I was attracted to him like a spider is attached to its web. He'd push me away and I'd crawl back to him with all my love, shamelessly and selflessly.

My nails dug into his skin as I tried pushing him apart, causing the blood to ooze out, yet he seemed to be calm, as if feeling no pain. His body seemed to be just as numb to pain and feelings as his heart. He wasn't just darkness, he was the ruler of it and one could tell that looking only at his eyes. They were brown and perfect, yet never happy. They were always dark and stern to everybody, ready to burn them down if they tried looking through.

"This might be the first and the last time I am telling you Miss. Murthy, you have to stay away from me. You are just a mere employee whom I can throw out within seconds. Be the worker you are, do not try crossing your lines.," his words were slow and clear. I would have surely taken many things in this statement as an insult, had I not loved him so hopelessly.

His hand traced my arm all the way down to my fingertips as he snatched away the photograph and within an ounce of a second, he moved away from me, letting the cold air of the cabin suddenly touch my body. I let out the breath I didn't know I had held since such a long time as I folded my arms tighter across my chest, noticing each action of his.

He turned towards me again, his eyes looked at me, but his hands played with the picture he snatched away. Taking it right in front of his face, blocking my vision from reaching his beautiful face, he tore it. Amongst all the silence, I could hear the disturbing voice as the hard picture was torn apart by his cruel hands.

Not two or four pieces, hundreds of small bits lied in his hands as he threw them towards me, splashing them right across my face and I closed my eyes, almost jumping away as a reflex and all the bits fell right upon my foot, the slow wind carrying them away.

"Can you join them and make it a complete photograph again?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow and I looked at him cluelessly.

"It's impossible, sir," I replied getting a grip on myself as he gave me an amused expression and I stared at the paper bits flying everywhere across the confined black walls of his cabin. His expressions changed from amused to serious ones as I could feel his eyes darken again as they lowered upon me and I flinched, being conscious in his gaze.

"That's me. I have a hundred little parts, and every time you feel you've got your hand on one, the others will confuse you. It's impossible to know each one of them, just as much as it's impossible to get the bits of the picture back together. So here is your advice Princess, keep yourself away from all of this, you'd never even be even close to understanding me. I'm an abyss with no end," his voice was so cold and slow, just in a whisper, yet loud enough for me to hear, as each word he spoke repeated a hundred times in my head.

"I want you to stay away from me and stop putting your pokey nose everywhere where it is not required. I am as beautiful as a flame when viewed from far, but if you try touching it, it would burn you down into ashes," he threatened as he lit a cigarette between two his finger tips and placed it between his lips, walking away and outside. Not once did he turn behind to see if I was still there or had I left.

Staring at the dozens of paper pieces, I bent down, collecting each one of them and safely putting it into my bag. Just when I was done, he walked in again and I immediately straightened myself as he pushed the cigar into the dustbin, throwing the packet on his desk and keeping the lighter back into his pocket. His eyes were fixed at my face staring down, my eyes not ready to meet his.

"What the fuck are you still doing here? Don't you have any work to do?" His voice boomed in my ears and I flinched, nodding negatively as my eyes concentrated on the plain ground, weak to look into his eyes because I knew, if my eyes met his, they wouldn't be strong enough to keep themselves together and I would break down, letting the tears flow which I wouldn't want to happen.

"Cool then. Get a broom and clean the mess you have created!," He shrugged casually and my eyes widened as I looked at hundreds of tiny glass pieces shattered everywhere across the floor.

"What? Isn't this what a clerk does?" He asked looking at my wide eyes and my eyes settled as I nodded, moving out of his cabin while he just smirked with his smug face, resuming back to his work on files.

Taking the broom from the corner of the room, I took a deep breath to calm my nerves down. I hadn't ever even seen a broom in my entire life, and now I was going to use it. Ironical, isn't it, how life teaches you things in the most weird way possible?

Knocking and moving inside his cabin once again, I bent down sitting on my knees and stared at the shattered glass pieces. Just like the broken glass, my heart was shattering and breaking into pieces with every task that he made me down. Slowly, I was breaking from within, trying to keep it in myself. I could wipe off the broken glass pieces from the floor, but no one would be able to wipe my broken heart pieces off me.

Dragging them all to a corner with the broom, I squeezed my eyebrows. This wasn't really as difficult as I though it would be. Smiling the proud smile, I placed my hand to the ground to support me to get up and a needle pain there shook my entire body.

"Aah!" I screamed in reflex as I got up holding my right hand and the blood oozed out. Biting my lower lip, I pulled out the glass piece with my left hand but the pain didn't stop as the area immediately started swelling up. My eyes involuntarily reached Manik Sir and he continued his work, digging into the files, unaffected by my pain.

"Princess," he finally called looking up and I looked at him with expectant eyes. Just one statement to show that he cares, something to show that there is still some goodness left behind his mask of a demon.

His bored eyes met my expecting ones, "can you please take the broom outside if you're done, I catch dust allergies quite fast!" He rolled his eyes casually and I felt like laughing at myself as I picked the broom and moved outside.

I am a fool, ain't I? Even after everything, like everything, I still keep hope that he'd care, that he's a nice person behind that mask. Staring at myself in the washroom mirror, I splashed cold water at myself innumerable times to calm myself down but it didn't help as a single tear drop fell off.

I felt tired, tired of Manik. Actually, I felt tired of the hope I have for him and every time I create an illusion of him in front of me. At first, thinking that he was a good person and actually my friend. And now, thinking that he's afraid to love and to be loved and that is why he's worn this mask of a devil to keep people away from him.

Me and my stupid heart and the illusions we keep creating about him.

Everytime, everytime, I feel I've started knowing him, I'm proved miserably wrong. Every step towards him just brings me two steps away from him. Once again, the illusion I had about him broke and his real face came in front of my eyes.

He is a monster and that is an unchangable fact.

Wiping my face with the tissues, I walked out of the washroom. I didn't have the power to stay here for any longer and the entire day at office lied in front of me. I wanted to do anything, but stay away from him. All my determination and strength came crumbling down inside me and I couldn't help it.

I wasn't strong.
I wasn't strong enough.
I wasn't strong enough for Manik Malhotra.

Buried in my thoughts, I dashed against someone. "I'm sorry!" I whispered in a lifeless voice as I looked up to face a very familiar face. And just as much as I wanted to run away from people, god landed me in such awkward situations where I keep running into more.

"Aryamman Khurrana, isn't it?" I teased with a smile. Just the face of someone whom I don't call a stranger uplifted my mood as his laughing and jolly eyes met my dull ones and he passed on a bit of happiness to me too.

"Aah! I guess I know you. Nandini Murthy, hmm?" He played back the game, giving his hand ahead for a handshake which I happily took, but the moment his hand clutched mine, I gasped in pain and he immediately left my hand.

"Are you okay?" He asked holding my right hand as some more blood oozed out. "God, you clumsy girl, where did you hurt yourself haa?" He teased and I let out a small giggle.

"I ain't clumsy, okay?" I played along to forget the pain in my right hand and he held it tight between his hands, and I couldn't help but notice how they fitted in perfectly.

Maybe Zubin was actually right. Manik wasn't supposed to be the one for me, there is someone else out there made for me, it was me who acting all that blind in love with Manik. I need to probably open my eyes and see how there are better people in this world.

"Excuse me?," we heard another deep voice echoing in the corridor and I closed my eyes, hearing his voice frustrated me now literally. I couldn't help but think how true this is, 'think of the devil and the devil is here'.

"What is happening here? Nandini, Mr. Khurrana?" He walked towards us and I realised how my hand was stuck in Aryamman's, I tried pulling it away but he had held it way too tightly to let my hand go as Aryamman's eyes stared back into Manik's and I couldn't decide which ones were darker.

"Miss. Murthy, I don't pay you a bundle of notes at the end of the month to flirt around with my clients, do I?" His gaze pierced into mine and i preferred keeping my head down as I nodded negatively, fear settling in my head once again.

"Flirt? I'm sorry Mr. Malhotra because you seem to be blind. She's hurt!", Aryamman gritted back and my eyes widened as they snapped on Aryamman. I didn't need him to fight for me, especially not from Manik Malhotra, the one I fear the most despite loving him the most.

"Is it, Mr. Khurrana? So now you'd teach me how to behave with my own employees?" He smiled the most sarcastic smile I have seen in a while as he rested his lower body on the desk behind, crossing his hands across his chest, his eyes slowly moving from Aryamman to me and then back to him.

"It isn't about the behaviour, Malhotra. It is about respect. She's a girl and no matter what, you have to talk to her with respect. Just because she's your employee, you don't own her!" Aryamman gritted back crossing his arms across his chest too and I freed my hand from his, moving a few inches away.

But Manik, he kept quiet. For the first time, Manik didn't have any comeback, nothing at all. His eyes got darker and he clenched his fists as I could see the frustration enter his nerves.

"Anyways Malhotra, I came here to invite you for the business launch party at my place this Sunday! I'd love if you can come," Aryamman smirked proudly as he placed the bouquet and the card on the table.

"I'd see you!" He whispered winking at me as he turned back and left in all attitude, while I closed my eyes fearing the upcoming consequences. Manik Malhotra hated losing anything, let that me a small arguement.

Gritting his teeth, he got up wearing the two buttons of his tuxedo, his ferocious eyes looking everywhere but not resting in a particular place. "Princess, inside my cabin, now!" He whispered shouted and I gulped my saliva, following him in.

Just as I closed the cabin door, he smiled at me calmly, like the saint in him. He didn't scream, didn't shout, nothing at all. Smiling at my petite frame, he asked, "Are you okay?", with concern all over his face as he pointed to my hurt hand.

Nervously breathing slowly, I slowly nodded positively. "I am," I barely whispered holding my hurt hand in the other one while he took slow steps towards me, and with every step he proceeded, his eyes seemed a little more darker, his smile seemed a little more like a smirk, and he seemed a little more devilish.

"Great. Because from now on, you wouldn't be okay.," He laughed dryly and my eyes snapped up to look into his hazel ones and got stuck at them. "I've always told you I am a monster, but you've never seen that side of me yet. This one wrong move would cost you the smiles of a lifetime, princess," He laughed dryly and the spark in his eyes told me that I have messed with the wrong person without doing anything myself.

He was the fire people feared, and now I knew, without doing anything, I had unknowingly thrown myself into that fire, thrown myself into it, into him and now I'd have to let myself burn.

His lips were an inch away from my ear and I my eyes were closed, the darkness scaring me lesser than his presence as he poured his cold voice into me, whispering, "I can destroy you in the most beautiful way possible, and when I leave, you'd understand why storms are named after people,".

And now I knew, letting him play me was the only choice I ever had.

~•~

And also, I guess most of you have already heard, but those who didn't, I have the chance to publish this book (Humesha) as a proper book with the character names changed and this book will be pulled down from wattpad. Do you think I should go ahead with it?

Do drop in your opinions, I'd wait.

Thank you!