Forever And Always?

N A N D I N I

I coughed a little, feeling tired again. "Nandini, you did not have to do this. I could have done it myself," Mukti argued as we got into the jeweller's shop.

"Shut up. My best friends are getting married and the least I could do was help you pick up your groom's ring. I've come already and there's no way I'm going back, so suck it up already," I scolded her and she nodded her head in disbelief as we settled ourselves.

The jeweller knew Mukti already and he started showing her the designs she had shortlisted but I couldn't take off my eyes from the diamond that shone in my engagement finger. This was a week back, when Manik proposed me, making me the happiest woman in this world, but we settled on making it a promise ring.

Being Manik Malhotra's girlfriend was the best feeling in this world, and this week had to be the best week of my life. I shifted in with Manik because we both lived alone, and then our life changed. From breakfast to dinner, we stuck together. We used to go for his recordings in the morning, and then to Murthy Industries in the afternoon and evening where he used to teach me better business. We often cooked dinners together, which was him cooking and me learning, and nights were reserved just for the two of us. We always started with a movie or a game, but ended up on bed. We were like magnets, always getting drawn to each other.

Life even changed for Mukti and Zubin. They wanted to get married as soon as possible. Manik was disappointed because he wanted to take time making everything perfect for his sister's wedding, but when I told him how they've already been separated for years now and don't want to miss a second with each other, he understood. I still remember what he told me, "I can't imagine staying away from you for five days even, they did this for five years".

I had laughed, and then I puked. I had tried cooking the previous day, and I was sure I had got a bad food poisoning. But I was stable after that, until yesterday when a sudden pang of tiredness, stomach ache and vomit hit me.

The wedding was tomorrow, and I didn't want to get sick today— no chance. So I immediately had gone to the doctor, getting a few tests done. Manik insisted on coming along, but he had to go with Zubin to get his tux ready.

"How's this?" Mukti's eyes snapped me out of my thoughts of the most perfect week and I flipped towards her, looking at the ring she held in her hand. It was a plain gold band with studded diamonds, something that Zubin would totally love as his wedding ring. "Perfect," I knew it was.

They were having a white wedding tomorrow, in the hall that was beside the forest. It was deserted most of the times, so we got it easily— or atleast that's what Manik and Zubin told us, but I'm pretty sure they bribed the owner into paying double the amount for getting it ready in such a short time span. They loved showing off they had money, and no matter what we girls told them, they didn't care.

I was lost in my thoughts again when my eyes laid on a simple platinum clad ring, with a small opening in the centre, like an infinity band with a loop and the second I laid my eyes on it, I knew it was perfect. As I held the ring closer to me, I loved how philosophical it could get. It was an infinity with a loop, indicating every forever has an end, nothing can go on for infinity. Every thing on earth will once turn to fossils, even humans return to ashes, but it's the infinity we live in the finite days that matter.

I looked up at the jeweller, "ma'am, that's the infinity collection, limited edition; one of the costliest we have around, and it's already booked by a lady who came an hour ago, we're sorry we have no duplicates," he said and I nodded.

"That's sad, cause this ring is beautiful," I said and looked up at his face. "And every beautiful thing comes with a price"

"I'll pay you double, pack the ring," I smiled looking at him and his eyes glistened.

"Y—yes ma'am—," He stammered, rushing to the counter with the ring in his hand, his hands trembling. I smiled to myself, biting my lower lip as my head already ran to Manik's face when I give him this.

Manik Malhotra, I hope you're ready for the little surprise.

✿

It was evening when I and Mukti were done with the last minute shopping for her honeymoon, and we got back, as Mukti dropped me to Manik's house. I immediately went upstairs to his room, and found him in the balcony, blankly staring outside.

He looked lost, as if wondering something deep. I tip toed to him, keeping my head on his back and hugging from behind. I could feel his flexed shoulders relax by my touch, as if the cold blood in his veins suddenly turned warm as he pulled me ahead, now hugging me from behind as he kissed my temple.

"What's wrong?" I ask him, as we both stared outside to the city lights and the purple sky glistening with faint stars covered by a small cloud cover. He smiled, whispering against my lips, "you know me so well."

I turned towards him, sandwiched between the rails and him, and I saw something unknown in his eyes. Something shone before it immediately disappeared. "I don't know, I was just scared," he whispered and I tensed. He was scared?

In all the time I have known him, I have seen him scaring people, I have seen every shade of him but being scared was something he never did. Or maybe he was, but he definitely didn't show. "What's wrong?" I asked, holding his face gently in my palms and he kissed one of them, keeping his hand over mine.

"I don't know, I was home early and this erratic heartbeats, I was just afraid as if I was going to lose something. I felt this last time when Dad passed away and I was so afraid, I thought you—.....," his voice faded. "I couldn't think straight, I didn't know what to do," he whispered and he sounded so broken that it hurt my heart to hear him this way.

"I'm fine," I told him, if that helps. "I want you to be fine, always. I'm so scared of losing you," he said, holding me close and my heart beat fastened.

"There's nothing to lose. You and I have each other, till the very end," I told him and he tensed again, but nodded. I didn't know what was troubling him, but it was something for sure.

"I hope we do. Please stay," He said and I nodded in the hug. Suddenly, his strong heart seemed fragile as I heard it beating. Something was just not right with him.

"Manik, you're not okay," I say to him, pulling away. Any shade of him was fine, even the monster, but this Manik... I couldn't handle it. Not today, not ever.

"I don't know Nandini, I'm just tired," he whispered, leaning behind and I felt like crying all of a sudden. He called me Nandini, not princess. But I knew I had to be strong, for all the times that he managed me. He was broken too, and I always knew that... so how could I break away from him when he was showing me himself with no barriers?

"Tired of what?" I ask, and it was just followed by a long silence.

"Tired of fighting," he finally says, and it was so silent that I could hear my heart beating loudly in my chest. "Every day seems like a new war, even when I have you. Until a year ago, I was afraid of nothing because I had nothing to lose. But now I have you and Mukti; you both are my weakness. Any minute that you're not with me, this feeling that something would happen to you is killing me from inside. I have a lot of people around me who wish for anything but my happiness and I can't even think what would happen if one of them puts a finger on you," He said. I pursed my lips, not knowing how to console him.

"You'd never lose me. I promise," I whisper back, taking his hand in mine.

"I know. But I'm so tired fighting this feeling all the time, I wonder if living such a life is even worth it. I'm just tired Nandini, you know, I want to live a normal life now, you and me, safe and sound with no worries. I want to be away from this world in a place where I have you all to myself to love and to protect and we can live freely, being us, and not afraid that one wrong step in the public can get you killed. I want to love you limitlessly and it's killing me to see how this fear is stopping me," he told and I kissed our entwined hands.

"Manik, I know this is difficult. But you have to fight this away for now. And I know it deep in my heart that there is going to be a day when you and I would go to sleep without the fear of losing each other. There will be a day when you won't be afraid of loving me, there will be a place where you can love me limitlessly with no fear of getting me killed by one of your enemies, okay?" I said, with a slight chuckle at the end and he weakly smiled. "But maybe that place is not this and the day is just not today. Maybe tomorrow, in the future, we will have our own happily ever after too," I poked him and he smiled, pulling me close.

The brokenness of his eyes disappeared and the usual quirky self returned as he held me close and I encircled my hands around his neck. "Ah, so happily ever after it is?" He teased.

"I know this will sound stupid, but ever since childhood, I never believed in happy endings. I believed in love, but not in happy ends— I saw Mukti and Zubin separating when Mukti supposedly die and Dad ending alone when Mom died. So I never believed in happily ever after and now I feel so selfish when I ask it for us," I said, and he smiled pecking my forehead.

"Well, I have something better then. I don't believe in endings at all," he said and I licked my lips, waiting for him to go on.

"Why would our story ever end? I mean, I'd not want our story to end at all, I want our story to be ours, I want it to live with us like a part of ourselves and die with us when we do. I don't want forevers, because forever will have an end too. I want our story to be a part of our heart, I want it to remain until either of our hearts beat and I want us to take it right to the coffin like a part of ourselves, I want it to breathe in our ashes and get drowned into the oceans, like intoxicating air of its own kind, so that when I close my eyes and you're not around me, I can feel you in every breeze that comes to me and I want you to feel me in everytime you touch the sea water," he said and I smiled. We didn't make sense tonight, but actually we never did. Our love was crazy and we wanted to make it live forever but not forever at the same time.

"Damn, that's bad. I was planning to write Humesha, a story of our love and publish it as a proper book to surprise you on the day we get married," I frowned. I actually had it planned, and had even thought about the chapters that would be included and the point where I would end it, a fairytale happily ever after.

He laughed. "Then you can write it. I am not much into books, but I'm sure this is going to be my favourite story already. I'd read this to myself whenever I can and then I'd read it to our kids as a bed time take," he said and I blushed. Our kids. It was a dream, a fairytale I was living.

"You know, sometimes I just think how I got so lucky to be loved by you," He said and I nodded negatively. "I am the lucky one here, Manik. I'm so happy that this beautiful heart of yours belongs to me," I smile poking his heart and he smiles back.

"Well, I had planned is a special dinner tonight for us but you have already eaten food and I ain't hungry either, so maybe now it is," I sigh and he seemed confused as I walked inside the room and grabbed the box in the shopping bags, walking in.

He just stared at me as I walked to him and slowly opened the box, revealing the platinum ring. "Nandini— this—....," He stammered, astounded.

"Princess," I corrected him. "You call me princess, not Nandini," I smiled and he squeezed his one eye in guilt, a smile spread across his face.

"So, Manik Malhotra, would you marry me too?" I said and immediately giggled at how crazy it sounded. He pulled me closer and kept his lips on mine, answering my question.

We kissed softly, not being hungry like always. "Is this an answer?" He said, breathless as we broke away and I blushed to the deepest red as he placed his forehead on mine, and I felt I had found my eternal peace. I don't think I'd want anything else in my life, now that I had him.

"I love you," I whispered and he pulled me into a bear hug, embracing me completely. "I know you do," I felt him smiling over my head,

"You're supposed to say I Love You Too!" I complaint, pulling away. Manik had never told me that he loved me, not even when he asked me to be his girlfriend but I had no complaints because he found a million other ways to show me that everyday.

"You know, I don't believe in saying this I Love You stuffs. I'm rather the kind of person that would show it, and I don't believe in saying these things," he nodded negatively, shrugging the topic and I glared at him. He was lying.

"Alright...," he gave in, "I don't know, I just can't say it to anyone. I mean, it's been a long time since I last uttered these to anyone. I just can't say it," He said and although I wanted to be angry, I laughed.

He had his own flaws and I had mine, if he could accept me the way I was, I could accept him that way too. I was obliged to be able to fall in love with this man in front of me, and I couldn't stop wondering what god must be thinking as he made this masterpiece. He was different, different than anyone I have ever met and I ever will and I think that's what makes him him.

"So, does that mean I never get to hear an I Love You from you?" I faked sadness. He seemed guilty and I immediately regretted saying that.

"You will," he seemed thoughtful as he answered me after a brief of some seconds, "I'll tell his to you, even if only once in this life, but I promise I will," he said. "Will that ever be enough?" He asked and my eyes were glistening. I was highly emotional these days.

"These small tries that you make for my happiness, that will always be more than enough." I said, as I removed the ring from the box and slipped it into his ring finger.

"I promise I'd remove this ring from my finger only the day I'd die, orelse a person will have to go through my dead body to get this from me. This is so so precious. This ring, and you are mine till my last breath and yours," he kissed and I nodded. "Yours," I repeated.

"Make me another promise?" I asked and he nodded, "Anything," he agreed.

"You won't talk about either of us taking our last breaths. I've just got this time with you, I've just got you, and I can't bear to lose you already Manik. We've faced everything together and we will face death when necessary, but until then, promise me to never talk about it again?" I begged and he covered his face with his palms.

"I'm so sorry," He whispered. "I don't know what's wrong with me today, I was just so scared about losing you, maybe that's why I'm talking like this. Forgive me?" He asked and I nodded.

"I don't like the thought of losing you," I said and he nodded. "You will not lose me then," he said and these were the words that made me the happiest, not any mere three words that say how much he loves me.

"I'm yours, and you're mine. Forever and Always," He commanded and I happily agreed.

"Forever and Always," I repeated, letting my forehead rest on his.

From fighting with each other to fighting the world for each other, we fell in love. And I knew this was no ordinary when we lived a forever in each second we spent together. After endless discussions, we settled on forever. Forever, it was.

~ you will forever be my Always ~

~•~

I am very disappointed by the response y'all have given, I had planned upon leaving this story that way and not updating at all but being a writer, I have certain duty and responsibility towards completing the book, despite the bad response; and that is the only reason I am updating this chapter.

I will complete it in a chapter two, and not leaving y'all hanging with a no end. Enjoy it while it lasts, one last time.

Comment if you feel like. No pressure from this end.