*selfishly hopes that you all remember me*

*unedited*

He was a monster for the world but in front of her, he was a completely different man, he showed shades of him that he never showed himself. He was cheesy. He was caring. He was flirty. He was himself with her, and she loved him for that.

N A N D I N I

He didn't kiss me out of passion. He didn't kiss me out of desires. He didn't kiss me out of love. Actually, he didn't kiss me at all.  He just let his lips brush to mine, like two wildflowers in the wind, until every cell of my body became aware of what was happening; and I held his collar, embracing my hands around his back, before his lips engulfed mine.

And when our lips finally met, we didn't melt in each other's mouth, we let our lips collide like two fierce stars, me being soft and blue, and him being red and fierce. We collided like two hungry wolves, waiting to devour each other. We kissed like there was no tomorrow, as if just kissing had united our souls, our breaths mingling as one, his one hand held my waist and second held my cheek while I couldn't help but just brush my hands against his back.

We were not in love. We weren't two lovers. But it was just the moment that made us forget our everything, all our senses. Me and him were so wrong and yet, everything just felt so right, as if this was meant to happen, as if me and him were meant to collide by destiny, as if the heavens have listened and the fates have been sealed.

I couldn't breathe properly until he came, and ironically, by kissing and taking my breath away, he taught me how to breathe. I would never wanted to pull apart until he did, leaving me panting hard for air, as I let my head rest on his shoulder and so did he, let me be.

"You taste like regret, and I love how familiar it is," he whispered, the corner of his lips lifting as his dark eyes met mine.

I don't know what I was feeling right now, but happy was definitely not the answer to it. A wave of an unknown emotion ran through my nerves and spine, making me feel different, dirty in my own skin as sudden feeling of heat gripped my body.

My eyes snapped everywhere in the room to find something comfortable to look at, but the more I tried looking different ways, my eyes got stuck into his. I loved everything about him except the fact how his eyes had the darkness, a light of the demon as it resided in them, which made me feel uneasy and lose the oxygen of my body.

Taking deep breaths, I tried calming myself down, my hands rubbing everywhere on my bare arms. I felt used.

"Hey- hey, princess, are you okay?"

His hands tried rubbing my back to calm me down. "Don't call-... call me princess," I nodded negatively, removing his hands off me which took him off guard. He looked at me as if I was doing some kind of weird dance when I wasn't, I was just trying to protect myself from some type of Panick attack. "Dis-tract me" I barely whispered.

"Is your name wi-fi? Because I'm feeling a connection," he smiled his toothy smile and my breath got stuck in my throat instead of coming back as I coughed and his beautiful smile just became bigger.

"Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart," he winked and I gulped my saliva hard. His cheesy lines couldn't get more cheesier.

"Can I take your picture so that I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?" He squeezed his eyes and I couldn't help but almost smile. It was Diwali, this boy.

"Oh wait, you look ill!" He shouted almost shaking me. "I think I know what you lack, vitamin ME," he smiled toothily again and I almost giggled. He looked so cute with all the faces he was making.

"Do you have a map?" I suddenly said and he stopped his list of cheesy lines, confused. "Because I keep getting lost in your eyes," I completed biting my lower lip and he made an impressed face.

We both stared at each other before I burst out laughing and his giggled joined into mine, fading into it. My eyes were dropping and I had started feeling sleepy.

"See, I successfully distracted you," He smirked biting his lower lip in a victory smile and reality dawned back as I smiled too, nodding positively.

"Why did you kiss me?" I asked suddenly, my heart beating faster and amusement ran through his eyes, as he smiled.

"You really want to know why?" He stooped closer, almost making me forget that there was something called breathing in this world. "Maybe because I wanted to distract you," he tucked my hair strands behind my ears, making my heart skip a beat.

"Maybe because I couldn't see those beautiful eyes so tired," His thumb brushed the my cheeks, rubbing away the non existent tears.

"Maybe because I wouldn't want you to lose your smile and fall weak," he pursed his lips, and unknowingly, a small smile captured my lips,"Maybe I wanted you to know, that I'd be there for you whenever you feel you're going to give up,".

"Maybe, I wanted my old and fighter princess to be back, because I didn't know this sad and tired girl," his almost giggled and I tilted my face, because I knew I would start crying any moment from now due to everything he is saying. I knew the monster, who was this boy who was praising me right here?

"Or maybe, I just wanted to feel these lips against mine," he slowly smiled, his fingers rubbing my cheek and I almost blushed thinking about the moment we just shared.

But there was a part of me that was insecure, not that I expected him to fall for me. Never. My only concern was, I didn't want to be another girl he slept with, and then just another blur memory. I didn't want to be another girl on his bed and then an achieved piece of ego for him. I might love him, but this love didn't allow me to give away my body to him for nothing.

"I-...," my words got stuck in my throat as I gulped hard, looking away. He let his cold hands on my warm ones, holding them as my eyes looked at him. He raised his eyebrows slowly, as if coaxing me to say what I wanted to.

"Manik, I-I don't know how to explain this. I just-... I just don't want to be another girl you sleep with. I mean, I am not that type. I mean, if you just want someone's body, then I am not that girl you'd get by sweet words or small kisses. I-I don't know. I- I just don't want-.....," my words were stopped when I felt his fingers on my lips and he almost sigh giggled in sarcasm, and my head felt dizzy, my eyes almost closed, feeling sleepy.

His hands held my shoulder to lay down on the bed, before his hands brushed over my eyes, closing them. "Can I do anything for you?" He whispered, conveniently ignored my words.

I nodded negatively, and he gave a small smile before I closed my eyes, turning away. Maybe all he wanted was my body. Maybe he just wanted to use me for his physical needs. Maybe I was just another girl he wanted to play with. Or maybe, I was a difficult girl to get, so he chased me.

I engraved his name in my heart and it's time I close the doors to it forever, and let my love for him grow just in my heart and soul without letting anyone know, just like a black rose, beautifully fatal.

But he was never here to stay.

And it was time for him to go away now.

I felt a duvet covering me as I felt warm hands over my head, ruffling my hair before feeling his lips against my temple, kissing me slowly, making me shiver in the warmth.

"We still have a long way to go, princess," He whispered before I heard his foot steps faded away. He cares, my heart whispered.

❤︎

M A N I K

Entering the dark room which ran along side the room princess was sleeping in, I saw Aryamman struggling, trying to shout.

"How does it feel like being hostage in your own house, hmm?" I laughed dryly opening the tape on his lips as he jerked me away. He tried staring into my eyes with anger as if that was ever going to scare me.

"Manik Malhotra, why the fuck have you tied me here?" He screamed, trying to wriggle from the ropes and I laughed at his condition. "I feel so bad to see my brother in so much pain, ufff. Let me open you up," I showed sympathy , walking towards him as I opened him slowly and he growled in frustration.

"So, How was it like, losing from me again?" I battled my eye lashes and he pushed me away as he got up by himself. Rubbing my hands to wipe away the dirt that came on it by touching him, I picked out a packet of cigars from my pocket, lighting one and putting it between my lips.

"Manik, what you did isn't right. You fucking tied me up in my own house so that you could go and meet your princess?" He growled and I shrugged it off, walking outside. I knew every corner of this house because it was what I called mine once upon a time and he followed me outside, spitting anger from his eyes.

"Come on Aryamman, you know that I always get what I want. By hook or by crook," I raised my eye brows pulling out the cigar as I dumped it into the small bin lying beside and as I turned back, I felt something hot and painful touching my cheek as my face was tilted to the side.

"How fucking dare you?," I gritted turning back to him as I raised my hand I punch him back and my hand stopped just where it was as I saw the person in front of me.

"Why have you become such a monster Manik? Who does this to their own brother?" My so called mother shouted and I rolled my eyes at her drama.

"Oh, sweet mother, please stop this drama in front of me as if you care about me, or you care that you have two sons. I respect the fact that you brought me to this world, and that's why I spare you for picking your hand up on me. Orelse no person, mind that, no person can have their way with me.," I stared into her eyes that disgusted me. She had beautiful eyes, and I got mine from hers. And since I hate her, I hate every part of mine that I get from her.

"Manik, I am your mother too, and that's an undeniable fact," she crossed her hands against her chest and I walked a bit away from her, pouring myself champagne from the bottles that lied at the side bar.

"Thanks for specifying that, mother. Since you are my biological mother, and this is your house, this happens to be my house as well. So great, I'm going to stay here tonight and all the nights from now until Nandini is here and the doctor has told her to be," I informed and she squeezed her eye brows at me as Aryamman continued doing something on his phone. A fucking kitten he is.

"Since when did you start caring about a random two rupee girl?" She seemed amused and I held the glass in my hand more tightly to stop myself from telling her something that I shouldn't.

"Mom?" Aryamman scowled and my so called mother showed her hand to him, her eyes still at me. Great, so this gay also cares about princess.

"Oh mother, you know, if she is a 'two rupee' girl, then you come no where even around an ounce. Because unfortunately, she is much more better than you. And also, I think you need to look at yourself first. You'd better know who's random for me, and who's not," I smirked looking away and she frowned.

"You really do care about her. What black magic has she done on you?" She picked up a glass of champagne as well and I laughed dryly. "Is she behind your money? Or are you behind her body?"

"Nyonika, Nyonika, Nyonika.... tch tch tch," I smiled at her. "You know a woman sees the world how she sees herself. And you being a lady yourself, think that a girl can be behind someone's money, then just think how big of a cheap woman can you be," I raised my eyebrows back at her.

"And the girl who sleeps there up, she sees the world with just love and admiration. She has the power to look into her enemy's eyes with love and make them fall for her simplicity. She loves the world despite the fact that it has cheap people like you and monsters like me. She admires people for their good things, smiles even in her pain. And that is what makes her my princess, a girl who has the heart of a queen. And that is so much unlike the woman who gave birth the me," I frowned in fake sadness and she frowned back.

"My son defending a girl in front of me is something new. You are so smitten, Manik. You have fallen in love with her," she was amused, despite the fact that I insulted her.

"A pure world like love doesn't seem good when it comes out from your dirty mouth," I expressed my disappointment. "I don't know to how many people must have these lips opened up to say this word, 'love'. You can just spoil the meaning of such a word. Please don't force me to insult you in a way I don't want to, but this word doesn't suit of some from a woman who couldn't be loyal to her own husband," I growled and she closed her eyes looking away.

"I had loved Shekhar, Manik," she jsutified and I got up like a beast pounces on their prey, as she almost stepped behind and the glass cracked in my palm, breaking into hundreds of pieces that pierced my skin but no wounds hurt more than her fake words did.

"No you didn't," I screamed out loud. "If you would have, you wouldn't have burnt him alive, you sick lady. You burnt him in fire, he kept shouting for help until his body was eaten up by the desperate flames," I shouted and she stepped back again, shivering.

"You never loved him, you just loved his money. So rather not even compare yourself with princess or with any other girl. Get that?" My voice dropped down to a dangerous level and she looked away, not saying anything. She couldn't look at me, into my eyes, because she knew I was right. And she didn't have the power to oppose what I said.

"Manik," I felt a hand on my chest that pushed me away and I knew it was Aryamman as he stared into my eyes with furiousity. "And you, blind brother!" I laughed. "How dumb can you be? You keep a criminal at home and call her your mother?" I mocked and he looked everywhere in frustration.

"Manik Malhotra, she is your biological mother and still stays with me. She's been with you for more time than me, and still you couldn't know her. Shame on you for treating your own mother this way, actually you shouldn't even be called a son. And you rather not lecture anyone about love when you yourself have nothing even close to love in your dark life," he teased my weak points and I pushed him away from his collar.

"I know what I love and what I don't, and I don't love a lot of things and people around me because I cannot promise to love someone and not love them at all after a while unlike you all, who show fake love. But when I, Manik Malhotra, falls in love, everything is around us more beautiful than the heaven itself, and more destructive than autumn. My love can give someone a taste of eternity in just numbered days, because that's how I can love a person. So I love less, because love is fatal," I closed my eyes, immediately thinking about Mukti.

"Right, love is fatal. Like you killed mukti, and Nandini was on the death bed," Aryamman lifted his lips but before it could turn into a smirk, I let my punch fall upon his jaw, and my sweet mother shrieked.

"Don't take Mukti's name with your filthy mouth, both of you."

"Really? You kill her, and we are not allowed to take her number?" Aryamman mocked and I controlled every cell of my body to tell him the secrets of my past that he would surely not like to hear.

"And what about Nandini, are we not allowed to take her name as well since you love her?" He instigated and I pounded upon him, holding him by his collars.

"I do not love her," my voice was slow and clear, yet enough to drop upon him like thunderstorms.

"I'm just fond of her. There's just something in her that I've never found in any other girl. And it's not because of the way she looks , or the way she speaks, or the ways she walks or anything like that. She just amazes me because she likes my demons, my monsterness, the very thing that everyone fears." I almost smiled stepping away from them and turning my back to them.

"There's a lot of difference between liking someone and falling in love with them," I bit my lower lip.

"But as much as I know and I want to, I like her, not for the way she dances with my angels, but for the way the sound of her name quietens my devils," I smiled whole heartedly, "I like her, I really do".

Don't find love, let love find you.

~•~

Thanks for bearing with me. I just wanted to let you all know, I love you all.

x