M A N I K

"Not everyone despises love like me. There are some who fall in love with the idea of love and it amuses me. How can someone be so energetic and selfless all the time to keep the one you love before yourself? Love is a big responsibility, a big commitment and if you can't love someone the way you are supposed to, why give false hopes? Why make fake promises? Why make people unhappy? Why break them? Why stain a pure thing called love?,"  I was answered by dead pan silence.

"I know I am selfish, very selfish. I know I love only myself. I don't have any humanity for the world around me, leave love alone, maybe because I never got the reason to fall in love with anyone or anything except myself, my best friend, and my sister... and you. And if I don't love the world, why should I pretend to love it? I don't like this world, and that's what I show. I don't know how to be fake, and so I ain't. I hate the world, and that's what I show.", there was only silence around me, and sometimes it felt nice to be away from all the noises of the world, and talk to the silence that talks back to me.

"and then the world says this is my problem. I don't want to love the world, so I don't love it, and that's not my problem, right? I'm happy in my hatred, and they don't know how to appreciate that. So all they can do is term me as a monster," I dry smiled, folding my feet more to myself.

"But Dad, you know I'm not a monster, isn't it? I'm just tired, very tired. I don't want to fight the world anymore, but how can I defeat the monsters around me without myself becoming one? So let my heart be just a secret between you and me, okay?", I smiled a bit genuinely, rubbing off the dust from my father's grave. This is his home, and they keepers didn't even manage to keep my father's bed clean despite of the bundle of notes I pay them every month.

Placing his favourite white tulips beside his epitome, I heavy sighed. I miss him so much. Have you ever felt homesick for a person? I feel that for him, every day, every night, every time. Life was so much better when he was around, and maybe my father was the only person who actually loved me.

"Dad, I know you know everything, you're probably smirking in heaven with a cigar in your hand looking at how worked up your son is after you, but come on old man, I know you miss me just as much as I miss you. But the real part is, I don't really miss you these days though you always are in my heart. I've been so busy recently, all thanks to princess-... I mean Nandini Murthy. She's a nice girl by heart, and she makes my heart a little less heavy towards the world," I smiled.

"But alas, just like every wind of my life, she too had her time. She came, she messed up herself with me how much she could, and now it's time for her to leave. And not that I want to stop her. She's probably going to hate me for long for killing her 'best friend'," I dried a laugh quoting the last words, rubbing my cheek where she slapped me a few hours ago.

"She's innocent, probably thinking she can bring a few changes in my life. But little does she know, there can be no waterfalls in a dark valley and no rainbows on a stormy sky," I sighed. "And I think keeping her away is the best thing for you as well, because the longer she stays with me, the more busier I am, helping her with all the trouble she invites for herself which means lesser time for my dark life and to miss you. So you know-.....".

My talk to my dead father's grave was stopped by a meak voice behind me, "excuse me sir?", I turned behind to see the guardian of the graveyard standing with a torch in his hand.

"Yes?"

"Sir, it is 2 AM, which is beyond the visiting time. I'm afraid you'd have to leave," He shuttered hitting his white torch on my face, making my face illuminate in the darkness as I stood up with a smirk, putting my hands into my pocket.

"I think you're mistaken. You need to see my face a little more clearly and then speak the statement. I'm Manik Malhotra, you get that?" I smirked while he remained unaffected.

"Sir, the rules remain the same. You have to leave, orelse I might call the police," he threatened and I managed a quick laugh. Call the police for whom- Manik Malhotra?

"Then I think you should, because I'm not going to leave anytime soon," I pursed my lips as the poor man dialled a few numbers on his phone. I think he actually is some kind of maniac. What police can do any bad to the bad himself?

Within a few minutes, he disappeared, leaving me alone with my father's grave in the darkness. "So dad, I think was telling you about Nandini-... I mean my princess," I sat back.

"You know, she stays with Zubin-... hmm, your favourite Zubin. And I think,- I'm not sure, but she loves Aryamman. There's something, I don't know what, but she always turns up to him whenever she's in trouble; but Destiny always brings me there.," I sighed. Destiny. Mukti used to believe in Destiny, and after her, I never thought I'd talk about Destiny again, but Nandini made me do that.

"But there's something with the way she looks at me, and I would have liked to believe that she feels something for me by the way her eyes look into mine, but I know that isn't true. I'm not the kind of boy that a girl like her can fall for, I'm not happy and bubbly- the way she is, I'm dark and cloudy because I'm the kind of a crazy boy that feels bad for serial killers. And she's a beautiful chaos who believes in love. I wouldn't say she's wrong, her right is just very different from mine," I barely managed a smile.

"I'm just afraid she's come into the wrong direction. She's trying to balance between the three brothers, and I pity her because she might as well end up as Mukti, being a part of this stupid game of hatred. She should stay away, because this isn't where she belongs. She is really innocent, and I don't want to end up using her; neither do I want Aryamman or Zubin to do that, because she doesn't deserve this. We've already destroyed the life of one girl- Mukti, and I don't think there's any space for a sec-.....," my talks to my dad were interrupted again by someone hitting the torch light on my face.

"Manik Malhotra?," his voice was gross, and I turned behind to see an irritating police office standing, "... we arrest you for trespassing this place at the time at which you're not permitted to,".

"Seriously?" I asked, laughing, as I got up and moved towards the outside, to see the face of the idiot trying to arrest me. He really needs to see my face, the face of a monster, the wrong man he's trying to mess with. "Do you even know who I am?".

"Apologies sir, I am placed on duty yesterday from a small town, I have no idea who you are. But what I am aware of is, police doesn't work seeing faces, at least that's what I am taught. Law abides for everyone, which includes you too. Please get into the van, without creating a scene," he politely requested and I gritted my teeth. Fucking police of India, never on time when needed- and now unnecessarily troubling me.

Taking my phone up, I tried calling the commissioner, but the phone went unanswered. Of course, he wouldn't wait for my call at 2:30 AM in the night.

Passing a deadly look to the man who called himself a police officer, I climbed into his van, as I saw him shiver with fear, but get inside along with me anyway. Bloody fools.

The next I knew, I was locked up in a cell. The policeman had put me into a solitary confinement. I would have liked to think that it was for my protection, but truth be told, they probably thought it was safer for the other prisoners to keep the monster away from the evil.

"Your crime isn't big enough for us to keep you locked up for long, this night at most and you'd be allowed tomorrow to leave with a fine," he informed and I rolled my eyes. The sun rises and I call the commissioner and he'd be leaving from his job, fucking douche.

"But we can leave you right now, if you can produce someone like a witness, who guarantees you wouldn't repeat the same thing again," He left and I looked around. I would have probably liked to wait but the jail's cell, unhygienic surroundings and broken walls didn't really go with my personality and reputation, so I took up the offer.

"Only one call," he warned and I wouldn't lie, he looked gay when he tried to act scary. He was trying to scare the monster away, isn't it ironical?

Immediately dialing my best friend, I patiently waited for the call to be answered. "The man you're trying to reach has died in an accident last night but there are chances you might be able to speak to him in the morning. Please try again when he is awake," a sleepy voice answered before the phone went dead again. Argh, Cabirrr.

One thing you need to know about Cabir, he loves only four things in this world- His food, his sleep, his girlfriend.. and me.

The policeman tried speaking something but I immediately showed him my eyes, causing him to shut up as I dialled another number. "Hello, princess?", I spoke in haste to be just met by silence again.

I had no other option left than calling her up, she was my last ray of hope at 3 in the morning and surprisingly enough, she did answer, though she remained completely silent, and I didn't have the sweet time to give to the princess to answer, so I decided to continue.

"Princess, I need you," I think I just whispered and I could already sense her panicking the other side. She's good, too good for the world, already caring for a man who she is supposed to hate for killing her best friend.

"Are you okay, sir? Where are you?", she had already panicked and I couldn't help but smile, as I answered back before cutting the call, "Police station".

She walked inside in the mere next ten minutes of me glaring and scaring the two policemen in front of me. She had still worn that little black dress with my jacket covering her arms, her conscious gaze fell everywhere before meeting mine. What was wrong with this girl? Had she forgotten that we were in a country like India, where it was so unsafe to walk in short clothes at midnight?

Her eyes widened as she saw me behind the bars, and she looked so scared, that I wanted to laugh, but just as my eyes pulled away from her, it fell upon the two policemen scanning her from head to toe.

"I know she is embarrassing, but that doesn't give you the right to keep staring at her. She is short, but I think she is visible enough for you to check her in as a witness and me, out," I gritted my teeth and I had no idea if I had insulted her or saved her but whatever it was, the policemen looked away and she glared at me in return as if it was really going to be scary.

"I do not want this mistake to be repeated," the constable warned, looking at her and then me and she seemed confused. "What did he do?," she asked squeezing her eyebrows and there was just the distance of a few iron bars preventing me to punch both the officers in their own cabin.

"Doesn't matter," I replied curtly and all the three in the room frowned as I was opened and I stepped out, automatically changing the atmosphere of the room to darkness. Isn't it weird how I carry darkness along with me wherever I go?

"I'd see you later," I gritted at the police man who was staring at Princess, then turning to the one who arrested me, "And I'd not like to see you at all".

I left outside, and she followed me quietly as we stood to the side. "You're amazing, sir," she complimented and I smirked. "I do know I am amazing, but I just don't know why'd you agree with me on that," I threw a long attitude shade.

"Shut up!," she shouted on the top of her voice and I stared at her, confused. She sounded irritated, frustrated; and a mouse trying to be a lioness which might as well make me laugh but I pursed my lips, trying to keep quiet. Respect.

"I am your boss, you have no right to talk to me this way," my voice had reached a dangerously low level but she didn't seem to care as she carelessly rolled her eyes at me.

"Alright then, shut up, sir," she rolled her eyes, concentrating on the last word and I'd lie if I say I wasn't shocked. This wasn't the princess I have known. I left her at twelve, I called her at three. She was still in the same clothes, which means she hadn't gone home at all. Where was she for the past three hours? Had she gone to some bar? Was she drunk?

"Manik Malhotra," she snapped her fingers in front of my face. I'm not even scared but I raised my eyebrows, amused. "I don't care about anyone, but I need my answers. I want to know why you killed Mukti!", she whispered lowly.

"Because I got bored of her. She loved me, she was cheating on Zubin, but she wanted some commitments from me. And I'm not a man of commitments, as we all know, so I refused and she took the wrong step. She threatened to go to the media and tell everything about me which could have spoiled my reputation. So I had to kill her," I shrugged my shoulders, lying effortlessly as I walked away.

I got no answer for a minute at all and then I heard slow and faded claps from behind, and I turned to see her staring at me with tear gazed eyes. "Who are you, sir?" She whispered from far but the silence managed to bring it right onto my face. "I know the truth, Mukti was your sister. You and Aryamman are step brothers..," she walked towards me.

"Princess, go away from here," I warned her in a low voice. "I wouldn't, I don't want to," she argued until she reached so close.

"Why do you keep lying to me? Now that I look backward, you've told me so many things, and I don't know what was the truth, and what wasn't. You don't love the darkness, right? You're not even fond of the stars. You do have a mother. Mukti was your sister. Even you had a family. And everything you've told me has been the opposite. Whom did I know? A liar again?" She seemed so tired, that her voice barely came out and I couldn't blame her.

We've all fed her different stories for too long for her to take anything. "I do love the darkness, and I still admire the stars. I don't have a mother, and yes, Mukti was, is, and will remain my sister; but I never had a family. Except about Mukti, everything I told you was the truth," I confessed taking a step towards her.

Her hair flew with the wind, and moonlight falling on her face made her shine, just like a star in the dark sky. And when her yes glittered with happiness and hope after every word I said, she did look like a star of the dark sky- a star in my dark life?

My thumb softly wiped away a tear drop that fell off her left eye and she sniffed, her eyes finally turning to me. "Why don't you go away? Life here, between the three of us is not going to be easy, and you don't deserve to go through what Mukti went through," I tried and she nodded negatively. Stubborn girl.

"Why can't you see, princess, I've been lying to you because I don't want you to be a part of this dirty game. We're too bad for a-...," I didn't find the right words, "for a princess like you!", I completed and earned a giggle from her as well.

"You deserve to be protected, to be loved; and you'd never get something like that here, or atleast from any of us" I tried explaining.

"And what about you, sir? Who'd protect you? Who'd love you?," she snapped back and it almost caught me off guard. She wasn't supposed to care about me, or for any of us. This was our way of living, and there was no space for love. Zubin tried falling in love with my sister, and his love had to 'die' as a result.

There's just hatred, no love out here. And she has just love, no hatred in her. We're the two opposite stars that are meant to never collide, she- red hot, and me- an icy blue, always seen together yet never together. We'd be seen together, but parallel. And just like parallel lines never collide, we both also wouldn't.

"You're so pure, princess," I whispered as my hand clutched her face, and she bit her lower lip, closing her eyes and trying to take away all the tears with her. We were very close until I decided to let my forehead be on hers, and she leaned in more, joining both our foreheads.

"I wish I could love you princess," I whispered to myself and she pulled away from me. This was the truth. I wish I could fall in love with someone like her, someone so pure by heart and soul but I know I cannot. Because I don't want to. My love is fatal for anyone, and even if I try touching someone with my love, the person has to be burnt right from existence which is a universal law that goes without my saying in my life.

Her shocked eyes met mine before she pushed me away.

"And I wish I could unlove you," I think I heard her whisper before she walked away from me, in the opposite direction, leaving me staring at the dark and isolated roads in front of my eyes, which was a clear representation of my own life- dark and lonely. Rubbing my palms together, I walked away the other direction, without looking back at her.

We were two crossroads, not to meant to entwine together. Life is too ironic to be understood fully, and it took my sadness to understand what her happiness was, my silence to understand her noise, my darkness to understand her light, and only my hatred could understand her love.

I could never love her, the fear of losing her would be so strong anyway.

• they were strange in love,
him and her,
too wild to last,
to rare to break apart •

~•~

{got many requests for Jealous Manik, and all I can say is it will come soon hopefully; but it will be so much fun to see him go all alpha for her and I promise it will be worth the wait}

And also, anyone interested in donating for Kerala, please PM me.

Thank you.

x