SATHI: Companion

The sun peeping from the corner of the curtain made me curse myself for not shutting it off. Groaning in displeasure I turned myself to the other side. My face touched something rough, hard. I knitted my brow in confusion and soon opened my sleepy eyes. It took me a minute to adjust to the brightness spreading in the room. Rubbing my eyes a little, I glanced at the figure lying beside me.

His black hairs messed around his forehead, and a small stubble growing around his chin was visible when I was glancing at him from such closeness. His mouth a gap soaring making him look cute. His face had the peace that was often lost around me. He seemed different while he lay beside me. As if my presence wasn't bothering him. It wasn't making him infuriated or annoyed.

I shook my head getting up from the bed. I needed to wake up Aarush for school. Having freshened up I walked back into the room but Yash was still laying on the side of his bed. I stared at him keenly, glancing at the watch. I needed to wake him up or he would get late to the office. My sight went to the open file kept on the table beside the couch. Maybe he had kept himself awake whole the night, engrossed in the file.

Deep down I felt he needed the rest but the thought of any important meeting made me walk toward him. "Yash" I called him standing an inch away from the bed. "Yash..." I moved near feeling he couldn't hear my call. "Yash... wake up..." and still there wasn't any response. Feeling defeated, I nudged his shoulder. "Yash... wake..." words were sealed in my mouth when with a swift moment my back was laying on the bed.

I widen my eyes in horror when I found him glancing at me with some astonishment. "You..." suddenly the realisation made him calm his ragged breath that was fanning my cheek. His hand engulfed around my upper arm. His eyes stared deep into my soul while our face was so close that it could touch if he moved an inch.

His eyes kept staring at me with an unknown emotion. His hands slowly raised to my cheek, caressing my soft skin. His rough fingertips made me lost in his touch. "So... I wish to wake up with this view each morning." He muttered leaning into my face and brushing the tip of his nose with mine. A wide grin played on his lip. Those set of orbs sparkled more than I witnessed it ever. He seemed so rejoiced at the moment, so content.

There was a knock making him growl in displeasure but rather than pulling himself from me. He deepened his face into the crook of my neck. My heart accelerated at the maximum speed. My eyes jumped out of the socket. What the hell was going on? I was so taken by his act that my mind had stopped working. His warm breath on my sensitive, cold skin made a shiver run down my spine. I shut my eyes closed, not understanding the numerous emotions engulfing my stomach. I wasn't able to hold back the moan that escaped from the corner of my mouth. What was wrong with me? How could I even enjoy it? I build the courage to push him away but the small peck on my exposed neck made me lose my senses. The hand that was on the verge to push him away settled on his back.

There was another knock. "Mumma..." and a series of knocks later, "Dada..." the voice of my son brought me back to reality. I pushed Yash with my entire force. The bafflement in his orbs was quite visible as he landed on the bed beside me. "Fuck...! Shit!" Those were the two curses that rolled down his tongue before he rushed into the washroom.

I was rooted on the bed. My brain trying to register things that happened a minute back. Yash had never behaved in such a manner. He had never taken advantage of me in such a way. But above all, I was confused with the way I reacted to his touch. He kissed my neck, my hand slowly rubbing the portion. Shouldn't I feel disgusted about it? Shouldn't I discard his touch? But the feeling engulfing my heart was something different.

"Mumma!" Aarush scream got louder indicating that he was losing his patience. I carried myself together glancing at the mirror for a second before opening the door. I found a frustrated Aarush staring at me with accusing eyes.

At that moment, that second I remembered Rishi. My breath hitched at the thought. The events that took place a minute back made it impossible for me to breathe. A sudden spark of emotion made me stumble back. Had I betrayed Rishi? I allowed Yash to touch me in a manner only Rishi was allowed. And rather than feeling disgusted or opposing his action, I was enjoying it. How could I do that? How could I...

"Mumma..." Aarush voice brought me back to the present. "I am getting late to school..." he muttered dragging me out of the room along with him. My mind was revolving around the incident in the room. I was attempting to find justification for my action but nothing seemed logical. Why had I acted so weird under his touch? Did I like it? No! That couldn't be possible... I never wanted any such relationship with Yash. I was hating myself for reacting in such a manner.

"What took you so long?" Savita Tayi asked as Aarush dragged us towards the dining table. I hold back my confusion and pressed a smile at concerned Tayi.

"I ended up late." I provided the first excuse that rolled down my tongue. She didn't seem to be convinced, she knew I was extra careful about things that concern Aarush. I had gone out of my ways to assure Aarush was getting the best mother he deserved. But not forcing me for elaborate, she packed the tiffin box for Aarush.

"You didn't have your sandwich?" I narrowed my eyes on glancing at the bread on his plate. He glared at me in response.

"Mumma... it didn't have your touch." I shook my head applying some extra cheese with sauce. It tasted worse yet it was his favourite. "Now, make it fast you will end up late." I urged handling him the bread and at that moment realised Aai as well as Yukta was accompanying us.

"Hadn't Yash woken up?" Aai questioned darting her gaze from Aarush, the smile suddenly disappearing as she glanced at me.

"He did... will be coming..." And before I could complete my sentence Yukta jumped in.

"There he is!" She shouted as he was descending the stairs. Her orbs danced with happiness and I looked away not intending to meet my gaze with Yash. I needed space to realise how was I to handle the matter? Occupying myself with Aarush and his breakfast.

"What took you so long?" Aai inquired getting curious. "Hadn't I mention to you. I will need to leave early in the morning." Aai was scolding him as if he was a small kid.

"From when you started waking up late. You were always an early bird." Yukta indirectly indicated how much she was familiar with Yash. "Don't get me started on... how many times you were the reason for me not ending up late to school." She shook her head though the smile wasn't leaving her face. "I had gotten used to you so much that often in London in your absence I ended up late in the university." A sad smile played on her lips. Each memory, each word conveyed how much she had missed Yash's presence in her life.

I felt guilty every time I heard her longings in her memory. As if I was working as a shield that wasn't allowing her to reach Yash. Her Yash!

"Tayi, just a cup of coffee," Yash muttered to Savita tayi forcing me to glance at him. He was rubbing his eyes continuously as he yawned.

"Are you fine?" Inquired concerned Aai. He gave a slight nod not even attempting to open his eyes. Though it was early morning and he had woken up a few minutes before yet he seemed exhausted. I sigh staring at him a minute longer.

"You shouldn't miss breakfast that doesn't go well with your health," Yukta spoke, trying to touch his elbow that was resting on the table while his face was leaning in his palm with eyes closed in defeat.

"I am fine... I just need a cup of coffee." He muttered straightening his hand so Yukta couldn't grab it. She seemed saddened by his acts and kept staring at him for some explanation.

"Had I done or said something wrong that is affecting you so much?" She inquired sounding soft as if afraid that any word could hurt him more.

"Yukta, I need some space." He shook his head glancing at her for a second. "You can't expect me to behave as the same unmatured Yash. I had something to look after other than acting as your beloved friend." He groaned, raising himself from the chair. I was taken aback by his loud, rude response and maybe it wasn't only me.

Everyone in the dining area was staring at him in horror. "Just leave it! I will grab something in the office." He announced getting out of the area and leaving us startled behind. We kept staring at his retreating figure. What was wrong with him? He had never lost his calm, not with his family.

"Mumma..." Aarush made a small voice staring at me in alarm. "What happened to Dada?" He seemed taken by shock. I couldn't blame him as Yash had never shown anger towards him. It was often me who scolded him while Yash supported his evilness.

"Nothing..." I caressed his hair, assuring him. "Just in a bad mood." My statement grabbed Aai's attention towards me. She was staring at me with accusing orbs.

"I hope, you had nothing to do with it." She muttered making me stunned by her accusation. Her each move and statement confirmed that she had a huge disliking towards me. I missed my Aai, Rishi's mother who never treated me like a daughter-in-law but rather her daughter. I wanted to meet her. She would erase my pain with her mere words.

"Let's get you to the bus stop." I ruffled Aarush's hair making him glare at me. A smile reached back to my face. Time spent with Aarush could shift my sad mood. So, with those thoughts, I walked down the mansion to find Yash's car waiting for Aarush.

"Dada..." joy was back in Aarush's spirit on finding his father waiting for him. He hated going to school by bus as Yash was busy in the afternoon he had to return on the bus. He rushed towards the car and soon Yash opened the door for him carrying him inside the car. "Are you mad at me?" He inquired pouting at his dad.

Yash's lip raised upward in a smile but he soon covered it. "How could I ever be mad at my son?" He raised a brow making Aarush chuckle but soon his face turned serious.

"Are you mad at Mumma?" He questioned making me rooted in the place. Yash orbs averted from Aarush to me, lingering at a spot for a minute before darting it away.

"Even if I want to... but I can't..." It was a whisper and Aarush kept quiet not understanding his words. "On the other hand, I should be sorry..." He spoke ruffling Aarush hair and making him groan as a response. "I am sorry for spoiling everyone's day..." he orbs again glancing at me. "And acting inappropriately..." those orbs stayed a little longer indicating he was guilty of his deeds.

"I guess we need to go before we end up late to school." He winked bringing the mischievous self back and spreading a huge grin on Aarush face. Soon they made their way away from my sight. A sign of relief passed my spirit knowing Yash hadn't done it intentionally. He had earned my trust during the past years. He had never even attempted to touch my hand getting intimate was out of the topic. And the sincerity in those orbs was further confirming my trust in him.

I walked inside the mansion with satisfaction covering my spirit but it flew away as Aai's words got into my ears. "What is going on between you two?" Her authoritative voice inquired on glancing at me getting inside.

"I... What do..."

"Don't try to act innocent. I know only you can affect him so much. He even missed his breakfast." She shook her head, her hands folding around her chest. "What kind of wife are you?" She was staring at me with revulsion. "You don't even care about his health. You aren't even aware that missing breakfast affects his health severely. You didn't even try to convince him. All you care about is you and your son... not that I hold anything against Aarush but I do wish he had a better mother than you." With those words, she left me with a bunch of unwanted feelings.

She made me feel like the worst human existing on the planet. Whole those years I had assumed that she hated me but those words rolling down her tongue confirmed it. She disliked the fact that I was Aarush's mother, her son's wife. With tears threatening to flow down my eyes, I made my way towards the room.

The vacant, familiar room offered me the flashes that had taken place a few minutes earlier. Yash's proximity, me shoving him away and suddenly the thought of Rishi engulfing my brain. Convincing my mind that I hadn't moved from my past. Even after four years of marriage, I hadn't moved on from Rishi. I couldn't help but compare Rishi's mom with Yash's. I couldn't help but doubt every step I took toward Yash.

Suddenly the call from my cell grabbed my attention. The screen displayed Aai. I wiped the tears in rush grabbing the phone in my shivering hand as I slipped on the cold, marble floor.

"Aai..." I choked not able to hide my tears from her.

"Aru..." I met with a concerned voice from the other side. Her voice seemed extra soft and shivering. Indicating she was growing old with each passing second. A sudden urge to be beside her concurred my heart. "Are you fine?" She inquired realising I was crying.

"I miss you, Aai..." I wasn't able to hold myself back. "I miss you, Rishi... I miss everything about us... I miss it Aai..." I could hear her sigh from the other side.

"I miss you too... bacha..." She confessed sounding stronger than I could ever be.

"I can't make it, Aai." I paused for a minute. "I can't be strong as you are... I can't forget him... I can't forget about us... I feel guilty... each time I hear someone calling me Aarohi Agarwal. I feel guilty each time Aarush call Yash his father. Rishi had the right... Rishi deserved it... Why was god so cruel? Why did he take our Rishi from us? Why?"

"Maybe to give you, Yash." I was stunned by Aai's words. How could she express it so easily? Didn't it pain her? Didn't it hurt her on seeing Aarush calling Yash his father?

"I never needed anyone than Rishi." I broke into tears shaking my head vigorously as those morning incidents flashed once again into my mind.

"Aru, Rishi had left us and he is never coming back. These memories, these flashes are for us to convince our hearts that he is present around us but in reality, he left us long back. He left us, Aru..." she paused while I was holding myself from shouting at Aai. Rishi hadn't left me! He can never leave me. "It is a harsh truth and you should accept it. You aren't betraying Rishi in any way. You are living the life you deserve."

"How can you say those words when you..."

"When I had lived a life as a widow because I know the feeling. I know the feeling of dying every second when you see a couple having a happy time. I know the feeling of shattering into pieces on a mere word, love. I don't want you to survive but live the life." She paused a minute waiting for my arguments but I sealed my tongue. I wasn't sure what I could offer her back?

"I won't ever be able to love someone else..." I was nuzzling my face into the mattress, muffling my sob in the soft cushion.

"You don't have to... as his love will be enough for you both." She whispered softly I could feel her smile while uttering those words.

"He doesn't love me..." Grumbling in displeasure.

"He does...The way he looks at you... says it all. He just doesn't want to be your companion but your Humdard."