Pyaar
PYAAR: Love
Soon, the drop of tears was covered by the overpowering rain drenching me. The heavy wind blowing around me was making it impossible to keep my eyes open. Yet I kept staring at the swing as if I watched keenly. I would get a glimpse of Rishi standing at the position. The darkness spreading around was indicating that I had spent more than a few hours in the garden but my heart wasn't in a condition to leave. The only place in the entire universe that provided me with hope about his existence.
"Should I envy him that he was offered with such unconditional love?" I heard a familiar mushed voice making me turn and glance at the source. His exhausted state was drenching in the rain as relief passed through his senses. "Aai informed you might be here. You had asked for a few hours, not twelve hours." He rolled his eyes at me, displeased with my action.
I turned away from him, facing the swing again. I heard his footstep approaching me but didn't provide him with attention. I wanted to be left alone with my Rishi's memories yet he was against my peace. "Was this the place you both met?" I could sense a hint of curiousness in his voice. "Come on! I at least deserve to know your love story." I couldn't believe him. I stared at him in utter amazement. Was he even human? How could he be excited to know about the person that wasn't allowing me to acknowledge his efforts?
"Don't you feel heartbroken?" I inquired, concentrating on him. "It isn't necessary to act strong. Sometimes, behaving vulnerable is fine." I muttered not liking his manner of hiding the pain from the world.
"What is there to be vulnerable about? Just that my feelings aren't reciprocated." He shook his head, chuckling at the end. "Holding a feeling for someone doesn't guarantee that it will be reciprocated. That doesn't mean I should be heartbroken."
"But when one's expectations aren't met, one is heartbroken."
"You had warned me not to expect anything from you. Then how could I be heartbroken?" He inquired and for the first time, those emotions flashed in his eyes. "You had warned me but it was my stupid heart that went in the wrong direction. You can't blame yourself for it. That was the reason I had concealed it from you. I wasn't aspiring you to feel guilty for not reciprocating the feeling. I don't have any problem with..."
"You need to stop acting so kind." I stood from the bench, glaring at him in rage. Though the overpowering rain was making it impossible to glance at him properly. "You need to act selfish. Stop! Forgiving me, stop acting selflessly... you need to be furious with me, upset not understanding." I groaned grabbing his collar in my fist as tears kept rolling down my cheek.
"Would that allow you to fall for me?" The sudden desperation was visible in those set of brown orbs. He chuckled shaking his head in defeat. "If my kindness couldn't melt you then how come my rudeness will?" His orbs softened as he stared into my soul. I felt melting into the intensity of his orbs.
"Why do you love me so much?" I stared at him, feeling helpless as I realise the determination his love had.
"I wish... I could answer it. Maybe that would have helped me to erase the feeling I had for you." His voice soften as his cold hand raised to cup my cheek. If I wasn't standing in such proximity to him, I might have never heard it.
"You regret it?" I wasn't sure why I wanted to inquire about it. He shook his head a grin playing on his lip at my question.
"I can never..." He muttered staring straight into my orbs.
There was silence between us for a few minutes as our ragging breath and heavy wind were the only source of the sound. "You will catch a cold. Let's get you into the car." He muttered wanting to pull away from me.
I tighten my grip on her collar. His brow knitted in surprise as he glanced at me for an answer. "What if I say that your kindness had succeeded in melting my heart? What if I say that I want to give us a chance? What if I say that I want you to help me to forget my past?" I whispered as tears kept rolling down my cheek.
He kept staring at me for a minute. Not a muscle in his body moved. His orbs scanned my face. Attempting to analyse a reason behind my words. "Aarohi... You don't have to..." Before he could mutter a word out I pressed my lips on him. My fist grabbed his collar much more tightly pulling him more towards me. I couldn't allow him to interrupt my thoughts because it was difficult to decide.
He was taken aback by my action. His brown orbs widen in alarm but a minute later, he closed it shut. His large arms wrapped around my waist. A low groan escaped from his throat as he deepened the kiss, pulling me into his chest, into him. A content smile played on his lip.
I allowed myself to get lost in his touch as his hands roamed around my back. The way he caressed my lip as if he was treasuring the moment. Soon, he broke from the kiss. Allowing us with fresh air to breathe but his grip was tight around me.
"It was as I had imagined..." He muttered, his forehead leaning to mine. "Same softness... same strawberry flavour."
"How do you know my lip gloss is of strawberry flavour?" I widen my eyes in accusation making him smirk at me.
"Some things are better-left secret." He winked soon walking away from me. I had anticipated a kiss with Yash would make me feel embarrassed. The confession would turn the situation awkward between us but it was completely different. He was teasing me! I shook my head following him into the car.
~~••~~
The journey to the mansion was met with silence. Yash opened his mouth occasionally to inform me how much Aarush had missed me the entire day.
"And you claim he loves me more." Yash blabbered attempting to make a conversation with me and erase the tension building in my heart.
"He does! His concern for me can't replace the love he has for you. For the past few days, he was going insane as he wasn't receiving any attention from you." I groaned making him chuckle in the end.
"Hmm... what about his Mumma wasn't she in need of attention?" Yash's mischievous side that I had witnessed before Aarush and Yukta was offered to me. But his playful attitude was making me feel miserable. Unknowingly reminding me of Rishi. He observed me for a second before opting to stay silent.
I was aware that I had offered him hope and again I was confusing him with my action. It wasn't going to be an easy journey for me. I wanted to forget my past because I knew my present had concurred my heart but it wasn't a hidden fact that the past hadn't left me completely. It wasn't like I hadn't enjoyed Yash's touch but I couldn't forget Rishi's as well.
I was aware that at each phase of life with Yash. I would constantly compare it with Rishi. I won't be able to forget him completely. And I knew it would be an injustice to Yash who had selflessly devoted himself to me. Though sudden sadness was covering his spirit for my lack of engrossment in the conversation yet I couldn't miss the inner satisfaction concurring, his heart. I could feel it in his sparkling orbs that he had been desperately waiting for the moment.
The car came to halt as the mansion came into the view. The rain hadn't stopped even for a minute and I was shivering in cold. I was on the verge of opening the door but Yash's sudden command halted me in mid. "Wait a minute..." he muttered searching for something in the backseat. He pulled out his jacket, extending it to me. "Wear it... you have been shivering a lot." He offered and I stare at him for the first time after I had sat in his car. "And you don't need to stand with your words. I am more than happy that you even considered, about us. That small moment was rather a dream for me." He expressed, though his eyes were staring straight ahead, not making eye contact with me. "And I will live with the memories..." He ended glancing at me for a second.
"Memories aren't enough to survive. I learned that lesson long back." I pressed a sad smile at him before walking out without grabbing the jacket from him. I wasn't sure why was I upset? Was it because he had voiced the truth? Wasn't I ready to move? Was that action taken on impulse? Or was it because he doubted my intention? Was it because he was ready to give up on me?
I made my way towards the huge entrance that was filled with darkness. Maybe Aarush was already fast asleep but before I could make it to the building. A warmth met me as I discovered a soft texture of cloth was put around my shoulder. "You need to stop acting stubborn." He gritted his teeth walking next to me. "I won't always show patience towards you." He muttered triggering me further in annoyance.
"I hadn't asked you to show patience." I glared in his direction as I rushed towards the entrance trying to jerk the jacket off my shoulder. He wrapped his hand around my shoulder not allowing me to push his jacket away.
"Do you know, how frustrating you get at times?" He was shooting daggers at me. Indicating that he was losing his calm. "You fucking disappear for hours without even receiving your call. Have the liberty to plan your husband's future with a random girl. And now on top of everything! You're shivering and yet stubborn not to cover yourself with the jacket."
"I don't need your help." I glared directly at his fuming orbs. "And don't let me count on your fault. Who had asked you to ignore us for four days? Do you have any idea how restless Aarush was? And what about those years of spending extra hours in the office to ignore me? If you dislike my presence in your mansion. You can say, I will leave without a word."
"That's the problem." He gritted his teeth in frustration as his grip on my shoulder tighten. "That the fucking problem... you will leave without hesitation. But I fucking want you to stay..." He growled staring straight into my orbs, those emotions depicted once again in those brown orbs. "Don't offer me false hope, Aru." His one hand left my shoulder extending towards my cheek. His orbs softened in response as his fingertip made contact with my soft skin. "I had convinced my heart that there isn't any future for us. I know, you won't be able to forget Rishi even if you attempt. Not that I want you to force yourself... I know neither could you force yourself to love someone nor to not love Rishi. I understand... and I am fine with it." He muttered closing his eyes in defeat. "I will convince my heart that you had never voiced those words and we never had that beautiful moment." He mumbled as he stood there for a minute with his eyes closed as if a glance at me would break his determination.
The darkness covering us wasn't helping me to glance at his face properly but I felt a hint of tear slowly rolling down his cheek before I could depict whether it was a tear or a drop of rain. He had rushed at a high speed as if scared that his heart would urge him to walk back to me. His retreating figure wasn't providing me with help. Rather I felt defeated, lost at that moment.
I should have been glad that I got a husband who wasn't forcing himself on me but rather I felt guilty for causing him pain. He loved me and cared for me but I was offering him grief. Maybe these were the things his mother glimpsed between us so she never adored my presence in her son's life. I wasn't sure if I could allow him with the love because even if I attempt the next moment the overburdening thought of betraying Rishi could knock me down on the floor. I felt so helpless at the moment.
I strolled towards the mansion to meet with complete silence. The loneliness surrounded me as I took a step toward the room. I was met with a vacant room and I made my way toward the washroom. Brushing off the drenched clothes and changing them into fresh ones. I walked into the room to find Yash walking out of the room with a pillow and a blanket. Something inside me was disappointed at the view.
Though he was ignoring me for the past few days but I knew he used to spend his night beside me. At times I would wake up at night to meet with his snoring but as I lay on the bed, I missed his presence. And the fact that he won't end up late in the bed beside me was further making me confused with my feeling.
Wasn't he desiring to hide about our marriage truth with Yukta? Or was it as if it no longer matter? Was he finally allowing me to leave him? Why was I feeling anxious with that thought? I wanted him to move on and when he was attempting, why was it scaring me?
Those numerous sets of thoughts didn't allow me to sleep for a second. I kept switching my position on the bed. And allowing my mind not to rest with the problems troubling me. I was getting restless as if a storm was waiting to destroy me further though I wanted to brush the feeling away. Soon I met with my room filled with rays of the sun, indicating it was morning. But I kept laying on the bed, forcing my mind to have some rest.
I heard some footsteps as I jerked my eyes shut not aspiring for Yash to realise I wasn't offered with the sleep the entire night. I felt his footsteps fading away yet I kept my eyes closed not wanting him to catch me. Minutes passed by and the sounds of water splashing on the tiles were heard, indicating he was having a bath. Grabbing it as a chance I stood from the bed and was on verge of walking out of the room when the knob turned and his deep, gruff voice halted me on the track.
"I am going on a business trip for a month." He muttered making a wave of sadness reach my spirit. "You will need to manage Aarush." He continued and I wasn't able to face him as I wanted to hide my displeasure from him. Why was he ignoring us? He had never gone on a business trip before. "My mother is adamant to force me with Yukta and I guess... I will have to deal with her." He blabbered as I turned to face him a minute later.
Suddenly the thought of Yukta and Yash didn't seem appealing. "She holds feelings for you." My tone rolled out in an accusing manner. As if I wanted him to give it a thought.
"But I don't..."
"She can go to any limit to..." His brown orbs slowly stared into mine. Keenly observed me for a second before a slight smile crossed his spirit. I was so concentrated on the conversation happening around us that I had forgotten to notice that he had walked out of the washroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Numerous water droplets rolled down his naked, muscular chest. I forced my eyes towards his face. It wasn't like I had never seen him like that yet it was having a troll over me. What was wrong with my senses?
Yash had his mischievous smirk as he stared into my flushed face. "You aspired the same right? Me and her ending up together?" He took a step towards me, that smirk not washing off for a second. I attempted to glare at him but his erasing the gap between us was making me anxious. Why was my palm was sweating? What was wrong with me? How I couldn't have such feelings toward him? Damn! I was losing my senses.
"Yes..." I stammered attempting to withhold my confidence. "Hmm.... But at that moment I felt she loved you but I was wrong. She wants you, attracted maybe... but she isn't in love with you." My answer encouraged him to have a murderous grin on his face. And suddenly my heart skipped a bit. What the hell was wrong with me? I was crushing over my husband? Damn! Nothing like that had happened to me before.
I was well aware that his good looks and notorious smile had gained a lot of attraction from the opposite sex but I was never on that list. At times while he was playing and enjoying his moments with Aarush, I had admired him but the feeling I was having was different from that pure adoration. Was kissing him, a bad idea?
"And what does falling in love means?" He inquired, his one brow-raising in amusement as he stood an inch away from me. I was finding it difficult to stare into his intense orbs.
"Falling in love means making that person a priority even if it means hurting oneself." His hand unknowingly placed on my back as he erased the gap between us. His orbs keenly observed my figure and soon a frown took over his mischievous figure.
"You hadn't slept the entire night?" He inquired staring at my drained orbs. I widen my orbs in horror that was the reason I was attempting to escape from his prying orbs. "Why so?" He raised my chin so I could stare straight into the set of his orbs.
"Simply..." I muttered as I shove him away and rushed out of the room. How could I convey that his disappearance didn't allow me to sleep?
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Thank you for loving the book and character so much. Never expected this!
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