That's it. It's official. I'm about to become a soulless, corporate, slave pretty soon. An automaton. A cog in a huge machine, working to make profits out of ripping people off money, by selling them things that;

A) They don't need.
B) Are somehow killing them.
C) Are making them obese/narcissistic/shallow etc.

Woohoo. Capitalism FTW!! #Cash

So for one multinational company's name recruitment process, we had to send in a PowerPoint slide/self advertisement, about why we are a "Gamechanger"....
We could fill it with anything from pictures, videos, cartoons etc. About our game changing talents.

My initial idea: "I am a Gamechanger because any Need For Speed, Wii match between me and my brother can easily turn into a wrestling match. #LiterallyChangingTheGameYo"

But I think I might have been labeled as "Extremely Unemployable" and "Mentally Unstable" before my corporate career even starts...

What is so special about me, that would compel them to choose me over others? What is my one big talent?

I can imitate Professor McGonagall like nobody's business...

I can just see the rejection email....

So I sat in front of my laptop for hours, trying to find myself in a PowerPoint slide.

My Mom: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Trying to sell myself for the shallow, momentary gratification of a corporate internship that will suck my soul, and make me a customized slave willing to sacrifice herself at the altar of end of period profits and the promise of a glowing employee appraisal."

Mom: "Okay, but first go make some Chai (tea) for your father. He is getting cranky because of that stupid cricket match."

Me: "..."

This is why my philosophy professor says that families are useless in the capitalist society. I know it.

Me: "How am I a Gamechanger?"

Brother: "Go away."

Me: "What is my talent?"

Brother: "You sleep like a pro. You're lazy AF. You're good at breaking stuff...."

Me: "Want me to break your face?"

It's hard finding one's own self. Knowing one's own self.

I spend so much time in my own skin, but I don't know myself. This is a recurring problem for most people when they write the "About Me" in their resume. Or when they answer that dreaded interview question:

"So, E. Tell us something about yourself."

Me: *Has an existential crisis*
"Err...uuhhh....uhmm.....I am a female. And I like Oxygen."

Face, meet palm.

I have had to ask around my friends to get a better idea of who I am. How do they perceive me? What my talents and strengths are. What makes me better than the next person with the same qualification and background.

At least for the Gamechanger shindig, I finally knew what I will advertise about myself.

My stories. My pen.

It was glaringly obvious really. This is who I am. I am someone who writes because, she cannot NOT write. I am someone who wants to believe in happy endings, even when the world is telling her that it doesn't exist.

This is what I wrote. I made the fancy slide myself. The firm (RB) hasn't announced the names of cleared students yet. But I have hope!!

This one is a shout-out to someone who believes in happy endings like me. And Someone of whom I am so envious because she went to Disneyland recently, in a Princess Jasmine crown. (AACCKKK!!)

sajmra grab that online douche-repellent, and never stop believing in your stories. <3 I am so happy I have you as a friend now. You weirdo. :* My weirdo.