Serious question here because I need advice: how do you stop feeling tired? I sleep enough and I don't like coffee. I'm seriously tired all the time and it's making me really stressed and irritable.

Dark wasn't with the others when they came which made Anti cry. A lot. His body was back to glitching an absurd amount and he was a trembling, sobbing mess but everyone was just glad he was alive. Henrik rubbed his back and let him cry into his chest again whilst the other egos just listened to what Anti had told him.

They nodded in understanding, making sure to remind Anti they didn't think any less of him because he had lost his desire to kill. Anti felt so pathetic. He was a demon and the murderous intentions were in his blood. He was so weak that he couldn't hurt people anymore. What had he become?

Dark eventually did show up.

"I want to tell him myself." Anti muttered, biting his lip as Henrik and the other egos left him alone with his boyfriend. Dark looked extremely concerned, especially when Anti had winced at the sight of him. The reason he had winced was because Dark was wearing the same suit from earlier; the same suit he had worn when he killed someone innocent. Blood was splattered on his chest. "You didn't even care enough to change before coming here..." Anti whispered, trying his best not to look at the blood.

"Hey, thought you'd be proud of me for locking another kill." Dark smirked but the smirk quickly became a frown when he saw Anti wasn't laughing.

"That person has a family. They didn't deserve to be killed." Anti kept his volume down, afraid of how Dark would react to his new found feelings.

Dark shrugged. "Who cares? I didn't know them and it were their fault for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I mean, who would just stand in a dark alley like that? It's the perfect opportunity to slice their-"

"Stop!" Anti yelled. He couldn't bear it anymore. His eyes scrunched shut and Dark was about to call Henrik but Anti didn't appear to display any signs of physical pain. "Imagine if JJ got killed. Chase. Marvin. You'd be upset, right?"

"I guess."

"Imagine if someone killed me."

"Anti, I don't-"

"You'd grieve. I'm important to you, right?" Dark nodded slowly. "Well someone out there has lost someone important to them because of you. You should feel guilty but you don't. You love it. You love that you've just made some family experience a terrible loss."

"Anti, what's going on with you? You know how fun it is. You know the adrenaline when-"

"Please stop talking about it. The reason I broke down, Dark... I put myself in the shoes of the victim and I can tell you now, it was horrible. It must have been if it caused Antisepticeye, the murderous demon, to feel emotions."

"This isn't you."

"I'm sorry, Dark but if you can't- can't accept me with these new feelings... I don't want to be with you. Having someone's death on your hands is so heavy. It is weighing me down and I never ever want to experience that pain again."

Dark looked up at Anti and slowly shook his head. He then disappeared into nothing.

Anti cried. Cried until his eyes stung. Cried until his cheeks were drenched. Cried until he didn't feel anything anymore.

When the other egos rejoined him in the room, he pretended they weren't there and just blocked them out. He wished he had died because... what reason did he have to live without Dark?

-

"Okay, fine," Anti muttered, holding out his arms. Once again, he found himself in the black room with the weird rainbow sky. "Kill me. Whatever."

He wasn't sure what he expected. It's not like someone was just going to rise from the ground, wielding a knife and then give him what he wanted and kill him. He blinked, somewhat surprised when nothing happened.

"That's why I have this dream, right? To die."

A low rumbling noise shook the room and almost knocked Anti off of his feet. A dark, grey mist filled the room for a moment until it revealed a person. The person was the man that gave him life: Seán McLoughlin.

"No, Anti. That is not why you have this dream. You have this dream so that you can become more aware about other people's feelings. I created you to be a heartless monster but your character is progressing into so much more than that. You have this dream so that you can realise what is truly valued in life and to help you realise you do not want to die. You have this dream to help you change into a better person."

Anti's body glitched as he backed up, his mouth slightly agape. He had no idea how to respond to that since he hadn't anticipated seeing his creator.

"I'm trying to teach you empathy. You know what that is, don't you?"

"I do."

"Good. That's progress. Dark will come back to you and if he doesn't, he is not worth it. Anti, you are so much more than the monster you think you are. You're becoming more and more human every day."

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm a demon, I don't-"

"Don't worry about that. You'll get used to these feelings. Until then, how about trying to be a bit more positive? Dark left you which suggests he wasn't suited for you. If he really loved you, he'd be more willing to sacrifice for you. This will allow you to find someone to truly accept you for who you are: Antisepticeye."

"I don't want anyone else. I want-"

"We can't always get what we want. You should treasure what you have... You have some amazing friends. I mean, Henrik... I don't know what you'd have done without him. And Chase, he rarely left your side even though the whole experience brought back a lot of memories he was trying to repress. JJ probably saved your life when he found you in the bathroom covered in your own blood. You have some amazing people in your life so you really need to stop focussing on what you don't have and focus on what you do have."

"Will you kill me already? Before I do it myself?" Anti reached into his pocket and pulled out his knife, running his finger up the blade. He couldn't help but grin as he thought about what was to come: maybe there was a part of him that still enjoyed a bit of violence.

"You will not die. For as long as you try, I will heal you." Anti raised an eyebrow, not seeing any truth in Seán's words. He pressed the knife into his neck, harsh enough to break into the skin. Seán clicked his fingers and, before Anti could comprehend what was happening, his knife was floating towards Seán and his neck was completely healed. "You need to understand and let this happen. Maybe one day Dark will go through this too. Then you can be human together."

"I don't want to be human! I'm not like you! I want to kill and to hurt and-" Unexpected tears filled his eyes. More people rose from the ground and he recognised most of them immediately. His victims. He let out a loud scream as they circled him, their eyes empty as they cried blood. "Make it stop!"

"Anti, this will all be over soon."

"Stop it now! I can't take this! Let me die! I didn't mean to hurt people. I just needed to feel something. Anything. Please! Go away! I want to wake up!"

"Open your eyes," Anti hadn't even realised his eyes were shut until he heard that command. He opened them up to reveal all of the victims had disappeared into thin air, leaving Seán in front of him, bent down on one knee with his hand held out. "So, what do you say? Do you want to be human again?"

Anti met Seán's eyes and was about to shake his head but he saw a shadow move behind the human. Fearful it was a victim coming back for revenge, he rapidly nodded, taking Seán's hand. His eyes scrunched shut and a tear made its way down his cheek.

"You won't have to hurt this bad anymore. I'll help you forget about the victims."

"Promise?" Anti sounded so pathetic and desperate but he didn't care. At that point, he'd do anything to escape the thoughts.

"I promise."

Okay remember I mentioned that song in the first chapter (Human Again, Kodaline)? I guess it is kind of suiting here as Anti is growing desperate and finding a desire to become human again.

The chorus of that song really does remind me of this book though:

I got a pain in my heart and a pain in my chest, I wanna be human again
I got a pain in my head, and I'm losing my breath, I wanna be human again
Human again, human again, human again
I wanna be human again (human again)

I mean... ANTI GETS A PAIN IN HIS HEAD

I'll leave you alone now bye