For JJ

Avoid

“Would you like me to undress, Master?”

AI…do you know how easy humans break?

They break so easily.

Fall so easily.

Cry so easily—and yet, they fall in love—

All too easily.

In the end, aren’t we just fragile glass pretending to be diamonds?

But—what’s wrong with being glass?

Why must we pretend to be diamonds?

_____________________

I heard the sound of glass shattering as soon as the words left AI’s lips.

My gaze snapped into focus and I scanned the room for glass shards.

“Master—Silas,” AI’s voice sounded so far.

“Please tell me if there’s anything I can do.”

I wondered why he hadn’t heard the sound of glass shattering.

“Did you hear that?” My voice cracked.

The beautiful droid smiled gently. “What is it that I am supposed to hear? The sound of your heart?”

AI’s smile broke into a cheeky grin at his tiny joke.

But all I could hear was more glass shattering.

“There—did you hear that? I think…it’s coming from upstairs—“

“Then, I shall not be long—please wait here, Silas,” He turned his back on me, and began to make small, light steps towards the door.

My eyes widened.

“AI—wait, I’ll go. You stay.”

His head fell to the side, as if confused.

“But Silas, you’re tired—“

“It’s fine. I’ll rest upstairs.”

For a moment, I caught a flicker of disappointment in AI’s orbs. As usual, he was quick to cover it—adjusting the slim frames on the bridge of his nose, hiding behind his mask.

He smiled.

“I understand, Silas. Please rest well,” He bowed his head gracefully, in a way that I couldn’t see his eyes.

I was out of there in a matter of seconds—I wonder if he noticed?

How my hands reached desperately for the door, and how my feet begged to slow down, to turn around.

I climbed the lonely stairs to the kitchen, wondering if Margaret was still interested in going to the dungeons.

Sorry Margaret.

Don’t think…I’ll ever be able to let you see what’s down there.

“YI! Where is the olive oil? How am I supposed to cook without olive oil?” I heard the chef before I saw him—smelt the food before I saw it.

Stepping into the bright kitchen and leaving behind the dark dungeons, I made sure to look as if I had entered by the door leading to the Great Room.    

The droid noticed me first, inclining his head. “Young Master, dinner will be ready soon, please wait in the hallway—“

“SOON MY ASS—Suoh, don’t listen to this pile of brains, he expects me to cook without my beloved olive oil!”

Carl, the chef, hit YI on the head with an empty pan.

“Ouch,” YI retorted with a straight face.

Carl rolled his eyes, tossing diced garlic into the frying pan.

“Carl, did something break just now? I heard the sound of glass shattering,” I asked, leaning against the island in the middle of the huge kitchen.

“Break? No.” The chef shook his head, adjusting his apron. “Nuffin’ broke.”

I felt my brows furrow, and clicked my tongue unconsciously.

“Tsk, fine.”

I proceeded to the door that led to the Great Room, only to be greeted by YI once again. “Please take care, Young Master,” He said, bowing once again.

“…Tch,” I responded, unentertained.

AI was much more beautiful. More graceful. More…human.

I trudged up the grand stairs carpeted in the middle with a bloody red.

It looked warm against the ice-white marble floor.

It wasn’t.

It was just pretending to be.

There was a sharp twist in my left chest, as though something pierced it.

I brushed it off.

Probably just the remaining shards of my broken heart.

Oh—so that’s what this is all about.

The sound of my heart breaking.

______________________

I yanked at the brass handle.

Locked.

Looks like Lucinda remembered to lock it this time.

Guess I ran out of luck.

Now what do I do with AI?

Dragging my feet towards the place I call ‘bedroom’, I couldn’t exactly tell the difference between the cold marble floor—and the bed back in my room.

_______________________

The foreign sense of emotion crashed over my entire being, drowning, enveloping.

So, I still had emotions?

You.

Where have you been the past five years?

Guess I might have thrown you away along the way.

I searched, grasped, for the right word in the endless sea to describe my loss, fear, sadness, despair—

And arrived at one.

Anger.

Its vicious monster clawed at my insides, sparks turning into flames, growls turning into roars—there was no longer glass in my heart.

What was left was an empty ruin.

A ruin of destruction, ablaze with tongues of heat and anger, but cold, void of anything living.

Arms swept, tables turned, frames cracked, paper flew, pictures torn, chairs flung—broken.

Was that all he was made for?

So this was his answer?

As to why he made something imperfect?

“FUCK YOU!”

______________________

“—Suoh!”

I rolled over, using the pillow to cover my icy ears.

“Suoh! Dinner!” Margaret’s voice came through the door, and I knew that she was tempted to burst in.

Besides, Lucinda forbid anyone to lock doors in the house.

Ironic huh?

When she’s done so herself.

Someone rapped their knuckles firmly on the door.

“Boy, I suggest you come down this instant or I will be taking your reluctance as defiance towards me.”

“And you know what happens when you defy me,” I heard the cruel smile in her voice, and guessed right away.

I sat up slowly, running a hand through the disheveled, crimson mess on my head.

The bed eased a sigh when I straightened up lazily, then sauntered to the door, cranking the lock before jerking it open.

.

I yawned in her ugly face.

“Disgusting. Get yourself down to the dinner hall now. We have guests.”

She glanced at my black t-shirt. “Wear something good.”

Then she left, heels clicking on the marble floor.

Margaret followed behind obediently, but not before casting a pitiful glance my way.

“It’s Lady Lowe,” She mouthed.

A hand went under my shirt to scratch a spot, while the other shot a middle finger.

______________________

“My, my, what a ravishing blazer My Lord,” The voice of a devil sounded as I entered the dining hall.

“Mm.”

“Haven’t you missed me? Why—I missed you dearly.”

“Nn.”

“My—you’ve grown taller. What sharp features—you resemble your father.”

For a second, I felt the burst of heat in my chest, and a fierce flame lit the back of my eyes.

I am not acquainted to that bastard of a father.

“Oh! Do sit by me, we have so much to talk about,” said the fiancé chosen by Lucinda.

I released my hold on one of the double doors, and it slammed shut.

The crystals on the chandelier above trembled.

“What strength,” Lowe giggled.

Dragging my feet to the seat beside her, I didn’t bother to take my hands out of my pockets as I sat on the velvet cushion.

“Suoh,” Step-mother Miranda said sternly, glancing at my hidden hands.

I sighed, and slipped them out just as there was a knock on the door.

ZI entered with a platter of ribs, followed by YI with a trolley.

RI closed the door softly after their entrance.

“Your dinner is served, Young Master,” said YI as he placed a deep plate filled with Aglio Olio pasta in front of me.

ZI cut the ribs into portions, placing an unnaturally equal amount on every single dish.

“Ah—I’m afraid I do not eat such huge slices of meat,” Lowe held up a hand as ZI was about to take her plate.

ZI paused, then nodded, backing away.

“Please, do help yourself, dear guests.”

The clinking of utensils against glass and ceramic sounded boringly through the dining hall, and everyone was eating at an annoying slow manner.

Carl’s dishes were amazing, as usual, but neither guest nor owner complimented the food they took for granted.

My knife sliced through meat, fork stabbing, sending a portion into my mouth.

There was something on my lap.

Lowe’s hand slid on my thigh, while her other swirled a wine glass slowly. She glanced at me sideways, batting her eyelashes.

I paused, wondering what she could possibly mean.

“My Lady,” I addressed, voice loud enough so that the rest of the table were in earshot, “your hand is on my thigh.”

__________________

“That was very rude of you,” Lowe said shortly after dinner.

“How—I mean, how so? My Lady.”

She dragged me out into the balcony, turning around to give a disappointed expression.

“Why, you are but my husband—“

“Since when were we married?”

“I am afraid you don’t have a choice, Suoh,” Came her clever reply, followed by a well-rehearsed smile. “And neither do I,” She added.

“Sure. Whatever,” I yawned. “Just keep your hands off me.”

Lowe laughed. “I see you don’t like my little joke.”

She received no reply.

“With a cold heart like yours, I wonder whoever can light a fire?” Lowe shook her head, smiling sadly.

I wonder.

___________________

[Next Day]

Sleep was like a merciless monster that clawed, scratched—and when I just wanted to have a rest, all that it gave me was an avalanche of nightmares, drowning me in darkness.

I was forced to choose between the cruelty of the real world, and the heartless void of nightmares.

And then I figured: It was the same either way.

Torture, pain—was inevitable.

.

“Margaret,” I caught my youngest step-sister in the garden, holding a butterfly net.

“Oh! Something the matter?” She swung it carelessly, missing.

“…Remember…when I said about the basement?”

Margaret dropped the tool in her hands immediately, a curious light in her eyes. “Yes! Yes. Yes I do, are you going to bring me there?”

My gaze rested on a pale rose bud.

“I have a favor.”

____________________

“A-Are you sure Mother wouldn’t find out?” Margaret asked, eyes worried. “How about that rat Lucinda?”

“I’ll guard the kitchen and keep Chef away,” I assured, handing her a cup of instant ramen and a pair of chopsticks. “Make sure you bring this down to him—you remember the password right?”

“Yes but—“

“I thought you wanted to see what’s down there?”

Margaret gulped.

“Yes…” Then she turned towards the shadows leading to the basement, but not before glancing back with a glare. “This better be worth it, Suoh.”

“Yeah yeah. Just—get it to him.”

“Fine…”

She began her descent down the stairs, and I watched as her figure disappeared behind the stone pillar.

“Margaret.”

“Yeah?”

“I owe you one.”

“Hmph, you do, indeed.”

I rolled my eyes, turning around to check the empty Great Hall, before closing the double doors of the kitchen and stood watch by the side.

_____________________

It had been five—five painful, cold, agonizing, and empty days since I last saw AI.

I remembered the last words I had said to him: You stay.

And of course, he did.

My feet itched to descend the dark stairs to the basement; eyes thirsted for the other pair of broken skies; ears longed to hear that voice; heart ached to reach, to embrace.

But my mind kept me behind locked doors.

The fear that began to eat me from inside out—the fear that he would once again, say those words that meant nothing to him, the fear that he saw me as the one he loved.

And the fear of reality—that I wasn’t. I wasn’t the one he loved.

It kept me rooted.

.

It was only until Margaret came running to me a week later—a pale horror written on her features.

“Th-that droid! He’s—“

I didn’t wait for her to finish her sentence.

Despite the void darkness—

Despite the chilled blood of my veins—

Despite the heart that was broken—

I broke into a dead sprint, knowing that somewhere, there was still a part of me that loved him.

___________________

A/N: I’m so sorry to leave it at another cliff hanger ;__; My exams end a week or two later, so don’t worry! The next one will be up in a jiffy. Besides, I managed to update in the middle of my exams D: *reaches up to pat my icing*

I hope Suoh’s feelings got through you :)

But perhaps you might have felt the same way before, too.

-Cuppiecake.