LIVELY POV

Why do people usually underrate the feeling of hopelessness over visible pain? Often, the things shrouded beneath the surface without the opportunity for healing are those that critically need concern, like the instinct that makes us assume a wounded man at an accident scene needs emergency treatment while automatically believing the one on their feet is fine until they fall.

We've limited the capacity of hopelessness to only despair when it consists of different chapters, containing all the horrific emotions one can experience but all in one simple feeling: pain, sorrow, depression, a broken mental compass, loneliness—the list could go on.

February 21, the day I feared my period was a week late. I was young but I wasn't naive. Seeing a doctor was out of my options, not only because I feared the questions that would follow but also because I could not pay out of my pocket and my family did not have health insurance. Even though I knew I needed guidance, I also, in some way, believed it was for the best. After school ended that day, which I had spent in the computer lab googling questions about a missed period and solutions and it all landed on one answer, I went to the farthest pharmacy from where I live, to the suburban side of town, where people like Aaron Wallace have vacation homes for the summer.

After that night last month, I had known he and I had gone back to being strangers living on different sides of the world. The likelihood wasn't a happy one, but it was how it was. I knew we shouldn't seek higher than our reach; I knew there were people of different grades and I made the wrong choice of taking the one too towering for me. I gave away my first to a stranger that only when it was too late, I got to know who he was.

Everyone talked of their first as beautiful memories, but in my experience, I couldn't dream of it like every hormonal teenager. Instead, I had stayed up through sleepless nights, crying with regret. I hated my body, I wrote it down in my journal, but when I tried to burn his baseball hat, I found myself unable to do it. My school had become a place where I was barely surviving ever since pictures of Aaron Wallace kissing me from the state championship game came out. I was no longer the girl who planned to crawl through high school. I ate lunch in bathrooms, called a slut in the hallways, and lived through at least two humiliating pranks every day.

I was exhausted each day before reaching home to my happy parents who knew nothing about my secrets. Mom was two months due with the twins who were my siblings and my grandma from my father's side had agreed to take us into her bigger home on the better side of town when they were delivered.

My family had plans for us, they had plans for me. Dad had been saving about thirty thousand for my college savings. I was going to study medicine, I was going to make them proud. But right there, fifteen-year-old me was holding a pregnancy test in an aisle in a pharmacy.

Please, God, hear my prayers this one time even if it is it. This can't be happening to me.

"What are you looking at?" a woman suddenly asked next to me that I wasn't aware of, and I jumped, trying to hide the thing in my hand but it ended up falling.

I still remember the worried look on her face and her brown hair gathered together in a bun.

We lowered at the same time to pick the thing but she was quicker. When she saw the product I was looking at, her eyes came to me and inspected me.

"Someone sent you for it or is it yours?" she had asked without judgment. She was an older woman, possibly in her forties.

"Uhm—" I didn't know if I should lie or ask for her assistance.

Somehow she understood it was mine, but that censure I expected didn't come. She handed it back to me and smiled reassuringly. "You know how to use it?"

Ashamed, my head lowered and I shook it.

"Do you need me to help?" She politely asked and I was taken aback by her kindness. It felt like she was my angel. A tear slipped from my eyes and I quickly wiped it, nodding.

"Oh, do not be nervous. The results aren't yet confirmed. Hopefully, it might turn out in your favor." She said, leading the way to the bathroom.

Her words were convincing while they lasted, but the result didn't turn out in my favor. For the first time, I was hopeless. I left the pharmacy knowing that it was all over.

***

When our shift was over by five, Sadie and I changed into our casual outfits and strolled through the gate of the country club, walking with my bicycle next to me while the luxurious cars of the VIP members drove through.

"Maybe one of these days we need to have some girl's day. Maybe a self-care day at the country club spa and salon. It will be fun being taken care of by employees here." She laughs, throwing a hand over my shoulder.

"It sounds like fun but I can't afford places like this. I need to save money," I tell her and she moans dramatically at my boringness I concur.

"I've got coupons for some discount. Come on you need it," she pleaded.

"I am sorry but no. I can't. We can do other things though. Maybe movie night at my place someday." I offered an alternative where money won't be wasted.

"Not dull but that's cheap. You've been getting bigger tips on the course and from the Wallaces, live for once." She pursues, giving my shoulders a light shake that causes me to laugh.

Then a horn interrupted our chat, which I was suddenly thankful for until I turned and found one of those grand sleek black cars with customized Wallace's license plates.

"Omg, he followed you?" She dragged in an excited breath next to me while I froze.

He was supposed to have traveled as he had mentioned.

I didn't respond, I was in my head when the driver, who's not Keenan, came out with respectful conduct and submission. "There is an order to drive you back to your place, Misses Kelby." He professionally informed me and opened the door to the rear of the car which likely would cost some number of houses on my street.

"Oh, she will go. I am taking this." Sadie quickly says in unrestrained elation, shoving me a little forward and seizing the bicycle from my possession while my brain processes Aaron's determination.

He had stood there and offered Bubble's treatment cost as though he deserved it. He shouldn't have any right over the child that existed in his absolute absence that he made a choice of. He might be the half part that helped produce Bubble but he wasn't a father. It is me and my parents who had been both parents and an unconditional loving family to that child. We will figure this out as we always do, just as Dad said.

"I will walk," I furiously let out and the man waiting for my response looked worried.

"You are not for real," Sadie muttered, scolding with her eyes.

"Please, Misses. My work is at stake for this." The man in formal black attire beseeched.

"Now that is a good reason not to be selfish," Sadie whispered in my ear, knowing that was my weakest point. I wouldn't want to be the cause of trouble for the man's job.

Giving in with a sigh, I turned to implore Sadie to look after my bicycle, but she beat me to it with a nod, assuring me, "It's in safe hands. Enjoy your fancy ride home," she teased, and I smiled.

My mind was reeling for most of the twenty-minute drive.

I thanked the driver as he opened my door again at the front of my home. Heading up the steps with my head down and ignored the curious eyes of neighbors.

With my nerves awakened, unlocking the front door took more than the necessary time it usually takes me, but everything worked out fine and I hurriedly stepped into the privacy of my home, clutching the strap of my backpack. What I didn't expect was to find a guest in my living room.

"Emersyn?" I muttered, frozen in my place. She looked over with that inherited beauty of the family she came from, her hair flawlessly sleek and shining.

"She's home," Mom said. She had also taken some days off from her second job to care for Bubble.

Emersyn, with a smile on her soft makeup face, got up and circled over to me, pulling me into a brief hug and blowing two air kisses on my cheeks.

How is she here?

"We're going to Paris and then Milan," she thrillingly shrugged at my stunned figure, making me feel like I'd stepped into the wrong timeline.

My confused eyes went to my parents, and they weren't objecting. Weirdly, they had approving smiles on their faces.

The last time I traveled, Mom threatened me with a lifetime of custody of my son.

"Livy," Bubble actively recognized me as he dragged his oxygen tank trolley that he was now adjusting to.

"Bubble." I returned equally as excited, and he giggled.
"You one to tea my toi," Bubble muttered gibberish while standing by Emersyn's legs, pulling on her hand with his free hand.

She smiled at me and lowered to her knees, coming close to his height. "Of course, I want to see your toys."

He smiled shyly as she tapped his nose with her finger and he reversed, running towards the back door.

"You understood him," I uttered, impressed.

"Of course. He is the cutest," she said and stood back up, rearranging her designer blazer and handbag.

I smiled.

"Come." Bubble waved her over. With a thrilled smile, she politely excused herself and followed him. It was considerate, I could have some time with my parents.

In the privacy, Mom scurried over then, "You didn't tell us Aaron Wallace asked you to marry him."

Okay! They knew.

"I was going to when Bubble feels better," I admitted with my head bowed. "I am sorry."

"Lively, this is something we all want for you. We want you to find love and a happy home," Dad said next to her. But the question is; will Aaron's home be a happy place for me?

The extent of hate his family has for me, mostly his parents whose involvement in his life is crucial and therefore swore to a lifetime of torment for me, should they not succeed in marrying their son to a woman of their painted portraits and I did become a wife of their perfect son.

My parents don't have to know that though. So I smiled and nodded.

"Emersyn said that the greatest Thomas Wallace passed to you the family heirloom," Mom in quiet excitement asked, and I smiled, pulling aside the zipper of my backpack and bringing out the ring that scares me sometimes at its beauty, history, and meaning. Knowing this is real, Aaron was mine and he's adamant about it.

"So this is the red beryl ring people talked of." Mom gasped when I held it out. She didn't take it from me, it was like she feared she could damage it or something. Her eyes came up to me and she snuggled into Dad's arms, heartily wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Aaron was here earlier," Dad said, and my smile slipped off, replaced by a mix of shock and apprehensiveness.

For what exactly if he knew I was at work? He couldn't have possibly offered to my parents what he'd suggested at the golf course, did he? Knowing they were clueless about his involvement in my past, they'd agree to it and then chaos would unleash, that prospect scared me to my gut.

I am not ready for Aaron to learn about Bubble. I do not know if I will ever be. Aaron, my parents, his family, Bubble—everyone will be affected by it, either positively or negatively. It's only been three weeks; what guarantees the steadiness of Aaron's feelings for me?
What if the revelation that he has a son makes him run away again? He has done that before and left me to gather the pieces of what he shattered. And what if he stays, and his family uses their power to take my son away from me? Say they didn't care—what if they hated him like they hate me? They wouldn't want to associate themselves with people from my background anyway, and I am half of what Bubble is. What if they ruin him just to construct a clean way for their son's future? These are people who are obsessed with keeping their reputation spotless and never once tarnished. Thinking only about the definite clutter Bubble's exposure will bring, we both know it will tremble the pillars of the Wallace name. Do I think they're the kind that will endure such negative publicity for Bubble's sake? No.

"Why—for what?" I stammered.

Mom's hand covered her tear-stained face. She mumbled in a happy, croaky voice, "Asking your father permission to be your husband and listing the joys he will offer you and the pain he will refuse you."

What?

And—and there I was fretting over the foundation of his feelings for me.

"He said that?"

Mom nodded at my glossy, wide eyes.

"Bug," Dad started over the distant laughter of Emersyn and Bubble coming from our small backyard. He briefly looked at the door to ensure that no one else was about to enter, and once he confirmed that he redirected his concerned attention back to me. "I know you haven't given many people a chance, but I believe that boy is what every parent will look for in a man for their daughter. Of course, if you agree, and are sure of your feelings."

"Look, you need to go, have fun, and meet his family," Mom said this time, surprising me. "It is for only two days, and he needs you there, he said it is important to him. I mean it is France and Italy, I will buy you a ticket if I can afford it. You deserve to see the world, my dear. You deserve everything."

"Bubble... I have to work to raise money faster. You know that," I reminded them. That was the plan, wasn't it?

"We are here to look after him. And you can't make two million within the weekend, Liv. But you can take a break. Look, your father and I did too." She smiled assuringly. "Go be a person of your age. Okay?"

***

The car came to a stop in a hangar. Through the window next to me, I could see several jets parked, including one with its door open and steps set up for boarding. Cabin crew members and two pilots in their uniforms were standing by the steps, prepared to welcome us.

"Let's go." Emersyn casually inclined her head in the direction of the plane, and I felt a ripple of happiness disperse through me.

My side of the car was opened by a man while Emersyn's chauffeur attended to her side, and we stepped out simultaneously. The man standing outside nodded in greeting, and I muttered a thanks while waiting for Emersyn to circle over.

Out here, the sun was setting, and my hastily gathered belongings, which I hoped were enough, were being transferred from the truck to the shiny white private jet awaiting us.

"Welcome, Misses Wallace," the crew members greeted Emersyn, and although they didn't know my name, they politely greeted me as well.

"My ass had begun to hurt," Dane Wallace said. I didn't expect he was traveling with us.

He was relaxing on the lounge, a cup of champagne on the desk in front of him as he was engrossed in using a laptop.

"Aww baby. Do you need to be breastfed?" Emersyn mocks him while she settles down with a sigh and when he peeks up at her, his eyes roll. I can't help but laugh at the playfulness between them.

Dane acknowledged me then. His jaws are as sharp as his stare but softness in his manners when he says, "Hi, Liv. It is nice to see you again."

Blushing, I took a seat in the comfy seat nearby, given everyone was seated and I might look like a nervous child on their first day of school. "Same too."

Other than my bicycle and a car, I've never been on any means of transportation in my 21 years of life until this summer when things changed like storm warnings in spring. Before, when people talked about trains, I watched them, imagining how it would feel standing on them at such gravity-defying speeds. I never thought I would be on a plane, let alone an elegant private one. I was nervous, sitting there. The nice hostess came over and helped me fix the seatbelts. She said she would come and tell us when to take them off so I could be comfortable. I only nodded appreciatively, finding my words leaving me.

For the first time, I experienced the feeling of a plane lifting off. It wasn't the same as a helicopter; it was somewhat steadier but still unsettling. The memory of Aaron holding my hand the other time came to mind, and oddly, it stayed with me as I went through the remainder of the takeoff process, almost unnoticed.

The journey wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, Dane and Emersyn were the only Wallace family members who didn't see me as less deserving of respect or their cousin. We'd chat periodically but I couldn't keep up involving myself in their banter, they were more like siblings than they both were with their very own families. It was admiring watching.

Four hours in the air, after we'd been served fancy food and Emersyn had gotten me and her into matching silky pajamas, the comfiest materials I've ever worn, she returned to the meeting area, opposite Dane who was back to using his laptop, when she gasped at the screen of her iPad. "Aunty Cynthia and Uncle Robert must be fuming."

Upon hearing those names mentioned, I paused the movie playing on the screen in front of me and became curious from my side of the lounge.

"When haven't those two fume?" Dane casually remarks without lifting his eyes from his laptop. He's been with that thing for too long, but he's so good at it that he can stay engaged with Emersyn while discussing business on phone calls. I wonder if Aaron is similarly occupied? We haven't spent enough time together for me to know. Perhaps it is what he meant when he said he couldn't show up the past few days.

"Aaron just made a statement," Emersyn turned the screen of her iPad to Dane who now seemed interested, and then to me while my heart started racing at what Aaron might possibly have said.

Emersyn didn't hesitate; she got off the seat and came over, dropping down next to me and folding her legs. She tapped to play the video that was uploaded nine minutes ago. It showed Aaron in France being escorted by guards to his vehicle outside the airport.

He carried himself with the grace befitting his birthright, an aura so prominent in the way he walked, dressed, and spoke—an unmistakable representative of his family's stature. His outfit was Wallace's traditional pressed tailored pants and shirt, fitting his body perfectly. His hair is neatly and attractively styled, and his hazel eyes fearlessly stare into the camera—I could feel it from here. My breath hitched.

Lost in thoughts of him as the video played, I didn't pay attention to what he was saying, except for the part where he confidently and directly mentioned my name, confirming he was with me at the hospital.

He did mean it, he did say it.

"He literally announced he gave you a ring," Emersyn observes me for some reaction. I was numb. "Now everyone would want to know who Lively Kelby is." She said it like she feared for me.

I feared for myself too.

**

We arrived in France at four in the morning there, luckily we had gotten some sleep, a couple hours for myself given even though Emersyn had advised me not to engage with the internet for a while, I still couldn't take my mind off the things in my life that could change. For instance, his family swore to ruin me, now it will be in public for everyone to tell. I was gambling with so much at stake, my father, mother, and most importantly, my son.

Aaron's cousins and I were transported in a Mercedes minivan to a huge palace-like hotel. If I weren't unnerved ever since Aaron's public statement, I would greatly admire the place because it's one of those beautiful things very few people in the world are able to experience.

Dane, Emersyn Wallace, and surprisingly, I, were welcomed honorably by the staff there, and our luggage—though Dane and Emersyn plainly didn't care—caught my attention as I noticed them being moved on bellman's carts. Upon stepping onto the marble floors underfoot in the majestic, opulent lobby of the elegant hotel, my eyes wandered in awe at the towering ceilings, all details meticulously curated to impeccable, sophisticated timeless beauty. My heart joyfully beat in my chest at the magnificence of being in France, until it fell on Keenan approaching us.

Aaron is possibly here too, the reminder had me smiling excitedly. I wanted to thank him first for standing to his words, for surprising me to be different than what I knew of him before.

"Welcome misses Kelby." The aged man smiled.

"Thank you." I smile back nervously, wriggling my hands.

"Okay, we'll see each other at the event later. I need quiet," Emersyn said, putting on tainted sunglasses and briefly hugging me before waving goodbye and walking off next to Dane with their guards behind.

"I'll lead the way," Keenan offered, allowing me to step forward.

"Is Aaron here?" I gently inquired as we walked through the spacious open lounging area.

"No, he's been up for a while now, preparing and making last-minute rehearsals for his exhibition, but you'll see him at the event," he informed me.

"Oh okay." I took a deep breath as we entered an elevator.

"I hope you had a good rest because the beauty team will be here to get you ready shortly once you settle in," Keenan said while we strolled down the carpeted hall.

"Beauty team?" I asked him as he stopped to unlock a certain door.

"Upon Mister Wallace's order, Misses Kelby," he informed me.

"I have brought my things—" I started. Not wanting to be a burden. Mom had prepared everything for me just in case, but I fell silent at the smile Keenan gave me.

Embarrassed, I chewed my lip. He probably knows that what I have isn't suited for what Aaron needs. The door he opened exemplified that. The room was three times the size of my entire house, if not more. There was a canopy bed and royal sofas, and one of them had a white dress shirt carelessly thrown onto it. Warm lighting, heavy curtains, ornamental gold and white ceiling design, carved walls, vintage artwork—all these details overwhelmed me.

From here, I could see that my things had already arrived; it was a relief.

"Have a good rest, Miss Kelby," I heard Keenan say behind me, and I swiftly turned to see the door closing, leaving me alone.

Quiet enveloped the room. My legs, possibly shaking, carried me deep into the space to my luggage first. It had arrived safely. On the nightstand, I spotted the luxury brand wristwatch Aaron wears. He's staying in here too. Smiling, I walked over to it and fell back onto the soft bed with royal linens, sighing. I could fall asleep easily. My head glided to the side, and my eyes met a small card atop a slim crimson square case. I sat up. The expensive-looking box bore the name Wallace. I picked up the note immediately, opening it to read.

"Thank you for coming, baby. Sorry, I had to do this the old-fashioned way, but I needed you here and I knew your parents would convince you to come and have fun better than I can. See you later,"

Yes, apparently.

A smile plastered on my face as I took the crimson box and opened it. Inside was a beautiful necklace with twinkling stones, not very loud, but something I would feel myself in.

He knew me better than I thought.

I couldn't rest, so to start preparing, I took a shower in the bathroom that suited the criteria of the hotel. There were robes and towels available, but what would be better than the smell of Aaron? I slipped into the shirt he left on the sofa; it felt like home.

Alone then in the huge room, I wore the necklace and looked into the mirror at how beautiful it looked on me. I danced, laughed, and felt on top of the world until interrupted by the team of stylists as Keenan had given notice. They'd probably knocked, and I didn't hear.

Awkward and embarrassed, I froze in place in the shirt reaching my thighs as I watched the scene in front of me.

Suddenly, trolleys with a variety of dresses were being pushed in, accompanied by unfamiliar faces who carried a kind demeanor that put me at ease and treated me with dignity. It was a new experience I had never encountered but it was a good feeling overall.