NOT TO SOUND EDGY

i knew that this year a lot would change
but it's my entire life i've had to rearrange
i knew that with time we'd all grow up
but i cant help feeling like i'm not good enough

i pick apart my flaws
so i can be a better me
putting happiness on pause
so there's none for you to see

i know it sounds annoying when i say
"i don't think i'll be okay"
so i shut my mouth so you don't judge
cuz i don't ever think anyone likes me very much

i don't know what i'm doing wrong
i've been sad but not this sad all along
i don't know where i'm supposed to go
i'm scared, i don't see anyone here i know
i don't know what i can even say
not to sound edgy, but i'm not ok

scrolling through my timeline, eyes full of tears
i'm left thinking about all these wasted years
seeing everyone out with their friends
but i guess it's my own fault that i'm alone in the end

some people say that i've just got this vibe
the kinda one that makes you wanna cry
some people say that i'm too depressing
and they don't know how it feels, i'm guessing

i know you roll your eyes when i say
"i can't make it through today"
so i turn my head so i can't see
strangers and my friends making fun of me

i don't know what i'm doing wrong
i've been sad but not this sad all along
i don't know where i'm supposed to go
i'm scared, i don't see anyone here i know
i don't know what i can even say
not to sound edgy, but i'm not ok

everyone around me is changing
but i've stayed the same
living life has become so draining
and i have myself to blame

i don't know what i've been doing wrong
i've been sad but not all along
i don't know where to go
i don't see anyone i know
i don't know what i can say
and not to sound edgy, but i'm not ok

A/N
This is a song/poem I wrote a few years ago but I still wanted to post it because it means a lot to me :)