UGLY

there are red spots across my face
and each of them are out of place
forehead is the size of a state
and my hairline isn't even straight

i delete every picture i post
you see it once, see it twice no more
i'm a four out of ten at the most
i mean just look at all of my pores

i have flaws
i see them all
honestly i'm a hopeless cause
i'm too small
a face too round
i blend in with the dirt on the ground

little insecurities
those are all i see in me
battling obscurities
imperfections in 3D
and all because i'm ugly

and i can't reach the top cabinet
so i'm climbing on the counter
funny, i'm my own antagonist
wanna cry every time i shower

i have flaws
i see them all
honestly i'm a hopeless cause
i blend in with the dirt on the ground

little insecurities
those are all i see in me
battling obscurities
imperfections in 3D
and all because i'm ugly

my nose is kinda crooked if you look real close
bottom lip is disproportionate i suppose
a stomach with abs is a funny joke
and just my height will leave me forever alone

stupid insecurities
those are the things that break me
meaningless obscurities
are the only things i see

i know it's not just me
we're all insecure
we see our flaws and nothing more
all of us are similar
when we look in the mirror
all i see
is ugly

THERE BETTER BE HOPE

i keep to myself in the hallways
eyes focused on the ground
telling myself "this is just a phase"
waiting for happiness to come around

i hate to live up to the stereotypes
a teen giving up on his paradise
sorry if i dampen the mood
i don't mean to come across so rude

when the nights are cold
and loneliness is getting old
"it's okay" i was told
but all these lies are getting old

there better be hope on the other side
i better see a future shining bright
and i'm trying to hold onto my pride
wiping my tears under the moonlight
there better be hope on the other side
i better laugh with a smile wide
there better be hope on the other side
because if there isn't, i might just die

you know, i stopped sharing my opinions
started biting my tongue
you know that i know no one will listen
i forgot what it feels like to be young

when the days are long
and i don't think i can go on
i stayed up past dawn
wishing these feelings would be gone

there better be hope on the other side
i better see a future shining bright
and i'm trying to hold onto my pride
wiping my tears under the moonlight
there better be hope on the other side
i better laugh with a smile wide
there better be hope on the other side
because if there isn't, i might just die

my family life has never been easy
and school is just a long story
body issues make me cry weekly
and i don't see my own category

there better be hope on the other side
and i'm trying to hold on tight
there better be hope on the other side
and i better hold on for the ride
there better be hope on the other side
because if there's none, why should we try?

THE END

i'm the loser kid at school
keep my head down is my only rule
compliance always makes me used
i'm all alone and i'm confused

my hands are shaking as i write this
i can't see through my tears
if i quit there's so much that i'll miss
but nobody will really care

if this is all life has to offer
why should i even bother?
i see a half full glass of water
and it's empty to me

the book is over
no more pages to turn
there's no growing older
it's time to watch the room burn
i'm sorry that there's no closure
but i guess now it's all over
cause the end is near
the end is here

i have no life outside of school
survive the day is my only rule
my kindness always gets used
i'm left like this and i'm confused

if this is all life has to offer
why should i even bother?
i see a half full glass of water
and it's empty to me

the book is over
no more pages to turn
there's no growing older
it's time to watch the room burn
there's no closure
now it's all over
cause the end is near
the end is near
the end is near
the end is here

no matter where i go
there's no place to call home
"some edgy loser" is how i'm known
you think you care, i know you don't
think you can help? no you won't

since the book is over
with no pages left to turn
there's no growing older
watch the room burn
sorry there's closure
but i guess now it's all over
cause the end is near
the end is near
the end is here

SOME DAYS

i hate to sound like a crybaby
cause it's all i've been lately
but it's just my stupid mind
and the happiness i can never find

i'm staying up past midnight
wondering if i'm alright
cause i feel nothing inside
don't know what it's like to feel alive

i don't have time for the things that i love anymore
i'm busy stressing about things and i don't know what for
i'm scared of missing out on what should be a happy life
and if this is it what's the point in even trying to survive?

some days i all can do is hate myself
going home, crying and feeling overwhelmed
some days i don't care about anything at all
enjoying the relief before the next day i fall
some days i laugh and smile with hope in my eyes
those days feel good til i remember they're all lies
and i'm so tired of all of this when i've got nothing in my life

everything about me is a mess
a disorganized ruckus in my head
i just wanna go to bed
i don't wanna feel dead

i don't have time anymore
cause i'm busy stressing for
missing out on a happy life
and if this is it why should i survive?

some days i all can do is hate myself
people always blame themselves
some days i don't care about anything at all
apathy has become my default
some days i laugh and smile with hope in my eyes
and those days feel good but they're all lies
and i'm so tired of all of this when i've got nothing in my life

i ruin my own life
and i wanna say i'm fine
i tell you i'm alright
but maybe that's a lie

some days i hate myself
feeling overwhelmed
some days i don't care at all
that's when i start to fall
some days you'll find hope in my eyes
but remember they're all lies
and i'm so tired of all of this when i've got nothing in my life

LATELY

saying the same things over and over
cause nothing ever seems to change
i'm wishing for this to all blow over
i can't handle if life stays the same

when the lights flicker on in the morning
i've started to get a little bit nauseous
knowing it'll be another day that's boring
but what do i do if there's no other option?

these days i've been running wild
looking around for my old smile
these days i've been sleep deprived
searching around to find nothing inside

lately, lately i've been sad
no matter where i go, a feeling, it won't leave
lately, lately i've been bad
i've been looking up and finding no one to see
lately, lately i've been mad
thinking about all the wasted things i could be
lately, lately i've been glad
cause lately, there's no life to have

i started writing a journal hoping it'd help
spending half an hour with tears spilling down
i figured maybe it'd fix my awful mental health
but i found that those tears are what make me drown

these days i've been running wild
looking around for my old smile
these days i've been sleep deprived
searching around to find emptiness inside

lately, lately i've been sad
but it's my own fault so i'll just shut my mouth
lately, lately i've been bad
cause i hate the goddamn people in this town
lately, lately i've been mad
i keep falling back to stupid self doubt
lately, lately i've been glad
cause lately, there's no life to have

i wanna talk to you but i'm scared you don't
i wanna make friends but you all won't
i wanna start living this life i was given
but i end up keeping myself hidden
i wanna talk to you but i know you don't
think i'm wrong? prove it, i know you won't
sometimes i hate this life i was given
and the only way to keep safe is being hidden

lately, lately i've been sad
no matter where i go- a feeling, it won't leave
lately, lately i've been bad
i've been looking up and finding no one to see
lately, lately i've been mad
thinking about all the wasted things i could be
lately, lately i've been glad
cause lately, there's no life to have

lately, lately, lately
lately, i've been sad
lately, lately, lately
lately, i'm doing bad
lately, lately, lately,
lately, i've gone mad
lately, lately, lately
lately, i've given up

GOOD ENOUGH

no matter how sweet the words
by my heart they won't be heard
no matter how tight the hug
it's my own grave i've dug

i stand up and fall back down
living life with a frown
try my best and give up
i see a half empty cup

there's something wrong with me
something you all can't see
i think it's in my mind
so you all see it blind
there's something wrong with me
oh what could it be?

cause i never feel good enough
especially when the roads are rough
no one can ever get it through my head
that there's more to life than being dead
i never feel good enough
someone make my thoughts shut up

on the outside i look fine
but the sun never seems to shine
i don't come across depressed
but with mistakes? i'm obsessed

FACETUNE AND CRY

we facetune and cry
look in the mirror, wanna die
wear a sweatshirt in june
cover up, hide away our wounds

we hate how we look
use terms like "shook"
blame it on our generation
then cope with the sweet sensation
we give up our try
then facetune and cry

DEAR FUTURE

did you pass that test i've been worrying about?
please tell me you started getting out of the house
did you find that happiness that lately you've been out?

is there any special someone in your life?
i know you have trouble letting them inside
i hope you've found someone to kiss you goodnight

i hope you got that dog that you never had
i hope you finally get to see your dad
i hope you open up when you're feeling bad
i hope you have the life i wanna have

dear future, sometimes i wonder if you're real
cause i hate the way i feel
dear future, please tell me that i've healed
cause i dunno if i can deal
if dear future, if you're not real

did you finish the stuff i've been stressing about?
please remember to clean up around the house
you know your youth is running out

i hope you got that dog you never had
i hope you finally get to see your dad
i hope you open up when you're feeling bad
i hope you have the life i wanna have

dear future, sometimes i wonder if you're real
cause i hate the way i feel
dear future, please tell me that i've healed
cause i dunno if i can deal
if dear future, if you're not real

man, you need to get your act together
cause every day i've gotta be better
i have to ignore all of the pressure
and my future is what i have to remember

dear future, are you real?
i hate the way i feel
dear future, have you healed?
you know i can't deal
if dear future, if dear future
if you're not real

CAN'T SLEEP

i can't sleep in an empty bed
with so many doubts rushing through my head
the thought of morning makes me dread
what the next day will have ahead

turn the music on and dance to the beat
listen to the melody, it's so sweet
stare out the window, watch the sun rise
sneak out at midnight to get some fries

i get tired and i stay up
i never know when i've had enough
can't sleep so i drink caffeine
what the hell is wrong with me?

reading a book, awaiting a chapter
sometimes i wonder what my mind is after
when i'm delirious with unexplained laughter
does anybody have an answer?

i get tired and i stay up
i never know when i've had enough
can't sleep so i drink caffeine
what the hell is wrong with me?

i'll change my whole room out of boredom
but only i know how to sort em
no one to talk to, they're not awake
but they will be soon, i can see the daybreak

i can't sleep at night
and i dunno why
so frustrated i wanna cry
sleep is hard to come by

i get tired and i stay up
i never know when i've had enough
can't sleep so i drink caffeine
what the hell is wrong with me?

i get tired so why don't i sleep?
there's no self control i can keep
can't sleep so i give up
i never know when i've had enough
what the hell is wrong with me?

ANOTHER SAD SONG

another friday night and i'm watching tv
scrolling through my phone and it's kinda funny
how did i end up here?
can i just disappear?

all my friends are out having fun
lose em all one by one
yeah i don't have anyone

sorry if i'm bothering you
i've got no one to turn to
no matter how, in the end
i'm all by myself again

so here's another sad song
and the broken hearted can sing along
call me predictable cause that's my name
and all of my music sounds the exact same
so here's another sad song
about how my love life's going wrong
call me a loser cause it's the truth
i can't believe this is my youth

i don't know how it happened
but i'm all alone
can feel my sanity cracking
will someone please pick up the phone?

and around these parts of town
for me? there's nobody to go around
my friends say that that's not true
i laugh and say "then tell me who?"

sorry if i'm bothering you
i've got no one to turn to
no matter how, in the end
i'm all by myself again

so here's another sad song
about how all my patience's done and gone
call me annoying, i know you're right
i just wish i didn't have to be cold at night
so here's another sad song
about how my love life's going wrong
call me a loser cause it's the truth
is this really how i have to spend my youth?

and it just sucks, there's nothing i can do
every day my friends have somebody new
i'm never gonna find that kinda love where
my heart beats fast and it's fun being scared

so here's another sad song
about how i'm never gonna belong
call me pathetic and i'll agree
i never thought this'd be my epitome
so here's another sad song
about how my love life's going wrong
call me a loser cause it's the truth
i know i'm a loser, it's because of you