This one had been in my drafts for a year and I almost completely forgot about it if not for the latest patch in Honkai: Star Rail. 

So this one is set after the version 1.5 patch ( A Foxian Tale of the Haunted). I know, I know it had been so long since then. A lot of things was going on IRL. This story was done like months ago and only needed some add on and few tweaking and I only managed to get it done now. I have a lot of ideas but I honestly don't know how to arrange them so, it might be a bit confusing. 

Also english is not my first language, so please forgive any strange grammar you might see. Thank you so much

Hope you guys enjoy reading!

𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨

Everyone had left.

Like an unexpected storm that arrived without warning and departed just as quickly, their presence lingered only in the aftermath—scattered remnants serving as silent testimony to the fierce battles that had just unfolded.

Jingliu had been escorted by the Cloud Knights to Yuque, where she awaited her sentence.

After his intense fight with Jingliu at Scalegorge Waterscape, Blade had vanished without a trace. Head Diviner Fu Xuan later confirmed that the Stellaron Hunter had left the Loufu some time ago.

Dan Heng, too, had departed Loufu, accompanying the Astral Express Crew. As he bid farewell, there was a distance in his gaze, lost in contemplation, still grappling with the recent revelations about his past incarnation.

Yanqing stood sullenly at Scalegorge Waterscape, kicking a stone scattered in the ruins. Since that day, his mind had been in turmoil, so preoccupied with the events that he couldn't even appreciate the battle between two legendary figures of the Xianzhou.

He knows that he shouldn't have left his post so recklessly, not when everyone else was busy trying to restore order in the Loufu. The General didn't deserve to bear any more burdens, especially after only just recovering enough from his injuries to work again. But Yanqing didn't know what to say, or how to face him. It... it felt suffocating.

For as long as he could remember, Yanqing had always looked up to Jing Yuan. To him, the General wasn't just a mentor; he embodied everything Yanqing aspired to be. Their bond had grown deeper over the years, built on camaraderie and mutual respect, more like close family than simply master and disciple.

Which is why it was easy for Yanqing noticed the subtle changes in Jing Yuan's demeanor.

Jing Yuan's calm façade might fool others, but Yanqing, being closest to him, saw the signs. Since the departure of the former members of the High Cloud Quintet, he had watched Jing Yuan's shoulders stiffen in quiet moments, his fists clenching so tightly that his nails dug into his palms—wounds left behind from grasping at something just out of reach.

Yanqing struggled to understand the heavy emotions weighing on him as he watched the General suffer in silence. He wanted to help but respected Jing Yuan's need for solitude, so he stayed quiet, hoping the General might open up. Yet, Yanqing knew this was unlikely; Jing Yuan still saw him as a child, especially after the incident where he had been easily possessed by Heliobus. Though he had overcome the possession and vowed never to waver again, he felt exposed and unworthy. He doubted how Jing Yuan could trust someone who faltered so easily when the General remained strong through every crisis.

That's why Yanqing kept his distance, watching from the sidelines rather than stepping forward. He didn't want to burden Jing Yuan further with his own uncertainties. Instead, he focused on his duties as the Lieutenant of the Cloud Knights, following orders with precision and dedication. He made sure to handle every task efficiently, taking on whatever he could to lighten the General's load.

Yanqing looked up at the statue of the Vidyadhara High Elder from millennia ago and let out a sigh, feeling worn out and at loss.

In truth, he could never fully understand the General, even though he was the closest person to him. Yanqing wouldn't admit it openly—and he might even deny it if asked—but he knew there were parts of Jing Yuan that remained a mystery to him. Despite their close bond, he found understanding Jing Yuan to be harder than mastering new sword techniques or figuring out chess. There seemed to be more to the General than what he showed to others.

He couldn't help but reminisce about one particular sparring session shortly after he had joined the Cloud Knights. He had been sprawled on the ground, gasping for breath after yet another intense bout. Despite his youth, Jing Yuan had never taken it easy on him with the sword. As he lay there, catching his breath, Yanqing had pestered Jing Yuan with questions about the Xianzhou Alliance's storied battles against the Plagues Author's forces to pass the time.

"About your rank within the Cloud Knights, with your skills you don't have to start as the lowest rank knight." Jing Yuan suddenly shifted the topic.

Yanqing shrugged, unfazed. "I already know there's been a lot of criticism about me joining the Cloud Knights at such a young age. It's fine; I don't mind."

Jing Yuan smirked, teasing, "With my authority, just one word and I can give you a much better position, you know?"

"That's called abusing your power, General," Yanqing said as he sat up with a pout. "Besides, I want to earn my place and prove myself through hard work."

Jing Yuan looked at him thoughtfully. "Your conviction will lead you to a slower path. Are you certain?"

"It doesn't matter, General. It's the right thing to do to prove myself as a sword master." Yanqing spoke with a youthful confidence.

"The right thing to do, you say." Jing Yuan mumbled, a hint of longing in his voice, but he still smiled at Yanqing as he ruffled his hair, making Yanqing grumble. "Though it's a path filled with challenges, if you keep up, you would also go much further. I remember there was a time when I wished for the same..."

"Is that no longer the case, General?"

Jing Yuan shook his head. "I've gotten too old to chase after such things, and I also have far too many responsibilities in the Loufu and the Xianzhou Alliance at the moment. Now, I can only seek the path that would benefit the Loufu."

Yanqing couldn't understand it back then, being younger and completely fixated on the sword. But what struck him was the longing in the General's expression as he spoke those words. It bothered Yanqing so much that from that day forward, little by little, he slowly began to see the General as more than just a master to respect and idolize, but as a person beyond his titles and duties.

Just when he realized that he didn't know anything about the General's past beyond what most people knew, a series of incidents began to unfold. It started with the Stellaron Hunter sneaking into the Loufu. Where Yanqing saw Blade for the first time in the shackled prison. Despite Jing Yuan's typically domineering general appearance, his voice was stained with sadness and expectation during the interrogation.

Next, Yanqing crossed paths with Jingliu while pursuing Blade, who had escaped from the Shackling Prison. This encounter added more tension to his mission. Despite his eagerness to prove himself, Yanqing lost to Jingliu and failed to capture her. For someone as confident in his swordplay as Yanqing, this defeat was a significant blow.

The situation worsened with the emergence of the Sanctus Medicus. Meanwhile, Yanqing continued his pursuit of Blade, leading to intense battles with Blade and Dan Heng. Yet again, Yanqing faced defeat and was ordered by the General to retreat. The situation reached its peak with the appearance of Phantylia, the Emanator of Destruction.

Amidst these events, Yanqing struggled with feelings of inadequacy and frustration. Each defeat shook his confidence, leaving him overwhelmed and disheartened. Later, as he sat by Jing Yuan's bedside, he found no peace. His sleepless nights were not just because of the General's injuries but also due to the realization that Jing Yuan had been prepared to face death in his battle with Phantylia. The weight of this truth was almost too much to bear.

Yanqing was no stranger to war and death; he had faced countless battles with the abomination of abundance and witnessed many losses. Yet, seeing Jing Yuan so gravely wounded and knowing the General had been prepared to sacrifice himself shook him deeply.

Now he stood at the very place where the former High Cloud Quintet had been reunited under such unfortunate circumstances. Yanqing unsheathed his swords, determined to replicate each move Blade and Jingliu had executed during their battle. He began with a swift, horizontal slash, mirroring Blade's deadly precision. His movements were sharp and deliberate, each swing echoing the strikes he had witnessed.

He shifted into a defensive stance, mimicking Jingliu's fluid footwork as she evaded Blade's attacks. Yanqing practiced a series of rapid thrusts, aiming to capture the graceful aggression of Jingliu's style. With each step, he pivoted smoothly, blending offense and defense with practiced ease.

With every swing and thrust, Yanqing's frustration as he remembered after everything was over with Jingliu being escorted away, how Jing Yuan asked him to forget about what happened, and then Dan Heng assured him that Jing Yuan was only trying to protect him. Yanqing realized that the disputes among the High-Cloud Quintet were too complex for him to fully understand.

He was far too weak to fight alongside the General and far too young to be entrusted with such burdens.

𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨

As the evening deepened, Yanqing found himself restless and unable to sleep despite the physical exhaustion from his duties and his impromptu sword practice. His aimless wandering led him to the garden, where the dim light faintly illuminated the path.

The familiar walk through the garden brought a sense of calm to Yanqing until he noticed a figure seated by the table under the ginkgo tree.

Jing Yuan sat there, lost in thought.

Late nights overwhelmed by work were nothing new for the General, but tonight was different. Instead of being surrounded by piles of documents, a chessboard occupied the space in front of him. He sat silently, contemplating the arrangement of the pieces, where white had triumphed over black. Jing Yuan's gaze lingered on the board as if he were trying to burn the image into his memory. Before long, he began to rearrange the pieces, setting up the board for yet another solitary game.

With methodical precision, he alternated between placing the white and black pieces, repeating the game over and over. Despite employing different strategies each time, the result remained unchanged.

Yanqing lingered by the moon gate, watching from afar. He knew he should give the General space to sort out his thoughts, but something kept him from leaving. He couldn't turn away.

Why does he keep replaying the same game? Yanqing wondered, his chest tightening with a mixture of concern and curiosity. What is he trying to find? A solution? A sense of control? Yanqing knew the feeling all too well—those moments when you try to wrestle with an impossible outcome, hoping that, somehow, repetition might yield a different result. It was a quiet battle, one not fought with swords but with the mind.

Watching Jing Yuan labor over the chessboard, Yanqing felt a pang of helplessness. He wanted to offer something—anything—to ease the burden he saw weighing on his mentor's shoulders. Yet, he hesitated. What could he, a mere child, do for someone like the general?

By the twelfth repetition of the game, Yanqing could no longer bear to watch. As Jing Yuan began to reset the board once again, Yanqing, unable to resist the urge, slipped inside the house and returned moments later with a package in his arms.

"General," Yanqing finally called out, breaking the silence. "Care to join me for a drink?" In his hand, he held one of Jing Yuan's prized bottles of wine—a gesture intended to make his approach feel less awkward. Even though Jing Yuan was deeply absorbed in his thoughts, he hadn't failed to notice Yanqing's stiffness as he spoke.

Jing Yuan feigned a frown, countering the gesture. "But you don't like drinking."

Yanqing flinched, momentarily at a loss. Jing Yuan's amused look made him feel embarrassed. "I... I just felt like drinking tonight!" he said, attempting to sound his usual bratty self.

Jing Yuan's amusement lingered as Yanqing stood blushing. "Is that so?" Jing Yuan asked, a hint of a smirk on his lips.

Yanqing hesitated, the weight of the moment hanging in the air. After a brief pause, he cleared his throat. "Well, I thought tonight could use a change of pace," he said, trying to sound casual despite his nervousness.

"Very well, Yanqing." Jing Yuan's amusement softened into something resembling fondness. "If you're in the rare mood for a drink, who am I to refuse?"

To avoid further teasing, Yanqing swiftly sat next to Jing Yuan, poured two glasses of wine, and handed one to the General. They clinked their glasses together, and Yanqing took a hesitant sip, attempting to appreciate the wine's rich flavor. He couldn't help as his face momentarily contorted in discomfort. The wine's complexity was too much for him, and he subtly grimaced, hoping Jing Yuan wouldn't see.

The night air was cool, and the soft glow of lanterns added a serene ambiance to the garden. Yanqing tried to focus on the calm surroundings as he thinks of possible topics to talk about, but coming up with nothing. He could only take another sip, hoping to mask his awkwardness.

Jing Yuan broke the silence with a teasing tone. "So, have you finally decided to stop avoiding me, Yanqing?"

Yanqing's eyes widened in surprise, and he nearly choked on his wine. "I wasn't avoiding you, General!" he protested, but his quick response betrayed his discomfort. In reality, Yanqing had been keeping his distance from Jing Yuan for the past few weeks, making excuses to avoid one-on-one time outside of their official duties and sword practice. "I've just been busy."

Jing Yuan's gaze sharpened with skepticism. "Busy, you say? Is that why you've been absent from the Divine Foresight, and haven't been around to pester me about new swords?" His raised eyebrow suggested he wasn't buying Yanqing's excuse, and Yanqing knew that Jing Yuan had seen through his act.

Desperate to offer a better explanation, Yanqing scrambled for words. "I've been helping out, even if I haven't been there in person! You know how chaotic things have been since the Ambrosial Arbor incident. Despite Diviner Fu's best efforts, there's still so much that needs attention. And the knights—oh, you wouldn't believe how disorganized they've become! They really needed someone to crack the whip."

Jing Yuan's eyes twinkled with amusement as he listened, clearly enjoying Yanqing's passionate defense.

At first, Yanqing just wanted to come up with an excuse, but as he continued talking, he ended up detailing his recent activities to the General. He described how he had been organizing the knights' reports, managing smaller cases that had been delegated to lower-ranked officials, and dealing with the incompetence of some knights who couldn't even fill out their reports correctly. As he vented about the knights' mishaps, Jing Yuan listened quietly, his expression shifting to a faint smile as the corners of his lips turned upward.

Yanqing abruptly stopped, caught off guard. It struck him that this was the first genuine smile he had seen from Jing Yuan in months.

Jing Yuan's smile, though subtle, was like a warm beacon in the dimly lit garden. He gestured for Yanqing to continue, his expression encouraging and attentive. Yanqing felt a pang of relief mixed with a tinge of regret as he continued to tell him about the past few weeks. It was comforting to see the General smiling, but it also reminded him of how much he had missed these moments of genuine connection.

It felt like a harsh wake-up call. 

Despite all his claims of living up to the General's expectations and his desire to be someone Jing Yuan could truly rely on; Yanqing had failed to offer support in the most straightforward and meaningful way.

"And that's everything I have to report, General," Yanqing concluded, hoping Jing Yuan wouldn't be put off by the way the conversation had unintentionally turned into a detailed update.

"Hmm," Jing Yuan responded, taking another sip of his wine. "Good job, then. I guess Diviner Fu has her hands full with the extra paperwork while I was recuperating." He offered a reassuring smile to Yanqing. "I have full confidence that you've handled everything efficiently even without my direct oversight, and I appreciate the excellent work you've done."

Yanqing nodded absentmindedly. Normally, he'd be pleased by the General's trust, but at that moment, he couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt that weighed on him. The truth was, he had taken on those tasks partly to avoid Jing Yuan, only to realize now that he could have offered some comfort if he had been present.

He glanced at the General, who had fallen into a thoughtful silence, intently studying the chessboard. Yanqing's chest tightened with a mix of regret and sadness.

"Still," Jing Yuan said, breaking the silence, "I'm glad to hear you're managing well."

Yanqing blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

Jing Yuan looked up and continued, "You shouldn't be too hard on yourself. I expected you might be feeling down about the Heliobi Incident. Don't let it weigh you down too much."

Yanqing blinked, trying to process the General's words.

He felt a mix of conflicting emotions swirling within him—frustration, guilt, and a pang of resentment towards himself. How could the General be so considerate when Yanqing had been so distant? It seemed unfair that Jing Yuan's concern was directed toward him, when he had been the one failing to be there for the General.

Normally he would bask in the General's kindness and attention, but right now it was pissing him off for some reason. General Jing Yuan is always thinking of others yet always ignoring his own problems.

The General had always concealed his true feelings behind his strength and unwavering commitment to his duties. Yanqing had observed this pattern and understood that the General seldom allowed his own vulnerabilities to surface.

Back then, and even now, Jing Yuan held his former comrades in the highest regard, cherishing them as treasures despite their physical distance and the passage of time. For them, however, those memories were but echoes of a past they had long moved beyond in pursuit of their own goals. Jing Yuan understood that clinging to the shadows of the past could only bring pain, yet his commitment and sincerity remained unwavering. Yet he never spoke a word of how he felt.

Grief was not a consequence of loss, but rather love living on, persevering. And Jing Yuan was a testament to this enduring affection.

Suffering and enduring things on his own without uttering a word.

Now Yanqing understand a little why he was getting frustrated at the General's actions. If Jing Yuan want's something, why can't he just get it? If he wanted his friends to stay, why did he just watch and let them leave without saying anything?

Yanqing does not know what truly happened in the past, but he can't help but resented the General's former comrades for abandoning him. How could they have left him behind so easily, knowing full well that he would carry the weight of their absence in silence?

"Yanqing!?" Jing Yuan's voice carried a startled edge, his expression shifting from surprise to panic as he took in the sight before him. It had been years—at least as far back as he could remember—since Yanqing had cried in front of anyone, least of all him.

At that moment, Yanqing came to the sudden realization that he had become so overwhelmed that tears had begun to well up due to the frustration caused by this exasperating man.

"I'm sorry..." Yanqing uttered between sobs, desperately trying to stifle the flow of tears, but it was as if a dam had broken, and there was no holding them back. Ashamed, he turned away from Jing Yuan, unwilling to show the General his tear-streaked face.

"Why are you apologizing, Yanqing?" Jing Yuan asked, his voice held a mix of confusion and worry, seeking to understand Yanqing's distress. But, instead of stopping, Yanqing could only cry harder when Jing Yuan showed him such concern.

"Yanqing," Jing Yuan coaxed gently, leaning closer, his hand resting lightly on Yanqing's shoulder. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." He tried to turn Yanqing toward him, but the boy resisted, stubbornly refusing to face the man who had unwittingly caused him such distress.

Yanqing rubbed furiously at his eyes, failing miserably to regain his composure. He was a mess—a sobbing, emotional mess—and yet, in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to care. "It's just... frustrating," he muttered through shaky breaths, though he held back the words that burned most on his tongue: You're frustrating!

Jing Yuan's mind raced, scrambling for a way to console his distraught lieutenant. How could he possibly calm his little bird when he didn't even know the cause of these tears? Yanqing's frustration was palpable, but it wasn't like him to break down like this—headstrong and stubborn as he was. Jing Yuan knew that there were plenty of reasons for Yanqing to be frustrated, but none of them seemed enough to push him to such an emotional outburst.

The more Jing Yuan thought as he thinks back what could have triggered him when he was doing perfectly fine earlier, the more the pieces began to fall into place. Yanqing wasn't just frustrated about his, the knights, or even recent events where he suffered defeat. This breakdown, these tears—they weren't for Yanqing himself.

Jing Yuan's eyes softened as realization settled, a mix of fondness and helpless understanding in his gaze. "You're still a messy crier," he remarked gently with a teasing tone, the corners of his mouth lifting into a small smile. "Just like when you were a child."

I'm crying because of you! Yanqing thought in frustration, but the words stayed trapped in his throat. Instead, he snapped his head up, glaring at the General with a flash of defiance in his tear-filled eyes. "Well, I am a child," he retorted, his voice a little too sharp. "I can cry however I like!"

Jing Yuan chuckled, his voice soft, eyes brimming with fondness. 

Hearing him laugh Yanqing wants to be angry —truly angry—at Jing Yuan but when he caressed Yanqing's cheek, wiping away the tears.

"You finally looked at me,"  Jing Yuan reached out, gently lifting Yanqing's chin, guiding their gazes to meet. Yanqing, caught off guard, realized he'd momentarily forgotten the tears still wet on his cheeks, his focus now solely on Jing Yuan.

A tender smile played on the General's lips as he brushed away the tear stains from Yanqing's face. "I'm glad you stopped crying," he murmured, the warmth in his touch bringing a quiet comfort Yanqing hadn't expected.

Yanqing felt his breath catch in his throat.

Oh, he thought, as the shapeless emotions that had been swelling within him finally took form. Yet, now that he understood them, he wished he had remained ignorant.

Before he could overthink it, Yanqing moved impulsively, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around the startled General. He pressed his chin against Jing Yuan's shoulder, holding him tightly in a hug. Jing Yuan had was always perceptive, which is why Yanqing doesn't want the General to see the look in his eyes, he would surely figure it out what Yanqing just realized with just a look.

Yanqing's sudden embrace surprised Jing Yuan, freezing him momentarily. Rather than pushing him away, Jing Yuan hesitated before gently returning the unexpected hug. The warmth of the embrace was both familiar and comforting, and they sat there, savoring the closeness and comfort it provided.

"Thank you, Yanqing," Jing Yuan whispered, as if acknowledging the tears shed for his sake.

Yanqing flinched at the gratitude, inwardly cursing how perceptive the General could be.

"General, please just shut up," Yanqing's voice cracked, betraying the inner struggle he was trying to hide. His arms tightened around Jing Yuan, conveying more than words ever could.

Jing Yuan laughed softly. "You're right," he said, "I should just be quiet."

Yanqing felt the arms around him tighten, sensing Jing Yuan's subtle reciprocation—a silent acknowledgment wrapped in their embrace. "Let's just stay like this for now," Jing Yuan murmured, leaning his head against Yanqing's shoulder, his voice soft and filled with a quiet plea.

"We should," Yanqing nodded, gently caressing Jing Yuan's back as the warm drops of his tears landed on his shoulder.

Yanqing did not say a word as he let Jing Yuan lean into him, finding solace in the quiet moment they shared. His thoughts drifted to a wistful place, full of promises that would remain unspoken.

I would stay by your side forever...

Someday, I will be someone who can ease your pain and share your burdens.

I towards you ...

Yanqing bit at his lips, and stopped himself, knowing that some thoughts were better left unsaid.

Yes. Those words should never be spoken. Even if the General were to realize his feelings, it's better left unacknowledged. Voicing them could only bring Jing Yuan more pain, especially given the uncertainty of the future. Yanqing couldn't be sure if he'd be able to keep the promises he made to himself. Considering Jing Yuan's painful past, it would be more compassionate not to offer promises that could only lead to disappointment.

That's why for now, in this moment, Yanqing would hold onto his silence. 

For now, he would let the moment be enough, embracing what they have in the present. It was his way of protecting both of them from the weight of unspoken promises that might one day become a burden.

[END]

𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨𓅨

I really love YuanQing!!! Writing this was my way of giving them both the hug they needed, even if the scene is a bit angsty. A hug is still a hug, and I wanted to convey that sense of comfort and connection between them. I really like the recent patch of the game. A character growth for Yanqing who thinks more than being just the best swordsman and lightening Jing Yuan's burdens. I do love how petty he is towards Yunli as well.

I wonder if anyone find the scene familiar. The inspiration for that one comes from an anime that I really love and I just thought that the scene really fits with Jing Yuan and Yanqing. So I write it. Completely self-indulgent on my part