Clato_MaroonDiamonds
Fantastic begining. You immediately drew the reader into the story.
Some phrases were worded strangely, but other than that, good grammar.
It kept me interested through the whole story, but also ended very well.
My only issue was that I felt like the part about Harry was a little rushed.
I would suggest elaborating a little more on that section. It would have been nice to get to hear more about their fight.
Your title was good, but it wouldn't attract readers so much. You want a name that gives readers a clue about the story.
I loved the way you added pieces of the song in there. It wasn't enough to make me feel like you were just copying the song. You knew how to add it in when it made sense, but not just throw random lines in just for the challenge. Well done.
Grammar- 20/20
Title- 18/20
Fits the criteria- 20/20
Realistic characters- 18/20
Plot- 20/20
Overall score- 96

@conventional_weapon

You had a nice way of opening up the story. The "starting with a description and then telling us why its relevant, and leaving us with a question" method, as I'll call it for lack of a better word, was effective.
Your grammar was good, and you made me feel Draco's emotions.
The title was good, it left me wondering how it connected to the story, like a good title should.
However, parts of it felt a little too fanfiction-esque.
By that I mean that some of the things seemed to happen just so that a couple could get together. When writing a fanfiction, although you should let the romance go well, make it more like it would be in a book. Not everything has to work perfectly.
The ending should have, in my opinion, been a little more meaningful than Hermione and Draco getting together so easily.
Another thing is that I would have liked to see more references to the song.
Despite the criticism, I thought this fanfic was great. It didn't feel dragged out, it was well written, and it left the reader feeling satisfied. Well done.
Grammar- 20/20
Title- 19/20
Fits the criteria-18/20
Realistic character- 16/20
Plot- 19/20
Final score- 92

bookolympus

Your story was cute. I loved the way you left me wondering who the other boy was for a while. It made me get into the story.
The plot was good, and left me feeling satisfied. Not too long, not too short.
I didn't like the way you added the song in though. It felt like it had been shoved in there, instead of gradually showing parts of the song in the story.
The grammar was okay, but there were some places that need some editing, or you should have put a contraction there instead of two words.
Your title was good, but although this won't seem like a big deal to you, you didn't capitalize the first letter of every word, which is likely to make a reader not want to read your story, because they'll assume that it's poorly written.
Overall, it was good, but could use a little bit more work.
Grammar- 17/20
Title- 18/20
Fits the criteria- 17/20
Realistic characters- 19/20
Plot- 19/20
Overall score- 90 points

@Amy_loveblue
I loved the way you gave me a lot of information in your first sentence, without making me feel overwhelmed. I already knew who the main characters would be, why they spent time together, and a little bit of back story.
I also liked the way you out pieces of the song in there. It was done well.
On the other hand, your grammar was slightly off. Little mistakes like mixing up him and her, and in and on, don't seem like a big deal, but they are.
I also want a fan of the way you switched times by just writing the new setting at the top. Had I written it, I would have written an opening line like "the next morning" or "after a couple of months" to keep the story flowing nicely.
At some parts, I felt like the characters kept changing their personalities, but for the most part, they were consistent.
Your title was good, but the wording was strange.
Overall, good fanfic, but could use a little editing.
Grammar- 15/20
Title- 17/20
Fits the criteria- 20/20
Realistic characters- 18/20
Plot-18/20
Overall score- 88 points

@pompadora

I liked the way you used an inanimate object to show something bigger. Even though the dress was just a dress, you could see that it showed the differences in their personalities.
The story was sweet, and the ending was vague but fulfilling.
Your title was good, but you didn't capitalize it property, which will make the reader not want to click on it.
I saw that the idea of the song was put in the fic, but I would have loved to see some references.
It felt a bit rushed though. It could've used a couple more paragraphs to get across the story you were trying to tell.
Grammar was fine, and overall the fanfic was good, it just needed more time to be worked on.
Grammar- 20/20
Title- 18/20
Fits the criteria- 15/20
Plot- 18/20
Realistic characters- 18/20
Overall score- 89 points

El1zaS

I have to admit, I was sceptical at the beginning, seeing as I'm a diehard Jily shipper. But I was pleasantly surprised.
Your story was written very well, and the plot was wonderful.
You kept me in suspense to the last second, and left me thinking about it even after I finished it.
The title was good, but there was nothing special about it. Odds are, I wouldn't remember what it was called, and that's not what you want when you title your writing.
Song references were good, but it would have been nice to see just a little bit more.
Your characters seemed real, but there were some moments where Bellatrix was acting very different than the scene before, but everyone makes those kinds of mistakes.
It didn't feel dragged out, or too vague. Very well done.
Grammar- 20/20
Title- 18/20
Fits the criteria- 19/20
Realistic characters- 19/20
Plot- 20/20
Overall- 96 points

I have to admit, I was disappointed by the amount of people who got their entries in. More than half didn't finish the assignment, so because we already lost so many, no one is eliminated this round.
The next round will be published tomorrow.
If you have any comments on anything, or questions, just comment below.
I hope none of you were insulted by my comments. They were meant as constructive criticism