After I gave a birth to my beautiful daughter Huricihan, everything changed in my life. Everyone in harem was happy because I gave a birth to a daughter, but not happy for real. They were happy because if I would have given birth to a son, I would been a threat to all of them.

Kosem Sultana was really disappointed in me. She told me it's done with Murad's love with me, and I was scared if she is right. Murad haven't visited me and my daughter for few weeks. That made me really sad.

I barely went out of my room. Gulcicek Hatun helped me with Huricihan. Only person that was often coming to visit me, was Ismihan Sultana. She was really happy because she got a little sister. She was the only one who talked to me in this palace.

I was really disappointed in Murad. I haven't except him to act like this towards me. I missed him really much and I couldn’t stand to not see him for so long.

That day I was sitting in my room with Ismihan Sultana while my baby Huricihan Sultana was sleeping peacefully.

- Everyone in harem is making fun of you. - Ismihan told me sadly, but I already knew it. What could I do? Nothing will stop them.

- I know and I don't care about it, only thing that I am sad about is your dad. - I told to Ismihan.
- He is not visiting you? - she asked me and I nodded her with my head showing her he is not.

- He did the same to my mother. I love him, but I don't know how he can act like this. - she said sadly.
- I don't want to end up like your mother. - I told her sadly. And I really didn't. I couldn't spend years in this Palace if I wouldnt have Murad's love.

- I heard Kosem Sultan sent him Raziye Hatun, she's his favourite now. She will go tonight again. - Ismihan told me and that made me really upset.

I know I shouldn't do anything but I didn't want to sit peacefully while he was sleeping with another women. I won't let him do it to me. No matter what his reaction will be, I will stop him in having a havlet with that concubine. Even though, I am a concubine too still. I won't give up easily on love of my life.

I ordered Gulcicek Hatun to take care of Huricihan at evening, and I went to visit Murad. I saw Ayse Sultan in the hallways of harem.

- Look, look. You thought you would rise in this palace, but you couldn't even give a birth to a son! Sultan already found another one and he doesn't care for you. - she said arrogantly to my face and all concubines in harem laughed together with her. They all tried to make fun of me.

- I still have a chance to fix the things while you don't. Sultan forgot about you six years ago. - I told her proudly with a smile and I could see she was becoming really angry.

- Hoşyar Hatun, I am Sultana. You can't talk like that to me. - she said proudly to me.
- I don't care who are you. - I said to her with a smile.

- Instead of trying to catch Sultan's attention, maybe you should take care of your daughter? - she told me and I was confused why is she mentioning my child, but I was ready to attack her back verbally.

- I take care of my child, unlike you. Your children dont have your attention and they dont feel loved. - I told her proudly.

- You are talking lies, I love my children most in this world. - she said trying to defend herself when all harem concubines were looking at her.

I stepped towards her and got close to her face.
- That's why your daughter told she would like more if I was her mother Instead of you? - I asked her smilingly. Ayse didn't know how to react. I just had a little bow to her and left the harem.

I went to Murad's room. I saw Haci-aga is standing there.
- Haci-aga let me in please. - I told him.

- I think I can't, Hosyar Hatun. - he told me insensitive. I couldn't find out what is his side.

- Why can't you? - I asked him confusedly.
- Raziye Hatun went to havlet right now. You should leave to your room. - Haci-aga said.

- I won't leave. I will wait until she goes out whenever it is, I want to see Sultan. - I told him loudly and angrily.
- Hatun, don't make scenes here. Return to your room and come back tommorow. - he told me trying to convince me to leave.

- Haci-aga. Tell him I need to see him. - I yelled at Haci-aga loudly so Murad could hear me.

At that moment the doors of Murad's chambers opened and Raziye Hatun left in tears. She just looked at me so angrily like she would kill me right now if she had an opportunity.

Hasodabaşa (door keeper) told me to come in. I walked in slowly and I saw Murad standing on his terrace looking at the Bosphorus.

I came from his back and hugged him.  But he moved away from my hug.
- Why did you yell in front of my chambers? I won't tollerate that acts. You must know your place. - he told me like he had no emotions towards me.

- Why are you like this to me Murad? Why dont you even want to see Huricihan and me? - I asked him coldly. I didn't want to show any emotion towards him when he was like this to me.

- I visited Huricihan oftenly when the nurse was breast feeding her. - he told me coldly.

- And why don't you want to see me? - I asked him, but this time cold with tears in my eyes.

- Why did you come here? What do you want? - he asked me.
- I wanted to ask you why do you act like this towards me. Why dont you want to see me anymore? What I did wrong? - I asked him madly with a dose of sadness.

- You must take care of your child. - he told me like he wanted to pretend stupid on purpose.
- Are you disappointed because I didn't give a birth to a son? - I asked him and stepped towards him.

He looked me in my eyes and said nothing. It was only silence between us.

- You said to me when I was pregnant that you won't care what is the baby's gender, and now you abandoned me because of the child I gave birth to. - I told him very angrily. I think he never saw me this angry.

He wanted to say something, but I continued to talk not letting him talk.

- You promised you will love me no matter what, but you already found an alternative concubine which you like more than me. - I told him very agressivley.

- This is an Imperial Harem and I can have as many as woman I want. I love my daughter and you shouldn't even question yourself about that. - he told me calmly while he didn't even look at me.

- I was maybe stupid because I belived you really love me. Now I see that's what you tell to every woman. I am stupid myself because I believed you. - I told him and looked him directly in the eyes and our eyes meet.

- I still love you Hoşyar. I never stopped loving you. - he told me calmly.
- I don't trust you. You weren't happy when you saw me. You don't know how many times I excepted to see you, but you didn't even want to visit me or our child. - I told him angrily.

He just keep staring at my eyes.
- You won't act towards me like you did towards Ayse and Farya. I am not like them. I will leave the palace if you want to act like this. - I told him proudly.

- You aren't allowed to leave the palace. - he told me and I could see he is getting mad on this subject.
- Then I can kill myself. If I dont have you in this palace I am alone. If you will pretend like I don't exist in your life, then I am ready to kill myself. - I told him passionatley and agressivley.

He stepped towards me and our faces were just few centimeters apart.
- I want you to be here with me. I won't ever let you do something bad for yourself. I couldn't stand the pain of losing you. - he told me and kissed my mouth.

- Then why did you ignore me? - I asked him trying not to fell for his emotions this time.
- Because I was shocked of everything what happened. But I will love my daughter. I promise you. - he told me very sensitive this time.

- So I was right the whole time. - I told him sadly.
- I wanted to have a son with you and I had a thought you are carrying a son. Maybe I thought a lot about getting a male heir so thats why I reacted like this. - he told me sadly. I saw in his eyes he felt sorry for his acts. He looked at the floor. I knew I shouldn't accept what he is saying, but I really trusted him because I knew him well.

I took his hands in mine.
- I promise you Murad. I won't give you birth to only one son. I will give a birth to a lot of sons. We will have a lot of princes together. - I told him.

He kissed me at that moment passionatley and we were kissing for a long time. I slept with him this night, and it was so passionate. I felt so good with him and he gave me a big pleasure.