If life was like the movies, Satan's Ride would have been a climax in my life that led to a happily-ever-afterwards that l, or at the very least, a happy-for-now. As it turned out, it was merely preparation for the bizarre mayhem that would ensue in my progressively freakish life.

Likewise, things should've changed for me socially after winning the crown in such a dramatic manner, but it didn't. If anything, it made people even more uncomfortable around me-- I was still an outcast and they continued their whispering, but now, they acted as though I had some kind of evil superpower on top of everything.

Which was fine, whatever. Popularity was the least of my concerns.

My biggest problem was unloading mangled sheep carcasses from his truck bed.

Oh, boy.

The morning after our first kiss? That was adorable com pared to this. This was a whole new level of unmanageable. What I was supposed to do? I mean, what was the protocol after everything we did a mere hours ago?

Flashbacks flooded my brain, getting me all hot and bothered. Turns out my mind had an artistic flair for all this stuff because it all came back to me in black and white, complete with the hazy porno filter. But I didn't regret it, feel ashamed, or anything like that. Quite the opposite, watching Jake (yes, unloading dead sheep) made me want to jump his bones all over again. As soon as possible.

Well, if you want that to happen, we need to get over this. Let's just go say hi.

Yeah, let's.

But my feet turned and booked it, darting between hay bales like I was competing in the championship round of some obstacle course race.

Once I was safely out of sight, I sighed. I still had a whole lot of growing up to do. After kicking at some rocks, I set off on the super long detour back to the pig sties, where I saw Peyton manhandling Alice.

He had her by the upper arm, hauling her out of Beaudry's mansion. She stumbled behind him, obviously struggling to keep up, but he didn't slow down for her. No, he dragged her all the way to his car.

Once there, Peyton opened the passenger door with his free hand and shoved her forward. Alice continued her struggle for freedom, going as far as to brace her hands against the door frame and kick at him.

That's when she looked up and spotted me. "Layla!"

Peyton turned too.

Chagrined, I waved, wishing I'd have caught this moment behind the privacy of some bushes or something.

Alice gave her arm a final shake and that time, Peyton released her.

She ran to my side.

Peyton stayed where he was. He looked exhausted and miserable, and most jarringly, frazzled.

"You said I could come visit you at work, so I'm here," said Alice.

"Yeah, no, that's fine. Is that what he's so pissed about?"

But she was already yelling across the lawn. "See? She said I'm welcome to stay!"

Peyton's shoulders rose and fell. Then, he got in the car and just drove off.

Frowning deeply, I watched him go. "Why is he so pissed? Because you wanted to come see me?"

Alice blinked. "No, of course not. He thinks we should be friends. He said you liked me." Bashfully, she lowered her eyelashes. "Do you?"

I blinked. "Yes."

She smiled and bounced up onto her toes, so pleased.

"Alice, what's Peyton so upset about?"

"Oh," she flinched. "It's kind of my fault. Because Charlotte-" she caught herself and licked her lips. "I, um... that is...well..." Her face crumpled. "Please don't ask me about that, I'm not supposed to talk about it."

Uh huh.

Speaking of Charlotte, I had to get Alice to repeat the name of that place she'd mentioned at Shana's, the place where she'd thought Charlotte had been before she came here. I meant to Google it, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember the name, only that it was something hyphenated.

I sized Alice up and decided that it would yield better results if I slipped it into a future conversation. Already, Alice was beyond distracted, her eyes roving all over the ranch. "I'm so excited to be here and so ready to feed the animals. I don't get out much in New York."

It showed.

"Ummm, I have to work first though."

"Feeding the animals?"

I shook my head. "No, I have to muck shi- poo."

She blinked.

I blinked.

"That sounds like fun! Can I help?"

***

I'd never seen anyone take more delight in pigs than Alice Huntington. She looked just like Cinderella in her borrowed boots, humming and dancing with her rake, prancing and jumping in the muck with the same delight and enthusiasm of a small child frolicking in rain puddles.

She was getting covered in filth, but I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop.

Afterward, we fed some goats and rabbits, then I got her some apples to give to the horses. It was a miracle that her face didn't explode from all that joy.

Peyton returned to take her home at lunch time. I'd made her shower (as she literally had shit dripping from her hair) so Peyton and I ended up with a moment to talk.

"Sorry about this morning," he said.

"Peyton, if she's stressing you out, just let her come out here every day. I don't mind."

"She's just... uncontrollable. I don't know what I'm going to do with her." He shook his head to himself.

"You're going to send her out here with me. She keeps me company and helps me. It's a win win situation for everyone."

He shook his wrist, letting his watch shuffle around. "We'll see."

"Peyton, is there something else going on? You look bad." I held my breath.

He rubbed his neck and seemed to consider sharing.

You can tell me, you know. I'm your friend. And I would help you in any way that I can.

"No, everything's fine. Just tired."

I wish he would've told me about the problem then. If he had, things might've turned out differently for his family.

***

After I saw Alice and Peyton off, I ran smack into Jake.

I'd stepped on a wad of gum near the vending machines and was trying to drag that off the bottom of my boots. When I looked up, Bam! There he was, standing five feet from me.

Our eyes met and there was no way to run this time. I got so flustered that I almost reached out to shake his hand.

Pulling myself together, I spoke. "Hi."

That was it, that was all I had.

He leaned forward and I thought he was going to kiss me, but he pulled back a the last minute. Maybe it was because there were a ton of other people around. Or maybe it was because of all the blood and guts on his hands and clothes. I hoped it was the latter.

At the end, we skipped the greeting altogether.

"Are you going home after work?" he asked.

"To Shana's first. I told her I'd come by and hang out- she's on strict bed rest until the baby comes."

"Oh. I have to work until nine tonight - we're about to head out. Coyotes." He gestured behind him to the group of cowboys with their rifles, saddling up.

"Oh."

This is painful.

He continued to stare at them, squinting against the sun. "Do you want me to come get you from Shana's?"

I smiled. "Okay."

"Okay."

We just stood there.

"It'll be about nine thirty," he said.

"Okay."

Another minute passed before he turned abruptly and walked away, lifting his hand in goodbye, leaving me standing there grinning from ear to ear.

***

Shana had been thrilled about the crown but apprehensive about the recent developments between me and Jake.

"Well, like mama always says, there are three kinds of people. The ones that learn by readin', the ones that learn by observation. The rest of y'all have to pee on the electric fence."

When I'd looked crestfallen, she'd reached out and patted my cheek. Shana had looked terrible. Her usually rosy complexion was pale and drawn with dark circles heavy beneath her eyes. Even her fingers had been cool against my skin. "Aw now, don't sit there lookin' like the cheese fell off your cracker. If you want it, get it! Nothin' dries as quick as a tear anyway."

"Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

She'd waved her hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. I know I'm lookin' like somethin' the cat dragged in, but I'm fine. Really." She craned her neck to look at her feet and clucked her tongue. "Just look at them toenails though. I can't even reach them no more."

So I'd cleaned them up and painted them for her. Then, on a whim, I did my own too. "I'll come by every day after work, keep you busy."

"That'd be good. I'm bored as hell just layin' here all by myself with Billy workin' the extra hours to save up for the move. Mama's got Cadence and even the TV's broke."

At nine fifteen, Jake came. And he'd brought strawberry pie, Shana's favorite. We ate and Jake made Shana laugh so hard that I was afraid the baby was going to pop right out of her.

After we'd left, I doubled back and poked my head back into the trailer.

"See? He's sweet!" I hissed at Shana.

"Oh, I never said he wasn't honey. He can be sweeter than an old maid's dream when he ain't in a horn-tossin' mood."

With those ominous words still ringing in my ear, I stepped back out into the night. I still didn't think Shana was being fair to him, but everybody was entitled to their opinion.

Jake was already in the truck, engine running.

He didn't open my door for me like Peyton always did, but who cared? I was perfectly capable of opening my own doors.

He hit the gas even before my door was fully shut and tore out of that park like it was the dawn of the zombie apocalypse.

Gripping hard at the oh-shit-handle, I let out a little yelp. "Why are you driving like this?"

As soon as we turned out of the park, he pulled over to the side of the road, parked the car, and near scrambled over the console to get to me.

Laughing, I kissed him back.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he said.

I beamed.

He shifted the car back into gear and drove, this time normally except for his hand hanging out of the window, tapping on the side of the car.

"You really need that cigarette, don't you?"

"Yep."

"It's not good for you anyway."

"Yep. Let's not talk about it. Makes it worse."

We drove the rest of the way in silence but it wasn't uncomfortable at all.

Buck's lawn was filled with cars. Cursing softly, I pulled out my phone to see that I'd missed a text from him, near two hours ago. I replied.

"I need to go around back." I chewed on my lower lip. "Are you coming in?"

"Do you want me to?"

I nodded and hoped that the darkness would conceal the flush in my face.

"Yeah, okay," he said.

He had to climb the tree that time and came in through the window not long after I'd gotten to my room. It was loud in the house again, and it stunk like drugs and alcohol. It was a little embarrassing, but he didn't say anything. I left him in my room and took a quick shower.

I came back to find him asleep, face down on the bed with his arm hanging off the edge. I understood, he hadn't gotten any sleep last night and had worked all day.

After gawking at his sleeping face for a while (He was soooo maddeningly good looking) I squeezed in between him and the wall and stared at the ceiling fan until I fell asleep.

***

I woke up to him whispering my name in my ear. And no, that wasn't done romantically either. He was on his stomach, propped up on his elbows repeating "Layla, Layla, Layla, Layla, Layla," over and over again, like a robot.

He stopped when I swatted at him, but started up again just as I was about to fall back asleep. "Stop, that's so annoying."

"I'm horny."

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I tried to make a stern face but failed miserably.

He grinned, teeth flashing in the moonlight.

"Oh wait, I have something for you." He reached into his pockets.

Grinning, I sat up on my haunches. "What is it?"

"Condoms," he said, throwing one at me. "Condoms, condoms, condoms, condoms." He kept throwing them at me. "Condoms everywhere."

I winced.

"You fucking changed your mind."

"I'm not ready?"

He moaned and fell face first into the bed. "I knew you'd change your mind," he mumbled.

I didn't know if I was supposed to apologize or not, so I stayed quiet.

"Just not yet or not ever?" he asked.

I frowned. What was that supposed to mean? If I said not ever then what? He's gone? Or am I overreacting? Ugh. This sex stuff opened up a whole new world and it looked like I wasn't gonna be very good at maneuvering around these parts either.

I almost told him not yet, but fuck you, Jake Waites.

"Dunno," I said. Our bodies were touching so I scooted back until I was sitting propped up against the wall, as far away as I could get from him without leaving the bed.

He watched me go, tracking me with his eyeballs. "It's okay if you don't wanna."

"Duh."

The corner of his mouth lifted. He reached out and wrapped his hand around my ankle. I ignored it.

"Your toes look nice," he said, rubbing them. "They were pink yesterday."

Well, mostly chipped off but yes, they had been. And it really was sweet that he'd noticed. What he was doing to my calves felt real nice too. I was still annoyed with him but hey, free massage.

"What color are they now? They look black, but I'm guessing they're not."

"Purple," I mumbled, chewing on my hangnails.

His hands moved higher and I halfheartedly swatted it away. He put it right back.

"Do you like purple?" he asked.

"It's okay."

"What's your favorite color?"

"I don't have one. And it's a dumb question. Who cares what someone's favorite color is? And for most people, it's always changing."

"I like yellow. Always have, always will."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "It's cheerful and bright and it makes me happy." He trailed his fingertips up and down the backs of my thighs. It was giving me the good kind of chills, but I pretended that it wasn't affecting me, making a show out of studying my nails.

He was trying not to laugh at me; He knew what he did to me. His lips twitched as he moved higher. "If you don't want it, all you have to do is tell me to stop."

I said nothing.

He smiled and scooted closer so that he was basically at eye level with, well, my crotch.

I clamped my thighs together.

He continued to rub at my legs while he talked about nonsense like the weather and the Dallas Cowboys, like he had all the time in the world. Me, I was getting sweaty, and all kinds of hot and bothered.

We were jerked out of it by the sound of something breaking downstairs followed by raucous laughter and drunken yelling.

"We need to get you out of here, this is just asking for it," he said.

I shrugged.

"I was gonna wait to let them tell you, but Daniel and Faith are gonna ask you to move in with them right after they get back from Dallas."

I frowned at him.

"I told you, I'd look into something."

"I couldn't impose on them like that."

"That's up to you. But now you have choices. The Harris' or Bishop. Staying here though, isn't an option, if you ask me. Brandy's crazy for moving you in here in the first place."

I shrugged. "She never wanted me in the first place, you know. Like, when she got pregnant. She wanted an abortion but daddy begged her and promised that he'd take me away so that I'd never get in her way."

Jake watched me carefully.

I licked the corners of my lips. "She doesn't legally have any parental rights over me, she signed all that stuff over when I was born. But when daddy died and Grandma Danner didn't want to keep me, Brandy took me in. She didn't have to do it, but she did. If she hadn't, I was going to foster care."

The thought was sobering. "So I'm still grateful to her."

He stroked my leg again, but this time, there was nothing sexual about it. Only comfort.

"What's up with your grandma anyway? Why didn't you stay with her?"

"I mean, she's not really my grandma. She's my granddaddy's widow, and they were only married for about two years before he died. She stuck around to help out because my daddy paid all her bills, but once he was gone..." I shrugged. "She was super old anyway. Who knows, maybe she's dead by now."

Jake plucked at my toes.

I said the words like I didn't care, but Grandma Danner had hurt me. Despite her strictness and constant disapproval, I'd thought she'd loved me deep down inside. It had been a shock and a betrayal to have her walk away like that. I pushed her out of my head and thought about the Harris', a little bit of hope blooming in my chest. "Do you really think Daniel and Faith will want me?"

"I know they do."

"You talked to them?"

"Briefly. Trust me, they want you."

Another crash sounded from downstairs, making us both jump. This time, the tell tale sounds of a fight breaking out followed.

Jake watched the door. "I'll tell you what. I'll come over every night and stay until the Harris' come back," he said, turning his attention back to me. "But you have to make out with me in return."

"Oh, so kind of like prostitution?"

He considered it. "Yeah, sure."

I giggled and picked at the scab on my knee.

Jake winced and placed his hand over mine. "Don't do that. It's gross."

"Can I ask you a random question?" I asked.

"Can I stop you?"

"Who was the first girl you had sex with?" I was curious. What I really wanted was a list of every girl he'd ever slept with, but this was a starting point. My nosiness, it's a major character flaw. I expected him to joke about it, maybe say something like: "Oh, so you are still thinking about fucking me."

But he lowered his eyelids, his entire face shuttering down. "Can I take a pass on that question?"

Everything about his body language told me to back off, that this wasn't just a simple question, but I decided to play it dumb. I wanted to know him, good and bad, easy and complicated. "Not anymore, you can't."

He scratched his neck and looked doubtful. "Trust me Layla, it's better if you don't know."

I leaned forward so that we were nearly nose to nose. "I'll let you put it in my mouth if you tell me."

It was like that conversation in the helicopter with Miguel never happened at all.

Jake looked from my eyes to my mouth, then back again. And got stuck there. "Lottie."

I reeled back in horror. "Bishop?"

He looked at me like c'mon.

I did the math. "But... but... but... that means she was like... eleven or something."

"Twelve, I think. And there were extraneous circumstances. I can't talk about it. I don't like to think about it." This time, he meant it. I knew when to stop pushing.

"But she's so hideous..." I mumbled.

He hesitated. "Go easy on Lottie, Layla. She's got a lot on her plate."

"A lot of evil!"

Jake rolled his eyes. "I know she's not good to you but try to remember that everybody's got their cross to bear."

My eyes went wide at that. "Stop defending her! You don't know the half of all the things she's done to me!"

Jake opened his mouth to say something more, but sighed and ran his fingers through his hair instead. We were quiet for a really long time, me trying to imagine the circumstances that could've resulted in children having sex and him, staring holes into my face.

"You're not gonna let me put it in your mouth, are you?" he asked finally.

I threw my pillow in his face.

"I didn't think so. But for the record, it's unfair and childish for you to hold this against me."

Of course I knew that.

"It's not just that you know, right? She's gonna lose her shit if she finds out about..." I wanted to say "us," but was that being too presumptuous? Instead I pointed and me then him.

He shook his head. "No, she won't."

"She's crazy. She thinks everything she touches is hers. She's even jealous of me and Peyton."

"She won't."

He was both right and wrong about that.

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