Requested by: that_damdemigxd

So many things are romanticized in fanfiction that definitely should not be, and it's a big issue that needs to be addressed, and that needs to stop.

Mental Illness

Panic attacks? Oh yeah, just give her a hug, tell her you love her, kiss her. She'll be totally fine and dandy, ready to go soon after. Not the case! Yes, comfort is a way to come down from a panic attack, but it takes more than that. You need to get rid of the stressor, and give the person time to calm down.

Haven't slept? Oh insomnia, you know, I have some little eye bags and drank a lot of coffee. Insomnia is intense, barely sleeping, drowsy, moody, messy, unput together due to exhaustion.

Depression? Let me show you my love, tell you that you mean a lot to me and you'll be cured! Depression is intense. It's ups and downs. It's feeling great some days and feeling like you're at your lowest the next. It's a hard journey full of doubt and struggles. You could reassure someone with depression of their worth every day, and they could think that you're lying through your teeth.

Anxiety. It's fine, it's nothing. I get nervous surrounded by tons of people, it's a little stage fright. But I'm going to go out there and do my best, and lose myself in the music. NO. Anxiety is avoiding the things that make you anxious like you have the plague. It's making yourself sick with worry and ignoring taking care of yourself because the steps to do that make you anxious. It's thinking that every person in the world is against you at every. Single. Moment.

Stop making mental illness 'beautiful' or curable with love. Because it isn't. It takes hard work, and pain, and more than reassurances. It's painful, and hard, and a long-term inner battle that may have no end. 

Abuse

Writers seem to think that writing a character with abusive tendencies is perfectly okay if they reassure the MC that they love them. It's not. It's abuse culture.

Extreme possessiveness, anger, manipulation, control, guilting, and physical situations are all examples of an abusive relationship. But this has been normalized. 

A love interest could stop the MC from leaving to go out with friends, or a party because they only want their attention on them. They could get angry over small things, or lie, or control the MC. They could guilt them into doing things or even hit them and say it was an 'accident'. Accident or not it could happen again, but the MC always forgives, and always goes back.

Most of the time the abuse is dismissed because the abuser is a 'troubled soul'. They've had a hard past and because of that they've developed abusive tendencies. 

This isn't okay, nor is it healthy. It's toxic. 

Trauma

I've read fanfictions where the MC has been assaulted, and got over it right away...No. No. No. That's not how it works. That's not how any of this works. Everyone deals with trauma differently, but that doesn't mean they're happy go lucky the day after it happens.

Healing from trauma takes time. It's a long road. It can take weeks, months, years. Physical wounds may heal, scars being the only reminder, but the remnants of the pain in your mind can only fade and loose power, never disappear completely- unless magic or superpowers is used.

People turn to different things in an attempt to heal. Therapy, medication, alcohol, drugs, and people. It's not always a straight, positive, and legal path. People can be desperate for some form of relief.

Romance/love does not actually heal all wounds. Yes, love interests can support, and help, and encourage, but they can't heal the trauma that the character could have gone through. That it a journey for the MC themself. 

Trauma is haunting. You can have dreams reminding you of it, flashbacks, and triggers. Little things can trigger the awful memories until you're left as hopeless as you felt as soon as you got out of the trauma. It's a roller coaster, with ups and downs in terms of recovery. 

Don't romanticize other's pain. It's that simple. Think of how much people suffer before you write about these things. Make it raw, make it real. Make people realize that it can't be cured with a flick of a magic wand.

Request are open and so is asking questions!

~Lydia