Was it possible to lose the feeling in your body? Not like you've been out in the cold for too long and your fingers and toes have gone numb, but like your actual insides have turned to ice. The heating in her room was most certainly on so she wasn't sure why her body was shaking and her teeth chattering. She'd wrapped herself in her thick fluffy dressing gown, socks, slipper boots and a blanket but she still couldn't stop the shaking.

Marinette hadn't felt this way since she was a young teen and Clark Kent chose Lana Lang instead of Lois Lane in Smallville. It took her years to get over Clark's betrayal, but that was only fictional, this was real life.

She hadn't slept at all. She had come up to her room with the aim of going to bed only to never make it. She never even got close, and if she was being honest her butt was hurting slightly from sitting here for so long, but she couldn't take her eyes off the screen. She just clicked between websites reading the same article over and over again. Every magazine and newspaper, every social media account and online resource had the exactsame story, and no matter how much she looked, how many different websites she visited each and everyone said the same.

Adrien Agreste is marrying Kagami Tsurugi.

Marinette knew Kagami, she'd seen her fence many times when she'd snuck into her collège to watch Adrien train when he was younger. Kagami was a fierce fighter, though a little cold in personality. She'd given her the dragon Miraculous, and she was a valuable ally, but that still didn't help. Kagami was marrying Adrien, her Adrien.

Her Adrien? She scoffed, she had no right calling him hers, she didn't want a relationship with him. She told herself over and over again to quit with these dramatics, she didn't want to be with him. She couldn't be with him. So why did it hurt so much?

Her stomach churned and she made her way over to the sink at the side of her room, bending over and emptying the only thing left inside her ... water. This had been the sixth time since she'd first read the article her stomach had whirled and threatened to empty itself of its contents. Pulling her fleece blanket tighter around her shoulders, she made her way back to her computer chair, sat down and pulled up Twitter.

She may have told herself dozens of times that she couldn't be with Adrien but that didn't matter. She wanted him. She wanted him all to herself, to be selfish and take him in her arms, placing her lips against his. She let out a whimper again and tears built up in her lower eyelids. She had no right to feel this way, but her body betrayed her.

She was reacting like a teen girl finding her crush's Facebook status had been changed to 'in a relationship'. The only difference being she was an adult woman finding out the guy she loves has changed his relationship status to 'engaged to ...'. It was so final, so unbreakable.

"Marinette, do you want to talk now?" Tikki had sat alongside her holder most of the night, comforting her without words and wiping away the rogue tears as they fell.

Marinette had entered her room the previous evening frowning at her phone. She'd said goodnight to her parents, Alya and Nino before marching up to her room muttering something about the signal on her phone or it needing to be charged. Tikki knew the reason was the lack of message from Adrien, and she also knew no message would be arriving. As Marinette walked past her computer towards her charger, Sass had knocked the mouse bringing the screen to life. Marinette had plugged her phone in before walking back and noticing the screen was on.

She froze, and every kwami in that room felt the pain in her heart as her face dropped and a barrage of 'no's' escaped her mouth.

She pulled the computer chair away from her desk and sat on it, her eyes never leaving the screen and Tikki was sure she didn't blink either. She scooted in and began to read the news article, each line being an additional stab to her heart.

"Marinette, talk to me please." Marinette shook her head at her kwami, pulling up google and searching ...

Adrien Agreste and Kagami Tsurugi

Article after article appeared regarding their up and coming engagement, each saying the exact same thing. She needed to know more, but nothing was telling her. Nothing was giving her the information she wanted, though she wasn't sure she knew what that information was in the first place.

Looking at the top of the screen she selected images, attempting to keep the bile down and out of her throat. She'd never cried over a boy before, and to be honest she didn't want to start now, especially when she couldn't date anyway.

Images appeared in their hundreds of Adrien from a young boy, to the most recent ones of him at the fashion show a couple of weeks back. He was beautiful. She opened an image up and noticed it was one from the Winter Solstice Ball. He looked amazing. She began to click through the image wheel and stopped on one of her and him. They looked amazing together. The matching outfits made them look like the dream couple everyone thought they were. It was at that moment her first trip to the sink happened, relieving her of some of the heaviness in the pit of her stomach.

Six hours later and she was still here. Still staring at the screen. Looking at pictures of a teen Adrien on a date with Kagami, and an older Adrien out at a club with her. She was stunning, and Marinette knew if she looked in a mirror at the moment she would fail in comparison.

"He heard, didn't he? That's why he left."

Marinette grabbed hold of her mouse again and continued her search through the internet websites.

Adrien Agreste and Kagami Tsurugi share sweethearts ice cream.

Kagami Tsurugi wins the women's national competition, boyfriend Adrien Agreste supports from the sideline.

Adrien Agreste tells of heartbreak as he splits from girlfriend of six months.

Kagami Tsurugi explains how she is still close friends with her ex, Adrien Agreste.

Marinette read through every single article she found, regardless of the date it was published, she'd managed to go back at least eight years and was trying to find more and more information. She needed to know everything and she needed to check that this was real and that this wasn't just a figment of her imagination.

"He did," Tikki said, flying down and seating herself on the keyboard, blocking Marinette from her frantic typing.

"Please move Tikki, I just need to -"

"No," Tikki said, "no you don't! Do you have any idea how hurt that boy probably is?"

Marinette huffed and lent back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Sure, he was heartbroken. That's why he's back with his childhood sweetheart and getting engaged in a couple of days. I've been played Tikki, and this proves it." She signals to the screen where a picture of Kagami, Adrien and Chloè were leaving a bar together. Kagami's arm threaded through Adrien's and by the look of the date stamp that was this summer. He was out and about with his girlfriend this summer.

"I wonder if she knows what a flirt her boyfriend is? I wonder if she knows Adrien had been spending time with me, and trying to kiss me!" Anger began to boil inside her, and even though she wasn't sure where it had derived from it felt a lot better than the wallowing she had been doing a couple of minutes previously.

"Marinette, don't you think you should talk to him?"

"Talk to Adrien? You are joking right? What do you want me to do? Go and beg him and tell him not to marry her, to marry me instead? Pfft, yeah right! What's the point? I was played, Tikki, I was a hookup for a rich guy who usually gets what he wants!"

"Marinette, I really don't think he's like that-"

"Oh really? Well enlighten me then Tikki, what is Adrien Agreste like?" She glared at her kwami, and Tikki visibly shifted back, away from Marinette's gaze. "I thought so." She flung the blanket off her shoulders and headed over to her phone for the first time since she'd plugged it in the previous night. Unsurprisingly there was no message from Adrien, he was too busy getting engaged she reminded herself. What a joke.

She looked at the others and saw both Alya and Luka had messaged her, she wasn't surprised. She pulled up Alya's first and sent off a quick reply asking her friend to come around later that morning. She needed a rant and Alya would most certainly be on the other end. Marinette couldn't believe she'd said she'd loved him. What an absolute joke! She bet Alya was cringing this morning.

Tell him she said, it'll be worth it she said ... oh yeah, it was really worth it.

She bet Adrien would have loved to have turned her down telling her all about his wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, or even worse asking her to be his mistress. She bet Adrien had a lot of mistresses ... you just needed to look at him to know. He looked and played the part so well.

She looked at Luka's next and wasn't slightly surprised by the message. She looked at the timestamp and saw it had taken him precisely seven minutes after the first article went online (yes, she'd found the original publicist) before he'd messaged her. And of course, it was his usual mumbo jumbo and she had zero idea what he was going on about.

The Snake
I hope your broken string is not unfixable.

What string? She didn't even play an instrument. She looked at the next message which was sent only one hour ago.

The Snake
I see the tune needed to decide between a soft melody and a hard melody, to complete it. It seems to complete his orchestra Adrien needed those hard accents and beats.

She wasn't in the mood for this. She couldn't even understand what the hell he was talking about. She loved Luka, she really did ... but this was the exact reason they separated, she didn't understand a word he said..

The Bug
What are you trying to say?

The Snake
Sometimes we can't fit in a violin when we need a drum, they're so different and not always complimentary to the melodramatic piano rhythm playing in his heart.

If Marinette could swear and then throw her phone out the window she would, but she was sure her parents would have her sent to an asylum, especially if they came upstairs and saw her wrapped up like she was about to go on an expedition to the Antarctic.

The Bug
I have no idea what you're on about!

She moved to her wardrobe and began to pull out clothing. It was times like these she needed comfort, she needed her Chat Noir themed shirt. She could always imagine it was his arms wrapped around her when she wore it adding to the safe feeling he smothered her with when he was around.

Stupid dumb cat.

Stupid dumb Adrien.

Her phone chimed and she looked at the message, squinting at it as she read it. Stupid Luka.

The Snake
You'll find the right partner to duet with, you just need to find the sound that compliments your inner voice.

Compliment her inner voice, she didn't realise the 'F' word was a well known instrument. Her phone chimed again, another message from Luka.

The Snake
My offer is still there for the break away. I'll be leaving later this evening and would be grateful for your company.

Luka's breakaway? She'd completely forgotten about that in all of her self pity. Perhaps she should go? It'd be better than staying here and having to hear and see everything about Adrien Agreste's wonderful proposal, with his perfect smug face, and her perfect hair, as they perfectly agreed to marry each other with the perfect ring, and have the perfect life. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

Her anger continued to boil ... a different reaction to her first last night. Now if she could only find that damn shirt she could begin to move on with her life. Her kitty's comfort surrounding her and soothing her erratic heartbeat and breaking heart.

"Marinette?"

She'd missed the voice of the new arrival in the room, too angry at where she'd put that shirt. She knew it was here, she only wore it a couple of nights ago.

"Marinette?"

She climbed right into the wardrobe thinking it might have fallen down the back. She knew it was here though, so why couldn't she find it!

"Marinette?" The voice was louder and behind her, causing her to jump up and hit her head off the shelf above.

"Ouch!" She turned around rubbing her head only to see Alya standing behind her arms folded and frowning.

"Why are you scurrying in your wardrobe like a squirrel searching for nuts?" She asked, Marinette pressing around on the back of her head to see if there were any lumps from her impact.

"Oh look, you've come with your sense of humour today."

"Woah, and you've lost yours. What the hell, Marinette?"

"I can't find my damn shirt!" Marinette turned away from her friend and walked towards her recently completed rack, maybe she'd hung it on there.

"Mari, stop!"

"Stop what? Feeling? How can I stop feeling when a rich playboy has used and abused me!"

Alya watched as Marinette threw item after item off the rack. A Rena jumper, Carapace jogging bottoms, Bunnyx hoodie, Ladybug tee ... the speed she was ripping them off hangers Alya was quite sure she'd been sewing the items back together for weeks.

"Mari, please, stop!"

"No!" She growled and headed to her draws next.

"What are you looking for?"

"My Chat Noir shirt,"

"You mean the one Adrien was wearing last night?" Marinette stilled and slowly turned around. Alya was quite worried Marinette had turned into the exorcist, her facial expression was terrifying, along with the slow turn of her head.

"Don't you dare say his name in this room!" She spoke through clenched teeth as she looked at Alya, holding what looked like Queen Bee panties at her.

"Is this what all this is about?" Alya waved her hands around Marinette's mess of a room and psychotic look. Marinette walked towards her waving what was in her hand. It was definitely Queen Bee, and, by the looks of it, it was a thong. A nice rhinestone one to be fair.

"He used me Alya!"

"Marinette, did you forget what you said last night? I'm quite sure you said he wasn't the one for you and you would never get together."

"Did you miss the part where I said I loved him? I love him, and I can't be with him and now I definitely can't be with him."

"Marinette," Alya's voice was soft as she moved closer to Marinette and placed an arm around his shoulder guiding her to the chaise and sitting them both down. She kept her friend to her side and hugged into her side and stroked her fingers through her hair. "You need closure, you need to tell him how you feel. Adrien is a nice guy, he wouldn't have just led you on, there must be more to it."

"He tried to kiss me, multiple times." Tikki flew over looking more sheepish than Marinette was used to. "What is it, Tik?"

"You two have kissed." She said, unsure where to look. "After the Winter Solstice Ball. You were both drunk and kind of hands on."

"See! I'm the other woman. I need to get away." Marinette stood up and made her way towards her phone, picking it up and finding her conversation with Luka.

The Bug
Pick me up at seven.

She turned her phone off and placed it back on the side before finding her suitcase and beginning to pack it up with underwear and clothing. She folded the clothing and slammed it into the case. She was still angry. So, so angry!

Item after item went into her case but she still didn't have the main thing she wanted. She wanted her shirt back. She wasn't sure if Alya was talking but she walked out the room, towels in hands and made her way to the bathroom. She slammed the door and stripped herself down to nothingness, stepping into the shower and under the warm water. Once she was fully encompassed the anger passed and the hurt took over. As she washed her hair and face she wasn't sure if the water was from the shower head or her eyes.

•••••

Marinette stood outside the door and took a deep breath. She just needed to knock on the door, greet him as pleasantly as she could and ask for her shirt back. She hoped he wouldn't wonder how she found out where he lived, after all this was embarrassing enough as it was.

What if she was there? What if Kagami answered the door? What if Kagami answered the door in her underwear or a bath towel, in the midst of passion with Adrien? No, she couldn't think about that.

Gulping back the tears, Marinette raised one hand, hitting it against the door at medium strength. Realistically she wanted to break the damn thing down, charge in and beg him to love her. But they were past that now. She had more self respect than that.

She stood waiting for at least a couple of minutes before she decided to knock again. She lifted her hand ready to pound a little louder, when the door swung open and Adrien stood there in front of her, the first thing she noticed was how horrible he looked.

His face morphed from shock, to disbelief as he moved to the side.

"Marinette, please, come in."

Slowly, she edged her way into his apartment and looked around. No Kagami, but one hell of a home. The floor to ceiling windows were accented by black triple glazed frames suiting the monochrome and black aesthetic of the apartment. Neat and clean, as expected.

"I've come to get my shirt back," she turned to face him, crossing her arms over her chest. She refused to look at him because if she did she'd crumble. She'd become a mess and beg him to be hers.

"I'll just go and -" he pointed over his shoulder before turning around and walking in the direction of a long corridor. She guessed it led to his bedroom and that's where the shirt was.

She decided that if this was the one and only time she was in Adrien's apartment she may as well be nosey. Perhaps she could snap some pictures and sell them to the tabloids. She could see the headline now.

Adrien Agreste's love shack. Are you one of the many that have spent the night here?

Marinette slipped off her pink fluffy boots before making her way into the kitchenette and scrunching her lips. A black 'Smeg' fridge complete with a matching 'Smeg' kettle and toaster lined the black granite and white cupboards. The whole place shined and sparkled like it was never used.. So the guy had taste and was ridiculously clean, big whoop!

Following around, she found the open plan dining area with a lounge attached. A big flatscreen television almost filled the one wall and was decorated with a rather impressive sound system. It seemed modelling paid better than she thought.

Under the flatscreen sat an electric fire. The flames flickered as she walked closer and the warmth fired out the vents into the room. She took another glance at the television and noticed it was paused on something. A film maybe? She looked a little closer and studied the scene it was on ... Die Hard. She'd know that white vest and jeans anywhere. A little spark shot through her veins and hit her square in the chest, she argued a lot with her friends about whether this was classed as a Christmas film with majority replying no. But it seemed Adrien did. It seemed he was on her side.

She turned and looked at the coffee table in the middle of the room. It had two plates sitting next to each other and the remote controls; one with sweet treats and macarons and the other with a half eaten Camembert wheel, odd mix but each to their own she supposed. There also sat a cup of steaming hot chocolate, freshly made by the looks of things.

Finally, she turned her attention to the Christmas tree. The most beautiful tree she'd ever seen. It was huge; around seven foot she'd guess, and it dominated the corner of the room. There was no way he'd decorated this himself. If he had hats off to him, it was stunning. Stepping forward she stroked the branch, feeling each of the pines all green in their natural glory. No fakes here. Marinette continued her search, walking around and around until something caught her eye. Something red and green and beautiful. She recognised it instantly and wanted to get a closer look.

A stool stood just to the right of the tree and she pulled it over to climb onto. Stepping carefully, after having a little look around her and checking Adrien wasn't back, she climbed onto the stool and reached up for the decoration. She placed a hand around it to stop it spinning and took it in. It was the bauble from the cabin. The one she liked so much on the tree. He'd brought it. Why had he brought it? Another shock went to her heart and she almost stopped breathing from the impact.

"Marinette?"

The sound of her voice knocked her off balance, losing her footing on the stool.

She began to tumble backwards, her hand letting go of the bauble and the tree to preserve the embarrassment of taking it down, and she fell. She fell straight into the arms of Adrien Agreste.

With her back flat to his chest she could feel each of his breaths whilst her brain spun from his smell. He was divine.

"Marinette?" He said her voice softly by her ear before spinning her around to face him.

His eyes had gone black and his hands were still firmly on her hips. She half felt like he didn't want to let her go.

"Adrien?" She whispered before he answered again, whispering her own name back to her.

They were close. Really, really close. Chest to chest and almost face to face, if it wasn't for the almost foot height difference.

A surge of confidence hit her and she did the one thing she's wanted to do for weeks. She stretched up on the balls of her feet and pressed her lips against his, and she kissed him. She kissed like she never wanted to let him go.