this is it you guys ):

a little soundtrack for the vibes
— i was in heaven ; chelsea cutler
— you were good to me ; jeremy zucker (ac)
— eight ; iu (acoustic)

♡♡♡

"You think I can whack somebody across the head with my crutches?" Jeongguk asked, hobbling after Taehyung, the two of them walking side by side as they approached his dorm.

"Would it be assault? Or like, what if I gently pat their heads with it? Just gently, though."

"I don't think that would be favorable," Taehyung chuckled, staring at him with such fondness anybody could notice it. "Be careful."

"I am careful. I'm the definition of careful," The younger said, scoffing. "I'm so good—,"

He stumbled, underestimating his dumb crutch to foot ratio and nearly fell if it wasn't for Taehyung who was quick enough to grab him by the arms to steady him.

Face unbearably warm and once he wobbled back to a stand, he stared down at the ground.

"You didn't see that."

"What happened to being the definition of careful?" Taehyung teased, reaching over and ruffling his overgrown hair. Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

"That was just a test to see if you would save me," He mumbled softly, nose scrunching together when the older cupped his face, squeezing his cheeks.

"Of course I'd be there to save you," Taehyung said, forcing him to meet his eyes, a small smirk on his lips. "You're an idiot, Jeon."

"No you," Jeongguk grumbled, pouting. "I am a god at crutches. You got fooled by my skills."

"Sure I did," He chuckled, pinching his friend's cheeks, eyes squinting into a smile. "Let's go already. You've been walking for too long."

"I need the exercise," Jeongguk said over his shoulder, already head of him. "I gained weight because of you."

"I don't have abs anymore."

"And does that change my love for you? Not at all," Taehyung grinned, watching Jeongguk, even though he still struggled, manage to get to the door all by himself.

"But it was my abs! They were my sex appeal!" He cried out, exaggerating his words.

"How am I gonna bag bitches now?"

"Do you think you can bag bitches like that?" He asked, gesturing at him between his crutches. "What are you gonna do?"

"Romance them with my crutches," Jeongguk hummed, winking at him. Taehyung rolled his eyes, fighting the smile on his lips, knowing it would only encourage him.

"Like how? Drop them, fall to the ground in front of them, and say 'I've fallen and I can't get up 'coz you're so pretty, my crutches gave out'?"

"I mean, that sounds plausible," Jeongguk stopped by his side, tapping his chin in thought. The second Taehyung turned away to continue on, he heard a clatter behind him.

"Jeongguk what the frick are you doing?" He groaned, watching Jeongguk slowly lower himself to the floor like an idiot.

Unimpressed, he crossed his arms over his chest, staring down at Jeongguk who had pretended to fall.

"You're going to hurt yourself," He jutted his chin over to his brace, but of course, Jeongguk ignored him as he tried to get into character.

"Oh no," He said sarcastically after clearing his throat, flapping his arms around him, testing Taehyung's ability to hold himself back from smiling.

"I have fallen and can't get up."

"Get up loser," Taehyung whispered, chewing on his bottom lip, praying nobody in the hallway would see him being an idiot like this.

"You're so pretty my crutches gave up!" Jeongguk giggled, eyes scrunched in laughter while Taehyung looked the other way, trying to hide the way his entire face flushed pink.

"Have you fallen for me yet?" He asked in between fits, eyes sparkling with the mischief he had grown to miss.

"Clearly you have," Taehyung grumbled, crouching down to gather his crutches and leaned them against the wall. He reached over, wrapping his arms around the younger's waist and helped lift him up.

"Hey, don't use my pickup line against me. I'm supposed to pick you up," Jeongguk said, throwing his arms around his neck as Taehyung stabled him on his feet.

"And yet here I am, picking you up," The edge of his lip curled upward as he stared over at the boy, not at all caring that they were too close, lips fractions away and noses nearly bumping.

"Touché," Jeongguk whispered softly, the pink of his tongue gliding over his own lips, eyes never leaving his except for a mere second, for they glanced down briefly at Taehyung's lips.

But before Taehyung's impulses could get the best of him, he pulled away, snapping out of whatever trance the younger put him into.

"Let's get going," He said, patting Jeongguk's bum, and together, he helped him adjust back in between his crutched, and they were silently on their way.

When he caught up to him (he went slow on purpose to make him feel fast), accomplishment glittered in Jeongguk's eyes as he gave Taehyung the prettiest, toothy smile. Taehyung ruffled his hair, saying he was proud of him, stomach doing all kinds of flips when the younger fist pumped the air.

"See, I'm getting better Specs," Jeongguk leaned against the wall, gaze fixing on Taehyung, who was trying to find the dorm key.

"I can tell," Taehyung glanced at him, hand holding the key hovering over the doorknob. Their eyes met for a fleeting second, but he could tell all of this was genuine.

The stars: they were slowly returning.

Well, it made sense since it had been two months since Jeongguk's injury.

Taehyung was there since the start of everything: the gruesome hours of physical therapy, the evenings where Jeongguk took a step back and fell into that darkness, and mornings where the boy gave him a tired smile, saying he wanted to work harder even though yesterday devastated him.

It wasn't easy, recovering. Jeongguk had to learn how to put weight back on his knee, and as much as he struggled, stumbled, and nearly fell from how much it hurt, he got up again, promising to try harder.

The thing about Jeongguk that he admired the most was that he never seemed to give up.

Even though he chose to that day, there was something in him that refused to give up ever again, and, that, that was why he loved him so much.

He wanted to change. He wanted to get better. He wanted to try to live and find a new purpose.

It honestly made Taehyung want to do the same.

Despite all the shit the world threw at them, all they could was try to live through it, even if it hurt and it was too much to bear.

Because in the end, they were able to find their own kind of happy.

Jeongguk was smiling and laughing more than he used to. Taehyung managed to break him out of his shell, and eventually, the Jeongguk he knew and loved came out: jokes, laughs, and suggestive smiles all in one.

It took a while, but it was worth waiting and sticking by his side through every struggle, every victory, and every moment where their eyes met during difficult times, and they knew they would be okay as long as they were together.

They didn't need a label for what they were. They didn't need to kiss to show how much they cared. All of that would be figured out later, but for now, it didn't matter.

All that really did was knowing that they were going to be okay. They were together, and that, that was enough for them.

"Hey Specs," Jeongguk said, following Taehyung into the dark dorm. "I was thinking."

"Thinking about what?" Taehyung asked, holding the door open for him, biting down on his lip.

"Graduation. We're graduating soon," The younger hummed, hobbling inside, looking at Tae over his shoulder. "Since I don't have volleyball, I spent some time thinking about what I wanna be."

"Really? You figured that out fast," Taehyung chuckled, quietly shutting the door behind, them, leaving them in the dark.

"I know, it's just, I have to go to college still. I wanna do something I could enjoy even if it isn't volleyball," Jeongguk whispered, barely able to see Taehyung as he strode toward him.

"Even if I still feel like my life's over, I gotta move on you know?" Jeongguk said, glancing upward a little to meet his eyes. He could have sworn they were the same height, but he guessed Taehyung managed to snag a centimeter on him.

"You're right. What is it?" Taehyung asked, stopping in front of him, breathing hitched. In the dark, all he could see where Jeongguk's eyes, and there, in the pitch black light, he saw them. L

He saw the beginning of a star twinkle in his eyes.

"I think I wanna take care of kids, like day care."

"Oh?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, taking a second to enjoy a picture of a big guy like Jeongguk waddle with little kids, playing with dolls and giving them piggyback rides.

"It sounds dumb, I know, but I like kids," Jeongguk muttered sheepishly. "I like hanging around with my sisters, so I guess maybe that's the next thing I'm gonna try to work for."

"And maybe... we could even go to college together!"

"That's a good plan, Gguk. I don't think it's dumb at all," Taehyung whispered, about to reach over and slip his palm over his cheek, but before he could, the lights flicked on.

"Surprise!"

San, Jae, Yugyeom, Hyejung, Hoseok, and Jin jumped out from behind the furniture, scaring the shit out of them as they screamed to the top of their lungs.

Jeongguk flinched, bumping into Taehyung who was smiling at him softly while he realized it was a party for him. Eyes wide and mouth hanging open, he blinked, trying to comprehend what was going on.

San and Yugyeom ran up to him, clapping and cheering. They had confetti poppers in their hand, releasing them, and shooting confetti all over them. Jin, Hyejung, and Hoseok had kazoos, making all kinds of noise.

"What's this?" Jeongguk whispered, holding his hands out in front of him, confetti falling into his palms.

"A welcome home party!" Yugyeom and San declared, scooping confetti off the ground and throwing it on a giggling Jeongguk.

"We wanted to congratulate you from leaving the hospital, but because of finals, this party was a little late," Jae said, the noise settling down.

"You guys," Jeongguk gushed, bouncing a little, his hands making tiny fists as he covered his ears in excitement. He immediately looked over at Tae, eyes softening realizing it was him: he was behind this.

"I hate you," Jeongguk punched his arm weakly. "I really, really hate you." At that, Taehyung chuckled.

"We even bought you a cake!" Hyejung walked over to where they stood, and there, in her hands, was a little cake with purple frosting and a volleyball on it.

There, in Taehyung's perfect handwriting, in purple gel frosting was MEANS EVERYTHING CUZ ISSA REAL PARTY.

"I hate all of you," Jeongguk declared, voice nearly cracking. He scanned the room, lips curled into the smallest of smiles, his chin quivering.

"Taehyung put it all together," Jin said, throwing his arm around Taehyung's shoulders.

"He was a bitch about it, but what can you do when you're in love?"

"Shut up," Taehyung grumbled, elbowing Jin's side, who was laughing (windshield wiper and all) at the way his ears reddened.

"You did this for me?" Jeongguk asked, turning toward him. Taehyung nodded, only flinching a little as the younger punched his chest.

"Of course. You went through a lot and you're doing so well," He said, unable to meet his eyes, his hand cupping the side of his neck. "You deserve every good thing, you know?"

"I do?" Jeongguk murmured. Taehyung nodded.

"You do. You deserve it all," He chuckled a little, finally gathering the courage to meet Jeongguk's pretty doe eyes, ignoring the way his stomach did all those stupid flips and turns.

"Specs?"

"Jeon Jeongguk?"

"I love you," He whispered softly, soft enough so that only Taehyung could hear it, his face hovering a few inches away from his own.

Taehyung stiffened, not quite expecting that, but before he could say it back, Jeongguk patted his cheek and turned around, giving all his attention back to the party.

"Why are you here noona?" Jeongguk asked, eyes glittering when his sister set the cake on the coffee table. She stood up straight to meet his gaze, but she wasn't as tall as him.

"I had to celebrate it with you," Hyejung shrugged, reaching over and swiping some frosting over her brother's nose. "I was gonna leave this morning, but Taehyung invited me to this last minute."

"What? I'm sorry!" He held his hands up on defense when the oldest Jeon glared at him. Eventually, she shook her head, and reached over, ruffling Tae's hair.

"I'm joking. But I couldn't miss my baby brother going back to school, hm?" Hyejung pinched his cheek despite his whines. "I'm happy if you're happy, Gguk."

"I'm happy," Jeongguk said, honesty dripping from his vowels, and what really made Taehyung's heart clench was the moment he said that...

He was looking directly at him.

"In a couple months you'll be walking again," San cheered, and the conversation had steered away to small talk as they sat on the couch, drinking boba from Sunshine Sips and passing around bags of chips San and Yugyeom bought.

"But it won't be enough for volleyball," Jeongguk shrugged, leaning his body against Taehyung's, unaware his back was practically against his chest.

"You'll get to that point eventually," Hoseok said. "But you should focus on being able to get back to normal things, kid."

"I know," He grumbled, taking a sip from his boba, brows scrunched together. "I'm taking baby steps for now, but I'll be taking big ass dude steps next time you see me."

"I won't allow you to injure yourself again," Hyejung warned, waving a chip at him. "If you dare do that again, I'll literally snap ur spine in half."

"That was very violent," Yugyeom commented. "Should I be scared?" He whispered to San, who only shrugged.

"With love," Hyejung added, if that even softened anything.

"You better graduate though," She said, changing the subject. "Who's graduating this year?"

"Everyone except San and Yugyeom," Jae gestured around the group. "Yugyeom's a junior, and San's a sophomore."

"Jeez, you guys are young," Jin snorted, leaning back into the couch. "Imagine being a whole ass fetus."

"Hey, I'm sixteen," San muttered, pouting. "I'm old."

"Most of us are eighteen, kiddo," Hoseok let out a laugh. "You're on the edge of baby and even bigger baby."

"Okay, rude," San turned to Yugyeom, arms crossed over his chest, cheeks puffed out, "Am I a baby?"

"You're my baby," Yugyeom bit down on his straw. When everyone was staring at him, he held his hands up in defense, "No homo. I'm wearing socks."

"Oh my god you are gay, admit it. None of that no homo shit," Hoseok groaned, rolling his eyes. "My ex ruined no homo for me, I swear to god."

"Is it gay if I kiss you? Fuck yeah it is," He threw his hands up in the air. "It is gay, if you touch a dude in a non-friendly way. Doesn't matter if you're wearing het pride socks."

"Het pride exists?" Jae asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"No, it doesn't. Attention-seeking straights made that up," Jin sipped at his drink.

"Did I ever say 'no homo' to you Specs?" Jeongguk twisted his head around, accidentally knocking his head against Taehyung's chin. "Oh, fuck, sorry."

"It's fine," Taehyung grumbled, rubbing at his chin, his other hand snaking around Jeongguk's waist by habit as he pulled his body closer to him. "And no, thank god."

"All we ever did was make out and ask if we were pals at the end of it."

"Ya'll did what?" Jin nearly spat out his drink, along with Hyejung. But the rest of them didn't seem to be surprised by the sudden relevation.

"I just assumed you two were idiots who couldn't get their feelings and shit together."

"That was basically it," Jeongguk nodded, "I even sucked him off, swallowed his kid sauce, and went, 'yo, are we friends'? Then I dipped."

"Jeongguk, I did not need to hear that," Hyejung whispered, pinching the bridge of her nose. He said a tiny sorry in her direction, shrinking in Taehyung's arms realizing she was there, listening.

"Did this actually happen though?" Jae asked, looking as though he was trying to hold back a laugh.

"It did," Taehyung confirmed, glad he could hide behind Jeongguk, for his face was practically in flames right now. "Not my proudest moment."

"And why do you call it kid sauce?" Yugyeom asked, disgust contorting his features. "That's like, gross. Call it ejac juice."

"Ejac juice— no. Call it cum. Please, you actual barbarian," Jae shoved Yugyeom, who was beside him. "Never again let those words leave your mouth."

"I hate boys," Hyejung rolled her eyes, quietly sipping at her drink.

"Oh my god same noona," Jeongguk gushed. "Let's be lesbian together."

"That's not how it works—," Taehyung started, but eventually he closed his mouth and shut up. The younger simply chuckled, squirming in his arms, and lacing their hands together on his lap.

"Are they a couple?" Hoseok whispered over to Jae.

"Shh, just let them be," He said, waving him off.

"So, do you listen to girl in red?" Jin suddenly asked Jeongguk's sister, curiousity in his eyes. Hyejung nodded, a little caught off guard by the question.

"When I have the time," She admitted. Yugyeom groaned.

"So Hyejung-noona's off limits too? Why are all the pretty ones gay," He pouted. San and Jae, and probably everyone in the room rolled their eyes.

"You're gay," Jae cupped his hands around his mouth, trying to make his voice louder. "You are so gay, I see the gaylengths of gay radiating off your body."

"I do not radiate gay," Yugyeom sat up, throwing a pillow at him. "I am challenged by the way San looks in shorts. However, I am not gay. No homo. Full on hetero."

"Come on, it's not that hard to admit you like dick," Hoseok said, gesturing at him. "Most of us are gay, or bi. I think Jin's pan? Jae's aro ace. Hyejung is the biggest butch lesbian I've ever encountered."

"Was that a compliment?" She asked.

"Being lesbian is a compliment," Jin snickered. "Some men ain't shit."

"Exactly," Jeongguk agreed, "I used to be bi now I'm just hetero."

"No you aren't. You ain't fooling anyone twink headass," Jin scoffed. Jeongguk gasped, pretending to be offended.

"Shut up sheepy," Jeongguk mumbled, "or else I'll beat you with my crutches."

"Oh I'm so scared," Jin rolled his eyes, only to nearly let out a scream when Jeongguk pushed away from Taehyung, reaching for one of his crutches.

"Please settle down!" Taehyung sighed, pulling the younger back despite him threatening to end Jin's bloodline by wacking him hard with his crutch.

"And also don't you start with the 'no homo' please. I already suffered calling you pal," Taehyung groaned.

"How did that pal thing even work?" Hoseok asked, titling his half empty boba cup toward them. "Did you just go 'oh sorry bruh, kinda accidentally slipped my dick into your ass. We still friends or nah'?"

"Basically," Jeongguk hummed, "but it wasn't on accident. It was my Christmas gift!" He said happily.

"Please, stop. I don't need to know my brother gets dicked down in his freetime," Hyejung begged, covering her face.

"All I want for Christmas is some Grade A Dick," Yugyeom said softly, only to be hit with a pillow by both San and Jae. "Fine, partial homo."

"Why go partial when you can say full homo?" Jin asked, incredulously.

"Just say you like getting your ass stuffed like build-a-bear and go."

"I get my ass stuffed all the—," Taehyung clamped his hand over Jeongguk's mouth, saving them from further embarrassment.

"I got socks on," Yugyeom whispered. At that, everyone rolled their eyes once more.

"I honestly regret putting all of us into a room," Taehyung grumbled, dropping his hand and resting his chin on the dip of Jeongguk's shoulder despite it tickling the younger which made him squirm around.

"It probably wasn't one of your smartest ideas," Jae agreed. "At least you know what to do in the future."

"Exactly," He said, drumming his fingers over the younger's thigh. "But something's missing. I planned for one more thing, but I haven't got a text."

"What is it?" Jeongguk asked, craning his neck back to get a better look at the older's face. "Don't tell me you bought me something."

"It's not that," Hyejung cut in, checking her own phone. "I haven't got a text either. I wonder—,"

"Jeonggukie!!" The screams of three little girls filled the room, and it didn't take long for Jeongguk to register what was happening until his three sisters were trying to climb onto his lap.

"There they are," Taehyung hummed, letting go of Jeongguk as he busied himself with greeting each of his sisters. However, that wasn't who he was focused on.

"What the heck? Lin? Inna? Kyung?" He whispered, giving them all hugs to the best of his ability. "I thought Aunt June took you guys back home?"

"Nope! We stayed with Jungie," Hyelin declared, fitting herself into her brother's lap and snuggling into him. "But Ggukie oppa! We had fun!"

"You had fun? Where?" He asked, eyes glistening as every one of his sisters began speaking at once, gushing over their day and how much fun they had with another oppa.

"He bought us ice cream! And sweets! And we even got you a present!" Hyein squealed. "I think you'll like it, Jeonggukie-oppa."

"What present?" He asked, glancing over at Taehyung, who merely shrugged. "Where is it?" He said, looking at Jeonkyung.

"He has it," Jeonkyung said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. "Jiminie-oppa has it."

"Jimin?" Jeongguk's voice softened, and the second his gaze averted to the door, Taehyung watched him freeze on the spot.

Jimin shut the door behind him, and beneath his arm was a box, his blonde hair a mess over his forehead and his blazer a bit wrinkled. He seemed a little out of place, and he could tell he probably didn't like everyone staring at him, but Jimin took it in stride and pulled his lips into a small smile.

"Hi," Jimin said, holding the box in front of him, bottom lip captured between his teeth. "Sorry, we were late. They wanted ice cream."

"It's all good," Taehyung interupted, for Jeongguk wasn't saying anything. "Is that it?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, here," Jimin nodded hurriedly, handing the box to Hoseok, who passed it on until it was finally with Jeongguk.

"I came up with it, and well, um, think of it as a gift from all of us."

Jeongguk remained silent, which nobody knew if it was bad or good, but nonetheless he opened the gift. He removed the lid, handing it over to his sisters, and finally after going through the wrapping paper, he gasped.

"A volleyball?" He asked, confused, as he pulled it out. But it wasn't just any volleyball.

"We all signed it. The volleyball team, your family, and your friends. There's messages from everyone on it too," Jimin murmured, scratching the side of his neck.

"It's beautiful," Jeongguk said softly, spinning it around in his palms, lips curling upward seeing every message, every name, and god, he didn't know what to say.

"Thank you Chim," He tilted his head up, meeting the older's gaze. "I appreciate it. A lot."

"You're welcome," Jimin breathed out, tucking his blonde hair behind his ear. "Glad you like it, so uh, I guess I'll get going."

"No," Jeongguk said, glancing between Taehyung and Jimin. For a second, his gaze lingered on Tae, and without a word, Taehyung squeezed his hip, encouraging him to keep talking.

"Please, stay," Jeongguk cleared his throat, gesturing at the empty spot beside Jae. "We want you here."

"Oh, okay," Jimin nodded briefly and took the spot beside Jae, awkwardly glancing around at everyone.

It was weird, for nobody really said a thing, until Jeongguk cleared his throat and said—

"So, about getting your ass stuffed—," Only to have a pillow being thrown into his face and scattered laughter before the room burst back into life, everyone continuing on like nothing happened.

Even Jimin was warming up, laughing along, throwing his body into the side of the couch as he did so, and made up stupid jokes when arguments arose over dicks and what was the proper way to say no homo.

"You should talk to him," Taehyung nudged his side, when the party was rolling toward the end, and the girls were getting tired.

"Maybe I should," Jeongguk whispered back, watching as Hyejung got up and announced it was time to go. In that moment, their eyes met, and he knew he couldn't let this go.

"I think I will," He said, giving Jimin a small smile, which surprised the older, for he blinked rapidly and glanced around the room, pale. He always did that when he was nervous.

"You guys should," Taehyung nodded, rubbing his hand up and down his side, helping him gather all his confidence. "You got this, Gguk. You can do it."

"I can do this," Jeongguk repeated, realizing that deep down, part of him still missed his best friend.

No, scratch that, of course he missed him, he missed him with his whole entirety, and Taehyung knew it. He didn't have to say it for him to know because with a friendship like their's, Jeongguk didn't have the power inside of him to throw it away forever.

If he could make up with Taehyung, surely he could makeup with Park Jimin.

♡♡♡

Eventually, everybody said their goodbyes and left, leaving behind Taehyung, Jeongguk, Jimin, Hoseok, and Jin, who stayed back to clean up the dorm before crashing for the night.

Jin and Hoseok were busy cleaning the living room of their mess, while Jeongguk was in the kitchenette with Taehyung and Jimin, watching the two throw away trash and wash dishes together.

Maybe a long time ago, he would have been mad seeing Jimin and Taehyung like this. He would have been irritated, perhaps would even lash out at Jimin for trying to invade every part of his life, when really, it was the opposite.

All those times where Jimin was clinging onto him wasn't to annoy him or to suffocate him. For so long, he didn't understand. He thought Jimin was trying to force this relationship on him that he didn't want, which was partially true, but that wasn't the point.

Their friend group was falling apart, and they were all that was left. But instead of fighting to be friends with Jimin, Jeongguk ran. He ran and tried to avoid it— all these feelings, these situations he didn't want to deal with.

He ran away from Jimin when the older merely tried to fight for him to stay. Sure, there were other things they did that couldn't be ignored and what couldn't be excused, but that was what he failed to see.

Jimin wanted him to stay, but all Jeongguk did was leave. They were both clearly in the wrong, but in the end, deep down, they were still the two little kids who met on the playground twelve years ago.

They may have gotten older and life had gotten in the way and tampered with that innocence that started their friendship, but at the end of the day, they were still Jeongguk and Jimin.

Somewhere in him, he was still the kid with bunny bandaids and a big dream for volleyball, and Jimin was the little boy in a yellow sweater, knees bruised and cut, who promised to be best friends forever and always be by each other's side.

They had something that may not be the same kind of love he had for Taehyung, but love existed in many forms. He did love Jimin even if it wasn't in the way it could have been.

So, he had to apologize, to talk to him. This was his only chance to get his best friend back.

The sorry they said in the hospital was the start, but he knew it was up to them to figure out their end.

"Ah fuck, I have to get going," Jimin announced, glancing at his phone on the counter, realizing how late it was.

"Where are you heading off too?" Jeongguk watched as Taehyung took the last of the trash from Jimin and threw it away, while the blonde hurried to grab his shoes by the door.

"A talk with the coach of Team Korea," Jimin told Taehyung as he shoved his fingers through his hair, pushing back a wave of blonde over his forehead.

"I'm quitting the team."

"You are?" Taehyung asked, his eyebrows not the only one raised. Jimin nodded, fishing his keys off the counter and shoving them into his blazer pocket.

"I'm not gonna play volleyball professionally," Jimin said, cupping the side of his neck as he lingered by the door. "It's not my thing. My dad wanted me to do it, but I think I wanna pursue something else."

"Well, if it makes you happy, go for it," Taehyung hummed, glancing over at Jeongguk. The younger swallowed, realizing he was telling him this was his cue.

"See you," Jimin waved, already half-way out the door.

Rather abruptly, he got up onto his feet, struggling to balance his crutches while he tried to catch up to Jimin. He gave a thumbs up to Taehyung, hobbling forward fast enough to catch the door, and just before Jimin shut it, he shoved the bottom of hos crutch between the door and the wall.

He pushed his way past it, desperate to catch him, and thankfully when he got out, Jimin hadn't gone far. Fuck, he had to say something before he was gone, but his mind was just—

Oh god, why couldn't he say something?! He carded his fingers through his hair, licking at his lips, trying to put a proper sentence together. Shit, he was too slow, and Jimin was almost—

"It's piano, isn't it?"

He shouted out loud the first thing that came to mind, nearly fumbling over his words. Ahead of him, Jimin froze.

"You chose piano," Jeongguk gulped, hands faling back to his crutches to hold himself up. "Your mom loved piano. Is that why you chose to pursue it?"

"Yeah," Jimin said, barely glancing over his shoulder. "She made me really like piano."

"Then that's good. Do it. Do what you love," He prodded forward, not stopping until his body was only a few feet away from Jimin's— a safe distance.

"You deserve to have that chance."

"And you do too," Jimin whipped around, arms crossed over his chest. He eyed him up and down, expression unreadable, but he swore, in his eyes were regret.

"Jimin," Jeongguk's voice softened. "Hyung."

"Jeongguk," Jimin whispered, fingers digging into his arms, the silence between them thick, neither one knowing exacty what to say. "I just wanted to say that—,"

"I'm sorry." The both of them said in unison.

"Oh, uh," The older gulped, drumming his fingers over the side of his arms, gaze averted to the ground, blonde hair falling over his eyes.

"Should we talk?" Jeongguk suggested, gesturing at the ground. Jimin unfolded his arms, one hand slipping into his pocket and the other pulling out his phone to check the time.

"We have to make it quick," Jimin said, grimacing at the clock. "I have to make my decision right away."

"No, I get it. We were supposed to commit today,"
Jeongguk nodded, pressing his lips together. I was supposed to have my first official practice today.

"Shall we sit?"

The older asked before he could lose himself further into his thoughts, and with another nod, the two of them walked over toward the wall and carefully slid to the ground until they were side by side, shoulders brushing.

Jeongguk didn't know what to say, or rather, how to start it. The two of them sat in the empty hallway, staring at the blank wall ahead of them, the lights above them dimmer than usual. He pulled his fine knee up and propped his chin on it, his other hand tracing patterns on his thigh.

Jimin, on the otherhand, tilted his head back, gaze fixed on the ceiling. The only sound he could really hear was their breathing, unmatched, but still there. Every time he exhaled, Jimin inhaled.

God, this wasn't what he planned, but it was his fault for not knowing what to say. He should have known, but he didn't imagine it to be this difficult.

They were friends. They used to be able to tell one another everything, and here he was, struggling to even speak. Beside him, Jimin sighed sharply.

"Y'know what?" Jimin murmured, hanging his head, hands covering his face. Jeongguk glanced at him, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What?" Jeongguk asked, peering closer at him, noticing from behind his tiny hands was a smile forming on his lips.

"I just got a memory," The older whispered, his words met with a soft oh from Jeongguk.

"What was it?" He gulped, leaning his head back into the wall, keeping his gaze focused head.

"We were ten," Jimin said, "and we fought at the piano practice room. It was when you still did your lessons with me. I don't remember what we fought about, but it was bad, and I left you and told you to do whatever you wanted."

"It was raining too," The older chuckled a little, "and I remember I was so mad. And then you called me,, and I was like 'I told you not to call me' but you were crying so hard, apologizing."

"That was almost eight years ago," He snorted, eyes falling shut at the distant memory he didn't think Jimin would remember up until now. It was one of their earliest fights, back when they rarely fought.

"Wasn't it because I told you I chose more volleyball practice hours over piano lessons with you?"

"Yeah," Jimin murmured, sliding his palms down his thighs. "Then we don't know where you were. You said you'd get a taxi, and I waited for you, in the rain. I was sitting against the wall, like this, and then I saw you, ran up to you, and I hugged you."

"I hugged you, and then I apologized, and I promised... we weren't ever gonna fight like this again."

"Is that why you're laughing? Because we fought again?" Jeongguk asked, and when he did turn his head to look at him, his breath hitched the second their gazes met.

"I guess," He couldn't quite tell what was going on in Jimin's mind. He remembered he used to be able to know how he felt with one look, but somehow, over the years, Jimin became harder to read.

"We made a lot of promises back then," Jimin said, gaze unwavering. "We broke all of them."

"We suck at keeping promises then," Jeongguk said, snickering a little. Jimin rolled his eyes, but he couldn't miss the smile that graced his lips.

"And we're real good at beating around the bush," The older exhaled, sitting up, turning his attention to his lap. "Jeongguk, I— I-I'm sorry. I really am."

"Just looking back at it, I shouldn't have done what I did, or said what I said," He whispered, fiddling with his fingers over his lap. "I was horrible to you. It was my worst fear to lose you, but I guess in the end, I lost you anyways hm?"

"I was so worried, trying not to lose you, but I fucked up. I j-just— I fucked up."

"You didn't lose me, hyung," Jeongguk said, placing his hand over his forearm, biting down on his lip when the older's head whipped up, glossy gaze meeting his own.

"I'm sorry, too. I wasn't clear with anything."

"I led you on," He added, gently squeezing his arm before pulling away. "I shouldn't have done that either. I knew how you felt, and yet I still did what I did. It was my fault too."

"Looks like we're both at fault then," Jimin cracked a smile, his lips trembling, struggling to hold. The younger hummed, shaking his head.

"Yeah, we suck," He chuckled half-heartedly, a knot beginning to tie itself within his throat. "But I don't want to be bad... at this. I don't want to be mad at you forever."

"I don't want to hurt you," Jimin admitted. "If you want my honesty, I will always fucking love you, you little shithead."

"It's so easy to love you, you know?"

"Did you not see how my last actual relationship went?" Jeongguk snorted, finally earning a laugh from the older. He grinned shyly to himself when Jimin nudged his side, laughing against him.

"Okay, maybe it isn't, but still. I love you as my best friend, if I even deserve that title," Jimin said, firmly. "You being happy means so much to me."

"But you deserve to be happy too, hyung," Jeongguk murmured. "You deserve to be loved, and to have love, too." At that, Jimin winced.

"I think I'm gonna take a break from all the love bullshit," Jimin chuckled dryly, scratching the side of his neck. "It's not my thing."

"No, I get it. I barely understand it too, except that it's there," The younger hummed. "But seriously, I want you to be happy, and if doing piano and music makes you happy, do it."

"Just because you made mistakes in the past, doesn't mean you don't deserve happiness."

"Yeah," Jimin nodded, swallowing. "When did you become so wise?"

"Since I fell in love with Taehyung," He let out a gentle laugh, fondness flooding his chest with this warmth he couldn't quite describe.

"He changed you," Jimin pointed out when the laughter between them died out. "In a good way. You're so much more like yourself. You remind me a lot of how you were back then."

"I didn't know it was that obvious," Jeongguk grinned, ears tinged red. "But yeah, I get what you mean. Around him, I can just be me."

"I'm glad you found him then," Jimin whispered.

"You look so much happier."

Jimin glanced at his phone again, cursing when he saw the time. He scrambled up to his feet, helping Jeongguk as the younger struggled to get up. He handed him his crutches, somehow still careful even though he was clearly rushing.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I have to go," Jimin shoved his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry we had to cut this short, but do you think it's possible if we can talk again?"

"Of course. We got a lot to catch up on," The edge of his lips lifted into a smile, holding his hand out.

"I miss you, hyung."

"I miss you, too," The older whispered back, taking his hand into his and squeezing firmly before he had to turn around and head toward the elevator.

When Jeongguk went back to the dorm, Taehyung was waiting for him with the door open. As he stood in front of him, he inhaled slowly, finally feeling as if he could hold up his shoulders upright, a small smile unraveling over his lips. 

Everything, in that moment, seemed to become lighter— more bearable, even.

"Are you two okay now?" Taehyung asked, helping him get inside before shutting the door behind him.

"I think so," Jeongguk said, stopping by the front, waiting for Taehyung to turn back to him. "I think we still have a lot of things to sort out before we get back to being friends."

"I get that," The older nodded, sliding his hands into his pockets. "You feeling okay?" He jutted his chin down at his knee brace.

Jeongguk said nothing, instead he spent the silence studying Taehyung's features, wondering how the fuck he got so lucky with this boy.

Not only was he beautiful behind those thick glasses frames and curly black hair (he recently got bullied into getting a perm), just looking at him was enough to ease all his worries.

He could rely on him, but at the same time, loving Taehyung taught him how to grow on his own, and he supposed that was made loving him his favorite part of existing.

This boy changed him. Jimin was right. Who would have thought the nerd could change the fuckboy?

At the beginning of this, he couldn't even recognize who he was. He hid behind volleyball, believing it was enough, that it was the only thing he deserved. All his life, he worried about others, forcing himself into this mould others would approve of.

He did things he wasn't proud of, thinking others would accept him. He chose to be alone, holding everyone at a distance, knowing that things would never be permanent. He wasn't really himself.

It was also so much easier to run than to face the things that scared him, that hurt him.

But it all changed when he met Taehyung. When he met him, his entire fucking world seemed to spin faster, and everything he ever knew became just as strange as himself.

For the first time in years, he could recognize himself.

Suddenly, he didn't give a damn about what others thought, ditching the hook-ups and parties for time spent at a pet shelter, a fake date making bracelets, and a farm, where he realized making 'stars and galaxies' together was way more better than one night stands.

He just couldn't run away when Taehyung drew him close, holding his hand out to him as though if he held on, everything they faced together would be okay.

Repelled by every thing else, Taehyung seemed to be the only one that he clung to. He was his safety net; the home he would always go back to.

He was his person, his always. He was the only one that he managed to love more than anything else.

And even though the idea of things being temporary scared the shit out of him, loving Taehyung made him realize he had to appreciate everything— temporary or not—because it still mattered.

Everyone and everything was still capable of being loved and giving love.

And despite how much he hated losing, he supposed if you didn't lose the things that meant the most to you, you would never realize how important it was in the first place, or rather, how to live life.

He was so set on one passion, he didn't realize there were other things he could pour himself into, that he could love just as intensely.

But at the end of this, after all the pain and happiness that came with it, Jeongguk knew, deep down, that he changed for the better.

All of this was for the better.

"You're quiet," Taehyung's eyes narrowed as the younger hobbled forward until the distance between them was mere an arm's length away.

"Is everything alright?" He asked, brows furrowing when Jeongguk removed his crutches and rested them against the wall.

"Love can't describe how much I love you," Jeongguk threw his arms around his neck, nearly catching Tae off guard, making him stumble back to support his weight.

"That's funny, 'cuz I love you more than love too," Taehyung chuckled, wrapping his arms around his tiny waist, holding him so close their thighs pressed against one another's.

"Seriously, the defintion of love isn't enough," He said, fingers entangling with the long curtain of hair behind Taehyung's neck.

"What's gotten into you?" Taehyung asked, leaning closer. "Why the sudden confession?"

"Because," Jeongguk whispered, but before he could continue on with how much he fucking love him and a dramatic ass speech that might end with some kiss (he missed kissing him), his phone rang in his pocket.

"One second," He grumbled, pulling back to get his phone. He slid the call open, bringing it up to his ears.

"Hello? Dad?" He raised an eyebrow at Taehyung, wondering what the hell his dad was calling him so late for.

"I have some news for you, kiddo," His dad said into the phone. Jeongguk's expression softened as he brought his phone between Tae and him, putting it on speaker.

"And what is that?" Jeongguk asked, glancing back and forth from Taehyung's concerned expresion to the call.

"Japan made an offer."

"They did what? Why? I'm injured," His brows knitted together into a bunch when his dad let out a laugh. He glanced at Taehyung, but the older simply shrugged, just as confused as he was.

"They love your ethic, so they proposed to help you get back on your feet."

"What?" Jeongguk gasped. "You're kidding."

"I'm not. They want you to come to Japan, go to school there, while also participate in their rehab in their elite team center," His dad said.

Eyes splaying wide, Jeongguk whipped his head up to meet Taehyung's gaze, not at all expecting this. He mouthed oh my god repeatedly, smacking the older's shoulder in excitement as it took every fiber of himself not to explode and jump off the walls.

This couldn't be happening. Fuck.

"I'll give you some time to answer, but this is a really good deal, Jeongguk. They want you to go right after graduation. Give it some time, and maybe you can make it to the Olympics," And with a few clumsy goodbyes, the call ended.

"You have to take it," was the first thing Taehyung said.

"But," Jeongguk started, still stunned, only to have a hand clamped over his mouth. Taehyung shook his head.

"You're going to take it," The older murmured softly, removing his hand from Jeongguk's mouth to cup the side of his cheek.

"We were going to go to college together," He whispered, but the older simply shook his head again.

"Gguk, this was your dream," Taehyung pressed, however, it was Jeongguk's turn to cut him off.

"You are my dream. Dreams can be added to, Tae, and you," He grabbed his face between his palms, thumbs running over his cheeks. "Are part of it."

"Did I say I was going to leave you? No. I'm saying, this is your second chance. You got your second chance with me, Gguk, and look at us now," He whispered tenderly.

"You'll regret it if you don't take it," Taehyung said, watching as the boy deflated in front of him. "Don't toss away your chance at getting something you love back for me."

"It's not worth it."

"I beg to differ," Jeongguk pouted, meeting his loving gaze (which was also kinda scary what the fuck), nose scrunched.

But eventually, he let the older's words settle in, and he couldn't help but agree. This was his second chance, and he wasn't sure if he could ever get an opportunity like this ever again.

"Alright, but this really fucked everything up," The younger let out a broken laugh, his forehead leaning foreward, pressing against the older's.

"What do you mean?" Taehyung asked, running his thumb over the curve of his cheek.

"I was literally gonna profess my undying love for you in some big ass speech and then kiss you, but I guess that has to be put on hold, huh?" Jeongguk whispered. At that, Taehyung's gaze softened.

"Gguk, you know that wouldn't have been a good idea," Taehyung said. Jeongguk froze, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Me confessing and kissing you... or?"

"Us getting back together right now wouldn't be a good idea," The older corrected. Jeongguk's lips curved into an oval, his shoulders sagging.

"Shit, no, you're right," Jeongguk pulled his face away from him, unable to miss the way Taehyung's lips were pressed into a frown. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"No, it's fine," Taehyung chuckled a little. "You know the saying, right person, wrong timing?" The other nodded.

"I think that's us," He said, to which Jeongguk rolled his eyes at.

"No duh, who else would it be," Jeongguk snorted, placing his hands on Taehyung's shoulders. "Okay, but I get your point. We couldn't even date for longer than a month."

"Long distance might not be the move."

"I'm not saying I'm not considering the idea, being yours, again," Taehyung teased, pinching his cheek, which made Jeongguk swat his hand away.

"But I just got you back. I don't wanna lose you."

"Yeah, no, I get it. Gosh, could I take back the whole confession and kiss thing? Like correct it with, I'm gonna confess my love and then reject you?" He asked, earning a snort from the older.

"One day, you can kiss me again," Taehyung smirked, "but not now. Some other time. You go work on getting better, alright?"

"But if I can't kiss you, does that mean you get to kiss other guys?" Jeongguk asked. "Okay, no, ignore that. When I leave, feel free to date whoever you want."

"HOWEVER, you gotta let them know I was your boyfriend first okay? And you gotta let me facetime them so I can make sure they're good for you, okay?" Jeongguk tried to be threatening, but he couldn't when Taehyung was staring so fondly at him.

"If only I get to do the same for you," Taehyung nodded, hand sliding down to cup the side of the younger's neck.

"Fine. That's a deal. I know you will never find someone as funny and sexy as me though," Jeongguk teased, lightly smacking the older's chest, the two of them snickering softly.

"I guess this is it. We're breaking up again," The younger breathed out, the laughter finally dying down, leaving the two of them just staring at one another.

"Okay, but," He whispered, voice slightly breaking. "Can I like kiss your cheek? I really miss fucking kissing you already."

"Gguk," Taehyung warned, but of course, he gave in. Jeongguk sucked in a shaky breath, unsure why a cheek kiss was making his hands all clammy and gross like a premature teenager, but it was.

He eventually gathered the guts to lean in slowly, lips hovering over the soft patch of skin. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips firmly against his cheek, lingering there for a few seconds, his hand placed over the other side of Taehyung's cheek, holding him in place.

When he pulled back, the audible sound of his lips pulling away filling the heavy silence, he leaned his forehead against the side of his cheek, exhaling shakily.

"M'gonna miss you," Jeongguk whispered, running his fingers over the curve of Taehyung's jaw. "I'll call you every day, and you gotta visit, okay?"

"Promise," Taehyung sounded strained as he held Jeongguk's waist closer, as if he would let go now, the moment would end and neither of them wanted that.

"Fuck, I love you," Jeonggum murmured against his cheek. "I'll always fucking love you."

Taehyung pulled away, body curving into his as he held him tight, crushing him in a hug. He buried his face into the side of his neck, inhaling sharply as his fingers dug into Jeongguk's back.

"I'll keep loving you even though you're going away," Taehyung mumbled, "Take care, alright?" He said, sniffling a little when he pulled back.

"Study hard while m'gone," Jeongguk tried to make a joke to lighten the mood, but he himself began to choke over his own words.

"Yeah," Taehyung nodded stiffly, eyes glossed over with his own tears. "I love you."

"I love you too," Jeongguk repeated, knowing he would say those words for the rest of his entire life.

"Always?" Taehyung asked, chuckling weakly as he tried to wipe at the tears falling from his eyes with the back of his palm.

Jeongguk nodded, saying fuck-it and wiping away the older's tears for him, holding his face ever so delicately. Fuck, he knew this wasn't the end for them, but he couldn't help but hate it. Hate that he was leaving him when they finally got back together.

"Always," Jeongguk whispered back, meaning every word. "Can you promise me one more thing?" The older nodded.

"Best friends?" It was ridiculous, but at that, he chuckled, the sound sounding more like a soft sob before he nodded again, eagerly this time.

Taehyung wiped at his eyes, smiling wide. "Best friends."

♡♡♡

stay tuned for the epilogue.