20 more chapters and htt
is over )): makes me saddd

♡︎♡︎♡︎

"Nice hickey," Jeongguk's hand clamped to the side of his neck, eyes widened as he dropped his cereal spoon back into the bowl. He glanced up, seeing Taehyung in his uniform.

"Wonder who gave that to you," Taehyung snorted, and for a second the younger genuinely thought he must have forgotten what happened, and a part of him was slightly disappointed.

Taehyung was staring at him, more specifically the hickey, while his fingers latched the buttons of his button-up. Jeongguk realized he never saw the older shirtless before, but his unbuttoned exposed a small glimpse of his tummy.

Smooth, an expanse of tan. No sight of any muscle, but a flat tummy. Then it was gone, thoughts ending and shirt finally buttoned.

Before either one of them could say anything, his gaze averted upward, meeting his own. He didn't know what to say, really, but Taehyung's stare was different, more intense. Jeongguk's lips pressed into a line, and he knew Taehyung already had his fun.

It was his turn now.

"Can I ask you something hyung?" Jeongguk teased, watching the way Taehyung stiffened while he was putting his tie on by the wall mirror. So maybe he didn't forget it— good.

"So, you grabbed my ass. How was it?"

Taehyung choked, hands fumbling around his tie after Jeongguk's words settled in. He spared a nasty glare at him, lips tight and eyes slightly narrowed. Jeongguk's smirk grew, silently teasing the older as he struggled to properly put his tie on.

"Wanna rate your experience? From one to fuck, Jeongguk your ass is heavenly?" He continued, even chuckling a little to himself when Taehyung gave up.

"Don't know about you, but my ass is fantastic."

The smile he wore on his lips when Taehyung turned around broadened, gaze following his the second he appeared by the edge of the counter. Jeongguk faced him, arms crossed over his chest as the older eyed him up and down, expression unreadable.

"What hyung?" Jeongguk continued, enjoying the way Taehyung's chest rose unevenly at the title.

"Embarassed to say my ass felt good?"

"I really hate you," Taehyung said, taking big a step closer, trapping Jeongguk between the counter and his build that consisted of very broad shoulders.

"No you don't, Specs," The younger snorted, staring him down, glad that they were the same height so he didn't have to feel more like a stupid bottom than he already was (he wasn't complaining though).

"At least," He watched the older lick his lips, the tip of his pink tongue swiping across his botton lip, wettening the skin. Jeongguk yanked his attention away from it, trying to focus on his features.

"At least what?" Jeongguk challenged, standing up straighter. Taehyung simply snorted.

"At least I don't go hard in a milisecond when I get called princess." At that, the younger deflated, ears already burning at the nickname.

"Oh, and don't forget. You humped my thigh, too."

"I-I, hey, no," He tried to get a grip of the situation, but Taehyung already won— he could tell, and the smirk on his lips signifed another victory.

Just before Jeongguk could say something back over the tangle of his tongue, Yeontan started yapping at Taehyung. Oh, right, they had a dog now. The little guy took Taehyung's attention, and Jeongguk was somewhat thankful, but a part of him wanted to see what would happen.

Wait, no, he didn't. Jeongguk snapped out of it, turning back to his cereal, wondering what the hell he was thinking. Maybe it was the dumb exhaustion talking, or the fact he was heavily sex deprived.

So sex deprived, he really wanted Taehyung to pin him against the counter. What the fuck, Jeongguk.

"Hey little guy," Taehyung picked the ball of fluff into his arms, letting the little dude nibble at his long fingers. "I didn't forget about you, Tannie."

And I didn't forget about how you touched me last night and made me so hard it hurt but it's okay. Twas a vibe anyways, Jeongguk wanted to say but he supposed it was better to stay quiet.

"Do you have a plan for how we're gonna take care of him?" He asked, petting the puppy with a gentle smile, the suggestiveness in his stare already gone.

"Made shifts with my friends," Jeongguk cleared his throat, trying to push all his gross, sex deprived thoughts out of his mind to actually have a decent conversation with his best friend.

"Yoongi and Namjoon?" Taehyung asked, but the younger simply shook his head.

"Nope. San and Yugyeom agreed to be his uncles. We couldn't get Jae to agree, but he said he'll take care of him," Jeongguk told him, watching as the older set him back down so he could feel him some kibble Jeongguk bought the other day.

"I'm glad you have new friends," He said, joining the younger by the counter once more while Yeontan munched happily on dog food.

"Me too," The younger nodded, but he could tell Taehyung wasn't focused on him— his gaze was fixed on the hickey on his neck. Jeongguk's brow furrowed as Taehyung's hand gently brushed his neck, thumb pressing lightly on the bruise.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't really know anymore," Taehyung murmured.

When his hand dropped back to his side, Taehyung's gaze shifted upward, finally meeting his. Neither one of them said a word, and Jeongguk wasn't sure if he wanted to say anything, if there was really much to say to one another.

They were aware of what happened last night— he knew that for sure. He swore he could still find the older's hand heavy between his legs, squeezing his thighs tight while he left light kisses down his neck, mumbling his name in between each gentle press of his lips.

It wasn't exactly what best friends did, and he wasn't so sure what they did anymore, but he knew he certainly wasn't going to be the idiot who brought it up and made things awkward.

Thankfully, Taehyung was the first to clear his throat, "I guess we should get going?"

"Yeah, we should," And Jeongguk guessed that was it. They weren't going to talk about it, and he supposed maybe it was the right thing to do.

♡︎♡︎♡︎

"So did ya'll fuck?"

Jeongguk was drying his hair by the locker, a towel wrapped around his waist as Yugyeom and San sat on the bench in front of him, looking up at him like two little puppies waiting for a treat.

"Excuse me?" Jeongguk asked, bending down to grab his shirt off the floor and wincing slightly, his knee aching dully but he didn't put much thought into it since this wasn't the first time. His knee was probably just sore again.

"I asked, did ya'll fuck?" Yugyeom smirked. "You haven't told us shit for a week, but If I was Kim, I wouldn't reject your body." At that, Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

"Like look at you. Pure, walking art of muscle."

"Gyeom, you're straighter than a pole," Jeongguk snorted, smacking him with the edge of his towel, unable to hide his smile. God, he was dumb.

"Friendly reminder that even poles can have dents in them," San cut in, giggling when Yugyeom nudged his side, telling him to shut up.

"Okay but please, spill. We're dry, and Jae refuses to talk to us 'coz Yugs broke his vibrator."

"Hey!! I thought it was those bendable ones for your back!"

"I— you know what, I don't need to entertain you," The oldest grimaced, drying off the back of his hair. "Plus there's nothing to say." He rolled his eyes again when the two idiots deflated.

Well, most of that was a lie. Something did happen, and Jeongguk was sure both of them were aware but some silent agreement to never mention it was put into place right away.

There really wasn't much of a question when both of them woke up with raging boners.

Jeongguk really did expect things to be weird, but the mutual decision to pretend that never happened seemed to work wonders on them. Taehyung and he continued the same, spending time together every chance they could, and ending their nights on the couch sitting two feet apart.

With the addition of Yeontan, the two of them had been spending even more time than usual. Jeongguk knew how to smuggle the guy out of the dorms for walks and potty breaks, while Taehyung chased after him, laughing so hard and whisper-yelling for him to not drop the dog.

Things were practically perfect with Specs, and there was nothing Jeongguk wanted to change about that.

He couldn't complain when both of them were finally happy. Recently, Taehyung seemed to look better than he did almost two weeks ago.

"Please tell us if you fucked," San begged, clasping his hands together along with dumbfuck right next to him. "We need gossip to thrive."

"No you don't," Jeongguk quickly pulled on a pair of underwear and some sweatpants beneath his towel before dropping it to the ground. "But," He raised an eyebrow at them the second they shot up in posture.

"We did not fuck. Sorry." Yugyeom and San groaned, all their hopes going down the drain.

"Hear me out," The oldest said, hanging his towel in his locker while the two exchange gloomy looks with one another. "I don't want Specs like that. We made it clear we're just friends."

"Friends my ass," Yugyeom crossed his arms over his chest. "I see the way Kim looks at you. Looks like he wants to dick you down."

Jeongguk nearly choked on oxygen, and before he spoke, he cleared his throat in order to regain his composure. "That's not true. You're seeing things."

"And you stare at him like you wanna dick him down too," San added, interrupting Yugyeom. "It's mutual. Ya'll wanna shove your dicks into each other'sass.

"I think that's a strong reason to date him."

"There's also your chemistry. Ya'll are too close to be just friends," Yugyeom said. "Even I don't cuddle San at night like you two do."

"Who told you that?" Jeongguk's eyebrows knitted together, the older's ears burning as he grabbed his shirt out of the pile of clothes in his locker. These two were ridiculous. San rolled his eyes.

"We didn't know, but you basically confirmed it!" He said, throwing his arms exasperatedly into the air, but before he could saying anything else—

"Kim Taehyung's a slut."

Jeongguk stiffened after he put on a shirt, his jaw clenching tight the second he heard those words. He slowly turned around, unable to ignore the way his heart tightened thinking guys like San and Yugyeom would say something like that.

God, he thought they were his friends, some people that were better than the guys that Jeongguk once let get close to him. But when he studied both of their faces, he realized it was neither of them for the way both of them got to their feet to find who said that.

"Who said that?" Jeongguk said, voice oddly cool as the lockerroom chatter fell silent. He surveyed the faces of boys he knew, and those he wasn't quite so familiar with, trying to find the culprit.

Nobody could say that about his Specs without any consequences.

"Let me repeat myself again," He snarled lowly, fists clenching at his sides. "Who said that?"

"That wasn't funny you guys," San snapped, and it was weird, seeing him angry; eyes narrowed, jaw tight, and shoulders squared. Yugyeom was the same but seemed to be more focused.

Everyone was silent now that Jeongguk walked to the center of the lockers, stare hardened, features unreadable, and radiating pure intimidation as he scanned the crowd of boys, looking for the bastard who said that.

It was dead silent except for the occasional sound of metal clinking against another locker, or the uneven breaths of a freshman not at all used to Jeongguk's calmed and collected rage directed toward them.

It was suffocating, room boiling, and everyone suddenly felt the pressing weight of guilt despite the fact only one person spoke.

Everybody knew to never piss off the captain, or else they wanted to face his rage.

"I said what I heard, cap," He swiveled his head to the voice that spoke up, teeth grinding against one another from how hard his jaw clenched.

He knew who the person was the second his gaze fell on him. Pretty face, too muscular and bulky for a volleyball player (showed his true priorities), and was a regular on the bench, always talking shit instead of improving.

A wreckless junior. Big-mouthed. One of Jimin's.

Jeongguk sauntered toward him, slowly at first, taking his precious time to get to him, knowing every second was probably eating away at his nerves. The junior was scared, the unbothered front merely a facade which Jeongguk himself personally knew.

"Who told you that?" Jeongguk asked, stopping in front of him, arms pressed behind his back because he knew he was the captain; he had morals, control.

He couldn't throw a punch— it would hurt the team, and it wouldn't do anything more but make a mess. As much as his fists itched to get a hit on this guy for talking bad on his Specs, he knew he couldn't.

So he had to deal with it another way.

"Doesn't matter who did. I stick to my word, cap," The junior bit, trying to spit venom on him, but Jeongguk wasn't having it. He took a step closer, gaze narrowing, lips creasing into a permanent scowl.

"Really? And do you know Kim Taehyung?" He asked, eyeing him up and down. He never liked the guy. Bastards that joined just to get a hook-up and not because they loved the sport.

"No, but all I know is that he's a desperate slut," The junior snapped. "Heard he begged for Park's dick a couple weeks ago. Cried his eyes out when Park said no." The fuck.

That did not sound like Taehyung— Jeongguk knew that. He didn't even want sex.

"Don't ever speak about him like that," Jeongguk sneered, "What's your name?"

He demanded, but when the junior said nothing, he banged the side of his fist against the locker, making everyone in the room flinch. Even the nasty little fucker.

"Kang Jungho," The brat swallowed, still trying to look tough but Jeongguk was already cracking at his facade. Fuck, he wanted to punch him, give him hell for talking about Taehyung like that but he couldn't.

So he cleared his throat, lightly shoving the junior back as a silent warning before turning around to survey the entire room of fearful faces. He tried his hardest to keep calm, knuckles white by his sides and veins protruding from his clenched muscles.

"Everyone get dressed," Jeongguk shouted, "Kang here just earned you two miles to run." He turned around to face the junior amid the silence, ignoring the groans of everyone else as he zeroed his attention on the dumb bastard.

"You, you get five. Run me five miles, and tell me where the hell Park Jimin is," He seethed, practically trembling with rage.

The junior finally broke and pointed toward the showers. Jeongguk nodded briefly, shouting at them to run the entire time, a vein throbbing in his neck. However, he glanced over at Yugyeom and San apologetically, and the two jogged over to him.

"Two miles are nothing for us cap. We'll deal with bitchass, and you go deal with Parky," Yugyeom patted his back, and with one last assuring smile from San, Jeongguk went to find Jimin.

"Go defend your man!" He heard San shout from behind him.

He maneuvered around the lockers, seething with pure, unadulterated agitation as he approached the showers only seeing red. He was a little relieved the junior was saying the truth when he saw the steam and heard the running water drum against tiles.

Jeongguk leaned against the wall as Jimin shut off the shower, fuming. He pushed off it when he heard the water stop, and he stood there, impatiently waiting for Jimin to get dressed.

And when he emerged, Jeongguk's brows furrowed, jaw tightening and shoulders tensing as the older greeted him with a smile.

"Nice to see you Jeonggukie. It's been awhile, and you know, Namjoon, Yoongi, and I miss you," Jimin mused, but Jeongguk wasn't having it.

He already gave him his time, spent every ounce of his patience and understanding into Jimin just for his trust to be broken over and over again. He was done with it— done, with him.

He should have left him a long time ago. Fuck, he should have never let Taehyung date him.

"What happened with Taehyung?" Jeongguk snarled, following after the older back to his locker.

"Nothing. We're doing just fine," Jimin said cheerfully, ignoring the way Jeongguk scoffed.

"Bullshit. I heard one of your fucks call him a slut. You know damn well he isn't like that," He snapped, but Jimin wasn't listening to him. He stopped and slammed the side of his fist against the lockers, making Jimin stop and flinch.

"Look at me," Jeongguk shouted, finally able to blow off some steam now that nobody was in the room. "I want to know what happened."

"Why do you care? You said yourself you already heard it," Jimin finally turned around, arms crossed over his chest. "He's a slut, but you don't wanna admit it."

"Because I know him for fuck's sake!" He yelled. "I fucking know him, and he doesn't—,"

"—And so? People could change, Jeongguk. Your little innocent 'Specs' wanted me so bad, but I wasn't ready for it," Jimin flinched as Jeongguk shook his head, shoving his fingers through his hair.

"Stop the lies, already. Stop playing the fucking victim," Jeongguk shouted. "I'm tired of this. You acting like you did nothing wrong when you did. He was hurting because of you."

Suddenly, his shoulders dropped, his entire blood running fucking cold. "You forced him to have sex with you, didn't you?"

"Gguk, you're really believing him over your best friend? I know more about you than he does. I know about your sisters, and your mom," Jimin rolled his eyes, but he could hear the break in his voice.

"Y-you forced him to have sex when he wasn't ready," His voice dropped to a whisper as he stared at the older, expression unreadable.

"Stop this," Jimin stepped forward, shoving him back. "You are my best friend. You should be on my fucking side! Not that attention seeking slut's!"

Jeongguk froze, swatting Jimin's hands away from him. He swallowed thickly, chest tightening as he could picture the fear in Taehyung's eyes, the hurt that followed his Specs for weeks, and the tears he so badly wanted to soothe. All of that was because of him— Jimin.

He finally looked up, jaw clenched so hard, a muscle twitched on the curve. He shook his head slowly, tongue poking aggressively into the side of his cheek.

"You're not my bestfriend anymore."

"Gguk, please—," Jimin started, but Jeongguk cut him off.

"Don't. I thought we could get over this, but I guess we can't, hm?" Jeongguk scoffed, placing his hands on his hips, trying to refrain himself from punching somebody today.

"We're done. I should have ended this in the summer. I knew you couldn't handle it."

"Jeongguk, I'm sorry. I was just mad at him, at me, at us," Jimin said, desperation building in his words as Jeongguk refused to look at him. "He was being so frustrating, and I don't know. I swear I—,"

"—Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Don't use what you did to justify for anything else," Jeongguk said, tone oddly calmed despite his entire body trembling with rage and disappointment.

"We can talk about this!" The older tried, but at that, he simple rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"You want to talk? You really wanna fucking talk now? Jimin, give it up. We were over the second we had sex and you got attached after you promised me you wouldn't," He sneered. "And you didn't give it up and tried to pressure me into something I told you I didn't want."

"I needed you Jeongguk. I wanted you," Jimin's voice broke. "You left me when I needed you the most, and it hurt!"

"I was there for you as a friend, but of course you wanted more. Don't you realize how much that hurt me?" Jeongguk snapped. "You didn't respect what I wanted, and you did it again with Taehyung."

"My mom died that summer."

"I remember," Jeongguk whispered, throat closing. "I knew that, and I offered to be there for you, but you ignored me. You ignored me every time I tried to reach out to you."

"I needed you," Jimin repeated. Jeongguk shook his head.

"And you had me, but you just weren't satisfied," He said softly, inhaling slowly. "I loved you, as my best friend, and it hurt you didn't understand after every time I tried... to understand you."

"Jeongguk, don't," The older cried out, eyes rimmed with red. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

"It's not me you should be saying sorry to anymore," Jeongguk whispered, sliding his hand down the side of neck, exhaling unevenly. "I'm sorry that it had to be this way. I never wanted it to be this way."

It was the truth. He wanted to talk about this in a different way, and maybe salvage whatever was left of their friendship, but now there was nothing but shattered pieces left behind.

Pieces that were far too broken to put together, pieces that already dug into his skin, and if he pulled them out, it would hurt worse.

"Me either but," Jimin sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his wrist. "What I want to understand is why."

"Why what?" Jeongguk asked, watching him intently, wondering what he was going to say now.

"Why I wasn't enough, but Taehyung was."

"Jimin, I don't want to talk about that," He said, sighing but the older clearly wasn't letting it go.

"I want to know why you went from not wanting anything to do with feelings, to suddenly caring for someone you knew for a short time," Jimin said in between shaky breaths. "I wanna know why."

"Please just drop this—," Jeongguk started, though he knew he couldn't escape this. They cornered one another, and all that was left to do was speak the truth.

"You like him, don't you?" Jimin asked, and when Jeongguk didn't say anything, the only way he knew his answer was by the way he stared at the floor.

"I can't believe you. I can't fucking believe you."

"Things are different now," He croaked, voice like lead, heavy, weighing against his throat. At that, the older rolled his eyes.

"Stick to what you fucking say before you hurt somebody else!" He could tell he was trying to raise his voice, but the conversation was exhausting on it's own. Every sliver of anger, of unsaid words, and hurt resurfaced, consuming them in a wave of pain. 

"Don't you think I already know that?" He ran a hand down his face, chest squeezing so tight he was running out of breath. "I know that."

"Tell me why you liked him, and not me," Jimin whispered, but Jeongguk just couldn't bring himself to answer that. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"Jimin," He opened to speak, to tell him he couldn't hurt him more than he did, but the older was already gone.

Jeongguk swallowed thickly, heart crushed beneath the weight of the moment, realizing Jimin was never going to come back, and that this was it.

He lost a friend. Just like that.

♡︎♡︎♡︎

They needed to talk.

Taehyung didn't know why he was walking in the direction of Jimin's dorm, but he was, and he didn't know what he was going to do the moment he got there. All that was on his mind was that they needed to talk. 

It was probably a bad idea, but he just wanted to talk things out and figure out what was going to happen between them. Taehyung supposed closure was what he needed the most, and if Jimin didn't want to give it to him, it was okay.

But that wasn't what Taehyung cared about.

What he did care about was the fact he wasn't moving on. He shouldn't be holding onto something like this, especially after that. His heart should have forgotten Jimin by now, should have been too hurt to even think about him.

And yet, here he was, going to his dorm to talk. It was like his heart was tugging him toward Jimin as if he was the person he should be chasing even though he hurt him more than he could describe.

Funny how it worked. How the body wanted to protect itself from pain at all costs, but in the end it craved it, wanted it.

Jimin hurt, and as much as he wanted to evade it, he was drawn right back to him like a moth to a flame.

Part of him thought this was just adding more salt to the wound, and part of him wondered if maybe this could fix things. Wondering about all kinds of new scenarios that could be reality and were probably never going to happen.

He wanted to stop. To stop thinking about this, but for some reason he couldn't. At the start, he was so committed to Jimin, thinking that Jimin was the one for him, and now it just felt wrong to end it when he invested so much time into this.

Fuck, it felt as if it was too late to take it all back. He got the trust of his friends, got Jeongguk to help him, changed his appearance just so he could get noticed.

It would be a waste of all their time and effort they gave him if this didn't work out.

Suddenly, his phone vibrated in his pocket, and he saw it was a message from Jeongguk. He snapped out of his thoughts, adam's apple bobbing as he saw it was a text asking when he would get home.

Jeongguk. God, Jeongguk.

He cared about him more than he thought he would, and they were nearing the three month mark of their agreement. In that time, he didn't imagine this to happen— none of this was supposed to happen.

And it did. Everything he didn't expect to happen, happened. The feelings he had for Jimin were hanging on a loose thread. The ones he held for his best friend were a tangled mess of cords he couldn't sort through without pulling the wrong one and end up ruining their friendship.

When did all of this get so damn complicated?

Three months ago, he was ugly. Nobody even batted an eyelash at him. Jeongguk and Jimin didn't know he existed. Three months ago, things were simple.

But now, things were very, very different, and he wasn't so sure if he regretted this.

Taehyung sighed, running his hand down his face as he approached the hallway where Jimin's dorm was. He tried to come up with something to say, for his throat was already closing and his palms were horribly sweaty. 

However, before he could go up to Jimin, his phone rang. He fumbled for his phone, fingers trembling as he saw it was Jeongguk, probably impatient.

He answered and the first thing he heard was, "I miss you Specs! Get your ass back. Yeontannie misses you too." 

Maybe he didn't regret this because if this never happened, he wouldn't have found his Jeongguk.

"I'll be back," Taehyung kept his voice quiet, leaning against the side of the wall to make sure nobody sees him just yet. "M'runnin' an errand."

"Well can you do it faster? Yeontan needs a walk and I ran out of banana milk," Jeongguk's cheery voice tickled his ear, words never failing to bring a smile to his lips.

"Yeah, it'll be a moment. Could you meet me at the front of the school?" He asked, but he could hear the younger's groan of disapproval.

"No, I'm staying here. I can wait," Jeongguk said. "But you owe me banana milk by the way. You still owe me after I made you a fort, Specs."

"Which fell apart," He chuckled. "Fine. If you can get Tannie into his harness, I'll meet you back at our dorm, okay?"

"Hey, it fell apart because you rolled on top of me," Jeongguk grumbled, which only evoked a snort from the older.

"It fell apart because you kept freaking out about me calling you a princess," At that, he could only imagine the cute little blush on Jeongguk's ears. He leaned against the wall, glancing over at Jimin's, but before he could do anything, he saw two people.

Weird. Not a lot of people walked around the penthouse dorm areas very often.

"Shut up. I thought we weren't gonna talk about it," The younger said. "You get all weird when I call you hyung."

"Well yeah, because you don't have respect so you calling me hyung is like a whole cultural reset," He snorted, watching the two come into view.

"A cultural reset? Me calling you hyung is normal. You calling me princess is deleting a whole culture altogether," Jeongguk argued.

"What culture am I deleting?" Taehyung asked, brows drawing together realizing one of them was Jimin, but the other was a girl.

"My top culture. Stop making me look like a bottom. It's unfair," The younger said, but before Taehyung could come up with an answer, Jimin was pressing the girl up to the door, head ducked down and kissed her.

His heart dropped in his chest, and suddenly, he couldn't breathe.

Of course, he was hooking up with someone else because he didn't want to.

"Hey specs, I have to go. Somebody else is calling me," Jeongguk's words were like static, the only thing Taehyung could hear being the heavy throb of his heart. "I'll see you later. It's my sister."

And with that, Jeongguk ended the call, leaving Taehyung alone. Taehyung gulped, thankful the wall was there to support him as he watched Jimin and the stranger make-out. His hand was slipping into the waistband of her skirt, and her moan was loud enough for Taehyung to hear.

He slipped his phone into his pocket, nodding to himself as he turned around, not able to watch that anymore. Maybe that was the sign he was looking for, the sign he needed.

Maybe nothing would go to waste because Jimin was the waste.

Taehyung dragged his feet back to the elevator, completely numb the entire time as seconds slowed into eons and everything seemed to stop. He stared up at the numbers, watching them rise to Jeongguk's floor.

He felt nothing except the cracking of his own heart splitting into pieces. He didn't want to cry but his eyes burned, and he wondered how he let himself get played so much. Let himself get hurt this bad.

Right now, as he sucked in a shaky breath to keep himself from crying, he knew he needed Jeongguk.

He wanted Jeongguk more than ever.

The walk down to their dorm was silent except for the shuffle of his feet. A few neighbors walked by and his lips quirked into an automatic smile, but the moment they passed it dropped back into a line void of any feeling.

All he wanted was to be in Jeongguk's arms, safe and grounded. Wanted to go back into their little bubble where they didn't hurt eachother. In fact, that was the last thing they wanted to do to one another.

God, he wanted to hug Jeongguk until this didn't hurt anymore, and of course, he wouldn't tell him right away because Jimin was his best friend. He didn't want their issues to hurt him too.

When he arrived at their dorm, however, confusion struck when he realized Jeongguk wasn't standing at the door like he usually did. Most of the time, he was out with Yeontan buried in his jacket, ready to run past security.

Something was wrong.

He tried to listen in for Yeontan's barks as he got his keys to open the door. Usually Yeontan would go wild when he heard Taehyung was at the door, but the room was oddly silent. Save for the occasional thump of feet on the floor above them.

Maybe Jeongguk went down stairs already, and he was waiting for him. Although, Taehyung knew that wouldn't be the case because he would call first. He always called first.

"Jeongguk?" He opened the door slowly, unsure what he should be expecting. When he realized the younger wasn't there, he went in, shutting it behind him.

"Yeontan? Where's Ggukie?" Taehyung crouched down the ground, seeing the little puppy sitting on the couch, head resting between his paws as his harness wasn't fully put on yet.

Confused, Taehyung glanced around, trying to figure out what was wrong but nothing seemed to be out of place. Except for the fact that Jeongguk was nowhere to be seen.

He tried to call Jeongguk again, hoping the younger would pick up now because he was really starting to worry about him. He got a grip of himself, taking a shaky breath to settle his nerves as he pushed his own issues aside for later.

Jeongguk was never like this. He swallowed, hand on his hip as he called the boy again, hoping he would pick up right away. And suddenly, right as he gave up, he heard his ring tone from his room.

Taehyung went over, though it felt a little weird as he approached his room. Out of the three months they spent together, Jeongguk didn't ever let him this close to his room. It was the only space he wasn't allowed to cross up to this day.

But Taehyung knew if he didn't get his shit together, Jeongguk would be suffering, and there was no way he was going to let him do it on his own.

He decided to do it and pushed his door open, ready to get yelled at but much to his own surprise, he was able to swing it all the way. Thankfully, right in the center, was Jeongguk with his back facing to him.

"Jeongguk?" He called out to him softly, entering in and taking in his surroundings. It was weird, like he walking into uncharted territory.

Jeongguk's walls were dark gray compared to his white plaster, and all around there were trophies for volleyball and awards and pictures of his family. His room wasn't messy, more like unused, but he could tell why Jeongguk didn't let him in.

All of this was too personal; it was his world, and it was as if Taehyung was breaking his way through.

"God, Jeongguk," He snapped out of his awe to see the boy was trembling, his phone on the ground by his feet. "Oh shit."

He ran to him, gently placing his hands on his shoulders as he turned him around to face him. He didn't know what he was expecting, but he certainly did not see this coming— Jeongguk was crying.

Sniffling, more specifically. His eyes were red and puffy, rimmed with tears that already stained his cheeks. Taehyung's expression softened as his hands cupped his face, gently pulling him close to him while he carefully wiped away his tears.

"What happened, Gguk?" He asked quietly, knowing this was too rare, that something wrong happened. Jeongguk never cried.

The younger shook his head, hiccuping as he refused to look at Taehyung, shame visible in his glossy doe eyes. The older delicately stroked the side of his cheek, easing his face up to meet his worried gaze, murmuring 'it's okay, talk to me' ever so quietly.

"You can tell me," Taehyung said, hating the way Jeongguk looked this way, hated how it made his heart hurt, absolutely despised how he cried softly like his pain didn't matter.

"I have you. I got you now."

Jeongguk sucked in a trembling breath, leaning into Taehyung's touch, the frown he wore making the older's stomach twist. God, all he wanted to do was make him smile again, to make him feel better, to take away his pain like all the times he did for him.

"Jeongguk," He whispered. "I'm here."

"My s-sister called," Jeongguk started. Taehyung nodded, gently assuring him it was okay to take his time while he removedc every tear. Finally after some time, Jeongguk cleared his throat, staring directly at him.

"My mom had another stroke," Jeongguk's voice broke, a silent sob washing over him. Taehyung removed his hands from his face, throwing his arms around him, hugging him close.

"God I'm so sorry," He whispered, pressing his lips to the side of his temple, rubbing his palm up and down his back, trying to soothe him as he sobbed into his shouder. "It'll be okay."

"No it won't because," The younger shook his head, burying his face against the crook of his neck.

"Because what?" He asked, his other hand running through his hair. The younger pulled away, looking at him, eyes glazed over with this sadness that made Taehyung's stomach twist together.

"Because," Jeongguk hiccuped, "I-I think she's dying."

♡︎♡︎♡

and it gets better :0
anyways you guys have
any thoughts? i'm curious

alsooo somebody brought up
to my attention that you guys
don't know me very well, so let's
change that! ask me questions and
let's talk & be pals 💛💛💛

lub u guys!!