i missed you guys ):

♡♡♡

Jeongguk needed a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or something that was human and had emotions.

It was weird, seeing that the infamous fuckboy Jeon Jeongguk wasn't living up to his name. Sure, he thought it was gross and totally unhygienic, but like it just wasn't Jeongguk without the cocky attitude, and the 'bagging bitches' flair he had to him.

He turned down every person that tried to get a hook up out of him, and Taehyung watched in absolute shock as Jeongguk denied them without even giving them a single look over.

Usually he would take a small peek, but Jeongguk simply shook his head and said every single time that he wasn't in the mood.

Taehyung was sure something was wrong with him.

He tried to bring it up, but he wasn't sure if it was a best friend thing to ask about each other's sex life. After all, his was basically nonexistent and Jeongguk had a huge body count compared to him, deeming the topic an unpopular one at the dinner table.

Plus the last time they discussed something sexual, they ended up touching one another. Jeongguk's mouth was on his dick, and he moaned, and it felt good, and Jeongguk kinda swallowed his—

There was a reason bringing up sexual stuff wasn't a good idea. Plus Jeongguk was still avoiding touching him every chance he got, swerving him and making sure they sat on the couch five feet apart.

But all he knew was that it was off, and the balance needed to be restored. Jeongguk didn't even accept a phone number, heck he rarely checked his phone.

All he wanted to do was go to Sunshine Sips with Taehyung, study, and go back to the dorm and watch movies with him until he had practice. When he was hungry, he offered to pay for dinner, and they went in comfortable silence.

If Jeongguk was allowed to help Taehyung get a boyfriend, certainly he could return the favor to his best friend, right?

If he got Jeongguk a new person, maybe he wouldn't have this stupid heart issue anymore!

"So, are you busy tomorrow night?" Taehyung asked as the two were eating dinner like they always did at Sunshine Sips. Jeongguk paused before biting into his sandwich, eyebrows furrowing as his gaze met the older's.

"Think so," Jeongguk glanced between his sandwich to the weird smile on Taehyung's lips. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" He batted his eyelashes at him, folding his hands over the table. The younger blinked at him, genuinely confused.

"Like you're gonna... eat me."

"W-what? N-Nooo," Taehyung swallowed, shoulders stiffening. Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him. "Did you mean that sexually?" He squeaked.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, "Get your head out of the gutter. If you just want my food, just tell me, Specs." He grumbled, gently putting his sandwich back on the plate and pushing it in the other's direction.

"No, that's not what I meant, but thank you," The older murmured, pushing the plate back to him.

"Then what?" Jeongguk asked, the edges of his lips cramming into a small frown as he pushed the plate back. "Also I insist. Your cheeks look skinnier. Eat or else I'll hold you down and gently feed you food."

"My cheeks are not skinny, and thanks for your concern but I don't wanna be held down," Taehyung grumbled, giving his sandwich back with a roll of his eyes.

"I'm asking because look over there."

"Should I be trusting you? You're like, what, blind," The younger snorted, but Taehyung merely scoffed and smacked his side. He gestured briefly over at the table where he recognized some volleyball players, but the last one, he didn't know— great.

"Them? Why are you pointing at Yugyeom and San?" Jeongguk asked, taking a sip from his boba. The older rolled his eyes again and pointed to the boy sitting between them.

It was perfect! The student looked straight out of a minimalist fashion magazine like the rest of the students in their school, with his parted, wispy raven hair, sharp jawline, and long legs. His blazer wasn't on, but he rolled his shirt sleeves up and the bottoms of his slacks, pairing the outfit with black oxfords.

He couldn't get a good look at his face, but he saw a lot of piercings! Jeongguk had a lot of them, though he didn't wear them very often because of volleyball. Anyways, both of them wore earrings! Jeongguk had to like that.

"Don't you think he's cute, my dear Jeonggukie?" He asked, singing his words sweetly as he made sure the younger was looking. When he did, his smile grew, knowing his plan could possibly work, but he tried his hardest to ignore his heart squeezing in his chest.

Mission get his heart to stop fluttering whenever he was too close to Jeongguk was plausible after all.

"Sure. He's okay I guess. Why?" Jeongguk said after some time, his tone was slightly off. Taehyung's heart tightened again.

"Are you thinking of dating him now?"

"What?" Taehyung's smile fell. "No. No, I'm just asking." He tucked behind his blue hair past his ear, trying to busy himsef with his fruit bowl even though he wanted to sneak glances at him.

"You think you could be free tomorrow though?"

"Depends on what time coach ends practice," He shrugged, realizing that Taehyung was still staring at the stranger. "Specs. What are you doing?"

"I'm just asking," He said, popping a grape into his mouth. "Don't you think you need to get back in the game?" He tried to tease, hoping it removed this stupid feeling he absolutely hated.

"I still play volleyball, Specs," Jeongguk muttered, eyeing him warily. Taehyung groaned, rolling his eyes and wrapped his fingers around his forearm, pulling him close to him.

"You're bored with me."

"I'm what now?"

"I was absolutely horrified by your sexual activities in the past," Taehyung whispered into his ear, and before the younger could reply, he held him down, "but I realized you need it to function properly, and you need to get some human interaction in there as well."

"Human interaction? I'm talking to you, and I think that's enough for me," Jeongguk snorted softly, flicking the bottom of Taehyung's chin. The older narrowed his eyes at him.

"And sex? I'm fine without it for a while."

"C'mon, you don't miss it?" Taehyung whined, gently shaking Jeongguk's arm. "It's not bad for you!"

"Why are you making it sound like I was an alcohol addict and you're trying to get me to use again?" He whispered back, pulling his arm away from the older.

"I told you, I'm fine."

"Jeongguk, there's only so much a hand can do," He said, jutting his bottom lip into a pout, hoping his last resort would work. Jeongguk stared at him, brows furrowed, eyes incredulous.

"Did you just tell me I shouldn't jack off?"

"Sorry. That got kinda weird," Taehyung chuckled awkwardly, pulling away from the younger as he felt his cheeks warm up, a familiar hue of red probably painting his features.

"Specs, what's up? I'm not bored of you at all if you think that, but I also don't have the time to fuck around anymore," Jeongguk sighed, reaching over and patting his shoulder.

"Thanks for caring in that cute Specs way of yours."

"B-but I wasn't suggesting you get a sex buddy," He said softly, twirling the straw in his boba drink. "I was saying maybe you should try to find a person 'cuz I'm gonna... start dating Jimin. Soon."

"Oh," He glanced up, expecting to see a stupid, boyish smile on Jeongguk's lips, not just a single word and a blank, unreadable expression.

"Ouch, Tae," Jeongguk chuckled, though he could tell he was forcing it, and each half-hearted laugh tugged at his chest.

"Didn't think you wanted to get rid of me that fast."

"What? No! I don't wanna get rid of you at all! I really love being best friends. I-I just don't want you to be lonely," Taehyung said, trying to grab his wrist to assure him, but the younger moved away. He gulped, hoping it didn't hurt him. 

"Jeongguk, are you mad at me?" Taehyung asked when the other refused to look at him. "I'm sorry. I'll drop the subject. I won't push you again."

The younger didn't say anything to him, and just as Taehyung slumped forward in his chair, guessing he ended up hurting Jeongguk instead of helping him, Jeongguk sighed. He glanced up at him, swallowing thickly, hoping he wasn't that mad because that was the last thing he wanted between them.

However, Jeongguk merely smiled albeit tight-lipped. "Fine. I'll try it."

"You would?" Taehyung whispered, eyes lighting up. Jeongguk shrugged, glancing over at him.

"Yeah, but no promises anything will happen," The younger said nonchalantly. "I'll talk to them if you want me to, but anything other than that, I won't do."

"Jeongguk," He started, but before he could reply, the younger was already getting up and going to the line where the stranger was standing.

With all honesty, Taehyung should have been excited to see Jeongguk getting back on his feet, but when he saw the stranger smile up at Jeongguk, the giddy grin he wore suddenly fell. It crumbled into nothing, and his fingers curled into fists as his chest squeezed to an almost unbearable point.

This was a good idea, he tried to remind himself, tried to ease the way he couldn't feel something as heavy as concrete crush his heart. It was a good idea if he wanted to get over feeling this way for a person who was supposed to be his best friend.

Jeongguk really hated how whipped he was for Specs.

It started off as a joke in volleyball, saying that he would do anything if his Taehyung asked him to. It wasn't true, until Taehyung started to pick him up from practices and he left before anyone else in the lockers so he could spend some time with his friend.

Then there were those times where he quizzed Taehyung on hard exams in the lockerroom before practice because he would miss it later. Yugyeom and San also made sure for him to remember that he  checked his phone in between every rest period to see if Specs texted.

He denied it at first, but now, as he was walking to a stranger he didn't even know the name of because Taehyung asked him to, he realized it was true.

And he hated it. Kind of. Not really.

It shouldn't bother him anyways. The old Jeongguk did this every chance he could to anyone he found hot, but nowadays, he filled his free time with Specs and nothing but him so he didn't really have a concrete defintion of hot anymore.

Unless it was blue hair, a godly, fat ass that could fill up his palms, and that boxy smile and glasses, but that was too specific and somewhat weird.

There was the fact that there simply wasn't any time to get in a hook up when he wanted to spend every second with his best friend. Nothing beat watching movies with Specs and eating cereal every night.

But maybe Specs did something right by pushing him back out there. Sure, he could live some time without having sex, but maybe it was a good idea to dwell on another thing now.

Taehyung and Jimin were going to date, and there was no way Jeongguk was going to thirdwheel that. Thirdwheeling sucked absolute ass.

It was also probably a better option than holding onto a dumb feeling that shouldn't even exist, and honestly, it would help separate things. Keep things friendly between them if he had someone else. 

But the second Jeongguk got there behind him, his mind blanked. Okay, maybe he was a bit more rusty than he thought he would be. 

"You need something?" The stranger asked, and that was enough to bring him back to reality. Jeongguk blinked rapidly, realizing he was talking to him.

"No sorry," Jeongguk scratched the side of his neck, scrambling to get his shit together. "I'm fine." I'm fine? God, what was he? A prepubescent eleven year old with no idea of how relationships worked?

Maybe he was. This guy wasn't average in looks at all. He was cute, and he was shorter than him by a little bit. Jeongguk could easily pull a guy like this in the past, but now, his tongue was practically putty.

Before the stranger could turn around, however, he cleared his throat, "I'm Jeon Jeongguk." Fucking idiot.

"Choi Jaewon, but you can call me Jae," The other said, eyeing him curiously. "I already knew who you are. No need to introduce yourself." He grinned.

"You did?" Fuck, he sucked at this. He swore not that much time passed since the last time he tried to pick somebody up for a hook-up, but now that he thought about it, he didn't talk to anyone but Specs for two months.

"Yeah, you're the captain of the volleyball team," Jae snorted. "And you know my cousin, San. He won't stop talking about how awesome you are."

"Oh, yeah, Choi San. That makes sense," Jeongguk swallowed, stumbling over his words. He willed himself to get a grip, but he just couldn't knowing that Specs was staring at him and this actually cute guy was smiling at him.

He wasn't as cute as Taehyung. Fuck, nobody could beat Specs but that wasn't the point. God, he was a mess. A big fucking mess.

"M'guessing you know about my reputation," He chuckled, exhaling slowly, finally easing his heart in its slot inside his chest. Jae nodded, smile widening.

"Yeah, and before you try to pull a move on me, I need to tell you something," Jae said. At that, he raised an eyebrow, saying something softly for him to continue.

"I'm aromantic asexual, so like, nothing would work out between anyone and I," He admitted, and it took Jeongguk a moment to realize what he meant. When he did, his lips curved into an oval. Jae simply nodded, the smile he wore ever so gentle.

"That's cool. I wasn't here to try to sweet talk you or anything, though," Jeongguk said honestly, his shoulders relaxing now that he had nothing much to worry about. "My friend made me."

"Kim Taehyung? I thought he was your boyfriend."

Jeongguk choked, "W-what? Nooo, he isn't. We're best friends and nothing else." Jae raised an eyebrow at him, not at all believing him.

"Not what I've heard from my cousin and his idiotic friend," The other said, snorting. "But that's a shock. You, Jeon Jeongguk, notable fuckboy couldn't make a move on someone like Kim Taehyung so you stay friends."

"And what's wrong with that?" Jeongguk grumbled, gently nudging Jae forward when the line moved.

"Nothing. Thought it was cute because it shows you care more about a friendship than a one time fuck," Jae shrugged. "Hope I'm not overstepping by the way. I just can't help but see how funny this situation is."

"You're not, and this isn't funny. We're serious," He said, and to be honest, he supposed he did sound like an idiot when his heart was screaming the other thing and it wouldn't shut up.

"Sure. Honestly, I hope you go for Kim. He's a rare kind of person— those sugary good ones you can never find anywhere in this world," Jae waved his hand at him, gesturing for him to join him at the counter.

"You're not aware he has a thing with Park Jimin?" He asked, watching as Jae ordered something with lychee jelly and green tea. Weird combination but he didn't say anything.

"He does? Wow, did not see that coming," Jaewon said, snorting softly as he handed the worker money. "Park Jimin is not the type of guy for him, sweetie."

"They're doing fine," Jeongguk swallowed, following Jae to the waiting area as the other tugged him by the edge of his blazer to join him. It wasn't really a lie— Taehyung never told him much except it was going okay.

"Hm, okay. But just saying, I thought Park Jimin liked you? San and Yugyeom told me about it," He explained further when Jeongguk gave him a weird look. 

"Oh that. The summer was a mistake. We fucked once and kissed a couple times," Jeongguk shrugged, remembering it almost crystal clearly. "It was weird. I told him I didn't want a relationship multiple times but he kept pushing for one."

"And that didn't give you red flags? You're really letting Kim Taehyung date him?" Jae's brows knitted together, the other crossing his arms over his chest.

"Tae's smart. I trust him to leave when it gets too much," Jeongguk muttered, unsure why he was telling a stranger all of this, but to be honest it felt nice to let things out.

"He doesn't tell me anything, but I heard they're doing okay."

"Alright. I know we're not close, and you came to me for way different intentions," Jeongguk opened his mouth to apologize, but Jae waved him off with another dimpled grin. "It's fine. But I'm gonna drop this before you run away."

"You're something, Choi Jaewon," Jeongguk joked, sliding his hands into his trouser pockets, a smile unfolding itself on his lips.

"Oh, I know I'm awesome, and this conversation is safe with me. If you ever wanna talk again, join us sometime," Jae gestured with his chin over to where Yugyeom and San were sitting.

"We don't bite as hard as Namjoon and Yoongi."

"Yeah," He swallowed, glancing between the two tables. He knew it was a joke, but he still hated the way his stomach twisted into painful knots at the mention of his supposed friends. Friends that didn't reach out to him.

"Well, that's me," Jaewon pushed off the wall to get his drink. "You better join us after volleyball games, alright Jeon?" He teased when he came back, stabbing a straw into his drink.

"I'll think about it," He nodded, but before Jae left he handed him a slip of paper.

"My phone number if you wanna ever chat. Again, I'm aromantic and asexual so this is not an invite to fuck," Jae chuckled, patting his closed knuckles.

"And I know you're whipped for Kim."

"Right," Jeongguk said, putting his number into his blazer pocket. "I'll see you." And with that, he was walking back to where Taehyung sat, waiting for him patiently.

"Did you score a date?" Taehyung asked him the second he sat down. Jeongguk shook his head.

"I think I accidentally made a new friend," The younger found himself chuckling to himself, pulling the slip of paper out and glancing back and forth between Jae and the little scraggle of numbers he might even call.

However, what Jeongguk missed is the way Specs deflated in his seat beside him, enthusiastic smile slipping into a frown as he stared down at his food.

♡♡♡

Tonight was his first official date with Jimin.

Jimin refused to do anything in public, so all of his ideas weren't going to work out. It bummed him out that he couldn't bring him to the places he wanted go go to but it didn't matter. He guessed it could wait.

So he chose a movie, an empty dorm with nobody except them, one blanket, and a bowl of popcorn. Taehyung was looking forward to this all week— he planned it all out after all, making sure Jimin would like it.

Even though it wasn't big, and it was simple, he tried to make it as special as possible.

It was all he ever wanted, really. All he dreamt about since those ungodly hours he spent in a convenience store, secretly hoping the Park Jimin felt something back after every one of their conversations.

Those dreams were his reality, and although he still struggled to grasp the idea that Jimin liked him, this was a reminder that it wasn't just in his imagination.

God, he remembered those nights in his bed he spent coming up with different cute scenarios with his crush, knowing it would never happen because Jimin would never look his direction. Now here he was, in Jimin's dorm with the older right beside him.

But in those scenarios, they were talking about their interests, their dreams, and every little thing that seemed important in that frozen moment. In reality, nobody had said a word, both of them staring at the television, the only sound being the movie and Jimin's occasional comments about the film.

Not quite exactly what he expected.

"So," Taehyung cleared his throat, unsure of what to do. They were half way through Call Me By Your Name, and it wasn't really at an interesting part.

"Do you still read comics?" He tried, remembering the time Jimin and he spoke endlessly about their favorites while they stocked toilet paper.

"No. It's been years," Jimin said, popping some popcorn into his mouth. "Haven't touched one in eons actually."

"Oh really?" The younger's eyebrows scrunched together— he didn't expect that either. He swore the older adored comics. They literally gushed over all types of BLs over summer.

"Anybody who reads em are nerds," The blonde shrugged. "Outgrew them in elementary. No way I'd pick up another one any time soon. Is that the answer you wanted to hear?" Not exactly.

"Do you like the movie at all?" He tried to change the topic, hoping he could salvage this because he wasn't sure how much longer he could go without wanting to shrivel and die from the awkward levels. Jimin merely hummed.

"Elio's hot, and so is Oliver. Honestly the book was better," Jimin said, setting the popcorn bowl on the side table. "The entire movie drags."

"Oh, well I like it. I think it's meaningful and the way they portray their love is really powerful," Taehyung murmured, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket on his lap. "But if you hate it, I can change it."

"No you don't have to," Jimin muttered, sighing unevenly as he shoved his fingers through his hair. "We're already half way through. No use doing something else."

"It's okay I don't mind," The younger swallowed, leaning forward to grab the remote but Jimin's hand grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"I have another idea," He murmured, running his hand down his bare arm. Taehyung's adams apple bobbled nervously, and honestly he regretted just wearing a white t-shirt. In the dark, he could see the older eyeing him up and down.

"Like what?" He swallowed, feeling his cool touch slip down his arm and to his lap. Taehyung's mind screamed, not at all expecting this! Frick, Jeongguk did not prepare him for any of this! Was there some sort of protocol?

"We can have fun if you want," Jimin mused, teasing his lip between his teeth. Taehyung's heart began to race, and he wasn't sure if it was because the older's hand was sitting high up on his thigh.

"S-sure, I'm down." He did not know what kind of 'fun' he expected but he did not think Jimin would climb onto his lap and straddle him.

"Oh hi there," Taehyung gulped, chuckling uneasily as his hands settled on Jimin's hips. His ass was pressing on his lap where that cool spot was, and he expected himself to get turned on, but honestly it felt like something was just sitting on him.

Was that how it was supposed to feel?

"You in or not?" Jimin murmured softly, running his hands down his shoulders to the front of his chest. He rocked forward, ass pressing again on his thing, and honestly Taehyung didn't know what he should do because he wasn't getting hard.

Oh god. He wasn't getting hard— w-was his dick broken?

"Sure. M'down," Taehyung sputtered, hoping that maybe if they kissed or something, things would get along. Frick, it usually got hard around Jeongguk. Hopefully it wasn't anything bad, right?

When Jimin kissed him, he tried to focus on the way his lips moved slowly over his. His hands were every where, but Taehyung couldn't bring himself to enjoy it— he wasn't sure if it was because he was tired, or his dick was kinda not working no matter how much Jimin grinded down on him.

He could tell it was frustrating the older by the way their tight-lipped kissed was broken by his tongue sliding into his mouth, working him open. He tried to grab at his hips, guiding every little movement to try and get off.

It wasn't working. Why wasn't it working?

He nipped at Jimin's full lips, tongues clashing, sucking on one another and some saliva dribbling down the side of Jimin's mouth. Pent up frustration building in the back of his mind as he dug his fingers into his hips. 

God, Jimin was all over him— shouldn't he be hard? His expensive perfume suffocated him, his lips were sweet with gloss, and when his teeth grazed Jimin's lip he moaned and devoured every sound. 

But nothing was working!

Erectile dysfunction was not hot!!!

So he tried to think about what Jeongguk would do as Jimin popped his lips off his with a lewd wet noise and began to trail kisses down his neck. If he wasn't in the mood, he had to think about something hot, right?

Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut, and the first thing that came to mind was Jeongguk but not in a "oh my god I need his help" way, and it just wouldn't leave his head.

Oh god, it was bad, and with his eyes closed he could visualize it. In the dark, the only sounds being the obscene squelch of Jeongguk's mouth struggling to bob up and down his length. He remembered his eyes were narrowed with lust, and the warmth of Jeongguk's lips around him.

Fuck, Taehyung threw his head back on the couch, remembering the way Jeongguk gripped onto his thigh so hard he saw the bruises the next morning and the other hand wrapped tight around his shaft.

All he could picture was Jeongguk's features lit up by the moonlight spilling from between the blinds, his gaze never once leaving his. Fuck, he could picture the tears around his eyes, and the dirty noises the younger made when he choked around him.

Jeongguk's uneven, heavy breaths, and the strangled moans he let out when Taehyung bucked his hips upward and his cock hit the back of his throat, making him gag.

The way he praised Jeongguk lowly, voice rasped, and the boy would sink his mouth lower, trying to
get all of him into his mouth. The little mewls he cried out when Taehyung yanked at his hair.

Part of him slipped further, imagining things he shouldn't like running his hands down Jeongguk's toned arms. Feeling Jeongguk beneath him, their bodies pressed hotly against one another, the boy crumbling beneath every kiss, moaning into Tae's mouth and begging him to fill him up.

If he wasn't hard then, now he was.

Jimin was kissing down his neck, leaving wet kisses and alternating between playful nips and sucking as Taehyung reacted properly. Okay, this was good, it was working. Things were working.

The older finished his work on Taehyung, bringing his head up so now their faces were leveled. They were both breathing heavily, their chests rising and falling at different rhythms, but nonetheless the wind was knocked out of his lungs.

He kissed him again, intensely without any patience as if he wanted Taehyung to do more. He coaxed him with his tongue and his hands touching him beneath his shirt.

But while Jimin thought of him, all that occupied Taehyung's mind was Jeongguk. Plagued his every thought, clouded his senses.

"Fuck, Jeongguk," He mumbled against Jimin's lips ever so softly that the older missed it, the name that didn't belong to him being devoured anyways.

And although Jimin didn't catch it, too focused on kissing him, the younger instantly realized what he did wrong the second it left his lips, and he knew damn well how bad it was.

He fucked up.

"I'm sorry, we can't do this right now," Taehyung removed his lips from his, panic seizing his throat as he realized he just pictured his best friend in a way best friends shouldn't think of one another.

"What do you mean? You're hard, I'm hard. Sex is the easy part," Jimin said, trying to forward and kiss him again, but Taehyung pushed him back, not in the mood.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry, I can't," His throat swelled up as his hand flinched away from Jimin's hip, going to his hair and running through his blue locks. "We can't do this."

Jimin tried to kiss down his neck, and he just couldn't stand it— "I said, stop."

"Well if you want, I can just suck you off then?" The blonde said, wiggling his hips over his lap, but to be honest it didn't do much but ruin more of his mood and eased away at the tightness in his jeans.

He shook his head, lungs practically working against him, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why? Are you scared 'cuz you're small?" Jimin snorted, trying to lean down and kiss his jaw, but Taehyung was quick to press his hands on his chest, keeping him back.

"I've seen my fair share of small guys, Tae."

"N-no that's not it at all," He swallowed thickly, tugging at his scalp, wishing he didn't have to think about Jeongguk but of course it slipped into his mind— frick this was so wrong.

"Then what?" Jimin raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for an answer, clearly impatient.

"It's a choking hazard."

"And that's gonna stop me?" Jimin scoffed. "C'mon Tae, everyone our age has sex. It's natural, and you've done it before so why don't you wanna do it with me?" He didn't remember, did he.

"I just don't want to do it," Taehyung said. "Now please, get off of me." He nudged him off, ignoring the way he was staring daggers at him, probably thinking of ways to demolish him for leaving him hard.

"I said, get off!" He gulped, panic wrapping itself around his neck, suffocating him.

"God, what are you so scared of? It's sex. You're almost eighteen," He snapped, listening to him. "Don't be weird about it, Taehyung."

"What the hell? I thought you would understand," The younger's brows furrowed as he got off the couch, scrambling over to reach his jacket hanging on the edge.

"I just don't want it right now."

"Fucking hell, Taehyung. You're such a pussy," Jimin shouted, jumping to his feet as Taehyung struggled to put his arms through his sleeves.

"Everyone does it. Everyone our age has done it."

"And that means I should do it? You need to get that I don't wanna have sex with you on a couch on our first date," Taehyung exclaimed, gesturing at the couch angrily, the panic that once ate him now bubbling into irritation.

"You don't have the right to guilt trip me into this!"

"M'not! I'm just telling you to grow the fuck up!" Jimin screamed.

"You can't tell me that either," He growled. "I just don't want us to do it like this. It's not right."

"So what? You want me to take fucking rose petals and make a litte heart on my bed? Light fucking candles while I'm at it?" Jimin chased after him as he sped toward the door, wanting to get out of here and pretend none of this happened.

"What, want me to play music in the background while we 'make love'?" The blonde snatched his wrist, holding him back before he could leave. The younger whipped around, scowling.

"Want to make love with me, Taehyung?"

"Shut up! Just shut up, okay? I don't want to have sex with you!" Taehyung nearly yelled, trying to keep his temper together. "I'm not there yet and I don't appreciate you making fun of me."

"Then when will you be? I want to fuck you!"

"And I want to date you!" Taehyung shouted, "but I guess not everything fits our expectations, right?"

"This isn't about me isn't it?" Jimin eventually said, tone low, watching as Taehyung ripped his wrist away from him, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

"What? Of course not," Taehyung snapped, jaw tightening. Jimin rolled his eyes, nodding like he knew the answer.

"It's about Jeongguk isn't it?"

Taehyung's expression fell. "Don't."

"Don't what?" Jimin raised an eyebrow at him.

"God, Jimin what is your fucking obsession with him?" He groaned in frustration, anger rising up his throat. "I don't want to have sex with you because I'm not that guy, Jimin."

"I don't just fuck and run!" Taehyung shouted.

"Oh shut up, it's always about Jeongguk this, and Jeongguk that. All you care about is Jeongguk!" He screamed, "and that's why you won't fuck me! Cuz I fucked Jeongguk!"

"You won't fuck me because all you would do is think about him the entire time!"

"That's not true," Taehyung scoffed, shaking his head. Oh but it was. "God, I thought you would understand." He said, turning to leave but Jimin stopped him, running to the door and blocking it.

"You can't do that to me," Jimin jabbed a finger at his chest. "You're a little bitch, Taehyung. You're gonna go to Jeongguk and cry to him now, huh?"

"Not everything is about sex," Taehyung sneered, "and no. I can't believe you just said that."

"Get out of my dorm," The blonde shouted, pulling the door open. "Get the fuck out of here."

"Gladly," The younger spat, and with that, he walked out.

He didn't know what he was feeling as he walked as fast he could, wanting nothing but to get out of that suffocating apartment. Taehyung swallowed thickly, head aching and heart heavy as he tried his hardest to forget what happened but his mind wouldn't let him.

All he knew was that someone just tried to force sex on him, and that he just sexualized his best friend in his head after promising him he wouldn't.

He fucked up, and Kim Taehyung never fucked up.

Everything that led up to him coming back to the dorm was a blur. Somewhere along the lines he started to cry— out of frustration or hatred? He didn't know but he began to hiccup, and his vision stung and became all blurry with tears.

When he approached the dorm, hands trembling as he jammed the keys into the lock. Taehyung wiped the tears falling from his eyes, hoping his contacts didn't fall out or else he would be totally screwed more than he was as the door finally unlocked.

But he paused, breathing shaky as he heard laughter behind the door. Slowly, sniffling, he opened the door to see Jeongguk in the living room with the guy from Sunshine Sips and Yugyeom and San.

They were playing video games and eating snacks, laughing around. Jeongguk was trying his hardest to not fall off the couch, his face red with laughter as Yugyeom and San seemed to be acting out the 'Team Rocket' pokemon scene with voice acting.

Taehyung opened the door fully, trying to slip in without being noticed. He carefully wiped at his eyes, a little happy that Jeongguk was at least enjoying himself tonight.

Maybe things were working out with the guy after all.

Maybe he didn't need him anymore.

"Taehyung?" He stopped in his tracks, realizing the room silenced, and everyone was staring at him. It was Jeongguk, of course, who stopped the action.

"I'm okay," He said defensively, the first thing that came to mind as he tried to hide his face. "I'll be in my room." He whispered defeatedly, dragging himself to the isolation of his bedroom.

"W-wait, Taehyung—," He already shut the door before he could hear him.

When he finally got inside, he stood in the center, hands curled into fists by his sides as his entire body trembled. Taehyung bit down on his lips, trying so hard to stop himself from crying, but it was as if a wave crashed over him, and soon he was crying.

Over what? He didn't know anymore.

He was just crying his eyes out. Taehyung covered his face, sobbing into his palms, nails clawing at his skin as he hunched over. God, he let it all out, and he supposed it was the shock from everything.

To think, he told himself no more tears once he got the make over, and here he was, crying in the dark of his bedroom like a pathetic loser.

Taehyung was too distracted by each heavy sob that wrecked through his body to even realize somebody opened his door. He didn't hear them, and when he felt someone touch his back, he flinched, turning around to see who it was.

"Specs?" It was Jeongguk, voice soft and worry evident in his big doe eyes. Taehyung hiccuped, forcing his lips into a smile but it wouldn't hold.

"Fuck, c'mere," Jeongguk whispered, holding his arms out for him. Taehyung glanced between his arms to his feet, but it didn't take him a moment to even consider not running into his arms.

Taehyung sobbed, pressing his face to the warmth of Jeongguk's neck, letting the boy engulf him into his embrace. He let Jeongguk's gentle touch run down his back, his other patting down his hair as Jeongguk held him close to his body.

"What happened? Do I need to hurt someone?" The younger asked, but his questions only made him sob harder, each cry ripping through his throat.

Jeongguk tightened his hold around him, crushing him, but it didn't matter even though his tears were staining his shirt and getting his skin damp. He cried harder, letting Jeongguk rock him back and forth.

"It'll be okay Tae," Jeongguk murmured, running his hands through his hair, the other rubbing at his hip to ease him. "Everything will be okay."

He pressed a tender kiss to his forehead, gently whispering to him the same assuring words as he carefully pushed his hair behind his ear. Taehyung eventually calmed down, whimpering against the younger's body.

"I'm here for you," Jeongguk whispered, "I won't leave you." He ran his hand down his back, lips moving against his forehead.

"I got you, Taehyung. I have you."

And this, this is when Taehyung realized there was more. There was so much more to what he felt.

♡♡♡

i missed you guys so much!!! i hope this
was a good enough chapter hehe (: i got
everything sorted out, and if you were
wondering, my parents found out about
my account. they're okay with it, but like
it hurt me for some time since this was my
private little world with you guys.

but it's fine now! everything's okay,
and i'm back (; love you guys so much it
hurts and thank you so much for all the lovely messages! i appreciate every single one of you! thank you, and i love you💛
— mela