out of context spoiler for HTT
📕🙅‍♂️💕

can you figure it out lol

♡♡♡

"Park fucking Jimin asked you out? He what now?"

Seokjin's eyebrows raised at the youngest as the three of them were crammed onto the couch, sharing warm blankets and popcorn to rewatch their favorite movies instead of studying like they should be.

It was a problem with having a tv, and of course, Taehyung didn't want it to just sit there collecting dust. It wasn't like Jeongguk ever used it, so he supposed he was doing him a favor anyways.

"He did! After the volleyball game he came up to me, said I looked cute— and mind you, I was wearing my usual stuff— then we talked some more about the game, and he said we should grab boba sometime!" Taehyung gushed, leaning into Hoseok who wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

"Were you like... hearing things right?" Jin asked, his tone still edged with skepticism. Taehyung nodded eagerly.

"We even exchanged numbers!" He squeaked, "but I'm not gonna text first 'cuz I'm not that dumb, and it's hard to text first." Jin glanced over at Hoseok, his lips pressed together into a tight line.

"So can I ask you some serious question?" Seokjin hummed, throwing his arm over the back of the couch. Taehyung gave him a thumbs-up, mumbling 'sure' as he popped another piece of popcorn into his mouth.

"You're well aware of Jimin's sexual history, right?"

Well yeah, Taehyung nearly choked on his popcorn, but he tried to keep a straight face. He knew the older was completely inexperienced compared to him, but that didn't really concern him since he had Jeongguk to help him out.

Jeongguk was probably just as experienced as Jimin, so at least that helped edge Taehyung near even ground with him. The younger told him he was still going to teach him some new things, and Taehyung was cool with it as long as its things that could help him keep Jimin interested.

"Jin's right, Tae. You've never kissed anyone, much less even did the diddly do," Hoseok wiggled a suggestive eyebrow at him, earning an eyeroll from the blue-haired boy.

"He could be taking advantage of you, bub," Seokjin murmured. "Jimin's worse than Jeon Jeongguk. The guy's rumored to have a higher bodycount than your roommate over there."

"Seokjin hyung's right. Your bodycount is zero, while Jeongguk over there and Jimin probably have over a hundred."

"My roommate over where?" Taehyung asked, only to see Seokjin gesture where Jeongguk stood by his bedroom door, yawning and rubbing at his tired eyes. His lips curved into an oval, remembering the younger usually woke up this late in the day.

He ignored the weird looks Hoseok and Seokjin were giving him as he made sure Jeongguk was fully awake. The guy was an idiot and usually stayed up until three in the morning studying in the kitchen, drinking banana milk and talking to someone on the phone at such an ungodly time.

Taehyung never interrupted him, though every now and then he would check up on the younger to make sure he was asleep. When he did manage to make it to the bed, however, Jeongguk was out like a light for hours, and the second he woke up, the poor guy was delirious as heck.

So Taehyung, being the greatest roommate ever, made things easier for him. He eventually realized that Jeongguk actually had a lot of things on his plate, and simple things like reminding him to eat and making sure he wouldn't hurt himself half-awake was his duty as his roommate.

"I brought out a bowl for you and your cereal," He said, pushing Hoseok's arms off of him to sit up on the couch. Jeongguk, eyes still shut and lips pressed into a small pout, nodded, scratching the side of his neck before waddling to the kitchen.

"Make sure you're awake before you pour the milk stupid." The younger gave him a thumbs-up, which was enough for Taehyung to return back to where he was sitting between the two older boys.

"What was that?" Hoseok asked, not bothering to keep his voice down. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him, but the older shrugged. "What? He's delirious. He won't remember this shit."

"I can hear you," Jeongguk said from the kitchen.

"See. He can't hear us," Hoseok smiled, patting Taehyung's shoulder. "Completely delirious."

"Still can hear you. Not deaf or delirious. I'm eighty percent awake." They all ignored him anyways.

"Anyways, can I also ask the fuck was that for?" Jin blinked, unable to comprehend what just happened. The youngest rolled his eyes, smacking both of their arms.

"I can literally hear ya'll talking shit, the fuck?"

"I was just being a nice roommate," He said in a matter of fact tone, shrugging like it was nothing. "We've been living together for literally a month and spending every second of our days together. He may be an asshole but he's nice too, on the good days."

"Hey, don't act like I folded all your socks for you Hoseok. And Jin, remember how I always made you dinner after your night shifts at the ass crack of dawn?" Taehyung scowled, unsure why they were making such a big deal of it.

"I'm just being a good roommate, nothing else."

"Alright. Just making sure that this makeover isn't making you a hoe," Hoseok chuckled, yelping when Taehyung lightly punched his shoulder. "What? I don't want you having a high bodycount either."

"M'not gonna be a hoe," The younger of the trio grumbled. "I'd never date Jeongguk, or anyone othee than Park Jimin. Sorry." He called over his shoulder to where the younger stood, quietly munching on fruity pebbles and staring at the wall.

"Geez, Tae. Why do you have to be so brutal?" Jin joked, raising his hands up in defense as Taehyung silently threatened to hit him. "And seriously. Out of all people, you wanna date Park Jimin?"

"Because he's a really sweet guy," Taehyung sighed, feeling like he was seriously repeating himself for the umpteenth time. What about Park Jimin did they not trust? "I know him in a way you guys don't."

"Sure you do. Jeongguk knows him better, and he was probably with the guy all summer. Everyone thinks they know a person just 'cause they have sleep-deprived conversations at a shitty time," Jin said, and also added, "Who knew if he changed."

"Dudes. I'm still here. In the room. Awake."

"I do because he didn't, hyung. He told me nothing happened when we worked together," He frowned, jutting out his bottom lip into a pout, barely looking over at Jeongguk who was aggressively spooning cereal into his mouth.

"I don't like arguing with you guys at all."

"We're not arguing. We're just trying to understand why you're going for a well-known fuckboy," Seokjin said, glancing over at Hoseok to support him, but the second oldest merely shrugged.

"I honestly don't care. I trust Taehyung, and if he wants to date Jimin, he can go for him," Hoseok said, patting the youngest's head with a fond smile. "If Jimin's an asshole, we'll beat him up."

"Well Tae, I trust you, but why him? Seriously, you could date someone on your level and lose your virginity together. It just doesn't sit right with me when a guy like Jimin is gonna take your first kiss and that thing," Jin sighed.

"I want the best for you."

"And Jimin's more than enough," Taehyung muttered, earning an eyeroll from the oldest. Before he could defend himself, Jin turned around, waving over at Jeongguk to get his attention.

"Now you acknowledge my beautiful presence," Sarcasm dripped off of Jeongguk's words, which brought the smallest of smiles to Taehyung's face. Jin, on the other hand, rolled his eyes.

"What's your opinion on Park Jimin?" Seokjin asked, which made Taehyung scoff and shake his head. He knew Jeongguk wasn't going to answer, or if he did, he would bite back with something rude.

"Do you prefer the biased, or unbiased response, good sir?" Okay, he did not expect that. He turned around, brows knitted together to see if it was really his Jeongguk talking. Surprisingly, it was still the idiot with messy bed hair eating children's cereal.

"Unbiased, you douchebaguette," The oldest said, narrowing his gaze. "Why would I ask you if you were just gonna sugarcoat shit?"

"Dunno. You even said yourself I had a lot of bodies, over a hundred, which is wrong. I'm also starting to question you as well, Sheepy," Jeongguk shrugged, the edge of his lip quirking upward into a smirk.

"Sheepy? The fuck?"

"You look like a smol alpaca, so bam, Sheepy it is."

"Alpacas aren't sheep."

"Sheeeeeeepy."

"Taehyung control your animal," Jin whipped his head back to where the two others sat, fighting smiles on their faces. Taehyung simply shrugged, knowing there was nothing he could do.

"M'not an animal. I'm quite the educated human specimen. Just look at my GPA," Jeongguk said, earning a death glare from both Jin and Taehyung.

"But most people are interested in my dick. Can't control that, but like they said. The bigger the brain, the bigger the weewee—,"

"—Jeongguk," Taehyung tried to hold back his laughter, his arms crossed over the back of the couch as his gaze met the younger's. "Please cooperate." He flashed him a smile, one he couldn't bite back.

"Fine," He raised his bowl up along with his free hand in defense. "My opinion on Jimin without bias? He's got the commitment. He wants a relationship, and he's a good guy. There. A Jeon Jeongguk review. Wanna rate your experience?"

"Is that all? I feel like you're bullshitting me," The older muttered, not in the mood for these younger kids' shenanigans.

"I'm not. Jimin's a good person. When he finds the one, he'll settle on them. He's a loyal guy, it's just he needs someone to be loyal back," Jeongguk said smoothly, waving his spoon at them.

"And you think Taehyung's qualified?"

"I'm very sure that Grover over there is just a splendid match for Mr. Park."

"That's all?" Jin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah. Would you like to rate your experience now? Leave a good review while you're at it?"

"Please shut up for the love of God, before I beat your cocky ass!" Jin cried out, returning back to his seat to Taehyung and Hoseok, snickering their asses off.

"You wanted my opinion, Sheepy, and you got it," Jeongguk shrugged, spooning more cereal into his mouth.

"You're an asshole. I don't see how Taehyung stands you," Seokjin muttered, sinking into the couch as Hoseok and Taehyung's laughter fill the room. "You traitors. Thought we were friends."

"Correction. I'm an asshole in fancy font."

"I'm out," The oldest shot up to his feet, pressing hos fingers to the bridge of his nose. "I'm outta here. Let's go Hoseok. I have a shift anyways in an hour."

"You guys!" Taehyung couldn't help the laughter bubbling out of him as Seokjin dragged Hoseok with him to the door. "Come back hyung!" He wheezed, nearly doubling over before he could stop them from leaving.

When the door shut, he turned around, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he tried to hold back his laughter. His gaze met Jeongguk's in an instant, and soon enough he was consumed by the sounds of his own laughter, and this other sound that reminded him of a squeaky, high-pitched witch.

"I-Is that you? Oh my god!" Taehyung gasped for air, his lungs rattling in his chest as he stumbled to the couch, holding onto it as he couldn't see shit.

"Are you being laughist to my laugh?" Jeongguk wheezed, his nose scrunched as a smile stretched itself across his lips, exposing his two front teeth that reminded Taehyung of a bunny.

"L-Laughist?"

"Like racist, but instead of race, it's laughter. So lemme ask that again. Are you being laughist or something?" The younger squeaked before leaning against the counter, eyes squeezing shut as he continued to laugh like some dying hyena.

Eventually the two settled down, and they found themselves sitting on the couch— Jeongguk with his cereal, and Taehyung with the blankets hugging him. Neither one of them said a thing, the only sound being the occasional munch from Jeongguk.

"So, did you mean it?" Taehyung asked, glancing over at Jeongguk beneath his blankets. Jeongguk was mid-drink, his eyebrows bunched together as he stopped himself from drinking the milk.

"Mean what? That you're a good match for Jimin." The older nodded, biting his lip, feeling the familiar warmth flush across his cheeks.

"How old are you? Ten?"

"What? No. I'm just... I wanna know if you meant it," Taehyung said, frowning slightly. "And I'm turning eighteen in December, fool." The younger remained silent, twirling his spoon in his bowl.

"We're pals, Specs. 'Course I meant it," Jeongguk finally said, chuckling a little. "I totally picture you and Park k-i-s-s-i-n-g up in some random tree. If possible, I'd gladly recommend you a tree."

"I literally hate you. Delete thyself," He snorted, nudging Jeongguk's side with his elbow. "But can I just say something?"

"Like what? Are you gonna enlighten me now?"

"Let me speak, you behemoth," Taehyung snapped. "It's just... you know. That, you know. If you know, you know." Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at him, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

"Know what? Use your big boy words," Jeongguk mimicked him, purposefully lowering his voice to sound like him (which he didn't). Taehyung rolled his eyes.

"Can you like teach me... how to go on a date?"

"You really had to ask?" The younger chuckled, leaning forward and setting his finished bowl on the table. "That was gonna be my next lesson, Specs."

"Oh really? You were gonna ask me out?" Taehyung asked, teasing him a little. It was Jeongguk's turn to roll his eyes. Before Taehyung could speak up and further make fun of him, Jeongguk got up.

"Hey, where are you going?" He asked, watching as Jeongguk rummaged around for something in the cabinets. It took some time until he finally found what he needed, and before he came back he snatched a sharpie off the table.

"Before we go on a fake date, we must make some special agreement that must be documented on a legal piece of paper," Jeongguk declared, sitting down on the floor by the coffee table.

"You mean a freaking napkin?"

"Don't hurt its feelings Specs. If it wants to be a legal paper, it can be a legal paper. Don't crush its dreams," He scooted over to let Taehyung sit next to him as he scribbled something on the napkin.

It was awful penmanship; what did he expect? The sharpie didn't really work, and it was bleeding into the napkin, and Jeongguk kept getting sharpie on his 'godly volleyball fingers' every time he tried to fix his writing.

Finally, after some cursing and arguments about who should write it down, they were able to write a single sentence that was actually legible.

DO NOT MEAN ANYTHING CUZ ISSA FAKE DATE. SIGN NAMES HERE.

"That's the best you can write, Jeon?" Taehyung snorted, finding it absolutely ridiculous how proud the younger was of his craftsmanship. He nodded, signing the thing with his initials 'JJK' and handed it to him.

"I'm always doing my best, now sign it coward," Jeongguk said, smirking at the older who snatched it right from him. He uncapped the pen and neatly printed his name beneath Jeongguk's.

"So that's it? Now what," The older asked, watching Jeongguk take the 'legal document' and brought closer to his side, proceeding to set his hand down on it and the other on his heart.

"I, Jeon Jeongguk," He started, biting back the smile on his lips when Taehyung let out a snort. "Promise to not mean anything when I take Kim Taehyung on our fake date. If I do, I understand the consequences that results in feeling human emotion."

"You are so ridiculous. I hate you."

"Come on. Say it with me. Saaaaay it," He nudged the 'legal document' next to Taehyung. Eventually, the older gave in, setting his palm on the napkin and the other right on his heart, attention fixating on Jeongguk.

"I, Kim Taehyung, promise not to mean anything when Jeon Jeongguk takes me out on our fake date. If I do, which I won't, I understand the consequences that results in feeling human emotions. There."

"Alright," Jeongguk slid his hands over one another, rubbing them together, lips slacked into a half-grin. "Now we are legally binded to this document, and we can't break the rules, or else that happens."

"I have absolutely no idea where this is leading up to," Taehyung admitted, though he couldn't deny the fact that he was somewhat enjoying this. This side of Jeongguk was something else.

"And that's good because I have something to ask you," He said, folding his hands over his lap. At that, Taehyung raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Specs."

"Jeon Jeongasshole?"

"Will you go on a fake date with me?" Jeongguk asked, and when Taehyung said nothing, he frowned, shoulders slumping. "The entire point of this is for you to say yes, you dumbfuck."

"Yes," Taehyung eventually murmured, head tilted a little to the side, the gentlest of smiles tickling his lips. "I'd like to go on a fake date with you."

"Great," The younger's voice drifted off, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "It's settled."

"I'm gonna take you on the fakest date ever."

♡♡♡

"Sometimes I wonder why he chose volleyball," Yugyeom said, the two of them waiting in line to hit. "Like he could've been a competitive stripper, and I wouldn't even question it."

"A competitive stripper?" Jeongguk frowned, spinning the ball in his hands. "Are you talking about me, or Jimin?"

"Park. Like it's very unchristian of him to wear those shorts so high. Kinda reminds me of James Charles," The younger said, jutting his chin to where Jimin was focused on fixing his form.

"Why? He doesn't go for straight guys, and he isn't fully gay. Jimin doesn't have a label on himself," He said, not so sure where this conversation was going.

"No, I'm saying this. The fuck his dick go? Like he wears those short ass shorts, and his dick is like non existent," Yugyeom exclaimed, keeping his voice down when he realized he might have scarred the freshman behind them.

"That's what you're concerned with?" Jeongguk sighed, absolutely not amused as Yugyeom nodded.

"Why don't you ask him yourself? 'Yo, Jimin where that dick of yours go?'"

At that, the younger shoved him playfully, "Shut the fuck up, Cap." Jeongguk snorted, about to add something until he realized San was waving at him for his attention. He held a finger up at Yugyeom and went over to the libero.

"What's up?" He asked, wondering why San wasn't practicing when he should be. He was only a third year, and if he wanted to keep his spot, he had to work on his receiving.

"There's somebody named Jung Hoseok waiting for you in the foyer. Coach told me to tell you to deal with it, or else he's gonna make us run laps the next time you bring a hook-up over," San explained.

"A hook-up? No, he's just a good friend of my pal's," Jeongguk said, wondering in the back of his mind why Hoseok was here. "Go back. I'll deal with it," He patted the younger's shoulder and walked over toward the foyer.

Jung Hoseok wasn't a stranger to Jeongguk. They knew each other enough to not be strangers, but not that well to consider one another good friends.

Once upon a time, Hoseok was on the volleyball team since freshman year. It was long before Specs transferred into the school in their second year, and when he met Kim Seokjin. Jeongguk, at the time, surprisingly wasn't the captain— Hoseok was.

Hoseok was their ace for some time, and Jeongguk admired the guy. He was one of the best captains to ever lead, making sure everybody was in good spirits and praising their teamwork. Whenever somebody made a mistake, he corrected them with this scary coolness, but he always encouraged them.

Not only was he the captain, he was dating Min Yoongi— one of Jeongguk's friends.

They were a close couple for a year before Hoseok shattered his kneecap during the finals. After his accident, the two spent less and less time together, and it wasn't very long until Hoseok found Seokjin to fill the gap he made between Yoongi and him.

Then Jeongguk never saw him again.

He no longer went to parties Namjoon held at his house. He stopped joining them to watch Yoongi's waterpolo games, never stayed over at the end to drink with them. He simply gave the captain title to him, said goodbye, and left.

Jeongguk didn't disrespect his decision at all. He promised to pick up where Hoseok left and went along as if nothing ever happened.

"Glad to see you're still funny," Hoseok said when he noticed him. His hands were tucked into his blazer pockets, the smile he wore rivaling the sun. Just like he remembered him but older, taller, even.

"What brings you back home hyung?" Jeongguk grinned, holding the volleyball beneath his arm as he stopped in front of the older. "Thinking about joining the team again?"

"I would if I could, Jeon," The corners of his smile faltered a little, the sadness of nostalgia dancing in his bright eyes. Jeongguk simply nodded, dropping the topic.

"I'm here 'cause we need to talk about Taehyung."

"Oh," The younger straightened his posture. Brows furrowing, he asked, "Why? Is something wrong?"

"No, he's fine. You know him, he's studying away," He chuckled, which honestly Jeongguk agreed with. "Anyways, I don't usually do confrontations like this, but Taehyung's been through a lot."

"So I've heard," Jeongguk swallowed, wondering where this was going. Hoseok hummed.

"And I know Park Jimin. He's not a good guy," He continued, crossing his arms over his chest. "I taught him how to set every day for almost two years, and witnessed his every tantrum and bratty attitude. He talked shit on teammates. Screamed at my face."

That Jeongguk didn't know.

"However, that's the past. We're almost adults now," Hoseok cut him off before he could counter him. "I believe Park could have changed, and since you two are friends, you probably know more than I do. And since Taehyung is my friend, I want to know."

"Know what?" Jeongguk asked, pressing his lips together, mouth running dry.

"Is Park an actual good guy for Taehyung?

"You're a really nice kid, Jeongguk. You got respect that Park doesn't have. If you're lying, and you let Taehyung get hurt, I won't forgive you ever." The smile on Hoseok's face contrasted against his words, and honestly it felt like an indirect punch to the gut.

God, he forgot how intimidating Jung Hoseok was.

"I-I won't let him get hurt. I swear, Jimin's a good guy. Taehyung's just what he needs," The younger said, struggling to talk as a knot tangled itself in his throat.

"But is he what Taehyung needs?"

"W-What?" Jeongguk frowned, not expecting that.

"You do know how good of a person Tae is, right? He's one of those rare, genuine kinds of selfless people with too much love in them that it could kill 'em," Hoseok explained. "Right?"

He wasn't wrong.

"Hyung, I need to go back to practice. We could talk about this later." At that, Hoseok sighed softly, shaking his head.

"I was just hoping you know that Taehyung's worth more than he sells himself as, kid. But if you say so, okay. I trust you like I did with my position," Hoseok said, keeping his tone low. "But please, don't let Park Jimin hurt my best friend. He's been through a lot."

"Trust me when I say Taehyung doesn't need anymore heartbreak."

"Yeah, of course. You can trust me," Jeongguk murmured, watching as Hoseok reached forward and patted his shoulder, smiling at him like he did all those years ago.

"Great. It was nice coming back after so long, seeing you do well. Keep up the good work," Hoseok gave him a thumb-up before turning around and exiting past the gym doors out into the open.

Jeongguk gulped, unsure of what to think. All he knew was that Jimin and Taehyung were going to date, and like he promised, Jeongguk was going to help.

That was the whole point of this entire arrangement anyways. Jeongguk was going to benefit from this, and so was Taehyung for two entirely different reasons. He wasn't one to back out— he never did, but for some reason, Hoseok's words got him.

Would they work? Would Jimin actually fall for him? Would Taehyung be okay? His mind built different scenarios before tearing them back down, picking them apart until his head decided to develop another idea.

He shouldn't be worrying since Jimin knew what he was doing since out of the two of them he had the most experience, but that was what scared him. Who knew what he would do to a guy like Taehyung, who was absolutely clueless about everything.

Fuck, he didn't even know how to kiss a person, much less have sex with another guy.

It only made sense that Jeongguk would step in and teach him these things the right way. Sure, he was just like Jimin when it came to experience, but he wasn't going to let Taehyung turn into the second version of Jimin (god forbid that happens).

With all honesty, he shouldn't be caring this much, but it was Jimin and his career, and the fact that Taehyung was too nice for people like them to fuck with. If only he could figure things out right away instead of letting shit fall apart, and if Jimin wasn't a little bitch, stuff would be easier.

But that wasn't the case. He was awful at predicting the future (who wasn't?), Jimin was the biggest bitch ever to exist, and he got an interesting, genuinely good person involved with their fuckboy bullshit and his own fucked-up emotions.

This was supposed to be simple, not confuse the fuck out of him and complicate things even more. At this point, 'not thinking' was already out the window.

Jeongguk sighed, running a hand down his face, returning back to practice. He ignored the looks Yugyeom and San gave him as he fell back in line, head hanging as he replayed Hoseok's words in his head.

But is he what Taehyung needs?"

He had to do this. This was supposed to be about his needs, not Taehyung's, but the longer he let those words sit in his mind like a crushing weight about to snap apart every one of his bones, he wasn't so sure what his intentions were anymore.

Snap out of it, Jeongguk exhaled through his nose, gaze meeting Jimin's as neared his turn. The older flashed him a smile, but he looked the other way, unable to meet his stare properly.

Fuck, he was going to do this, because if he didn't, his life wouldn't be easy, and he needed life to be easy, to finally make sense. But this could work— it could; it was possible.

If he could get Kim Taehyung to change his looks, then it probably wouldn't be hard to get Jimin to change his personality, right?

♡♡♡

uh oh drama

also idk how tf to do slow burn
so i'm gonna do it my way & hope
i won't crush you guys in the process
hehe n e ways i lub u guys alot🥰 🥰
— mela 💛💛