Upon seeing those abyss eyes that seem darker than the night sky above him, I run — completely forgetting that I sprained my foot a while ago.

"Careful!" He reaches out while I'm already free-falling back to the ground.

Not minding the pain, I just stay there in the grass. My head hangs lower while frustration bubbles up in me. I hate the stinging warmth on my eyelids. Can this day get any worse?

I'm already rejected and this is what I get? More embarrassment to last me a lifetime?

"I'll bring—"

"No!" My word echoes so loudly before silence envelops us once more.

"Okay," he mumbles.

But my eyes widen watching him crouch beside me. "What are you doing?"

He simply shrugs and I'm already too tired to argue with him. If only my foot hasn't failed me.

Come to think of it, if not for the sprain, I won't be alone with Uriel and I won't have the guts to confess.

Recalling the lost expression on his face makes me want to rewind the time. I'm sure he's disgusted I actually assumed our feelings are mutual when he was only being friendly the whole time.

All the happiness from today comes crashing down tonight. Why can't I just be contented? Why do I just have to ruin things?

Suddenly, a handkerchief comes across my view. I haven't realized my vision has blurred and the trickling liquid from my lids.

While I am still dazed, cold fingers grab my chin, brushing the wetness of my cheeks. Maybe because it's been a long time since I've experienced this familiarity, I let him.

"You're still a crybaby," he says.

'Absolutely not.' I want to refute this. I don't think I ever cried after middle school.

Starting that day I want to forget, I resent showing my weakness. Tears are always a sign of vulnerability. There's only one person I dare to bring down my defense. That same person broke my trust and now look, he acts like he still cares when we both know there's no real warmth beneath that gaze focusing on me.

As though he wants to level up his pretense, he drapes his polo shirt to my body, blocking the chilling autumn breeze.

He pulls back his arm before looking away. "Don't get me wrong. You're shivering."

My brows knit. He's always been like this. He shows me gestures I misunderstood since I can remember but says things I want to strangle him out of annoyance. In the past, I am stupid to think his words are often a misconception and that he only means good. But then again, I realize I read too much about his actions to see the clear truth from his words.

I always trust his gestures but what if those come without words of verification? I should've known better but I still manage to fall for it twice.

Isn't this the same situation with Uriel? Again, I am reminded of the pricking sensation of rejection. I don't know how long this will haunt me when the previous one lasts for years.

And the exact same guy is still sitting beside me like he hasn't done anything wrong. Like he had not broken my self-esteem.

To be honest, when I tried to confess to this two-faced liar, I had prepared myself to get turned down. However, I haven't readied myself for betrayal. I'll never forget the fact that he backstabs me when he is wary of my insecurities.

The sobbing sound grows louder and I hate myself more. I already cried about this before but the pain from his words come bursting like it just happened today.

🎨 🎨 🎨

Leo sends me a message, making me squeal. I didn't even say goodbye to my friends before rushing to the classroom. I know Terrence is there with his friends.

I am already at the other side of the door when I remember I dropped the letter on his desk earlier. I didn't know I'll pass the entrance exam in the same school as him. Thinking I'll have the time to avoid him, I take the risk but now...

"Hey, bro, look there's a letter on your desk," Sid's voice makes me freeze. "It looks like a love letter."

"Damn who does that today?"

"Just throw it. It's useless," comes Terrence's reply.

Someone laughs. I peek at the door and see Kurt holding a pink envelope.

"Should I read it?" he says with a wide grin.

All of them are occupied by the discovery of my letter. I badly want to rush and get it but then that will just prove it's me when it's clear he's ready to reject whoever the sender was.

"No." Terrence grabs the letter. But before relief can flood me, the sound of torn paper fills the room. I quickly hide behind the door when they start moving.

"Damn, bro, that's harsh. You should've just read it. They must have felt nervous and taken great courage to send you that," Sid says.

"Why should I? I don't want to be in any relationship."

"You sure about that?" Sid says with a hint of teasing in his tone.

Terrence has not responded making both Kurt and Sid chuckle.

"By the way, are you really going to South High? That's too damn far!" Kurt says.

"Yeah."

"Good for you, I heard they have an art elective there," Sid comments.

"Remy too? Will she be able to pass? They have the most difficult entrance exams!"

"I don't know. Her works have been stagnant. She needs to do better than this or she'll be a failure."

The buzzing sound filters his following words. My breathing quickens and I escape, never looking back.

🎨 🎨 🎨

He's always been the type to give me criticisms and most of the time, it was never constructive. But hearing it come out of his mouth when his with others hits differently.

Isn't he my friend? I know I'm not the best — and maybe never will be — but shouldn't he stand by my side when someone doubts me? I've always done my best to defend him so is it wrong if I should expect the same?

What was the support he's shown me when we were together? I actually thought someone believes in my talent even though I lack trust in myself, but he actually doubts that I can't stand on the same footing as him.

The word 'failure' has been embedded in my soul since then. I was already aware I am but hearing it from the person I admire is like taking a faint ray of hope that I can be better.

Maybe no matter how I struggle I will always be one.

With that, I turn to his side. There's a wave of unrecognizable emotions as he looks up at the sky. But, I'm too drowned on my own to bother with him.

I struggle to stand up, causing him to look at me. He grabs my elbow but after I straightened my body, I avoid his touch.

Nobody speaks while I walk away. I can feel him following behind but who cares? It's his own will.

Still trying to maintain my dignity, I stride painfully slow that it's almost forever before I return to the cottage.

Majority appear drunk and their laughter resonates with the howling waves. I catch Maize right away and so does she.

She dashes in my direction, wrapping her hands around my arm to assist me.

"What's wrong? I saw Uriel leaving and he's not with you?"

I shrug, keeping my mouth shut.

"Is that also why you have a polo on your shoulder?"

My eyes widen. I completely forget about it. I look back but he's nowhere.

Maize's gaze captures me once more, concern still lacing in her eyes. "Tell me when you're ready."

"Thanks," I mutter and as the seconds pass, the recent hours just crash down on me.

Now, how will I face Uriel? Worse, why did I freaking cry in front of Terrence, of all people? 'Dang, it.'