Author's note: if you are still here let me get a vote ;) thanks.Chapter 6

We sat in front of each other in the living room in silence. My heart was racing a little and I searched for what to say. This is the first time Rin and I have sat together to talk since the wedding. Whenever I came home she would hide in her room and refuse to say one word to me. She was the one who called off the wedding and usually the situation should be reversed but I know Rin did it for me. Even when I was blindly signing myself off to her, thinking it was the right thing to do, she was thinking of me. She wanted me to be happy and for that I couldn't be more grateful. My love for Rin and my respect for her grew since then.

But still... what kind of relationship do we have now? Even though I feel like Rin is my family, we can't just be family again when we almost got married. That would be too unfair and too thoughtless when she is still in love with me. It would be exactly the same thing Kongpob is doing to me and I really don't want that.

"You look constipated with that much worry on your face," she suddenly broke the silence. "It's not attractive, Arthit."

"Do I look like I care?" my retort was automatic, but I paused in horror. Wasn't that too harsh. "I'm—"

Rin burst out laughing. "This isn't really funny but the look on your face."

"Hey, you are being rude. Stop mocking my sincere face."

She laughed softly and shook her head. "I am at fault so I won't blame you. Just like you I don't know what we are supposed to be together. It's like maybe we would be better off going our separate ways."

My heart skipped and twisted. This is what I was dreading all this time. That Rin wouldn't be able to handle to embarrassment and the pain, that she would say she wanted to move out. Damn it I don't want that!

"Rin!" I said but I didn't know what to say. I have nothing to offer her just like Kongpob has nothing to offer me. I was the only clinging, and at any time I would be abandoned, but I won't abandon Rin. I can't be her boyfriend or her brother, let alone her friend. Still I don't want to be nothing to her either.

"I know. I have to move on. you are not the only good guy out there, Arthit. I bet you in two years I will find someone better. Someone who trusts me, who makes me feel relaxed, who doesn't judge me for my past and protects me, someone who would look like this even after being dumped at his wedding." She laughed but her voice was shaky. "Arthit, I am sure there are at least a thousand guys like that out there."

"No... not a thousand. At least a hundred. "My smile was empty. I moved closer and hugged her shoulders. She melted into my arms and buried her head on my neck. She was trying to fight tears but they were failing. If I could right then and there I would love her back. I would hit the guy making her feel this way. I know exactly how she is feeling and I wish I could protect her.

"We don't have to decide what we are to each other right away," she muttered, her hair tickling my chin.

"Yeah?"

"Hm. Let's just try to be able to talk to each other at least."

"Okay. That sounds simple enough."

She pinched my arm. "Are you calling me simple?"

"No! I'm just saying that it's easy to talk to you, Rin."

"I see." My hand hurts where she pinched but I couldn't rub it because she was still in my arms.

"Hey, are you and Kongpob dating now?"

"hmmmmm...."

"That sounds depressing," she said.

"It is. I love him and he loves me too, but for some reason we are not together."

"His soulmate?"

"Yeah."

"Do you really believe that story?"

Did I really believe it? I think I did, partly. A portion of me suspected that Kongpob was being delusional and that he was referring to an ex as his soulmate. The other part thought it was possible. Kongpob's conviction was just too powerful for it to be faked.

"I think he believes it and that's what truly matters. "

"So then that means he would never accept you." She shifted her weight. "Have you thought about what you would do if that happens?"

"What I would do?"

She suddenly elbowed me and sat up, glaring hotly. "Don't tell me you plan to continue like this forever with him?"

"Eh?"

"Arthit," she hit me again. "Are you stupid? Don't tell me you plan to just be by his side for the rest of your life even if he doesn't return your feelings? What if his soulmate appears? What if he marries someone else? How long are you going to keep waiting for him?"

My wide eyes and speechless mouth was all the answer she needed. "God," she held her head. "I think I made a mistake in dumping you. I should have just married you if you were going to be like this."

I laughed. "Maybe you should have. Sometimes..." my smile faded. "I feel so out of control. It's as if I can't stop myself from loving him. I feel hooked, completely, Rin. The thought of what I would do when he leaves me, honestly I haven't let myself consider it."

She smacked my head." That's why you are an idiot! Okay fine, promise me... if in a year Kongpob doesn't return your feelings you will be with me."

"What?"

"Promise me, Arthit."

"You are threatening me?"

"Yes. For your own good. I won't allow you to trap yourself in a loveless relationship with Kongpob forever. And if he has even one shred of real feelings for you, he wouldn't either. So promise me that in a year you will come back to me and try to love me instead."

"..." a year is a long time but it can finish in a flash. Rin may not even still be in love with me then and I... will I still be in love with Kongpob? Even as he continues to reject me?

"Even if it's not me," Rin muttered. "If it has to be a guy by all means, you have to give up on Kongpob in a year. That's what I want you to promise me."

Oh, she thought I was hesitating because I didn't want to be with her. I smiled and took her hand. "If it isn't Kongpob then it has to be you Rin. The two of you are the only people I feel so strongly for."

Her cheeks were faintly red, which was a sight to see since Rin never seemed to get embarrassed. "Then," her pinky hooked mine, "it is a promise."

Without even hesitating, her lips touched mine. They were cold and they startled me. We blinked at each other with red faces and then my phone began to ring.

"Hey," I answered as I separated myself from Rin and put some distance between us. I didn't want her to see the name of the caller because I suspected it would hurt her. It was a funny feeling I had as I pulled away and began to talk. Why was Kongpob calling me?

"Hey, are you coming out any time soon?"

"Huh? I told you not to come back. I'm spending the night here."

"Did you? I guess I forgot. Anyway, can you come out for a bit?

This guy was simply hopeless. Was he so jealous of Rin that he couldn't even let me stay one night? I smiled sweetly as I said, "go back home. I'm already in bed."

"No you are not."

"I am."

"Come on, I just want to see you for a little bit."

Why was he being like this? It was honestly... too sweet. I want to go to him now and hold him. Maybe he would even let me steal a kiss. It was too sudden when he kissed me back at the arcade so I didn't really enjoy it as much. It has been a while since we kissed too so I am craving him a little bit harder than I can control.

As I wavered, my eyes flickered to Rin who was giving me a blank stare. She shook her head as if rejecting a question I wasn't asking.

"I will send him off, "I told her.

"Why? You want him to love you, right? Use all the time you have, Arthit." saying that breezily, she rose to her feet and left the living room.

"What are you doing?" Kongpob said on the line.

"I'm coming."

I ended the call and walked out of the door. My serious face was on because I didn't want Kongpob to think I was pleased with everything he does. He had to know where the line is and not to cross it. Okay, I wanted him crossing the lines he has drawn so it's only fair that I let him cross a few but honestly why is he behaving like this.

I spotted him leaning on his car, phone still in hand as if he was texting someone or reading a message.

"Why did you come back?"

"Can we talk in the car? It's cold."

We are both wearing t-shirts and our arms were exposed so I agreed without words and entered his car. I could still smell Nue's perfume on the seat and my face squeezed slightly.

"You and Nue... how did it go?"

"I don't care about that and neither should you. I already told you... you have me till I find my soulmate. I am not going to choose anyone else, got it?"

He sounded impatient and was leaning very close. "wha-what do you want?"

"What?" did his eyes just flicker to my lips and is he leaning even closer. My face was burning.

"I mean why did you come back here?"

"Oh," he withdrew a little and I almost wept. "I was curious how things went with Rin."

"Because you are jealous?"

"A little." He admitted it and he was staring at my mouth again.

"Do you really want to know," my lips lifted at the side and I leaned closer. "It got a little heavy..."

"Yeah?"

"And a little hot..."

"hm mmh."

He wasn't listening. He was practically begging me to kiss him. This was too strange but my heart was pounding. This, if I remember correctly, is the first time Kongpob wanted a kiss from me. He enjoyed it when I kissed him and sometimes even reciprocated it but he never wanted it.

"Do you want me to show you?"

"Can you?" my mouth barely touched his when Kongpob took over the kiss, deepened it quickly and made my head spin with pleasure. The way his mouth molded to mine, and his tongue... I have never felt him kiss like this. My mind lost all thought and I clung to him as he fisted my hair and practically dragged me into his lap.

I should have felt embarrassed at the sounds I was making and how hungry for him I was. I should have held back a little to make sure this was mutual but I was on top of him, kissing his mouth, sucking his tongue and groaning at each tendril of pleasure that kissing him made me feel. It was like nothing I have felt in my life and I think it broke me. I don't think I would ever be able to enjoy kissing anyone else again.

We separated but just to turn our heads and catch our breath then we were back again. Something ripped loudly and made us pull apart. Vaguely I could comprehend that I had somehow pulled Kongpob's shirt hard enough to tear it, but I couldn't quite see how that should stop us right now. My mind was shamelessly ready to ignore everything in favour of getting more of Kongpob. A desire with a strength that I was capable of, made me cling to him.

"shit." I was sure I looked desperate and completely powerless. My face was hot and red, my lips swollen and ready to be kissed again. I would normally be too embarrassed to remain sitting on Kongpob like I was if I was thinking clearly.

But Kongpob said, "Let's go home, P'Arthit."

What did that mean? Were we done kissing or are we going to the apartment to continue. I don't need to say which one I preferred but I couldn't ask him.

We separated fully and I noticed that my shirt was riding up my chest. When had he pulled it up? When I would speak, he titled my face and gave me a peck.

"Let's continue at home."

What the hell. Is this really happening or am I dreaming?

My cheeks were hot as I pulled down my shirt. I didn't nor could I say a word as he started the car and drove us home.

Author's note: chapter 7 will be up tomorrow... hopefully.