Chapter 17

My stepmother is insane. She looked me right in the eye and told me to break up with Kongpob, as if I would listen to her. As if it was her place. She talked a lot of bullshit about family honor and how I shouldn't disgrace the family when she never even considered me family. She even made it seem like she was allowing me to be my father's son now. That I was his legitimate heir. Everything belongs to me only if she says so and if I didn't break up with Kongpob it would be lost.

I honest to god cannot understand where she got the audacity. Now that she knows she can't ever have any sons she wants to use me. She thinks she has a right to me, showing me those damned adoption papers. Tears filled my eyes when I thought about it. Did my mother really give me away? She never said anything though, for my whole life. Those papers could very well be a lie. How could my mom give me up, to her?

I jolted out of my thoughts when Kongpob spun the car and made it screech. What the hell. He is so pissed at me and it makes me feel even angrier. I didn't need this right now. I am still trying to process the things that my stepmother said to me and try to get my feelings under control. Why can't he support me in this like he has been doing all along?

The car rounded into the parking lot rudely and Kongpob kept the engine running but he didn't get off and I just stared at him. I have never seen him this angry and it baffled the hell out of me, so much so that lost a good deal of my anger.

"You go, I am going somewhere else," he said when I didn't make any move to leave the car.

"Where?"

"You don't get to ask that. Get off."

My throat tightened at his cold face. Isn't he being too much? Is this really the time for him to be angry with me? "I won't break up with you, "I said. "Even if my father wants me to, I won't."

He said nothing for many seconds, his fingers still clenched on the wheel but then he let the engine die.

"How can you think that I would," I began, "when it took so much to get you to go out with me."

"Then why are you so against him finding out?"

"Because it would be troublesome. In six years it wouldn't matter but right now, right now it would be better if he doesn't know. Though even if he knows, I won't let you go, Kongpob."

He stared at me and then sighed deeply. "P'Arthit." He shook his head at me. "Why did you make me angry then, you could have just told me that."

"I was mad and you just had to aggravate me. And there's the thing with your soulmate."

Kongpob rubbed at his face then said," Let's take this upstairs."

I nodded and we got out of the car and into our apartment. It felt so good to finally be back home and yes, this was home. I am never letting those people come back into my life again. Not Paula, not her mother, and definitely not my father. The minute I am free of him I will leave him in the dust.

"So." Kongpob looked awkward standing there in the middle of the living room trying to look at me but failing. He had looked so angry before but some of that anger was disappearing, fading into a nervousness I didn't understand. "About my... soulmate."

My pulse elevated and my eyes widened. This sounded like a conversation I wasn't ready for still, I asked, "what about your soulmate."

Kongpob cleared his throat, rubbed his hand one, two, three times, and then gestured at the couch. "Can we sit down?"

"No," I said, cold running down my spine. "No, no, no, "I started to panic, my voice becoming a little louder with each word. "Please don't tell me. I don't want to know. Keep me in the dark."

"I can't," Kongpob said standing still. He was determined and the strength left me in the face of his determination. I sat on the chair, too weak to keep standing.

I opened my mouth and closed before covering my face. I was shaking. "God." I used a word I never use, that was how terrified I felt. Kongpob has found his soulmate. That's what he wants to say to me. I fought the urge to weep and beg. Tried really hard to regain composure but none of it worked out so I cried into my hands, pressing my eyelids even though they were dry.

"Listen to me." Kongpob came to me, crouching in front of me and trying to pry my hand away from my face. "It's not what you think."

"It is what I think. You found them."

He didn't respond for many seconds but then he said, "yes. I found her."

A whimper escaped me then I tried to run. Distance, I needed distance to escape this reality. I knew it would happen eventually but this was too soon. "Then that's all I need to know." I pulled away and turned around. The door was just before me, I can leave this room and stop thinking about the fact that when I come back, Kongpob is going to be gone.

"Wait." Kongpob grabbed my hand, I didn't even move. He dragged me to the couch and pushed me down on it. I was still trying to arrange myself on the couch when he climbed over me and crushed my mouth to his. The kiss was hard and a little painful. Kongpob drew me into the most confusing and distracting kiss I have ever had and I was left breathless when he pulled away. Why is he kissing me? Is he not trying to break up with me?

"Why—"he didn't let me finish and kissed me again. While the first kiss had been harsh and meant to shock me, this one turned me on. Kongpob took possession of my mouth. We've never kissed this deeply before and I could do nothing but gasp and touch him, pull his shirt up so I could feel his skin, and drag him closer as my mouth met his over and over again. I was well and thoroughly distracted by my lust.

Kongpob pulled away and we both stared at each, both out of breath and both of us prepared to keep doing what we were doing. Kongpob was cupping my face with both his hands and I couldn't focus on anything but how he felt on top of me. I have always yearned for this. Never thought it would happen but always hoped that it would. To think that it would happen after Kongpob found his soulmate. I don't know what to say.

I wanted to keep kissing, my hands on Kongpob's back urged him to return his mouth to mine urgently but he shifted off me and sat next to me. I had to blink a few times to understand.

"Kongpob?"

"I love you," he said, out of the blue. The sincerity in his voice was almost painful. If I didn't believe him before, I couldn't doubt him now. "Much more than I had ever thought. I wasn't supposed to love anyone this much. I wasn't supposed to love anyone else at all, but I am desperately in love with you, P'Arthit and I really want you to always remember that."

His eyes looked at me. They were so warm and so open. I have never seen this much openness in Kongpob. It scared me a little and worried me a lot.

"I won't let you go," he continued. "You were wrong when you said I had one foot in and the other out. I didn't know it before but after meeting her...I just know that you are the most important person in the world to me. "The words made me happy but they seemed to cause Kongpob pain. He grimaced and looked away, his mouth quivering then I saw the tears spill. Those words that made my world bright again are tearing something up in Kongpob. I don't even know why.

"argh, I said it, and I feel just as awful." He sniffed and wiped at his face. "Not about loving you," he met my eyes again, his were red with tears. "Never about loving but I just... I made a promise to love someone forever and I broke it. "He broke off into tears again and this time I tried to touch him, comfort him. He avoided my touch, rose up from the couch, and put a long distance between us. I drop my hand, wordless and confused.

"P'Arthit you have to understand, it isn't her fault. I wanted the soulmate bond. the truth is there is no such thing as soulmates. People... aren't supposed to love one person in all lifetimes. "He broke off into tears and then looked at me through tears. "We are supposed to have as many loves as there could be. I didn't know that. I didn't want that and I wanted to love her forever. I thought it would be better to love only her than love anyone else. Until I met you I didn't think it was possible to love anyone else. So I made the soulmate bond and I tied her to me. She knows nothing."

The pain in Kongpob's voice and his face made me hurt. I didn't understand what he was saying but I needed to make the pain go away.

"Okay, "I said. "What do you want to say, Kong? What can I do?"

"I won't go to them." He returned to sitting next to me on the couch and in his eyes I saw desperation. "I won't leave you for them no matter what, I will always choose you. All I ask is that... you let me be a part of her life."

"What?" the word was almost lost in my voice. "I don't—"I looked for the right words. "How does that work. I mean she is your ex, right?"

He said nothing for a moment then his eyes locked with mine." Trust me," he said.

Even though I wanted to help him I couldn't see how letting my man be with his ex was a good idea. "I trust you but..."

He didn't leave me when I thought he would. Kongpob truly loved me and said he wouldn't leave me, will it be that bad to let him have this one thing he is asking of. No, it wouldn't but I am afraid. What if he falls in love with her all over again? If he ends up loving her more because there's definitely a part of his heart that has her name on it. What if that part becomes large and totally erases mine. Kongpob says he loves me but I don't think he knows how much I love him and that losing him will completely destroy me.

But he was honest with me. He could have hidden it from me and I do in fact trust him. "I don't know if this is a good idea, Kongpob. "

"I won't get too close, she might remember me too and then things will become complicated. I will just be outside of her life looking in."

I lowered my gaze. "And this is important to you, isn't it."

Kongpob looked away from me and exhaled, his expression revealing how shaken he really was. It is so important he doesn't even have the words. "Okay. I get it. But I don't want to know who it is or I might stalk her and get a little crazy. Just... always come home to me, okay?"

"yeah." He didn't smile, he must know how much it's costing me to let this go and trust him this much.

.Author's note: thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Since I resumed work again, I won't be updating consistently. We'll be lucky if we get two chapters a month from now on. Really appreciate guys and hope you leave me a vote before you go.

Also, please check out my new story.