Two years later

Fiona picked up a crying Henry in her arms and rushed to answer the door.

"Henry sweetheart here is George Pig give him a cuddle." The toddler took the toy and instantly brightened.

Opening the door Fiona smiled at the young woman on the other side of the door.

"Can I help?" Fiona enquired.

"Yes, I hope so." The woman answered.

Fiona recognised her but was unable to place her.

"I am Oliver's colleague and I was wondering if he was in?" The woman looked past Fiona straining to see down the hallway.

"Eh, yes, of course, he is in the kitchen with Mattie, do you want to come in?" Fiona motioned for the girl to enter the house. " I am so sorry, since I had the second one," she nodded to Henry in her arms, "I can't remember my name, never mind anyone else's. I know we met before, was it at the deanery night out?"

"Yes, I am Alice," the woman pointed to herself, "I won't be long, I just need a quick word."

"Come through, do you want a coffee?" Fiona led the way to the kitchen and Alice followed her.

Alice noticed how dishevelled Fiona looked and her sympathy with Oliver grew. She could see how he had been trapped into a marriage with this frumpy fat woman and how he must have been desperate to be with her. The news she was about to give him and this hanger on type of a woman would release him.

It would let them both be together as they had planned over the few stolen nights they had together.

"Oliver!" Fiona shouted, "You have a visitor, Alice."

As she approached the kitchen she saw Oliver spin around and almost drop Mattie who he was swinging around playing airplanes. The child's blonde hair making a golden trail behind her. The colour drained from Oliver's face and he looked like he was going to throw up.

"Oh, Alice," he managed, " I didn't expect to see you here, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Fiona watched Alice with envy, the long shiny dark hair and twenty five year old's body made her look at her own and shudder. She had not regained her shape from Mattie five years ago and now with Henry at two years old, she had run out of excuses for her weight and now clothes that fit her without her bursting through them were few and far between. Alice in her clean expensive jeans and t shirt, she in Oliver's old Rugby top and a pair of leggings covered in toddler spit and this morning's breakfast.

"What do you take in your coffee?" Fiona asked, " We are strictly a french, knock you on your bum coffee, type of house so I have a pot of the finest."

"Can I have a tea?" Alice looked at her coldly, " you see I shouldn't have too much caffeine as I am pregnant."

"Congratulations!" Fiona offered, "when are you due? You can't be far along? Or are you one of those incredibly lucky women who don't show until you are in the labour ward?" Fiona chuckled to herself.

She saw Oliver shoot a look at Alice which instantly made her blood run cold.

"I am fourteen weeks and I think you should know that your husband is the father."

Fiona looked between Alice and Oliver. She took Henry off of her hip and took his hand.

"Mummy! Want up!" he demanded.

"Shh baby, I am going to get your sister and you are both going into the playroom to watch Finding Nemo."

"Yes!" Shouted Mattie, "Love you mum! Come with me Henners and you can be Nemo and I will be Dory."

Fiona led the children into the room. Oliver watched her go into the room and turned to Alice.

"Alice what the fuck are you doing?" Oliver hissed.

"Doing what you said," she smiled and moved towards him, "I mean, wow, I remember her being a bit of a dog at the deanery do and I know you said she had let herself go but hells' teeth how do you manage to stay? Now that we are having a baby you can let her go and I move in with me. I mean look at this place its a pigsty."

"It is our home Alice, with two children under five, what do you expect?" Fiona said calmly walking into the kitchen clearly overhearing the previous conversation.

"Well its not as though you work is it? What do you do all day?" Alice asked Fiona.

Fiona calmly got a glass down from the cupboard, went into the wine cabinet, took out an already opened bottle of red and filled her glass. Oliver and Alice watched her in silence as she took a large glug and drew breath.

"Ok, Let's blow some of these myths shall we? How do you think we afford this house?"

"Oliver's salary?" Alice asked.

"Ha! Fuck off, I make double what he does. Did he tell you that I stay at home and look after the children, whilst he slaves away at the hospital?"

"Well yes.." Alice looked at Oliver. He had lain in her arms. He had told her that he was the main breadwinner.

Fiona shot Oliver a deathly look and turned to Alice.

"I am a product director for a pharmaceutical company with global travel and responsibility. I have had two spells of maternity leave in five years of eight week's each. We have a brilliant day nanny who looks after the kids, however I thought we both took equal share in caring for our children because I didn't have the kids as a fucking favour to Oliver."

Oliver made to interrupt. Fiona raised her hand to stop him.

"You, lover boy, can talk when me and your mistress have finished." Fiona turned her gaze to Alice. "Come on then, tell me what else he has told you?"

"You and he are living a sham life and you have not had sex since you got pregnant with Henry."

Fiona burst out laughing, took another glug of wine and turned to Oliver.

"Go on then! Explain s'il vous plait,
Oliver." Fiona demanded

Oliver shifted his gaze from Fiona to Alice and then to the floor. He sat in the chair and placed his head in his hands. " It was not supposed to be like this." he said to himself.

Alice looked from Fiona to Oliver. She crouched down to his level and raised his eyes to hers. "Do you still love her? Do you still have sex?"

Oliver looked past Alice to Fiona. Fiona looked at him wearily.

"Yes I love her. Yes we have sex." Oliver admitted.

"You lied to me!" Alice shouted, "You lied about wanting to leave her and your house, you lied, you are a liar!"

"And a cheat, and a scumbag, oh and a pathetic excuse for a human being." Fiona added.

"Oliver! What am I going to do! I can't become her!" Alice pointed to Fiona, "I can't be a middle aged single mother."

Fiona finished her glass and walked calmly to Oliver. "Go." she said flatly.

"What?" Oliver looked at Fiona. " Go where?"

"With her, now." Fiona looked at him calmly

"I don't want to. I want to stay here, with you, with the children"

"You should have thought of that before your pillow talk with Miss Gullible here."

"Oliver, she is letting you go! It is what we wanted" Alice implored him, taking his hand .

Oliver dropped his hand. " No, I am sorry Alice. This is my family and I am needed here."

"No!" Alice shouted. "You are coming with me!"

"Go," Fiona put her hand on his shoulder, "if that is what you really want, then go."

"My children..." Oliver looked genuinely upset.

"Will always be your children. I said that from the beginning. No matter what happens between you and me, those children will always be yours. Please don't make them the excuse to stay. Marriage is fragile enough without so poor a foundation."

"No, I am sorry Alice. I am staying here. We need to talk together later, find out what you want from me but I need to stay with my family."

"You are rejecting me for her!" Alice spat the words at Fiona.

Oliver looked between them both, "It's complicated."

"Alice, Oliver will meet you in the cafe down the road in 10 minutes. Please let me speak to my scumbag husband and then he can tell you as many lies as you can take then."

Alice stood up and marched to the door.

"On the left down the end of the street" Fiona shouted after her.

Oliver got up and ran to the downstairs toilet to throw up. Mattie came out of the playroom.

"Mummy, I can speak Whale!

Muuuuuuuuummmmyyyy Iiiiiii caaaaaan speeeeeeeaaaaak Whaaaaaaale."

"You are mummy's clever little poppet, now, teach your brother Whale and let mummy and daddy have a talk."

"Mummy, is it the talk you have in the bedroom, when you shout Daddy's name and he wrestles with you?"

"Nope sweetheart its a proper grown up chat at the table."

"Oh mummy! Will you be speaking scottish and using all the bad words I am not allowed to say?"

"I will try not to. If you and Henry stay in there until we have the chat, we will go to the park in an hour and mummy will buy icecream."

"Yes! Yeeeeeees muuuuuummmy!" Mattie ran back into the room.

Fiona began to clear up the breakfast dishes and waited for Oliver to come back from the toilet.

Oliver could hear Fiona noisily clearing up in the kitchen. She only tidied up when she was very angry and he knew the house would be spotless by teatime. He looked in the mirror and berated himself for being so bloody stupid.

Alice had been coming on to him for over three years. He got drunk at a leaving do when Fiona was pregnant with Henry and one thing led to another. In truth it was the excitement of the affair he enjoyed. The sex was ok, but Alice was very, very boring and quite a cold person, which she had demonstrated taking Fiona apart.

He had said there was no sex, which he knew was a lie. It was always great with Fiona despite them both being exhausted from work and small children. He felt like a complete arse for the hurt he was causing Fiona and his family. He was not sure how it was going to work out but he knew he couldn't stay in the downstairs toilet forever.

Fiona heard Oliver come into the kitchen. She poured them both a cup of coffee and she nodded for him to sit at the table.

"Well, that's upset my Sunday plans," she looked at Oliver, "what the fuck where you thinking?"

"Oh Fiona I wasn't. It was a bit of fun, nothing else. I never said you had let yourself go or anything like that. I never said I wanted to leave.."

"Fuck Oliver, she is knocked up! Did you not use anything? You could have given me anything you selfish bastard!"

"I....didn't think..." Oliver admitted

"How long? Oliver please don't lie, how long?"

"About two or so years ." he said quietly.

"Fuck!" she said softly, "Henry was still a baby! Was it when I went to look after Jilly with the kids. When you went to Copenhagen ?" Oliver's face told her that she was correct, "Oliver you fucking scumbag. My best friend was dying and you fucked some moron because you weren't getting enough attention."

"I was lonely, you were, you were you...doing everything, sorting everything. I knew you would see David and it made me jealous.." Oliver recalled. The thought of David in the same house as Fiona drove him mad.

"Hang on, because I was with my friends, who one of them happens to be my ex, in your book, gives you the excuse to fuck someone??" Fiona could not believe her ears.

"You know the thought of you and him makes me feel upset."

"Oliver don't change the fucking subject. Since I have been with you I have not had sex with anyone else. Whereas you! You I don't trust anymore! How could you?"

"Don't make me leave Fiona, I love you and the kids."

"Is love enough? How could you break this? For a bit of insecurity? If it was just an affair I don't know. This is an affair and a baby Oliver you idiot!" Fiona began to clean the cooker.

"I did not know about that until this morning." Oliver stared quietly.

"No shit sherlock! I saw that when the words came out of her mouth. How is that going to work? You may have noticed Oliver but unlike you I am not French, indeed, I am West of Scotland Presbyterian. I cannot have my kids and then the half sibling that joins in. How do we explain that to the kids. Well daddy was insecure so he knocked up some bint and now we have another child who we see every second weekend?"

"Fiona I have not given this any thought.." Oliver admitted. He was terrified. Terrified of losing his children, his home and his wife.

"You know Oliver, you have done so little thinking that you could donate your brain to medical science as unused. Well you best get your thinking cap on because you will be meeting your mistress in five minutes and you will need a story to share."

"What will you do?" Oliver was most anxious for her answer.

"I will put my children first Oliver, that is what I will do. What is best for them?"

"That we are together?" Oliver said it more hopefully than factually.

"You should have thought of that before you broke us," she sighed,"for the meantime you move to the spare room."

Oliver sipped his coffee and stared at the table.

"What will you tell the children?"

"I won't say anything to them. Not until we have made a decision as a couple about what we are going to do. You need to work out what you are going to do about having another child and not with me."

"Shit, Fiona this is a nightmare." Oliver stared at his wedding ring. The ring he took off when he was with Alice.

"Of your creation Oliver. Here it is, for all I am bloody mad at you, the baby you have made, well, as far as I can tell it is not the baby's fault. I will be civil and loving towards that child for two reasons. One, it didn't ask to be born and two, the child will be a half sibling to my children. If I want my children to have tolerance then by god I am going to have to show it first aren't I?"

"I will move into the spare room, you can tell the children it is my snoring."

"Right you are, move your things and you better text your mistress and tell her you are ready for your chat. I am taking the kids to the park and then for ice cream. I don't know where afterwards but be sure of this Oliver, I am not taking them away from you."

Fiona got up and began more furious cleaning. Oliver shook his head and dragged himself from the table and went into the playroom to sit with Mattie and Henry.

"Daddy!" Mattie and Henry shouted together.

"Daddy me want to sit with you" Henry ran and sat on Oliver's lap, "time for Henner's airplane Daddy, like Mattie Daddy!" Henry's big brown eyes widened as her peered at Oliver through his blond hair.

"Daddy is going to take you with him for a haircut this afternoon after the park" he laughed at Henry, "I don't want anyone to think you are a little girl."

"Daddy I am a big boy, just like you!" Henry planted a big kiss on Oliver's cheek and wrapped his arms around his neck. Oliver felt the sob rise in his throat thinking about losing the children and disrupting their lives. He didn't know who to turn to, who to take advice from in this situation.

"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Bill and Auntie Heather's car is outside!" Mattie shouted. " Dylan! Findlay! Mummy, Mummy the boys are here!"

Fiona looked up as Bill, Heather and the boys ran into the house.

"Fiona, do you ever answer your bloody phone?" Heather demanded. "Jesus! you look a state! When did you last have a shower and wear anything that wasn't a tent? Bill just offered to take the kids to the cinema........"

Heather stopped speaking when she saw the huge tears spilling down Fiona's face.

"Woman, I said you and her could go for a facial, massage whatever you women do and me and Froggy could take the kids to the cinema" Bill shouted from the door.

"Tuncle Bill!" Henry shouted from the playroom. Dylan and Findlay pushed past their dad into the playroom.

"Oliver you look like shite!" Bill laughed, "First time in ten years I have seen you look anything but great. Christ that sounds a bit gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that sort of thing mind."

"I need to get some air Bill, I will be back in ten minutes, we can take the kids then huh?" Oliver slunk past Bill. He couldn't make eye contact with him.

"Course, got a hangover?" Bill asked.

"Something like that." Oliver sprinted out of the house towards the cafe.

Bill walked into the kitchen and made his way to fridge. He opened it and began to rummage inside. "Need to find some stuff for the kids, ah there you go Capri Suns and baby bells. Well done Fi you are such a good wife."

"Bill, there are some crisps and biscuits in the drawer and I will put some sandwiches together for them all." Fiona squeaked.

"Sure thing Fi." Bill looked at Fiona and stopped still. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Oliver has been a total P.R.I.C.K" Heather said summing up the situation quickly. 

"Mum, why is Uncle Oliver a prick?" Dylan asked from the playroom.

"Dylan! Do not use that language!"

"Dad just said fuck." Dylan stated.

"Dylan! You are so grounded for that!"

"Mum, I didn't say it, I was only repeating what dad said!"

"Yes and my mummy says that word when she is angry with Daddy!" Mattie chimed in.

"Bill," Heather spoke quietly, "you need to take the kids out now and let me speak to Fiona on my own!"

"Christ Heather, I am not Mr Tumble, I will be eaten alive by the four of them."

"If you take them to the park now, you can have sex anyway you want tonight."

Bill brightened, "Lights on and blow jobs?" He giggled.

"Yes and I will even go on top if you want." Heather sighed.

"Kids! Jackets!Shoes! Footballs! Mattie take your scooter! We are going to the park NOW!" Bill shouted into the playroom. He then gleefully turned to Heather and made his sex face whilst hip thrusting.

When they had all left the house Heather went to the wine fridge, took out a bottle of red and began pouring into the largest glass she could find.

"Oh Heather, I have have already had one!"

"It's not for you, its for me. I will need to be pissed to get through the shagging with Bill. I will pour you a smaller one and you can tell me what is going on."

"Heather, is there seriously something wrong with me?" Fiona asked.

"In what way?" Heather looked at Fiona. There was something serious going on.

"Well my first fiance fucked someone else, the second fucked someone else and then after my accident couldn't you know, fancy me, and then this one, I get to the aisle, we have the kids, I think it is all ok and then....Oh, God Heather, he has got someone else pregnant." Fiona let out a long breath to steady herself from crying.

"He fucking what?" Heather choked on her wine.

"Yup, she turned up at the door ten minutes before you lot. She stood there Heather all sleek and young and tight and beautiful. What chance did I have against that?"

"So help me Fiona, I am going to slap you one! You are gorgeous and smart. You are the funniest person I know. You are kind and clever and a bloody brilliant mum." Heather could not believe her ears.

"Heather, look at me!" Fiona pointed to her stomach and thighs. Her rugby top covered in breakfast and toddler snot.

"Ok, ok, nothing short of a month off the wine, a wash and some clothes and you will be right as rain."

"She is having his baby Heather," the tears began to leak out of Fiona, "this is the man who begged me for children. The man who loves his family. Heather what am I going to do. Mattie idolises him and so does Henry. What will they think?"

"They are young enough to cope with whatever happens Fiona. I am more concerned about you." Heather cuddled Fiona and let her sob into her top for five minutes whilst Heather drained the glass of wine.

Oliver sat opposite Alice in the cafe staring into his coffee unable to fathom what Alice was saying. He watched her as she discussed him leaving with her now. How she had sorted out room for his things at her flat. How she has organised her life for the baby and her plans for them as a couple. He watched her as if he was watching a play. He felt distant from her and her situation. When she finished her thoughts he searched for the words to explain how he was feeling without setting off a scene.

"Alice, I did not intend for this, I thought that you were using contraception at least that is what you told me."

"I did, I mean, I did in the beginning, when we had that magical weekend away at the conference in Copenhagen , you know the one, just the two of us." she looked to Oliver for acknowledgement which he nodded, " then I knew. I knew you were the one. I knew you would be the father of my children. I also knew that you needed to get away from her.."

"What did I say Alice?" Oliver's voice was flat.

"You said,'I am glad to be away from home, I need this and I need you', that is what you said.'

"So Alice, you took from that statement that I was desperate to leave my wife and family to be with you."

"Yes, yes of course that is what you meant wasn't it?"

"No Alice, it wasn't. I am ashamed to say that when we had that weekend my wife had just buried one of her best friends, was grinding through post natal depression and my son was sick. It was very intense at home, I needed to get away. I needed to feel desired and young just for the moment. I came back to find my wife as low as I had ever seen her. I needed to be her husband and get her some help, which to my eternal shame I didn't notice but one of her friends did."

"So she is mental as well as fat and ugly. Oliver you don't need to stay with her out of a sense of duty. Leave her, be with me. If she is nuts you can get the children and we can hire a nanny and ..."

"Stop," Oliver's voice was harsh, "what has my wife ever done to you?"

"She, she has you! She has you trapped!"

"No cherie, she does not!" Oliver took Alice's hand, "no she is kind, amazing, selfless and worth ten of you."

Alice's mouth fell open, "You are only saying this because she has threatened you! She will try and stop you seeing your children. She will try and turn them against our baby!"

"Alice, please listen to me, I like you, you are fun. You and I have made a baby and that is shocking but I must take responsibility for that. Please make no mistake I am not leaving my family for you. I cannot make that any clearer."

"This is her talking and not you Oliver!" Alice sobbed, her wails began to draw attention from the regulars in the cafe.

Oliver hunched over and whispered, "You are making a scene, you need to go and see your friend, what is her name?"

"Michaela?" Alice stifled he sobs.

"Yes Michaela, then you and I can meet tomorrow after clinics. To be clear Alice, the talk will be about us sorting out the arrangements for the baby. You and I will not be seeing each other again in that sort of way."

Alice dissolved into a stream of sobs. Oliver was trapped and he knew it. Truly trapped in all senses of the word as he had sat in the seat beside the wall and he could not get up and past Alice. 

Oliver quickly assessed his options.  Fiona would be hell to live with until the Rapture. Alice and the baby would make it worse. If there was no baby then Fiona might be better to try and live with in the future. The thought appalled him but he felt himself running out of options.

"Alice, Cher, had you given any thought to perhaps not continuing with the baby, given that I won't be able to support you the way that you thought?"

Alice stopped sobbing and gathered herself, she patted her face, took a deep breath in and met Oliver's eye.

"No Oliver," she replied coldly, which made Oliver sick to his stomach, "no, you are mine. This is mine and we will be together. mark my words. You can say what you wish now and tomorrow. I know that your wife will leave you Oliver. You are not the type of man to be alone and one way or another you will be with me." Alice took her handbag, placed £2 on the table and left.

Oliver watched her leave and for the second time that day his stomach heaved and he ran to toilet.

Oliver thought about the English saying of walking with the weight of the world on your shoulders and noted that until now he wasn't sure what that phrase meant. He felt as though his legs would buckle from the weight of the problems he had created in his head. He had been an utter fool. He thought he could have his fun, cut and run. He could not have been prepared for the utter devastation that woman had rained down on his life. He turned the corner towards his house and saw Bill with all of the children in the playground.

He watched in awe as Bill picked his children up and threw them on to the see saw. He watched as they all laughed and giggled and felt the lowest he ever had in his whole life at the heartache he was about to commence in all of their lives.

"Oliver! Ollie!Ols!" Bill bellowed across the road at Oliver, "Frogs! Fromage!" He continued until Oliver looked up, "Shitting hell you look awful! What on earth has happened to you?"

Oliver trudged across the road to the park. "I have been the biggest prick in the world!"

"Ah now steady, we all make daft mistakes Ols, what did you do this time? No let me guess? It has to be good cause Heather," Bill lowered his voice and leant into Oliver, "has offered me a blowie with the lights on tonight due to the magnitude of what has happened and the fact she needed me to get the kids out of the house some that they could have a woman to woman chat about how they are going to remove your bollocks."

Oliver shifted from foot to foot and could not bring himself to tell Bill the truth. Honestly he was not sure what Bill would do.

"I have done something so, so stupid."
Oliver said in a quiet voice.

"Oh you haven't gone and knocked her up again have you?" Bill looked at Oliver gauging his reaction, he could see he was on the right tracks.

"Oh Ols, she was terrible with the post natal depression the last time, do you think it is a good idea? Christ you are knocking them out like rabbits!"

Oliver took a deep breath in, closed his eyes, "Bill, I got my Registrar pregnant." Oliver was sure that he had more to add to the sentence, however his speech was caught short by Bills fist hitting him straight in the mouth.

Heather didn't think she could hug Fiona more. She wanted to hug the love in to her bones. She felt Fiona's sobs wrack her body so hard that it was like having a free session on a vibro plate. The loud commotion at the door made them both spring apart.

Dylan burst into the room shouting from the door "Mum! Mum! Muuuum!"

"What is it Dylan, what the hell has happened?"

"Mum!Auntie Fiona! You need to come now! Findlay has the little ones but they are really frightened mum."

Both Fiona and Heather stood and ran to the door with Dylan.

"Dylan you are scaring me, what is going on?" Fiona asked. Her stomach contents making their way to her mouth.

"Dad is trying to murder Uncle Oliver!" Dylan looked in utter despair at his mother and Fiona.

Heather sprinted across the road to find Bill sitting on top of Oliver punching and slapping him.

"Bill! Stop it now!" With the sound of Heather's voice it snapped Bill to his senses, he slid off of Oliver and sat on the grass panting at the exertion of the fight. Bill looked at Heather and started to sob.

"Bill," she said softly kissing his head as she bent to comfort him, "I have never been so proud of you in my life." Heather smiled. She stood over Oliver who was lying prone on the grass covering his face.

"As for you...." Heather took aim and kicked him as hard as she could between his legs, "you are a cunt."

Matilda and Henry ran to Fiona, gripping her. "Mummy," sobbed Matilda, " why would they hurt daddy? Why Mummy?"

Fiona took Henry on to her hip and cuddled Matilda into her leg, "They were protecting Mummy because Daddy had a very bad accident that meant Mummy got hurt. Uncle Bill and Auntie Heather got very very cross with Daddy and because they were so cross they both hit Daddy. They wanted Daddy to feel bad. Now we don't hit people do we?"

Both of the children shook their heads.

"That is right, so Uncle Bill and Auntie Heather are going to say sorry to Daddy for hitting him." Fiona motioned for them to say sorry.

"Sorry," they both said in unison, with as much enthusiasm as a six former at last period on a Friday.

"Will Daddy say sorry too Mummy?" Henry asked.

"Yes," replied Oliver, getting up from the ground, "I will be saying sorry for a very long time."

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