17 b The PRN




The Clapham Grand was filled to the rafters with a raucous drunken crowd awaiting Bucks Fizz to perform their greatest hits set. As Bucks Fizz took to the stage Fiona, Nikki and Lyn regaled the boys with their recollection and drunken demonstrations of dance routines and moves, much to their collective amusement.

As the group left the stage Nikki and Lyn went to the toilet, leaving Fiona propped up against a wall gaining her breath back. Fiona took a sip of her bottle of beer and looked up to see an extremely pretty, long haired blonde girl approach her.

Fiona smiled and the girl extended her hand for Fiona to shake. Fiona automatically shook her hand.

"Sorry, do I know you?" Fiona asked. The girl seemed to know her. Fiona went through her normal routine of working out how she knew someone. Either she had delivered their baby, they worked at the hospital or worse, one of the boys had knobbed the person and Fiona had waved them off at the door.

"No," the girl smiled, "I know you, we have someone in common."

"Interesting," Fiona laughed, "who?" There it was category three, one of the lads had knobbed her. Fiona took a breath in to ready herself for her role as scorned wife or girlfriend.

"David," the girl said, "I have a lot to thank you for."

"Really?" Fiona was now very concerned that this was one of the mad women who had left a message at Grove Road. She quickly looked around for an exit when the girl placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, I am David's PRN Jane, I would like to thank you for some of the best sex I have ever had!" Jane beamed at Fiona.

"Ehm, you are welcome?" Fiona swallowed hard not sure how to handle the conversation, "How did you know it was me?"

"David had a picture of you in his wallet and I had met the lads before so I put two and two together." Jane nudged Fiona.

"Oh," Fiona tried to sober up and think of something to say. What do you say to someone this pretty who had been getting it good before you from the man you were in love with.

"I see I have stumped you for words," she said kindly, "Look my fiancé was away in the Gulf, he is a pilot you see, he goes away for long periods which sort of leaves me on my own for long periods, that is when I hook up with David."

"Good to know." Fiona nodded desperately wracking her brain for conversation and coming up blank. This girl was so pretty. Nothing like the girls David had brought back to Grove Road. She was normal, nice and she couldn't help but like her.

Jane laughed, "He talked and talked about you and quite frankly I don't know why he went off with Suzie and took so long to get with you. However the frustration he felt, well let's just say I got the benefit of that."

"You are not what I expected." Fiona blurted out.

Jane smirked, "Did you think I was a mousy girl crying my eyes out about him?"

"No," Fiona tried to weigh her words carefully, "you are much lovelier than I thought, I am not sure why he wasn't with you permanently and why he chose me."

"Ah, well firstly thank you, secondly I am in love with my fiancé and thirdly he fell in love with you the first week you moved in. He knew he couldn't make a move too quickly as you were so broken hearted."

Fiona made to answer Jane however instead she burst into tears. Jane hugged her and smoothed her hair down.

"I am so sorry Fiona, I just wanted to say hello and I seem to have really upset you, I am so sorry!" Jane scoured the club for a familiar face to help her with Fiona.

Fiona sniffed and wiped her tears with the bottom of her blouse.

"I am sorry, I really miss him and I am trying to show it to this merciless lot and..."

"I know, let's get you to the toilet and we can find your friends." Jane led Fiona across the club to the toilets. To her luck Lyn and Nikki where in the massive queue.

"What the hell happened to you?" Lyn asked eyeing Jane suspiciously.

"This is Boston's PRN," Fiona sniffed, "She has just been saying such nice things and, well, oh shit, I need some more beer."

Lyn and Nikki looked at Jane accusingly.

"Honestly, I came over to say hello and I think I may have sent her over the edge." Jane admitted.

"No shit Sherlock!" Nikki took Fiona from Jane, "she has had a twelve-hour shift, not a lot to eat and a shed load of drink, bad combo really."

Lyn took Fiona by the shoulders."Do you want to go home?"

"Nope," Fiona slurred, "I want to dance, drink more and slip into unconsciousness."

"Good woman let's go!" Nikki turned to Jane, "Thanks for bringing her in here, we can handle it from now."

"Sure, sorry again. I really didn't mean it, I was trying to pay her a compliment." Jane hugged Fiona.

When the queue moved Fiona glimpsed at herself in the mirror and let out a howl. "Good god! I look like Gene Simmons from Kiss." The tears had made Fiona's mascara run down her face. She looked half melted.

"Here!" Nikki gave Fiona some toilet paper and she made some running repairs on her make up.

"Let's get wankered!" Lyn shouted and dragged them both from the toilet to the bar. Hoping that more alcohol and music would lighten up the night.

Two hours of dancing, eight kebabs and two cabs later, the group were all sat in the front room at Grove Road demolishing their takeaways and finishing whatever alcohol was available to hand.

Fiona started to fall asleep on the couch.

"You should call David, have some phone sex!" Nikki shoved Fiona to stir her awake.

"Dunno what time is it?" Fiona sat up sending partially eaten kebab across the floor.

"Two in the morning, which means what his time?" Lyn replied washing her take away down with some Irn Bru.

"Oh bollocks, I can never work it out, Emms has one of those watches that work it out!"

"Its eight pm love, on a Saturday Night, which means he will be out at the pub." Emms sighed.

"Do they have pubs in Boston?" Nikki said sarcastically.

"We know our boy, he'll have found some of his old mates to go out with, won't he? "Bill ruffled Fiona's hair.

"Yeah, but I will bet he didn't get to dance to 'The land of make believe' like we did tonight."
Nikki laughed.

"Or run into Fiona's PRN, like she did." Lyn pointed to Fiona.

"FUCK, she met the PRN?" Bill looked at the girls, "how did that go?"

"She's bloody lovely," Fiona slurred, "I thought she was lovely."

Fiona fell back against the cushion and promptly passed out. She was having a lovely dream about being on a picnic with David when the phone ringing woke her up with a start. She found that she was fully clothed, with the remains of her kebab in her hand and a force ten hangover.

David was glad when Bill answered the phone at Grove Road, in fact, he had never been so happy to hear Bill in his life.

"Bill, I need your help." David confessed.

"In what way mate?" Bill had just returned from a 5k run and was gulping down a pint of water, he only answered the phone as he was due to receive a call from Heather.

"I don't know how to say this mate so I am just going to let it out. I didn't mean this to happen I really didn't. I thought just come out here for six months come back and pick up with Fiona after all it took us a while to get our act together didn't it?"

"Uh huh, too long you daft prick, your timing has always been shite mate I think I know where this is going and I am not sure I am the one to help though." Bill shifted his stance and moved away from the living room door. He had a horrible gut feeling that David was about to tell him that he had met someone else.

David took a deep breath and continued. "I met up with Grace. You know the girl I dated at uni?"

"How did you manage that?" Bill began to focus more on lowering his voice, which was difficult as he had not fully gained his breath back from his run.

"She is in Boston for some sort of banking deal. I met her at a benefit for the hospital. I could not believe it was her. Anyway, we spent all night talking and then we met up the next day and well...."

"You shagged her didn't you?" Bill's tone was flat. His voice was as low as he could keep it.

"I honestly did not mean for it to happen. You know Grace is amazing and ....."

Bill didn't hear the rest. He felt a tap on his shoulder which made him turn around.

Having pieced together the conversation Fiona stood in the hallway, with her hand out for the receiver.

"Fiona has just walked in mate perhaps you should talk to her." Bill managed to say. He gave Fiona a strained smile and handed over the phone. Fiona watched as Bill marched upstairs and slammed his bedroom door.

"Hey you." she said quietly as she slumped against the wall. Fiona had heard enough from Bill's side of the conversation. He had slept with someone else. Along with the stabbing pain in her head, he had a sharp ache in her heart and guts.

"How much of that did you hear..." David said softly. He hated himself as much as he ever had in his life. Hearing her voice was like having a can opener taken to his chest.

"Enough." Fiona a gathered herself, "David you are seeing someone else." She said softly trying to hide the emotion rising from her voice.

" I..I didn't mean this to happen Fiona," he began, not sure how to explain the course of events over the last couple of days.

"I know you didn't David. I had a premonition this would happen." her voice was flat hiding all emotion as her stomach dropped at his words. She stifled a sob with her sleeve. She was determined that he didn't know her pain.

David let out a long sigh. "I don't want to lose you as my friend or mess up.."

"I am glad that you where honest with me David I really am." She spoke slowly and deliberately, "That is what I would have wanted from you at the very least. I think we should end the call and perhaps you shouldn't call for a while, at least not to speak to me..." her voice began to crack.

"Oh Fiona, I never wanted to hurt you." David winced as his words left him. He didn't. He was very confused.

"Oh David!" she sighed her voice betraying her emotions,"It was always going to happen wasn't it? This was never going to end well for us both. Look," she took a breath and calmed herself," in a while I will be able to be happy for you and whoever you are with just not right now."

" I love....." he started the sentence however he was abruptly cut off.

"Stop David! Please don't say things you don't mean!"She put the receiver down and slid down the wall. Fiona covered her hands over her face and sobbed.

Bill stood over her, he grabbed her and raised her to her feet. He gave her a bear hug and kissed the top of her head.

"He is a fucking idiot. Go to bed I will bring you tea and toast and I will call Heather for you to talk to."

Fiona walked upstairs like a zombie, stopping to throw up in the first landing bombsite that was the boy's bathroom.

Poor Fiona!

Did you know that David would cheat on her so quickly?


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