Christmas Day

David woke up and stretched across the bed to find Suzie for a Christmas cuddle. He felt the bed cold next to him and he let out a sigh. She was probably out for a run ahead of driving to the Cotswolds to spend Christmas Day with her parents.

He knew Suzie was looking for an engagement ring for Christmas. He could tell from her not so subtle hints. Dragging him to look in jewellers windows, leaving magazines open at pages with engagement rings. Perhaps the most direct, was showing him all her friends' engagement rings at the endless dinner parties he attended.

Last night,Christmas Eve, he spent at Suzie's best friend Emma's house, where the women talked endlessly about upcoming Weddings and the men did their best to avoid the subject entirely. At midnight they had gone to Mass and then home to open their presents. Suzie had bought him a set of platinum cufflinks from Theo Fennell and he bought her a diamond necklace.

Suzie's face lit up when she saw a Tiffany's box. However, she regained her composure when she discovered a necklace instead of a ring. David loved his cufflinks and decided to buy shirts that he could use them with. They made love. Afterwards, Suzie lay with her head on David's chest running her fingers through his chest hair.

"David, do you think we will ever get married?" she asked directly.

"Why babe are you asking?" he laughed, trying to lighten what he knew would be an intense discussion.

"No," she said firmly, "I am never going to ask you or any man I meet. That would be a terrible story for any child to hear about their parents don't you think?"

"Eh, well I never really gave it a lot of thought before..."

"Well, I think you should give it some thought David and I would like you to make your mind up by Easter." Suzie raised herself up on her elbow.

"Message received." David laughed and went  to kiss her. She placed her finger over his lips and stopped him.

"I am going home for Christmas and I will be spending time with two of my ex-boyfriends. Both who offered to marry me and none of which I did."

"Ok." David said slowly, measuring his words carefully, "Unfortunately I am working, so I can't be there to fend off potential suitors. I understand that you will not be waiting for me forever. Suzie, I am not the type of guy who would mess a woman around and I don't intend to with you." He placed his hand on the back of her neck and drew him to her. They kissed and made love a second time before they both fell asleep.

David stirred with his alarm and called out her name, with no response forthcoming he went to the bathroom to run a shower. He had to be at work in thirty minutes, which gave him five minutes for a shower and shave before taking his motorcycle from Shepherds Bush to Chelsea which in today's traffic would be less than fifteen minutes. David ran downstairs to find the house empty and a note from Suzie pinned to the kettle.

Got up, couldn't sleep, you could though. Didn't want to wake you. Merry Christmas, gone to Mummy and Daddy's see you on the 27th S x

David shook his head. Suzie, the least gushing woman he had ever been with. He found that strangely a turn on. He got ready and made for the Hospital.

When he got there he found A&E completely empty. The  waiting room had even got Christmas Crackers still unopened. The regular homeless people were placed in the beds to make sure they got a Christmas Dinner. He walked into the staff room and found everyone watching TV.

"The London News Crews are upstairs with the Christmas Babies." Bill pointed out, "Fiona has been on already and they are cutting back to her about 9 when the Salvation Army is in and Father Christmas is giving out the pressies."

"Cool, how was night shift?" David tried to tear himself away from the TV and focus on work.

"Drunks, drunks, drunks who fell and two false coronaries from people not wanting to spend Christmas with the relatives." Bill stretched and yawned, "Now I am going over there," he pointed towards Grove Road, "then I am getting on a plane to Dublin to see my mammy at lunchtime, what about you?"

"Shift finishes at 7 pm and then I am going back to Suzie's to sleep. Shift on Boxing Day and then meeting up with Suzie on the 27th."

"Cool, I will be back on the 2nd, we need to meet up to sort out the five nations."Bill got out of the chair and trudged off down the corridor, "Merry Christmas Boston."

The hours passed slowly until 6 pm when suddenly an ambulance pulled up at A&E doors and the Paramedics rushed a heavily pregnant woman in through the doors on a trolley.

"Woman with twins thirty-five weeks and I think one of them is in a breech position and she wants to push!" shouted the Paramedic on the way through the doors.

"Call Labour Ward NOW!" David shouted, "Neonates on standby!" David smiled and took the hand of the woman in labour, he grabbed the Paramedic notes. "Hi Mrs Taylor, I am Dr Williams and I am going to.."

The woman let out an almighty scream and squeezed David's hand, it took all of his self-control not to scream himself.

The father to be was running behind the trolley, throwing up in a sick bowl.

"Sweetheart I am here." the man managed to say between bouts of vomiting.

The Paramedics and the rest of the A&E team took the parents to be into one of their large rooms. Just as Mrs Taylor was about to have another contraction Fiona appeared in the room. David looked at her for help.

"Hi Mrs Taylor, I am Fiona the midwife, I am going to help you get these babies out. Now if I can ask you after this contraction to let go of this nice doctor. Then I am going to replace him with some even nicer Entonox which will help with the pain. Once I have done that I am going to have a listen in to make sure those babies are ok."

Fiona motioned for David to stand aside. She gave Mrs Taylor the Entonox mouthpiece and showed her how to use it. She made sure the babies' heartbeats were ok.

"Mrs Taylor, this baby looks like it is ready to come. Next contraction, we can have a small push if you can manage. Your husband is here, this nice doctor will help me and there are the baby doctors here to help them if they need it. So let's go."

Mrs Taylor nodded her agreement. David took Mr Taylor to the top of the bed and made sure he was the recipient of Mrs Taylor's hand squeezes.

After twenty minutes, both babies were safely in their parents' arms and Fiona was sat in the A&E staffroom completing her paperwork.

"Hey I have a nice cup of tea, for the nice midwife from the nice doctor" David sat the tea in front of Fiona.

"Are you allowed under the Suzie agreement to a. deliver babies with me b. give cups of tea and c. be left alone with me?"

"Oh come on Merry Christmas, good will to all men and all that."

"Bah humbug, I have delivered five babies today I am totally whacked out and this is the first fluids I have had to my lips all day" Fiona grumbled.

"My head hurts with the smutty remarks I can make." he laughed, "Man that was impressive, that poor woman really responded to you."

"It's my job David, I do that every single work day you know."

"Yes, yes I do, but you have to admit twins on Christmas Day is good going." David smiled. Fiona looked great. Despite a lot of human fluids all over her scrubs, she looked irresistible.

"Yes, I will, good assisted delivery student midwife Williams." Fiona regarded David out of the corner of her eye. He got better looking every day. Damn him to hell.

"Ooh, do I get a shiny star and a smiley face??" David teased.

"You do, oh I am off duty in five, I am starving and I could murder a pint," Fiona said to herself.

"Me too, let's go to Vingt Quatre and grab something."

"You allowed?" she arched her eyebrow, "Is there a temporary shift in the David can't speak to Fiona or David gets dumped rule?"

"Don't care, it's Christmas, she is with her parents and I am here on my own, let's go."

They walked arm in arm to the twenty-four-hour restaurant on the Fulham Road. Once inside they were ushered to a small table for two at the back. The waiter gave them both a Bucks Fizz and they ordered a Christmas Dinner with the trimmings.

"You not with the moody missus tonight?" the waiter inquired to David. Fiona nearly choked on her Bucks Fizz.

"Moody Missus is at home with her equally moody family, however, I am here with my lovely friend Fiona."

"Ah, she is a lot of the boys round here's friend." the waiter said flatly. David then tried not to choke on his drink.

"I think you should qualify that statement with I am here with my housemates a lot." Fiona blushed. The waiter raised his eyebrow and attended to the next table.

"I don't think English is his first language." David laughed and raised his glass to Fiona's.

"We will stick with that shall we?" Fiona clinked her glass off of David's.

"I am famished, you know for a quiet day in A&E I sure had a lot to do. You on the other hand, five babies and a TV appearance – big day." David downed his glass.

"I have not stopped, those TV people are a right bunch of arseholes, and one of them pinched my arse, no joke!" Fiona looked embarrassed.

"Did you give them a bit of the Scottish Marshall Arts of Fuck You!"

"I swear I spun on my heel and had him by the throat in point five of a second, he shat himself. I think he had a bit too much Christmas spirit, of which I am going to get full of. Francois repete s'il vous plait". The waiter brought them over another two glasses.

"So Santa good to you?" David smiled at Fiona, the Bucks Fizz making him feel warm and fuzzy. She made him feel warm and fuzzy too.

"So so. I got a lot of nice body and bath stuff from the lads, no doubt bought by their PAs. That means they will all be using it in their baths. Honestly, I go through gallons of the stuff. Dan is the worst. He reeks of Molton Brown grapefruit and chilli bubble bath. Then I got a framed picture of us all at Thanksgiving from Heather. You?"

"My mom went totally mad as usual. I got new Boston Celtics Cap and shirt, a Red Sox Cap and some money."

"What about Moody Missus?" Fiona felt her face redden at the mention of Suzie.

"Ah, she bought me cufflinks."  David said with a straight face.

That statement sent Fiona into peels of laughter.

"She is aware that you don't possess any shirts that require them?" Fiona wondered if he was still showering with his shirts or had Suzie managed to domestic him.

"Nope but I will have to now that she has bought me them!" he smiled, he took her hand across the table, Francois brought their Christmas Dinner and they both tucked in. "I am glad we are doing this, I would hate for you to have been all alone here." David said between mouthfuls.

"You would have been alone as well." Fiona smiled warmly. The Bucks Fizz making her feel relaxed.

"True, I would and isn't that shit! Let's get trollied together tonight." David loved getting smashed with Fiona. She made him laugh.

"Well, I have six bottles of champagne in the fridge and a huge box of Godiva Chocolates which I was given last week for delivering a baby. I also have the remains of the Christmas Cake I made for the lads."

David pointed at her with a fork, "You made Christmas Cake!"

"Yes," she pointed back with her knife, "we haven't been wearing sackcloth and ashes, eating bread and water waiting for your return you know."'she swallowed her mouthful of turkey, "We had Christmas on the 22nd, Christmas Dinner and presents and everything."

"You haven't got a tree have you?" his eyes widening in astonishment.

"David, we all made decorations, the lads made them out of Razz Mags and Sunday Times Supplements, really interesting combination but somehow it works."

"This I have to see!" David had never seen Grove Road decorated for Christmas.

"Is that really overstepping the mark for Moody Missus?" Fiona now had a new descriptor for Suzie and she intended to wear out.

"What she doesn't know about can't hurt her. Besides, she is with two of her exes tonight and there are four spare beds at Grove Road and a couch, so how much of an issue can it be?" he laughed, "Let's finish up, Francois, here is money to cover the cheque and can I rely on your discretion with Moody Missus next time I am here?"

"Bien Sur." Francois smiled at David and swooped on the generous tip.

David and Fiona skipped back to the house which was pitch black save the twinkling of the Christmas Lights in the front room. As soon as they entered the house the blast of cold hit them both. David reached for the lights, which thankfully worked. Fiona dashed to the fuse cupboard and searched for the heating switch which she attempted to put on with no avail. David found a torch and went to look at the boiler.

"Well Ninj, sorry to say but I think the technical term is that the boiler is fucked."  David couldn't see a pilot light.

"Oh my God it's going to be minus three tonight and this place is like a fridge if the heating doesn't work."

"You still have the logs for the fire in the front room?" 

"David they are decorative!" Fiona groaned.

"Fiona so are icicles however if they form inside the house." he smirked.

"Smart arse! Yes, we have some in the fireplace and two baskets either side of the fire full, do you know how to get them lit?"

"Stand back and prepare to be amazed, now find me some newspaper and some wine corks" David moved to the fireplace and removed all of the logs. He took the newspapers Fiona found and twisted them into knots, then he carefully scattered the corks over the top. He lit the paper, blew and then added a small log until the fire caught.

Meantime Fiona found the remainder of the Christmas cheeses and brought in the champagne and two glasses. As David attended to the fire she brought the cushions from the chairs and set some blankets down next to them.

"Romantic huh?" David stood back and admired the fire and the spread that Fiona had created.

"Shame it's with each other." Fiona sighed, she stretched out on the rug enjoying the warmth of the fire, "When that thing goes out it will be Baltic in here before I get too wankered I need to go and find my skiing thermals cos I will need them in bed tonight. I suppose you are used to it, cuddling up next to Suzie."

"Oh!" David burst out laughing, "Alcohol acting like truth serum again?" he stretched out next to her sipping champagne, "She isn't that bad?"

"It must be like shagging Sherpa Tensing or climbing Everest naked. I should check you for frostbite. I bet it's practically Mediterranean in here for you." Fiona smirked, "Oh that's unfair, I have hit a nerve haven't I?"

"Just because she is jealous of you and she can't relate to you either doesn't mean you should retaliate," David said softly.

"Ugh, I hate it when you are all reasonable and in the right David," Fiona drained her glass, "I really do." she motioned for him to fill up her glass, "Now, I have a raft of Christmas Videos planned for tonight, I was going to watch 'It's a wonderful life'. Do you want to watch it?"

"It's my favourite! Tell you what, I will go into Bill's Room...."

"Good luck with that." Fiona knew it was an absolute tip. The cleaning ladies had all threatened to quit over the state of it.

"Indeed! I will find his skiing thermals and then we can snuggle for warmth watching this and getting shitfaced. Good plan?"

"Go fast because it is freezing in this house. I will get some hot water bottles for the beds too."

"Good thinking batman!" David laughed and set off on his quest in finding anything in Bill's room.

They both ran around the house on their respective quests and met back in the living room, dressed identically in the same leggings, socks and tops.

"You bought these for Bill?" David laughed.

"Nope. Innocent of all charges, Heather bought them the same time I bought these. No idea why. They are matching women's and men's but we look like we are being prepped for some sort of experiment."

"It's like Logan's Run." David agreed.

"I loved that show!" Fiona laughed, "Now floor, in front of the fire under blankets." They both dived under the covers and watched the video.

"Before I get too trollied. I have something for you."

David raised his eyebrow looked heavenward and whispered, "Thank you, God."

"Not that!" Fiona swatted him and made her way to the Christmas Tree. She brought back a small, package and gave it to him.

David looked at her quizzically. "Miss MacDonald you have me at a disadvantage. I didn't get you anything."

"Don't be daft it's just a little something. Make you feel festive, you paid for Christmas Dinner so we are even."

"Is it a festive willy warmer?" David hoped it was something to do with his nether regions.

"Nope. Open it." Fiona laughed at David. She wondered if he laughed as easily with Suzie. She had never even seen her smile. She wondered to herself if Suzie had paralysis of her facial muscles or worse. No sense of humour.

David tore at the paper and found a cassette on one side it had Tom Jones Christmas Album and on the other Fiona had put a Christmas mixtape together.

"Oh, Ninj.So thoughtful. Thank you." He cuddled her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Fiona filled both of their glasses and they drank until they both passed out cuddled up next to the fire. 

David woke, frozen and in agony from lying on the floor, he shook Fiona awake.

"Fiona babe, it's freezing I think we should go to bed to get warm, we should share as it is so cold." He genuinely meant it. He had once slept alone in the house when the heating wasn't working and he thought he might die.

She shivered in the cold and snuggled next to him, "Sure, we should go to my bed as it's the only one with guaranteed clean sheets and we can fill up the hot water bottles." She groaned as she got to her feet and took the hot water bottles for filling. David tidied up the front room and met her in her bedroom.

"Do you have a side of the bed?" she asked, "Left is mine."

"Right is mine." David nodded as though it was fated that they liked the other side of the bed to sleep on.

They got into the bed and spooned. He felt her body wrapped around him and her hand around his waist. He instantly felt the heat generated from her body and he listened intently to the sound of her breathing changing to signal her move into sleep. He was thankful that she was spooning him and he was not spooning her as his stonking erection would have betrayed his thoughts. He was blindsided by how much he enjoyed their evening together and wished that the day would not end.

In the morning, David woke to find Fiona fast asleep spooned next to him, his arm around her waist. He looked at her lying beside him. He knew he was still attracted to her but last night he fought his need to have her with his feelings for Suzie, he tried hard to rationalise his thoughts.

Looking at Fiona now, in her thermals and face scrubbed free of makeup she looked even younger and softer than normal. He watched the rise and fall of her chest as she slept and pulled her closer to him drinking in the feeling of her lying next to him. He was confused by his feelings for Suzie and his need to be with Fiona. He was lost in her scent and in this thoughts when Fiona's alarm clock rang.

"FUCK OFF!" she groaned and slapped the alarm clock to shut it off.

"OK then I will!" he felt her freeze next to him.

"Please tell me that is you Boston and not some random Yank I pulled last night..." Fiona's mind scrambled to put together how she was in bed with David. She opened her eyes and inwardly sighed when she confirmed that she was fully clothed.

David spoke gently in her ear, " Who else would it be?"

Fiona was convinced the message from her brain to her groin and nipples took less than a nanosecond to register. A surge of electricity soared around her senses and finally back to her brain and noted that she had fifteen minutes to get to work. She felt his hand move upwards on her stomach, as much as she wanted to turn around and break him in half with sexual longing, she had to go to work. She caught his hand and squeezed. She turned around to face him.

"Boston I have fifteen minutes to be on the ward. I am sorry but I need to go. You need to be in A&E half an hour later." she wriggled free of him and darted around the room gathering her things. "I need a shower and.."

 David leant himself on one elbow, "Go."he smiled.

Fiona showered, dressed and made work in record breaking time. David lay in her bed, lifted up the duvet and spoke to his very erect penis. "Buddy, you need to get back on the programme of Suzie only!" He stretched and made himself go to the shower ahead of his day in A&E.

Fiona's day passed in a blur aided by her force ten from Navarone hangover and the fact that every woman in West London had decided to go into labour. At eight she handed over and trudged back to Grove Road expecting it to be empty. When she got there the house was ablaze with lights and music.

She shouted over the top the Catatonia song on the stereo and a half sloshed David appeared at the kitchen door.

"We are having a PARTY!" He shouted over the music, Dan and Emlyn appeared behind him.

"NINJ!" shouted Dan, "I was so bloody bored at home that I came back this morning and found that David was here!"

"My dad and step mum bickered all day so I made up a client meeting, met with Dan and shared the journey back!" Emlyn jumped over to her and spun her round.

"Who else is here?" she laughed, "did someone fix the heating, its absolutely boiling in here."

"I did darling, well, I didn't but I called Jim the handy man and after me he fixed the boiler!" Jilly shrieked, "Sorry poppet but we have laid waste to your champers, went down rather well, still a bottle for you." she tapped the bottle in her hand and tapped her nose.

"I thought you were at some stately home or something?" Fiona laughed dumping her work bag in the hall and grabbing a glass from Jilly.

"Too boring, same drink, same drugs, same old men to shag. I thought bollocks to it and ordered a car to bring me back here. When I arrived the boys were just turning up and I thought why the hell not!"

Fiona walked into the kitchen and it was full of people she had never met but deduced quickly were either from the hospital or were neighbours. The party was in full swing and she was sure that she didn't have to worry about putting on weight from the Godiva chocolates as they were nearly all gone.

At midnight Fiona was so drunk that she was sitting on the front step smoking one of Emlyn's cigars with her head on Dan's shoulder, participating in a smoke ring blowing competition. David and Jilly were dancing widely in the Hall to The Specials Too Much to Young, when the next track started. As the first chords of Night Boat to Cairo was heard, drinks, cigars and people were put down as everyone ran into the front room to display their Rude Boy moves. Arms, legs, heads moved at a pace with everyone chanting the words at the top of their voices

Its just gone Noon
Half past monsoon
On the banks of the River Nile

Fiona saw the Irish girl Shannon that David had shagged, make a rugby tackle move for him and floor him on the rug, much to the roars of laughter from everyone else. David looked at Fiona and mouthed the words 'help' at her. She shook her head and continued to dancing. When the song stopped they all went into the kitchen to replenish their glasses.

"That is the best laugh ever!" Emlyn shouted, "You wait until one of us finds some Tom Jones and then you will see a spectacle!"

"I cannot wait young Emlyn, I may have some downstairs if you want to help me look." Jilly wiggled her eyebrows.

"Jilly, I would be honoured." Emlyn cried out, "Don't wait up kids." he spun Jilly round and waltzed her out of the door to her flat.

"FUCK!" Dan spun around to face Fiona, "Did you just see what I did?"

"I did." she laughed, "Though have you seen David trying to shake Shannon McShamrock from two doors down, she is hanging in there!"

"Oh she is totally CRAZY, you know our David likes them a bit nuts."

"Ah well he is a big lad." Fiona yawned and looked around at the chaos in the kitchen, "I am going to drunkenly attempt to clean up if you put on a bit of Sade. That will calm everyone down and make them go to bed one way or another."

"Good plan Ninj." Dan had bleeped Nikki to come to his bed after her night shift tonight. He would need some sleep if the promises Nikki had been making were to be believed.

Fiona and Dan attempted to clean up and by 1am everyone had left the house. Shannon was searching for David but to no avail. Fiona assured her that she had no idea where he was and finally kicked her out of the house. She made Dan and herself a cup of tea and trudged off to bed, banging off of every wall on her way up the winding stairs to bed.

Fiona put her tea down and threw off all of her clothes and stumbled around looking for a night shirt. She was sure she could hear a giggle from somewhere inside her room however her hearing was impaired by the stereo on full blast all night. She ran and splayed herself on her bed when she heard a loud "Ooph". She jumped up to find David fully clothed in her bed.

"David for fucks sake, what are you doing here?"

"Hiding from that mad woman." David drunkenly grinned at her. He was going two for two on nights in Fiona's bed.

Fiona narrowed her eyes, "Could you be more specific as you tend to attract a lot of them."

"Don't be a smartarse." David smacked her on the bottom.

"Under normal circumstances I would give you a good hour to stop that, but..." she stopped to burp, "this is not normal, David get out and go back to Icewoman."

"Ooh, harsh," he laughed and got out of her bed and walked to the door, "that striptease there is going straight into the Wank Bank."

"Bugger off David." she groaned, turned over a passed out.

David left her room knowing that the temporary ceasefire had expired. Tomorrow it would be back to reality and back to Suzie at her parent's home. All frivolity and fun would be dialled down.

Authors note

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The video is fab isn't it?