Hello everyone.

How are you all? This is (as you can tell by the title) Renegade part two.

This is set about three months after Renegade part two and basically Nightwing's been training with Slade (and his kids) for that time but this story starts on his first day of freedom from the deal. So angst, but also hurt/comfort I guess.

WARNING: Tarantula is mentioned. Not any details about what happened, but those that know will see what is implied.

So as usual I own nothing, apologise for accuracy mistakes, OCCness, grammar and spelling mistakes.

I hope you enjoy.

Robyn 

Seeing the outside world for the first time in three months made Nightwing stop to stare at the faint stars in the night sky and nearly invisible moon barely visible above the smoke and pollution of the city. He'd spent most of the three months inside, with only brief trips to meetings where he spent the whole time in a car. Standing on a rooftop in Bludhaven he celebrated the feeling of freedom for several moments before leaping away across the night, revelling in the rush of the wind in his hair and adrenalin in his veins as he flew through the sky where he felt most at home. It wasn't too late yet, he still had time to see what had been going down in his city in his absence, put some of his new skills and training into practise.

Slipping into his apartment after his first night back fighting crime he collapsed on his bed with a smile, one of the first to actually reach his eyes in quite some time. He knew he'd have to deal with the hero community and his family shortly, his return would no doubt be on the news and that would lead them back to him.

For now though, he was just going to enjoy the peace. Rolling off his creaky bed and strolling to his wardrobe to pull on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, throwing his Nightwing costume to the back in a pile to be dealt with properly later. He wandered to the kitchen with his mismatched sock covered feet barely leaving the ground, he opened a cupboard to find a box of cereal and a pack of cookies but other than that they were sorely lacking in food. Opening the fridge he found it contained some severely out of date milk (which instantly went down the drain) and eggs. It had been three months ad even before that he'd been so busy everywhere else he hadn't really been staying in his apartment much.

Shrugging he grabbed the box of cereal from the cupboard and grabbed a handful as he stumbled onto a chair in the tiny living room area attached to the kitchen, making a mental note to go shopping tomorrow. The old tv barely worked but he enjoyed the nonsense of whatever was on, as he shovelled dry cereal into his mouth, sitting cross legged on the chair. The normalcy was refreshing and he wanted to enjoy some time on his own before anything else.

He slipped into a light sleep barely an hour later with the box of cereal abandoned at the foot of the chair he was curled up on. He'd regret it in the morning, it wasn't a comfortable sleeping position and he wasn't getting any younger but for now everything was better. Not perfect, not good or even okay, just better.

It was in fact three days later when the first hero showed up at his door. It had taken them (far) longer than he had expected, and it wasn't the person or rather people he had expected to appear first. He hadn't done much in those three days apart from shopping and a visit to the BCPD to ask about applying for a job. He'd spent the days exploring the city and lounging around his tiny apartment enjoying the time to himself. He spent the nights getting back into the swing of fighting crime, putting all his training to good use as e tried to bring the rate of crime back under some semblance of control.

The door bell had rung in the early afternoon, and after spending a minute debating if he really wanted to (and, honestly, could be bothered to move from his comfortable spot) open the door he reluctantly trudged over and did so, schooling his face into a neutral look. He swung it open just as the people on the other side rung the bell for a second time. He took a moment to just stare at the unexpected faces, they did the same, inspecting him for what he didn't know (yes he did, injuries or the like but he didn't want to admit that).

The first people he thought would show up were either Bruce or his siblings, though he had known that the people standing at the door would show up sooner or later. He just hadn't expected them to be the first to visit. He wasn't quite prepared for them, all the speeches he'd practised in the (dirty and cracked) mirror were aimed at Bruce and his siblings.

"Are you going to let us in or are we going to just stand here forever?" Wally West asked with a shy smile gracing his face. Dick could read under the lines though, this was a peace offering. They just wanted to talk. They, being Wally and the two familiar faces beside him - Conner and Kaldur. Again, not the trio he had expected. If he was honest he would have thought that Wally and Artemis would come as a pair.

Opening the door wider he allowed them to move past him into his apartment. He took a glance outside to look for anyone watching, upon seeing nothing he shut the door almost silently. Walking to where his guests had settled in the cramped living room almost mechanically he crossed his arms and looked at the wooden floor. His apartment really hadn't been designed to host this many people. Silence blanketed the place, no one quite sure what to say or how to word it.

"So, this is awkward."

"What Wally is attempting and failing to put into words is we want to know why. And more details about, well just everything I guess. We know we haven't been the best with everything that has happened lately, but we're here now if that means anything at all." Conner explained from his place on the only sofa where the three sat squished together. It would normally be an entertaining sight, the three of them squashed together but the mood was too tense to properly enjoy it.

Dick collapsed onto the armchair facing the sofa like his legs could no longer hold his weight and suddenly floods of words poured out. Sometimes they made no sense and he paused at random moments attempting to gather his thoughts. The three boys just listened and smiled to encourage him when they though he needed it.

He told them more about his Titan years, how he'd met Slade and the fights and apprenticeships. He told them about returning and his brothers, the fights with Bruce and moving to Bludhaven. He told them about his struggles during the Invasion and the deal with Slade in return for his silence. He told them things he had never said out loud to anyone and at the end warm tears streamed down his face leaving red marks scarring his cheeks. It felt like a small weight had finally been removed from his heart, he was better, but there was still more weighing him down, but this was progress. When he finished they sat in silence for several minutes while they registered all that had been said.

Then the three witnesses moved forward slowly, as if afraid to spook the youngest, and drew him into a hug, a hug that said everything without words. A hug that provided warmth and comfort between the four brothers. It had been a long time since they had acted like the family they were, and they hadn't been there for each other in a long time and they all regretted that. There was nothing they could do about the past, all they could do was move forwards and try to breach the gap that had spread between them all.

"All those years ago, the three of us and Roy were told we would see the League's headquarters in preparation of becoming members of the Justice League but all they gave us was a glorified tour of their public headquarters used as a decoy for the Watch Tower. Roy walked out and then our mentors left us. We snuck out, disobeying orders and found Conner at Cadmus breaking him out and befriending him. We proved ourselves. We made a stand that night and formed a team, the team. We made promises as a team and as a family." Kaldur glanced at his three brothers who listened to every word before continuing, "lately we haven't followed those promises and it's about time that changed. We trust each other and are here for each other no matter what."

The three stayed for the rest of the afternoon, watching old movies and talking of the past. Voicing things they should have said years ago, jumping between long periods of comfortable silence and endless rants of words. They were a family and it was time they started acting like one. When the three boys, now men, finally left late that evening, Nightwing went on patrol with a genuine smile splitting his face.

When no one else had shown up four days later, he decided to stop hiding or as he had taken to calling it; mentally preparing himself and getting himself back into a normal routine (though he was still lying to himself). He knew he would never be ready and he just needed to take that leap or he would never do it, widening the pit of darkness and suppressed emotions that was threatening to swallow him whole.

The decision on who to visit first was hard. Should he go see the Titans (because they definitely needed an explanation), the team (again really need an explanation) or his family that had affectionately been dubbed the Bat Family? He didn't want to know how his siblings would react, let alone Bruce. Not that half of them could talk, half of them were former assassins or currently anti heroes.

After spending a day debating (which included sitting and lying in various and often odd positions around his apartment) he decided on his family first. Get the most painful one out the way first (and he meant physically painful not mental knowing his brothers). After that he'd deal with both teams, when he knew what to say to them.

The next day he started on his 'explanation list' as he had started to call it. Staring up at Wayne manor from behind the gate for the first time in three months stirred a daunting feeling in the pit of his stomach and he resisted the rather compelling urge to turn around and not deal with the chaos he knew his return would inevitably cause.

Taking a deep breath he steeled his nerves. He went up to the com next to the gate pressing the button with shaky hands he heard a familiar voice answer.

"Yes?" Hearing Alfred's voice was like being dunked in an ocean of nostalgia and he couldn't help the small smile light up his face.

"Hey Alfie. It's me, em, Dick. I wanted to talk and em explain-."

His rambling was cut off by the com going silent and the gate opening allowing him to enter. Slipping past the gate he marched up the driveway determinedly, knowing if he looked back at the closing gate he'd loose all the confidence he had gathered. No backing out now.

The door to his old home swung open and he was engulfed in a hug as soon as he stepped into the grand entrance hall. In his surprised it took him a few seconds before he hugged back, glad to be in the familiar arms of his grandfather figure. He'd always been a touchy-feely kind of person, probably from growing up in a circus where he was just passed around and constantly in contact with people, the transition to the large and rather empty manor had been a shock to his system. Neither Alfred or Bruce had been exactly been touchy-feely like he had and it had taken a while for them to all adjust. Still there was little better than Alfred's rare hugs.

"It is great to hear your voice again Master Richard. I'm glad you've finally come home." And didn't that make him want to cry.

Dick was released from his hug and given a quick glance over before he was shepherded into the main room to wait while Alfred collected the rest of the family who had been staying in the mansion for the time being. It wasn't often that everyone was around these days, all busy with their own stuff but he knew going to the manor was the best place to start. He'd figured he'd deal with anyone who wasn't there later but clearly that wasn't going to be an issue.

He stood in the main room one hand rubbing the opposite arm as he shifted legs awkwardly, impatient for this to all be over. He allowed his mind to wander on what they would all think of him, running off with a villain for three months. Although, to be fair to himself (for once) it wasn't as bad as some of the stuff his siblings had done - one of which had died and came back slightly more psychotic, and two who were raised as assassins. Not that he blamed any of them, it hadn't been their choice in upbringing or choice to die.

He was broken out of his wandering thoughts when he heard the thunder of footsteps coming down the stairs and chatter coming from a few rooms over. Then the arguing came into hearing range, a small grin found its way onto his face as the nostalgia came over him, his brothers were always arguing and occasionally brought his sisters into it as well. The topics were always inane, completely pointless but that was normal with siblings.

As he stood facing a window opposite the door, taking in the details to distract himself from the upcoming confrontation, he heard a familiar voice. "Tt, why does Pennyworth even want us all in the main room anyway?" The grin widened at the familiar superior voice made its way along the corridor to him.

He hadn't realised how close the voices had gotten, still focused on the window, until he heard the gasps and sudden halt in conversation that signalled they had noticed his presence. The smile was wiped off his face in an instant as he whipped around to face his sisters, who had appeared at the door first. His brothers swiftly joined them looking to see what had surprised them and joined them in just staring at him. Bruce appeared last with Alfred, who smiled at Dick reassuringly, before leaving the rest of the family to get reacquainted. Dick wasn't stupid, while Alfred may have disappeared from sight he was absolutely still in hearing distance, ready to intervene if things got out of control.

The shocked faces staring a him would have been comedic if not for the suffocating silence that accompanied them. The visible shock was impressive, he knew his appearance had really shocked them to the core as normally they were all far better at controlling the emotions they displayed. It had been one of the first things they were all taught - how to school your face to hide your true emotions.

Feeling incredibly awkward he shuffled from foot to foot, before giving an awkward smile and a little wave muttering a 'hi'. Feeling a bit stupid he let his arms fall down to his side and his gaze followed. He was waiting for the shouting, screaming and the threats, maybe even some punches from his siblings. They were usually quick to fall to violence with each other.

He was surprised to suddenly be enclosed in Bruce's giant arms instead of being hit. He tensed before relaxing into the comforting familiarity of his father figure's embrace. He watched with confused eyes as his siblings followed their father and surged closer but didn't join the hug. The pair pulled out of the hug and Bruce held his eldest son at arms length smiling.

"How about we all sit down to have this conversation." Bruce may have phased it as a question but it was clear that it was a command. Glancing at each other they all shuffled into the family lounge before settling down onto various chairs and sofas around the room. Dick settled in armchair but remained tense with his fingers tapping against the arm.

"Emm, how about - emm. I don't know how to explain anything. Maybe? Ermm." Stopping he took a breath and tried again. "How about you ask questions and I'll do my best to explain whatever you want to know. I really don't know how to explain or where to start."

The Bats all glanced around as if to see who would ask the first question. "Why did you go with Deathstroke?" Surprisingly it was Tim who asked the question staring at his eldest brother with unusually hard eyes.

"Well certainly going straight to the hard stuff, huh?" Dick attempted to joke before seeing the glares he was getting, sighing he continued. "I'm sorry you guys deserve answers. Back when I was a Titan this new villain showed up, he attacked randomly but strategically. He was skilled in a way we weren't used to. We found out his name was Slade but you know him better as Deathstroke. One day he kidnapped me then injected my teammates with these nanobots things that would kill them if I disobeyed. Apparently his attacks had been a test, he wanted an apprentice and he had decided I was the perfect candidate." He gave a self-depreciating snort.

He paused to take a breath not meeting the intense eyes of his family, "We managed to fight and free ourselves from his control but I became obsessed. He attacked again and there was this whole thing with Terra, but anyway. After I left the Titans he found me a few times and we came to a mutual agreement, he could train me but he wouldn't make me kill or steal."

He smiled slightly. "When Kaldur went undercover and reported seeing Deathstroke I panicked slightly before realising he would have no way of knowing Kaldur hadn't truly swapped sides. Then Artemis went under and he recognised her. He quickly figured out what had happened, so he found me and offered a deal. He wouldn't reveal them and later allow Kaldur to beat him in a fight so M'gann could take his place in the Summit. In return I would go with him for three months, complete some training away from you all. The usual deal. I thought after the invasion no one would notice me disappear at least for a while and agreed. That's what you caught us doing that night on the rooftop anyway, I was about to leave with him."

He finished his story and waited for a reaction, refusing to look up and face his family.

"Why did you think we wouldn't notice your disappearance?" It was Barbara who asked drawing his eyes to her questioning but ultimately sympathetic eyes. Glancing around he saw similar looks mirrored in the eyes of the rest of his family as well as some other emotions like sadness and anger - at who he didn't know but he hoped it wasn't him. They understood his reasons, didn't mean they had to like them, but they understood them, plus he was an adult now. He could make his own life choices no matter how terrible they were.

"I just kind of assumed. After all, the team was so angry about everything from the invasion and I thought you would all be so happy to have Bruce back that you wouldn't notice me not being here. I figured Damian, Tim, Steph and Cass, especially would be glad to be out of my care." Dick shrugged, a self-depreciating smile on his face. He hadn't really thought on it much, in his mind he hadn't needed to, he just thought they wouldn't notice. He would have disappeared back to Bludhaven and it wasn't often his siblings came up to visit him normally, and they would have Bruce back, why would they want to spend time with him so soon after being under his care? Plus, he'd taken a break from the team so they wouldn't expect him to be around. It would have been easy.

"Of course we would notice your disappearance. Besides you were a great guardian, you took care of us and loved us." Steph announced while Cass and Tim nodded. The three looked at Damian until the younger boy nodded and mumbled a 'it wasn't the worst' which was glowing praise in the boy's own way. "You're a great brother as well Dick, don't doubt yourself, we'll always notice."

The questions continued afterwards but answers came easier with the worst done. He stayed the rest of the day and even got them all to have a movie night with him, an event that normally took about a week of annoying them into it. He smiled as he watched them fall asleep one by one, this was his family and he loved them.

He knew in the morning he would have to leave and face the teams but for now he was warm and happy. One set of explanations completed.

The next morning came too soon in Dick's mind. He left with plans to head back to Bludhaven to get changed into his Nightwing costume and visit the teams. Starting with Young Justice as some of the old Titans were among them.

He left at the same time as Jason (who apparently had only been staying for a few days as he had grudgingly teamed up to beat a newer villain that was attacking street kids). He'd had to promise to return soon various times under serval degrees of different threat levels ranging from death to pranks to (which he thought was the worst) no more of Alfred's cookies. It was almost achingly familiar.

When he was finally in costume, he made his way to the zeta-beams. It was already late morning as he hadn't exactly been rushing, in fact the opposite was true, he'd been purposely delaying it. Taking a deep breath he stepped into the abandoned phone box and made his way to the Watch Tower. He needed to do this, he told himself on repeat. It didn't help much.

The team (bar Robin and Batgirl) were sparring under the careful watch of the original team when the zeta-beam announced the arrival of Nightwing. Everyone stopped what they were doing out of shock, which led to a few hits on unsuspecting teammates that they hadn't managed to block/stop in time due to their surprise. It had been three months since the disastrous night on the rooftop where Nightwing had almost been killed and then taken by Deathstroke. They hadn't been able to find Nightwing no matter how much they had looked, and after three months of nothing, they hadn't exactly been hopeful.

The younger members paused to look at the original team for permission and they quickly received nods for an answer before the team, both old and new raced to the entrance hall to meet the formerly missing hero. Superboy, Aqualad and Kid Flash exchanged looks and followed the rets of the team at a much slower, controlled pace.

Skidding to a halt in the entrance hall they faced the eldest son of the Bat, who just smiled sadly at the group as he stood in the hall. Mentally Nightwing chuckled, it seemed wherever he went the past few days brought awkward silences. "I came to explain things to you as I thought you deserved some sort of answer." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"You think!?" Lagoon Boy muttered but he didn't seem as angry as usual and offered an uneasy smile at Nightwing. Clearly he'd had time to think and forgive. The betrayal that had clouded his thoughts seemed to have cleared. They'd all had a long discussion as a team and individual therapy sessions with Black Canary which had helped sort their thoughts and feelings out.

Beast Boy surged forward and surprised Nightwing by giving him a suffocating hug. "I'm glad you're back. Slade didn't hurt you did he? If he did then-." The green boy drew back and scanned his friend and older brother figure for injuries. He would never be able to forget the first apprenticeship where Slade had beaten Nightwing, then Robin, back and blue. It was definitely an image and thought that had haunted his nightmares for the past three months.

Nightwing crouched down so he was on the same level as the young hero. "I'm fine, I promise. You know what Slade is like, he's obsessed with me but won't harm me unless in training or I disobey anymore. He hasn't been as hard on me since I grew up, left the Titans and let go of my own obsession. Besides Ravager and Jericho were there to keep him in check." He smiled at the hero before standing up and facing the rest of the team.

"I went with Deathstroke as part of a deal so he would not reveal Aqualad and Artemis's/Tigress's true alliance ,and allow Miss Martian to take his place in the Summit." Nightwing explained matter-of fact, taking a deep breath he waited for the comments.

"We understand, 'Wing. At the time maybe we didn't, but these last three months have given us time to think and talk. We were wrong to blame you for the invasion, you did the best you could, better than many of us could have done." Guardian glanced to his fellow teammates as they nodded, reassuring Nightwing that they agreed with what Guardian was saying.

"Yeah, we know you were dealing with a lot of stuff and we didn't help. Clearly your plan and Impulses' interference meant the future didn't end up like the one Impulse came from. We had no right to treat you like that, we're sorry." Wonder Girl offered a sincere but sheepish smile, as she continued Guardian's explanation. It had been a long but needed three months.

"Thank you." Nightwing was left slightly speechless at his friend's words. He really hadn't been expecting so calm a reaction.

"I think my friend." Aqualad stepped forward from behind the younger heroes smiling. "That maybe your leave of absence is over?" Despite the question, Aqualad's tone made it clear he already knew the answer.

At his nod, Superboy took over "In that case would you like to re-join the team. I'm sure we could all do with a different style of fighting to practise against."

"Of course the only reason you want me back is for my fighting Supes." Nightwing joked chuckling. "I'd love to join but at the minute I have one last group of people that I really think I should visit to explain myself to first."

"If you're going to see the Titans, I'll come. Maybe it will help if you to have some support." Beast Boy shifted into a falcon before flying over and settling on Nightwing's shoulder, turning into a cat and lounging around his neck, purring reassuringly.

"I'm sure I won't need it ,but I always appreciate your support BB. In which case we best be going if I want to see them today." With that he waved goodbye and re-entered the Zeta-tubes. One last group to explain himself too.

"Why does this feel like it may be the hardest to face?" Nightwing sighed as he stood just outside of the Zeta-tubes in Titans Tower. He'd added the zeta-beam here after going back to Young Justice, to make it easier for them to get around and him to visit if they needed help.

"Because they know about Slade?" Beast Boy, who had changed back into his normal human-ish shape, answered for him.

"I wasn't really looking for an answer but if I was, that would be a good one." Nightwing chuckled at the younger boy. He'd missed spending time with him.

"Well, well look who it is. Finally care to come explain yourself?" Cyborg had snuck up in front of the pair with Starfire and Raven at his side. They'd heard the zeta-beam activate and some to see the pair. Sheepishly Nightwing smiled at the three, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hi guys, em yeah. I thought you deserved to know about what happened three months ago."

"Come on then. If we're going to have this conversation we may as well be comfortable." Raven sighed and the five old teammates and friends settled in the main room, lounging around in the chairs.

"Well, it started-." And for the fourth time in a week Nightwing poured out his heart to his old teammates and dear friends. He retold them everything from the start of the invasion to their last meeting before the disaster with Slade/Deathstroke.

The explanation and following questions lasted the rest of the afternoon. With a final goodbye and promise to visit and stay in communication Nightwing took Beast Boy back to the Watch Tower before returning to Bludhaven for patrol.

He revelled in the cool air of the late night, the moon shining past the dark clouds and fog. He flipped between buildings in search of criminals, enjoying the feeling of running free. The day had certainly been difficult but he had needed to clear the air. He was glad he hadn't been killed (which may seem extreme but you never know with his family) and finally explained himself. Though he hadn't explained everything to anyone. He'd left out some parts, things he wasn't ready to tell anyone. Some things were better of as secrets.

He hadn't told any of them about Blockbuster or. . . Tarantula. Squeezing his eyes shut he took a deep breath and paused on a rooftop. He couldn't deal with what had happened, just like he couldn't tell anyone. They may have forgiven him for this but they wouldn't for that. He had yet to forgive himself. No, they couldn't know. And he really needed to forget Tarantula and what she had done.

He forced himself to move on to better thoughts, memories of the old days with the team and even before with the League. Days where he had less responsibilities and duties weighing him down, when he could be a kid and play around. The old days full of pranks. Oh, and the trolling. He hadn't cackled like he used to in so long. He didn't even think Damian had ever heard it. He sighed (wow, he was doing that a lot) he wished he had never had to grow up, though didn't so many?

Grinning as he resumed flipping across the rooftops his thoughts moving back on the past few days, it was good to see them all again and he couldn't wait to fight with the teams again, after all he had a feeling something big was coming. Something they may not be able to beat so easily. For now though he'd enjoy the air and rush of takin down criminals. He flew through the night, free.

And done.

Yeah no idea what happened with that chapter, but I hoped you enjoy despite the lack of action.

Thank you for everything, to all still reading by the way, I mean fifty chapters, that's crazy. I never thought I'd reach that many but it's pretty awesome. You guys are awesome.

Thank you.

Hope you enjoyed.

Robyn out.