London Ellis had only ever been in love or thought she had, twice in her seventeen years of existence. The first time she was six but that ended after a callous comment she wasn't meant to hear about her weight in during a game of kickball. The other was less than a month later when the moving vans pulled up at the cottage next door.

She remembered watching from her second story window, a boy running out of view as his parents pulled into the driveway. Her mother talking to his, fussing over the beautiful little girl that clung so tightly to her own mother's shirt.

London had lost track of the boy until a face popped up in front of her window, a Cheshire cat smile filling his face as he tapped on the glass. The memory, stung at her chest as she looked out to see the tree, it's branches that Cam had broken when he got older and still attempted to perform his six-year-old tricks. She sighed and pulled the blankets over her head.

Her father knocked at the door, London reluctantly heaved herself of the bed.

"Honey, do you need a ride?" No, I really want to just stay in bed and pretend everything was the same as it was the summer of first grade.

"No." She called wearily, "Sophie's picking me up."

London was still embarrassingly on her learner's permit; she hadn't driven a car in over a year and a half. Cam used to be her convenient chauffer since he was right next-door. Sophie had offered to take his place on the way home from Henry's beach house.

As promised the blue Hyundai pulled into the driveway a little past seven, Sophie tossed her clarinet case to the back. Kevin, Sophie's younger brother caught it with a painful grunt and threw it to the floor only to earn a glare from his sister.

"Mornin' Kev." London waved as she jumped in the front seat breaking the tension between the two siblings.

"London, you look nice today." She smiled at him through the rear view mirror as Sophie pulled out of the driveway.

"How many times do I have to tell you, my friends are off limits?" Sophie spoke through gritted teeth. "Ignore him, I swear my parents only bought me this car so I can be their personal errand girl."

"I'm sorry about Cam." Kevin spoke from the back seat, Sophie shot him a look in the rear view mirror but London turned to him and smiled.

"Thanks Kev." The car fell into a silence and Sophie silently cursed her brother for bringing up the awkward topic.

"Anyway..." Sophie started impatient to wait the silence out, "Ian's emailing us the list. Are you excited?"

"I guess." London licked her lips before adding, "I mean do you think this is really what he would have wanted. He didn't tell us for a reason and a bucket list and is a very personal thing. Hell, marrying Sam Claflin is on my bucket list. I would hate it if you did that instead of me."

"Sam Claflin is already married, London."

"I bet that wasn't on Laura Haddock's bucket list."

Sophie pressed her lips together trying to hide her smile, "how do you know his wife's name."

"The Internet." London muttered slumping back in her seat. As if on cue, the girls' phones buzzed with a new email. Sophie was still driving so London decided to check it.

She tapped on the message from Ian and glanced over the list. Some things were barely legal and others made little sense. One item caught her eye.

"Fuck." Sophie flashed her a quick glance and Kevin snickered.

➳

"Kiss London Ellis?" London stomped down the hallway, Sophie striding idly beside her, finding the whole thing a little amusing; "You must be freakin mad if you think I'm kissing either of you two bozos. And why the hell did he write that on the list? "

Henry cocked his head, raising his eyebrows behind his signature sunglasses. Ian tossed his laptop into his locker, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile.

"You know London, that's the most you've ever said to me and isn't it obvious enough why he wrote it." London took a step back, catching her breath. What kind of way is this to find out? The boy you loved actually did like you back only now he was gone. She glanced up to the ceiling and her eyes glistened with tears she refused to let fall. No way was she going to cry in front of Ian, in the middle of the hallway.

"Now you've done it." Henry sighed, pushing himself of the locker.

"London?" Sophie's reached out to rest a hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm not crying." London sighed as the second bell resonated through the hallways, "take that off the list."

"Don't worry Lo, you'll kiss me willingly." Henry winked. London rolled her eyes and Sophie crinkled her nose; he was as tacky as the day they met.

➳

Sophie had band practice after school and London said she would wait for her but after the fourth time they practiced smoke on the water, the repetitive nature of what constituted practice hit her. Waving at Sophie during the break in her clarinet solo, she quietly snuck out of the band room.

She found Henry by the bleachers, he was the stats boy for the lacrosse team but it was more for the gawky rich kid to be in the 'in' crowd without actually playing the sport.

"Hey."
He looked up to acknowledge her presence, his gaze returning to his phone as London slumped down beside him. She would often come to watch Cam play. "Aren't you watching?"

He shrugged in response. "Nah, Ian's benched."

"What, why?" She glanced in Ian's direction, the boy hunched over watching his teammates play without him.

"He's been off all practice, coach is thinking about pulling him off first string."

London lowered her head to rest on her palms, everything felt different without Cam. Her eyes glistened with tears at the thought. She hated this; she had cried more the past few days than she had in her entire life.

When she sniffled, Henry lifted his head and patted the back of her head like he would a dog. He wasn't particularly good with crying girls. London's eyes crinkled and she laughed through her sobs.

"You're so bad at this."

"This is what I get for trying." He laughed, returning his gaze back to his phone.

"Hey I'm going to go." She tapped Henry, grabbing my things and stepping down from the bleachers.

When she was behind the bleacher she sighed and leant back against the cold metal, she was supposed to be the strong one, she was the one to keep Sophie's naïve ideas in check, keep Henry from being too arrogant, and Teri, well she was supposed to be there for Teri and not once today had she even asked where she was.

"London." Ian ran up to her, lifting the helmet from his head, he messed up his hair in frustration.

"What's wrong? Is it Cam?"

"Yes," she mumbled, her palms covering her face, "he's supposed to be here. And Asher sucks and you're not the goalie anymore and..."

She froze as Ian brushed the loose strands that had been caught to her tears from her face. His face was inches from hers and she could feel his hot breath on her nose. Pressing her lips tightly together she pushed her face into her neck.

"I'm not going to kiss you Ellis." Ian laughed.