Charlie

I did what?

I rub the sleep out of my eyes as the phone call comes back to me. There's no way I said that. But I did. I remember shaping the words, I remember them slipping out of my lips and then falling to sleep after.

Did she say them back?

I shake my head. That doesn't matter. She probably didn't even hear me say those three words in my sleep-induced voice.

But what if she did? Did I just completely miss that and now I'll never hear her say them as the first time again?

Why am I such an idiot? Why did I let the words out? Sure they're true but it definitely wasn't the right moment to be saying them.

I groan as I get out of bed. A lump still under the blankets. I roll my eyes at Max, but truly I wish I could crawl back into bed and forget about last night. But I can't. And today I have to face Olivia, and I have no idea whether to hope she heard me or to hope she didn't.

Once I'm ready and sitting down and eating I ask dad, "Have you ever told anyone you loved them and then fell asleep right after?"

He looks at me like I'm crazying before laughing. I take a deep breath, trying to not let the heat that's building in my chest, out. He whips his eyes. "I've neve done that. But I've done something similar."

"Really?" The heat disappears.

He nods. "One time, I was out partying and my current girlfriend was there. I got so drunk that I guess I told her I loved her."

"You guess?"

He grins. "I forgot about it until the next day when she told me before breaking up with me."

My eyes widen. "Actually?"

He nods and chuckles. "Yep. Though I had it coming. I was kind of a jerk to her."

"Do you think that's what Olivia will do with me today? Break it off?" My throat seems to close up at the thought.

He shakes his head. "No way. Olivia seems to really care about you and you seem to really care about her." I nod. "So if anything it'll just be a little awkward, but she won't break up with you just because you said it."

"Are you sure?"

He brings his coffee mug up to his lips before nodding. "Did I ever tell you about the first time I told your mom I loved her?" he asks as he sets the mug back on the table.

I shake my head.

"We had just gotten back to my dorm room after a concert. I was tired and maybe a little drunk." He winks as if this is a secret between us. "We kissed and as we pulled apart I said into her mouth that I loved her."

I scrunch up my face. "Into her mouth?"

He nods. "It didn't sound like the words, but it was."

"That's so gross."

His laughter fills the room. "It was. But sometimes that's what love is. Messy and gross."

I can't help but laugh at that. "I've never heard love be called gross."

He shrugs. "Sometimes it is. But other times it's amazing."

I nod and roll my eyes. "Okay. I get it."

He lifts a brow. "Do you?"

"Yeah."

"So are you ready to face Olivia then?"

"More than ready. Thanks, dad."

He grins. "Glad I could help."

***

I shake my hands out and take a deep breath before opening the car door.

I can do this. I can do this. Nothing scary about seeing Olivia. It's not like I said the big three words last night. It's just Olivia.

But even as I make my way up to the door the nervousness grips my heart. It pounds loudly in my ears as I knock on the door.

A smiling Olivia opens the door. But I notice it right away, the tension hiding in her gaze. "Charlie!" She exclaims before wrapping her arms around me and kissing my cheek.

My arms wrap around her. "Hey."

She pulls away. "How did you sleep?"

Oh wow. She's really getting right to it, isn't she? "I slept good. What about you?" I gulp.

She nods, maybe a little too fast for my liking. "I slept great! Nothing kept me up at all." She says it through gritted teeth.

I raise a brow. "Are you su-"

"Yep!" Then her eyes widen. "Oh! Did you want to come in?"

Something twists in my stomach but I nod. She steps out of the doorway to let me in. When I step in I take my shoes off and place them by the door. She closes it and gestures for me to follow her. "I've got my laptop set up in the dining room."

I nod. "Sounds good. Did you get a lot of the applications filled in last night?" I rub the back of my neck.

She shakes her head, her red hair flying back and forth as she does. "Not after you told me- uh- to go to bed."

I nod. "Yep. Glad you listened to that." I want her to just say it and to stop beating around the bush. I know that's what she's doing.

We get to the dining room. The laptop sits on the table before two chairs. "I figured it'd be easier to have us both sitting in front of it to see the questions."

"Yeah." But I get the sense it won't be a great thing today, even if I want to be close to Olivia.

She takes the seat that's more centered from the laptop and I take the one beside it. As I try to get comfortable our legs brush, sending a jolt through me. I freeze unsure of how she'll react but she just laughs.

"Why do you seem so tense today?" She looks at me out of the corner of her eye. A tiny smile on her face.

"Probably for the same reason you are." The words come out harsher than I mean for them to.

Her smile drops. She shifts away from me.

"No- wait I didn't-"

She shakes her head and turns to face me. "No. You're right. We both know why we're acting strange."

I don't know whether to be relieved or more stressed. I nod. "Yep. Definitely. Completely right."

She chuckles. I'm glad I can still see her tiny smile. She takes a deep breath. "Before my phone died and ended the call you said-"

"That I love you." I nod. "I remember."

Her face gets close to the color of her hair. "Yeah." She tucks a strand behind her ear. "I um... I didn't know how to react."

"Did you say it back?" I whisper.

Her eyes widen before she looks away. "I- by the time it registered what you said my phone had died."

I sigh. Her face shoots up, her eyes wide. My own widen. I shake my hands in front of me. "I didn't mean it like that!" I grab her hands, and thankfully she doesn't pull them away. "I'm just glad that I didn't miss you saying them. Well, that's assuming you would say them or would even want to say them or-"

"Charlie." She laughs. "Of course I'll say them. I already know that. It's just..." She hesitates.

"You're not ready yet?"

She nods and adverts her eyes.

I place my fingers under her chin and lift her face until she has no choice but to look into my own. "That's okay. I don't want to rush you or make you feel like you have to say them. Okay?"

She nods.

"I love you, Olivia." I lean forward to kiss her. She kisses me back and somehow it feels better than the first kiss we ever had.

Her hands go up into my hair, twirling it around her fingers. My hands slide down her back and cradle her towards me. We pull away, both a little breathless. Her breath tickles my face.

"Charlie?"

"Yeah?" I murmur.

"I'm really glad I met you."

"Me too."

"I'm glad that I took your offer to help me. I'm glad that I get to kiss you so much and get to be with you. I'm happy that you're going to be a part of my future."

I peck her lips. "I'm glad too."

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

My eyes widen. "What?"

Her lips are pulled down into a frown. "Do you not-"

I shake my head. "No! I mean- yes! Yes I would love to be your boyfriend!"

She smiles.

"You're amazing, Olivia. And I can't believe that you even like me! You're like, a billion times cooler and smarter and you're so put together and you're so sweet and kind and amazing and-"

She laughs, throwing her head back. "Charlie, I'm all those things? What about you?" She jabs her finger into my chest.

"What about me? I'm none of those things."

She shakes her head. "Of course you are! You're sweet and kind. You're goofy but not in a dumb way. You think about others and you're just... you're amazing."

My gaze softens and I pull her into another kiss. This one longer. When we pull apart I find that she's half in my lap and half falling out of her chair. We laugh. I brush her hair behind her ear. "Should we get back to your forms?"

She looks lazily over at her laptop. "After a few more kisses." Then her mouth is back on mine. Her hands back in my hair. The forms forgotten once more.