Charlie

We give the waitress our drink and food order. Then I turn to her. My mom. She's the only one who's spoken since we've sat down besides telling our orders, and when she did speak Olivia shook her head and somehow that shut her up.

"Charlie," she tries again. "How are you?"

"I'm good." I look down at the table, wishing I still had the menu to look at.

"And who did you bring with you today?"

"This is Olivia." I squeeze her hand.

"It's nice to meet you." Olivia holds her hand out over the table. My mother looks at it before shaking it.

"Nice to meet you as well. Have you known Charlie for a while?"

Olivia shakes her head. "Not really. I mean, we did go to middle school together but we never talked before this year."

"So you just got together this year?"

"Oh well we're n-"

"Yes." I look up and meet my mothers eye. The urge to declare Olivia as mine stirs in my stomach. I want her to know that I've done well without my mom in my life. That I can still receive love from other people. Is that selfish?

She smiles, her mirrored eyes softening. "That's lovely." Her gaze turns to me. "I'm so happy for you."

I scoff and roll my eyes. "There's more than just that to be happy about for my life, but I guess you wouldn't know that."

Olivia shifts beside me. My mother ducks her head. But there's no crack in her voice when she speaks. "I know. I'm sure I have many reasons to be proud of you for. And I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I was trying to get better and...and, well, nothing would excuse why I wasn't there."

I shake my head. "No. Nothing would." I meet her gaze. "Why weren't you there? Did you even care?" My voice cracks on the word care.

Her gaze softens. "Of course I did. There wasn't a moment that went by where I didn't care. But sometimes it hurt to think of you." She looks down at her clasped hands. Olivia's thumb runs circles along my hand. "There'd be days where I'd think about when I'd come home to you, too lost in my mind and the liquor to really see you. Your scared face imprinted in my mind. I never wanted you to see me like that again. Never wanted to contact you when I wasn't sober. And even when I was... I was scared."

"That's no excuse," I whisper.

She shakes her head. "It isn't." She goes to reach across the table, but her hand freezes and she retracts it. "I thought it would be better, but I guess it wasn't." She chuckles.

"I would have liked even letters," I whisper. "Or phone calls."

She sighs. "I know. I could have done better. That's what I'm trying to do now."

I shake my head. "It isn't the same."

She nods. She attempts to form a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Hi there!" Our gazes shoot up to our waitress holding our food. She places them down in front of us before backing away and asking if we need anything else. We all shake our heads. When she leaves, none of us speak. We all pick away at our food in silence.

"So, I heard that Mr. Masko is helping you find a job," Olivia says, breaking the silence.

My mom nods. She holds a finger up as she finishes chewing before speaking. "Yes. He is. I'm hoping that finding a job will help me settle, and be more present."

I want to make a remark about how it didn't help in the past, but I hold my tongue.

"Speaking of jobs, what do you two plan to do?"

Olivia glances at me, and when I remain silent she answers first. "Charlie has actually been helping me figure that out. And just recently I've decided to be a vet."

"A vet? That sounds like a good career." She glances at Charlie. "Are you following in your dad's path then?"

I nod.

She grins. "That's lovely. I'm sure your dad must be so proud of you."

"He is."

She grins.

***

After paying for the bill we sit and talk for a little longer. Sorry, Olivia and my mom do most of the talking with me nodding or answering questions when needed. It's nice that Olivia has taken charge and kept most of the discussion off me and has done most of the talking.

My mom sighs. "I should be going now. I'm going and looking at apartments this evening."

"Where are you staying now?" I ask.

"Just in a motel."

"Why are you staying there?"

She glances down at the table. "Me and your dad thought it would be better than me staying with you two."

"Oh."

She nods. "It seemed like it was for the best. For everyone." She stands up and shakes her legs out, before grabbing her purse. "It was really nice meeting you, Olivia."

Olivia nods. "It was nice meeting you as well."

My mom smiles. "And Charlie?" I glance up at her. "I hope we can get to know each other more?"

I shrug. "Maybe."

She smiles sadly before nodding. She turns her head away. "Alright. I'll see you two around?"

We nod and then she leaves. The moment she's out of sight I slump back against the seat. A sigh escapes my body with all the tension.

"How do you feel?" Olivia asks.

I think about that question. How do I feel? It's like whatever worries were sitting on my shoulders flew away, but a little still remained. "I feel better."

"Was it the closure you needed?"

I nod then shrug. "Sort of. I'm glad I got the answers I wanted but it still feels so... Honestly? I'm not even sure."

She grabs my hand. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

I squeeze her hand. "I'm sure I will."

Her phone pings and she grabs it. She frowns before turning to me. "My mom wants me home. Says she wants to help with university apps and that doing it sooner is better than later." She rolls her eyes.

I laugh. "She's not wrong you know."

She sighs. "I know. Take me home please?"

"Of course, M'lady." I stand up and bow as I offer her a hand.

She rolls her eyes but takes it.